“Total Forgiveness- Part 2”
Text: Genesis 45:4-11
9-14-03
In the name of our Loving God, who Totally Forgives us ALL of our sins, Dear friends in Christ. As promised last week, we’re going to continue our examination of that all important doctrine of Forgiveness. But before we get into our continuing discussion, let me clear something up. After the last sermon, someone said to me, “You know, so-and-so REALLY needs to hear that sermon.” And I believe you’re right. But listen to me closely. SO DO YOU!! Don’t just think that it’s the OTHER person who needs to learn how to Forgive. YOU NEED TO HEAR IT TOO!! WE ALL DO!! I know... you’re thinking to yourself, “No I don’t!! I’m okay with it. I can forgive and forget and I don’t hold any grudges.” I don’t doubt for a minute that you’re being honest. But I don’t believe that you’re practicing TOTAL Forgiveness... the way that God wants us to Forgive one another. You may not be upset with the person who hurt you. You may not be actively seeking to get back at them. You may have dropped the issue in your mind and stopped thinking about it and that person. But that’s not the same as truly and TOTALLY Forgiving them.
How can I be so sure that you’re not practicing TOTAL Forgiveness?? It’s simple. You’re a sinful human being just like me and every other person who has ever lived on the face of this earth. And because of that, it’s guaranteed that you’re going to make mistakes and struggle with TOTALLY Forgiving someone. It’s a hard process. In fact, it’s probably the most difficult thing you’ll ever have to do. In a sense, it’s like climbing Mt. Everest. It may be very difficult, but it will be the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done in your life.
I think that the author of that book I told you about, R.T. Kendall, hit the nail right on the head. He said that you may not think you’ve ever seen or experienced a miracle in your life. But once God leads you to Totally Forgive someone, you will see a real-life miracle. No... you won’t see Jesus changing water into wine... or healing someone from a dreaded disease... or raising someone from the dead. But you will see Him change the attitude of your heart... and remove the dreaded disease of bitterness from your mind... and He will resurrect in you the Peace that He wants you to have.
A miracle is when something supernatural happens. And Totally Forgiving someone is supernatural. In other words, it goes against the laws of nature that are at work in our sinful hearts. It’s not natural for us sinners to Forgive. Our sinful nature would rather seek revenge. Our sinful nature would rather hold onto the desire to pay back the person who hurt us... even if that payback doesn’t come from us. Our sinful nature hopes for the day when we’ll be able to see the offending person suffering and say, “Sucker... you got what you deserved. What goes around comes around!” THAT is not Total Forgiveness. The good news is that God can teach us how to do it His way. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can experience this miracle in our own lives.
So where can we go to learn how God wants us to Forgive?? As always, our only reliable source is God’s Word. And trust me, it’s full of examples of how God wants us to Totally Forgive others. He sets out for us a model or a pattern for us to follow as we seek to Forgive in a way that’s pleasing to Him. Maybe the best thing to do is to start with a negative example.
Hopefully you all remember the story of Jacob and Esau. The Reader’s Digest version is that Jacob pulled a nasty trick on his brother Esau and stole his birthright. When Esau learned what had happened, he was angry. He was so angry that Genesis 27:41 says: Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, "The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” In other words, he was going to bide his time and when their father was dead, he was planning on paying back Jacob... by killing him. He nursed a grudge against his brother and he wanted harm to come to him. Thankfully, I can tell you that God changed Esau’s heart. Because years later when these two brothers met again, Esau had finally forgiven Jacob. But I just wonder how many years Esau didn’t suffer as he held onto his bitterness and his plans for revenge.
Next, lets look at a positive example. It’s found in our Old Testament reading from Genesis 45. Here again, I’ll just give you the Reader’s Digest version of the facts leading up to our text. Joseph was one of 12 sons of a famous man named??? Ironically, their father was good old Jacob... the guy you just heard about. Now watch how history repeats itself here. Joseph was Daddy’s favorite. On top of that, Joseph tells his brothers about a dream where they all bow down to him. So one day they catch Joseph out in the field and decide to kill him. But instead of killing him, they sell him as a slave to some traders who were passing by. Lets face it. No matter what this kid had said, that was a pretty mean thing to do to him. If anybody had a right to be angry and hold a grudge, Joseph did.
Eventually, he ends up in Egypt and after years and years as a slave, God blesses him and Joseph becomes the second most powerful man in the country. Well, there was a famine back home in the land of Canaan and Jacob’s boys go to Egypt to buy grain. And guess who they have to deal with?? Yep... the brother they had mistreated. But so much time had passed that they didn’t recognize Joseph anymore. And yet, he recognized them!! What an opportunity for revenge!! He could pay them back 100 times over for the awful thing they had done to him. He could make them beg for mercy and forgiveness. But that’s not what he did.
Evidently, over the years, God had worked the miracle of Total Forgiveness in Joseph’s heart. So in our text for today, he reveals his identity to his brothers. But if you look in your Bibles at verse 3 which comes right before our text, it says his brothers were terrified. Why do you suppose they were terrified?? Because they knew how our sinful nature operates. They expected Joseph to want revenge. But he did the opposite... because he had already Totally Forgiven them a long time ago. Those brothers simply found it hard to believe that he could or would Totally Forgive them. In fact, later on when their father dies, they figure Joseph will finally pay them back. So they made up a lie telling Joseph that their father had left instructions to not hurt them once he was dead and gone. And verse 17 of chapter 50 says “When their message came to him, Joseph wept.” Poor Joseph. God had worked the miracle of Total Forgiveness in his heart... and now his brothers were too scared to receive it. He cried because he wished them absolutely no harm... but they were beating themselves up anyway. Verse 21saysthat Joseph “reassured them and spoke kindly to them.” Isn’t that amazing!?!? Here we have Joseph, the VICTIM... having to work overtime to convince his brothers that he had indeed Totally Forgiven them.
Lets turn back to our text in chapter 45. Since Joseph has Totally Forgiven his brothers, he wants them to know that they’re off the hook. But there’s something very important I want you to notice. Joseph doesn’t deny what they had done. He doesn’t pretend that the awful sin against him didn’t happen. But he repeats it only as a piece of Forgiven history. This is where I think so many of us balk at the idea of Total Forgiveness. We think that if we Totally Forgive someone then we have to pretend like the past never happened. That’s not true. As I said last week, you can never really totally forget things like this. But when you’ve totally let it go, and given it over to God, it can become a piece of Forgiven History in your life.
If you’re not sure if Joseph had Totally Forgiven his brothers, then just look at what he told them to say to their father. He very easily could have made them go home and tell Dad the awful story of what they had done. Think how sweet that revenge sounds. Not only would they have to confess their sin... but they’d have to do it to Dad, whom they had lied to all those years. But Joseph doesn’t even mention it in his instructions to them. And after that, he refuses to bring it up again. The only time he talks about it is when the BROTHERS bring it up. As far as Joseph was concerned, the issue was Forgiven... so it was dead and buried. You see, in no way shape or form did Joseph want to see his brothers suffer for a sin that was already Forgiven!! THAT is telltale sign of Total Forgiveness.
I just wonder if WE are prepared to Forgive in the same way. I know our tendency. When someone has hurt us, we want to tell others about it. We may not try to get revenge in any other way. But we want anyone and everyone who will listen... to know just how rotten that person is who hurt us. In essence we’re hoping to pay them back by hurting their reputation. THAT is a telltale sign that we haven’t Totally Forgiven. You might be thinking, “Well, that’s too bad. I can’t bring myself to Forgive at that level.” Need I remind you of what Jesus said in Matthew 18:35?? He said, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” My question to you is, “Is that how you want God to Forgive you??” I didn’t think so!! God doesn’t go around telling other people about our Forgiven Sins. And He doesn’t want us to do that either. He wants us to TOTALLY Forgive others and then drop it.
Before we go any further, I feel we should answer a concern that this might raise. What if the person who hurt you is a “repeat offender”?? For instance, what if they have a hot temper or an offensive habit of insulting people?? What if they have a personality that could really hurt or damage someone who is weaker than you?? Don’t you have a responsibility to warn others about that person?? The answer is NO. But it’s a qualified NO. I sincerely do believe there is a time and a place for confronting someone about their sin against you. In Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus gives us clear instruction for confronting a sin. But in that process it’s supposed to stay as confidential and private as possible. Even if that person remains unrepentant, Jesus never says that it’s open season on telling the whole world about how awful this person is. Yes, the last step is to “tell it to the Church.” But then the whole Church has the Christian responsibility to keep their lips zipped about it. And if you ever end up having to tell a sin to the whole church... it had better not be as an act of revenge. You’ll have to search your own soul on your motives.
As I said, the answer there was a qualified NO. If your mind or your conscience is plagued by what someone has done to hurt you, you do have the option of telling someone. First and foremost, I would hope that you’d start with me, your Pastor. Why?? Is it because I like to hear those kind of juicy stories?? Absolutely not!! But the advantage of coming to me is that I have sworn before God that I WILL NOT share that information with ANYONE. If you need help in going to that person and confronting the sin, I will help with that too. I will lead you in prayer and I will counsel you with God’s Word to Forgive that person.
Let me make something perfectly clear though. If someone has committed a crime in the process of hurting you, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell the proper authorities about it. For instance, if a man rapes a woman or abuses his wife or children, it should be reported. The rest of society needs to be protected from that person. By reporting it and testifying in court doesn’t mean that you haven’t Totally Forgiven them. But lets face it... the great majority of sins that people commit against us are not illegal. That doesn’t mean that they hurt any less. It just means that we have no business telling others about it.
One more thing while we’re on the subject. When God brings about that miracle in your heart, and you DO Totally Forgive someone... you don’t go rushing over to them and say, “I just want you to know that I have Totally Forgiven you.” I know, I know... that sounds like a GOOD thing to do. But in many of our situations where we need to Forgive... the other person doesn’t have the slightest clue that they’ve offended you! You may think they OUGHT to... but they don’t. Just try to imagine how many times YOU have hurt others without even knowing it!! In fact, quite often the other person that you want to declare Forgiveness to, might be thinking that you offended them!! The truth is... you BOTH need to Totally Forgive EACH OTHER!!
Even if it was one-sided and that person KNOWS what they’ve done... you, going to them, and saying “I Forgive you” may very well make them feel like you’re rubbing their nose in it. Do you remember what Joseph did?? He modeled for us God’s Total Forgiveness. He Forgave his brothers long before they ever came to him... but it wasn’t the first thing out of his mouth when he saw them. The brothers brought it up to him!! Don’t get me wrong!! If a person is truly sorry for sinning against you... and they come and ask you to Forgive them... it is GOOD AND RIGHT to say, “I Forgive you.” But even if they don’t ask, you can SHOW them by your actions that you have Totally Forgiven them. And your actions might be the very thing that brings them to ask you to say those words. Then, it is your pleasant responsibility to say to them, “I have Forgiven you... juts like God has Forgiven me.”
Well, there’s plenty more that we can learn about Forgiveness. But we’ll stop here and pick it back up again next week. We’re going to look at some more of those hard questions that I know are going through your mind, like: “How can I Forgive someone who is dead or that I’ve lost track of?? Am I supposed to forgive someone who isn’t even sorry for their sin against me?? Does Total Forgiveness mean the same thing as Total reconciliation?? And lots more. In preparation for that, I’d like to once again encourage you to read the Bible passages I’ve listed for you in the Bulletin. And read over again the Bible Lessons that we heard today on Forgiveness. Ask God to teach you about Total Forgiveness from His Word. Then thank Him for the Total Forgiveness He has given to you through Jesus Christ, and ask Him to work that miracle in your heart towards others. May God our loving Father bless you with His peace that comes from receiving and sharing Total Forgiveness. Amen.
