September 21, 2002
I. INTRODUCTION:
A. Story of David and Jonathan
1. 1 Samuel 20:1-42
2. Story of devotion, faithfulness, bravery, and commitment amidst strife, hatred, and jealousy.
3. David’s lamentation over Jonathan’s death
a. 2 Samuel 1:25-26, “How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle! Jonathan is slain upon thy high places. I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: Very pleasant hast thou been unto me: Thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”
B. Story of Naomi and Ruth
1. Ruth 1:1-22
2. Naomi, Elimelech, and their two sons, Mahlon and Kilion
3. Because of famine in Bethlehem, they moved to Moab
4. After a while, the Elimelech passed away.
5. The two sons married Moabite women named Orpah and Ruth
6. Several years later, both sons died also.
7. Famine in Bethlehem had passed and Naomi wanted to go back to her homeland.
8. Orpah returned to her people, but Ruth, struck a deal with Naomi.
9. Ruth 1:14-17, “Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. And she said, "See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law." But Ruth said, "Entreat me not to leave you or to return from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God; where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if even death parts me from you."
II. BODY:
A. Importance of Friendship—Quotable quotes from famous and not so famous people.
1. Euripides, Greek play write, “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”
2. Emily Dickenson, “My friends are my estate.”
3. Woodrow Wilson, “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.”
4. Charles Caleb Colton, “True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.”
B. Principles of Friendship
1. Friendly
a. Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”
b. ABC’s of friendship
1. Accepts you as you are
Believes in you
Calls you just to say ~Hi~
Doesn’t give up on you
Envisions the whole of you
(even the unfinished parts)
Forgives your mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps you
Invites you over
Just because
Keeps you close at heart
Loves you for who you are
Makes a difference in your life
Never judges
Offers support
Picks you up
Quiets your fears
Raises your spirits
Says nice things about you
Tells you the truth when you need to hear it
Understands you
Values you
Walks beside you
Xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Yells (gently) when you won’t listen and
Zaps you back to reality (OUCH!)
c. Friendship for wrong reasons
1. Wealth
i. Proverbs 14:20, “The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends.”
ii. Proverbs 19:4, “Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.”
iii. Proverbs 19:6, “Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.”
2. Food
i. John 6:26, “Jesus answered them and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled.”
3. Influence
4. Social status, prestige, and fame
5. Education
6. Sexual motive
a. Knows no boundary
b. No one is immunized from such scandal
c. It happens between teachers and students
d. It happens betweens physician and patients
2. Frank and honest
a. Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
b. Although it may be difficult to say, a true friend will tell you exactly what he thinks about you.
1. A true friend will tell you that your behavior may not be appropriate for a particular situation.
2. A true friend will tell you that your attire may not be appropriate for the occasion.
3. If your friend has something against you, you will be the first and only one to know.
c. Oscar Wilde, “A true friend stabs you in the front.”
d. George Herbert, “The best mirror is an old friend.”
1. A true friend will not use flattery words for you to like him or her.
2. A true friend will not try to make you believe on something that you are not.
3. A true friend will see both your strength and weaknesses.
4. He will see both your beauty and imperfections.
5. A true friend both reflects and inspires.
e. Obstacles to frankness:
1. Sensitiveness
i. A person cannot be frank with you for the reason that you are easily affected by emotions.
ii. You easily react or overreact in a negative way.
2. Frequent misunderstanding of concerns communicated by friends.
i. Concerns expressed by friends are taken or interpreted as personal attacks
ii. Concerns expressed by friends are interpreted as a way to belittle the person.
iii. Concerns are taken to mean that the person wants to stop your friendship.
3. Nonchalant or insensitive attitude towards the concerns expressed by friends.
a. Illustration—Over dependent brother-in-law.
i. They frequently came for different supply—rice, unions, bread, etc.
ii. They frequently left their son to our care.
4. Denial of concerns expressed by a friend.
3. Forgiving
a. Hosea and Gomer
1. Hosea, prophet of God to the Northern kingdom.
2. Ministered during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, Jeroboam II, and Hezekiah of the Southern kingdom.
3. Asked by God to marry a prostitute in order to demonstrate the idolatrous path that the northern kingdom of Israel hade taken.
4. But also to demonstrate God loves for His people in spite of their unfaithfulness.
5. Hosea 3:1-3, “Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine. So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley: And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee.
b. Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
c. “Precious and long-lasting friendships are destroyed not so much by adversity, but by one’s unwillingness to forgive.”
d. Obstacles to forgiveness:
1. Pride
i. Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
2. Unwillingness humble one’s self
3. Unwillingness to accept one’s mistakes
4. Self-justification
5. Arrogance
4. Faithful
a. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
b. Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
c. Examples of false friends:
1. Circumstantial friend
i. They come by accident
ii. They come when it is convenient
iii. They come due to some circumstances
2. Opportunistic friend
i. They come because of a need
ii. They come because they have heard of your fortune
iii. They come to satisfy a particular need.
d. Patient with you
1. Illustration: Odysseus and his dog Argus
e. Protect you
1. Protects your honor
2. Does not circulate humors about you
3. Defends you in the face of critiques
4. Upholds what you believe
f. Satisfies you
1. Psalm 23:1 {A Psalm of David.} The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.”
g. Willingness to sacrifice everything for a friend’s sake
1. John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
2. Jesus, our greatest friend
a. Illustration—Mother giving her two ears to her son.
