October 26, 2003 Genesis 2:18-24
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,’ for she was taken out of man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (NIV)
Dear friends,
Marriage is a great institution. But I’m not ready for an institution yet. -- Mae West
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations -- we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. -- Comedian Rodney Dangerfield
I think, therefore I’m single. -- Comedian Lizz Winstead
Some of these may bring a chuckle out of us. But don’t you grow tired of people always ripping on marriage? Truth be told, marriage is on attack now today more than ever. After hearing so many negative views on marriage, wouldn’t it be nice to hear the positives of marriage? That’s what today is being set aside for - to look at the blessings of marriage. What better source to turn to for this positive view, than to the one who instituted it? Today we’ll see that
God Gives Us a Fresh View on Marriage
I. He shows us our need of it
If God said cream puffs were good, the devil would hire 30 dieticians to convince people they were bad for you. If God said that sleep was good for you, then the devil would bring fifty scientists on the sight to tell us the opposite. That’s the way the devil works. That’s why God calls him the “father of lies.” Today God tells us that He established marriage because, “it is not good for man to be alone.” And just like any truth of the Bible, the devil will do his best to prove the opposite. When God says that it isn’t good for man to be alone, the devil whispers the exact opposite. He says, “God doesn’t want you to be alone. But why make a commitment to just one person, when you can have the pleasure of playing the field?” The devil uses TV shows like Sex and the City to make us think that it’s much easier and much more fun to remain single and just have an occasional sexual encounter with a different partner here and there. Why buy the cow when you can drink it’s milk for free?
But what did God say? He gives us a fresh view of marriage. Marriage is not a curse. He established it because, “It is not good for man to be alone.” As a general rule, what God said is true. Why? Well, consider Adam’s situation. God had Adam name all of the creatures that God had made. One by one, Adam examined these creatures, noticed what their individual characteristics were, and then named them according to those strengths. Imagine the situation - Adam examining each creature and saying, “Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe, Mr. and Mrs. Gorilla, Mr. and Mrs. Lion, etc.” It wouldn’t take long for him to realize that something was missing in his life. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. There was no Mrs. Man. He was missing something. There wasn’t anyone by his side. He couldn’t have an intelligent conversation with an animal. He could talk with God, but it wouldn’t be quite the same. Adam needed someone that was like him - someone that he could walk with, talk with, and be one with. Without that companion, something was missing.
This is the main reason why it isn’t good to be alone. Most people are in need of that companionship. It’s ok to walk home and have a dog come up to you and lick your face. But a dog can’t give you advice. A dog can’t hug you. It can’t understand your thoughts and feelings. You can’t take it out to eat or raise children with one. Most of us need something more than that. It isn’t good to be alone.
More problems arise from being alone, that result from living in a sinful world. Being single for 27 years of my life, I noticed plenty of negatives about being single. One thing I noticed that “wasn’t good” about being single, is that you become stygmatized. How often don’t we treat single people like there’s something wrong with them, like they have some sort of a disease or something? The older you get, the bigger the spotlight gets. People begin to tease you more about being single. When you do talk to someone of the opposite sex, people whisper at each other and start to tease you immediately. You feel like you aren’t a part of the group. You feel tentative to go to your friends house, because you don’t have a spouse to bring alone. You feel like you’re a “third wheel.” When you see other friends getting married, you start to feel like something is wrong with you. It isn’t good.
There’s a third reason that it “isn’t good to be alone.” When you have those urges for companionship, you become tempted to turn to other sources for companionship, sources that are not condoned by God. When there is no companionship, some give into the temptations to turn to sexual promiscuity as the answer to their answer for being alone. Instead of looking for a life long mate, they settle for a one night stand. Or they may turn to a magazine, the internet, a TV show, or a hotline. This temptation is greater for those who are alone. For this reason, it isn’t good to be alone.
God only gives us one exception to this rule. There are those who have what we would call the “gift of Paul.” They can live without getting married and still give glory to God in their lifestyle. These people are not rejects. They are not strange. We do not need to feel sorry for them. They have what God calls a “gift.” (1 Corinthians 7:7) It is a blessing to be able to live without feeling a need to get married. But this is the exception.
One thing that is interesting about this account, is Adam’s reaction to the situation. He was in a situation that even God called “not good.” He knew that he had no companion. But in his state of perfection, he didn’t complain to God. He didn’t blame God or call Him uncaring or unloving. He accepted the lot God had given him, even though it wasn’t good. He knew the situation wasn’t good, but as a perfect human being, he trusted that God would take care of him and do what his best. This is a good example for those who are single.
II. He shows us why He established it
Adam trusted God, and look at what happened - The Lord God said, I will make a helper suitable for him. . . So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Doesn’t this give us a whole different view of marriage? When God established marriage, He was providing man with a HELPER SUITABLE for him. Once again, God gives us a fresh view of marriage, as he shows us not only man’s need of it, but also His purpose for establishing it. He wasn’t doing it to burden us. He established marriage to help us.
This becomes clear when you note where God took the rib from. He didn’t take it from Adam’s head, and He didn’t take it from Adam’s foot. No, he took it from Adam’s side. Although we don’t know for sure why God picked the rib, it seems to reflect God’s purpose in instituting marriage. He didn’t pick a bone from Adam’s head, as if Eve was supposed to rule Adam’s life as the head. He didn’t make her so Adam could step on her, like he would the bone of his foot. No, God picked the rib bone - that closest to his heart. In this sense, Eve was to fulfill the void left in Adam’s life. She was to be a HELPER, to take care of the needs of his heart. This was not only God’s purpose for Eve. It was God’s purpose for every marital relationship. Man is the head. Woman is the helper.
Does that terminology - head and helper - leave a sour taste in your mouth? Often we think of a helper as being someone who is less important or less than equal. But look at how God describes himself. In Psalm 46:1 God says that He is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. God describes Himself as our Helper. He wants us to think of Him as someone that we can turn to in times of trouble. Is this so bad that God calls the woman the helper? God could have made it a lot worse. He could have made a “doormat suitable” for Adam. He could have made a “punching bag suitable.” But He didn’t. In His wisdom, God made a “helper suitable.” Therefore, the wife has the prime responsibility to help her husband where he has weaknesses. Instead of exposing the husband’s faults, or leaving their husbands because they have faults, they are to help them and cover up their husband’s weaknesses. If he asks for some assistance in taking care of the children, then the wife should be willing to assist. If he needs the wife to work a part time job, then she should be willing. What is so bad about this? If God doesn’t have a problem being our helper, why should a wife have a problem with this role? This is not a curse. It is a blessing to a marriage when a woman fulfills her role as the helper, and the husband treats her that way. This is why God called woman suitable for man. God especially designed her to help man where he is weak.
There are plenty of examples both in Scriptures and in life where this is proven to be a good thing. Take the example of Nabal and Abigail. David had arrived in Desert of Maon and asked a rich man by the name of Nabal for help. But like a fool, Nabal insulted David and sent him off empty handed. David told his men to put their swords on, for he was going to kill Nabal for this. But Abigail, Nabal’s wife, went and interceded for her husband, asking David to forgive him. She gave David all of the food he needed, and asked him to leave her husband go. As a result, Nabal was spared from David’s sword. She helped her husband. She was fulfilling her purpose as the helper, even though her husband was a fool.
Husbands, just think about how this happens in your life. Where would you be if it weren’t for your wife? How about with your social life? Would you have one? Would you be coming to worship? Would you end up with a sexual disease? Sure, you’d survive. But a woman helps so much to complete a man. When he is weak socially, the wife helps complete him. When he is weak with his temper, she helps control him. When he is weak with his cleanliness, she helps him. When he can’t do finances, she helps him. God gives women to men to help them. They help to give their husbands confidence and support. I can’t imagine what my children would look like if it weren’t for my wife. Their hair would be all messed up most of the time. Their clothes wouldn’t match. They’d also be deprived of any example of patience. They’d only eat peanut butter and jelly or macaroni every day.
Do you see what a fresh view God gives us of marriage? Women, this is not something that God wants to taste sour in your mouths. He doesn’t want you to interpret this as if you were less than equal. Without you, men would be lonely. If anything, it’s a dig on us, because we need your help. You are fulfilling a very important role in our survival. You are God’s answer to a situation that was not good. You are here to help us give glory to God. Do not complain to God when your husband needs that help. Do not look at your role as a punishment of God. He established this role before the Fall. This is a good thing.
And husbands, do you see this blessing that God has given you? Adam noticed this blessing right away. When God presented him with Eve, look at his response - The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,’ for she was taken out of man." Adam was so happy to be blessed with a spouse. This is what God wants your attitude to be. If any of you refer to your wife as the old “ball and chain,” then your attitude stinks. How do you think that God feels about this? Here he has provided you with someone to help complete you, to cover up your weaknesses. How could you complain about this gift of God? What an abuse of God’s gift for a husband to beat his wife, abuse his wife, or take advantage of his position as the head.
There once was a perfect man who was searching for the perfect wife, but he just couldn’t find one. All of the women in his world were just lousy helpers, adulterous, unfaithful, and worst of all, ugly. Yet, instead of remaining single, he picked the most ugly woman he could find who had the worst body odor, and said, “I’m going to marry her.” With that resolution, he cleaned her up, gave her all the riches of the world, gave her a facial, and made her the most beautiful woman in the world. Some of you may be saying, “I wish that were my husband.” Fellow Christians, that IS your husband. Jesus Christ is the ultimate role model for a faithful husband, and we are the worst role model for an unfaithful wife. Yet Jesus, because He died for us, and because He pledged His love for us in our baptism, promises to forgive us and stick with us, in spite of our sins. Even if you’ve been unfaithful in your marriage, gotten a divorce, or complained about your spouse, Jesus died for those sins. Even though we have been unfaithful and left Him, He won’t ask for the divorce. Instead, He calls on you to return to Him, He’ll just clean you up and love you all the more. For this we can truly be thankful. Just as God provided Eve for Adam, so He has provided Christ for us. He has made us beautiful in His sight through the blood of Christ. What a blessing!
Now that you have a fresh view of marriage, how many of you think that your marriages will last? How many of you think that you will be married forever? Do you know the answer to that question? None. All of our marriages will eventually end, when one of us dies. Jesus said that at the resurrection we will neither marry nor be given into marriage. (Matthew 22:30) This is not a permanent thing.
So what’s the purpose of marriage? God has established marriage to help fulfill a temporary need while we are on this side of earth. He has done it so that we will no longer be lonely, so that we will be fruitful and multiply, and so that we can help each other on our way to heaven. So enjoy it while it lasts. The temporary marriage that God has blessed you with is only a taste of what it will be like when we are in that great marriage feast in heaven, enjoying eternal blessings with our true eternal Husband; the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
