It seems that over the past several months the media has had a heyday with the church. For some time you couldn’t turn on the television without hearing about some new development in the decay of the Catholic Church. More and more accusations have been made against priests around the area of sexual misconduct. Just recently the Episcopalian Church has been in the spotlight for the controversy of their new homosexual bishop. Every time I hear another story my heart breaks in two, not because I condone what is going on but because the eyes of the world are on the church and many are saying, “I told you that the church is nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.”
But here’s what’s even more frightening to me than any of these scandals that are in the eyes of the media. People don’t need to look to the misconduct of Catholic priests to find hypocrisy. They need not go any farther than their own local community and their own community churches. There’s a force that’s destroying the church that comes from within us, a force that has done as much if not more damage than any other problem the church has ever encountered. I’m talking about the inability of Christians to control their tongues. You may think that this issue pales in comparison to what’s going on in the Catholic Church, but I would say that due to the sheer magnitude of this problem that it poses just as serious of a threat to the Kingdom of God as any other problem. For across the country, around the world church members are some of the most skilled gossips. Church members are some of the cruelest, meanest people around. Tell me, if you were outside of the church and you saw people behave like we inside the church often do, if you heard people from within the church talking about each other and about their pastors the way church people do would you want to be a part of us?
One of the things I’ve learned over the past year of living here is that small towns can be cruel places. What we think is harmless gossip in fact is some of the cruelest talk that can occur. I should know. The Pastor and his/her family are always some of the most talked about people in town. Everyone watches them. Everyone talks about them, but just because that’s the norm doesn’t mean it’s right. For too long we as the church have a made a sport out of gossiping. People get together for the sole purpose of gossiping. The time has come for that to stop. If we as the church are to accomplish the things God desires of us then we must learn to control our tongues.
The havoc that the tongue can wreak is monumental! It is the tongue as we’ll learn today that can either build things up or tear them down. It is a beast that is too frequently out of control. As Christians we are admonished to tame that beast and rather than inflicting wounds use it to build the Kingdom of God.
Join me this morning as we seek to tame the beast within each of us and examine practical guidelines for controlling our tongues. Let us pray…
If you’re following along in the outline that’s in your bulletins this morning you’ll see that there are three truths about the tongue from James 3. The first truth is that the tongue is small but POWERFUL. The author of James begins chapter 3 by speaking of the power of the tongue. He says that if you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, in other words, if you could find someone who knew how to control his/her tongue at all times, who never said anything wrong, then you’d have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.
I don’t know about you, but my biggest mistakes are the ones I make with my mouth. They’re words that I say that I shouldn’t say or words that I don’t say that I should. 99% of the trouble that I find myself in, in the church, in life, and in my family is a result of this little instrument right here (point to tongue). This is an extremely powerful instrument. Just like the bit in the mouth of a horse that guides its entire body, or the small rudder on a large ship that directs the ship even in a powerful storm, so the tongue even though it’s a small part of our body is perhaps the most powerful part.
The second truth about our tongue that we find in this passage is found in verses 5b through 8. The author says: “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but NO ONE CAN TAME THE TONGUE - a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” The tongue is small but DANGEROUS!
As kids we used to respond to the insults and hurtful words of others with the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Whoever said that couldn’t have been more wrong! Broken bones heal much quicker than the wounds that are left by an out of control tongue. We’ve all been there. We’ve all been hurt by the words of others and we’ve all hurt others with our words. I don’t know about you but I’d rather have some come and slap me than to have some talk about me. I can get over the pain of the physical injury but it’s the pain that’s inflicted by the tongue which is hard to heal from.
The third truth about the tongue from James 3 is that it’s small but REVEALING. In verses 9-12 the author of James points out that just as fresh water doesn’t come from salt water, and olives don’t come from fig trees, so too blessings can not come from the same mouth that curses come from. It can’t be so. And do you know why? Listen to what Jesus had to say in Matthew 12: “the tree is known by its fruit!”
People know what’s in you by what comes out of you! If you claim to be a follower of Christ but the things that you do and the way that you talk doesn’t match that claim then you’re not fooling anyone. I can tell you what’s in your heart by listening to your speech. If you’re gossiping and tearing others down constantly then I know what’s in your heart. How? because Jesus said it’s obvious. A good heart will not produce bad fruit. The tongue has a way of revealing who we really are. It’s impossible to hide it.
I don’t think any of us would deny that we have problems with our tongues. Some of us struggle more than others, but each of us needs to find a way to tame that beast. Let me give you five steps to consider in this process: First, RETHINK YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH. We live in a country where we insist on our freedom of speech. You can’t tell me what to say or what not to say! I have my rights! I have the right to speak my mind! Sound familiar? It’s our constitutional right. It’s our God given right. Or is it? Do we have the right to speak at the expense of others? Do we have the right to speak even when our words may hurt the person who we are speaking to or about? Do we really have the right? The world says we do but as a follower of Jesus Christ I would beg to differ. If anyone had rights it was Jesus Christ but the scripture says that when he was persecuted when he was brought to stand trial rather than standing up for his rights and saying he had done nothing wrong, rather than calling ten thousand angels to destroy the world and set him free he “kept silent!” He surrendered his freedom of speech for you and me!
Paul says in Romans 12:2 that we are not to conform to the patterns of this world. The world says you have the right to speak your mind, but the Apostle Paul says that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Before you speak your mind consider this: has your mind been transformed? If it’s been changed to reflect God’s love for people then the things that come out of your mouth will be different. Rethink your “freedom of speech.”
The second guideline to taming this beast is to LEAD WITH YOUR EARS AND FOLLOW WITH YOUR TONGUE. James 1:19 says “be quick to listen and slow to speak.” How many of you have a problem with that? I know I do. I have a tendency to react to quickly. When I’m arguing with my wife I don’t always listen as well as I should and instead spout off without really hearing what she’s said. Do you ever find yourself in the same predicament? Oh what a difference it would make if we would all stop and spend more time listening and less time talking.
The third practical step I’d encourage you to take is to BITE YOUR TONGUE MORE OFTEN. When I worked in radio there was a button on the soundboard that allowed us to block out something that came across the air. For instance, if there was a caller on the air who were to use inappropriate language there was just enough delay time between the time I heard that person speak and the time that it was broadcast that I could hit that button and it would mute the language. I often wish we had delay buttons built into us. You know? When you get upset and you say something you shouldn’t you have a few seconds to mute it before the person to whom you’re speaking hears it! But it doesn’t work that way. Most of the time our problem isn’t that we don’t say enough but that we say too much. James 1:26 says that if you think you’re religious but you don’t bridle your tongue your religion is worthless. It’s not ok to always speak your mind. Sometimes it’s better to bite your tongue.
One of the wisest men I’ve ever met was an intern pastor at a Nazarene Church my parents attended and where we were married. This man said very little, but when he did speak you knew it was good. When he spoke people listened.
Jesus said in Matthew 12 that on the day of judgment we will have to give an account for every careless word we utter. That should make us think twice before we speak. How many careless words have you spoken this week?
The fourth principle to taming the beast is a crucial one for the life of the church: REFUSE TO TEAR OTHERS DOWN! The book of James tells us not to speak evil against one another, or in the Message translation not to “badmouth each other.” When we badmouth each other and disguise it as gossip and pretend that it’s ok to do the only people we’re fooling are ourselves. The Bible is very clear on the consequences of gossip. One day we will be held accountable for the words we’ve said. The fires that we set with our tongues James says come right from the pit of hell! I don’t know about you but I’m frightened of being used as an instrument of Satan to cause damage here on this earth. And the Word of God says that when you use your tongue to damage others your spreading that fire from Hell. Don’t be mistaken: you’ll be judged for that!
Finally, in light of the damage that our tongues do and in light of our need to tame them I want to encourage you to surrender your tongue. James 3:8 says that no one can tame the tongue. The truth is we can’t control our tongues. I don’t have the ability to tame my tongue and neither do you, the only way that we can use our tongues to build others up rather than tearing them down, and to build the kingdom of God rather than being used as a pawn of the Evil One to destroy that Kingdom is by surrendering our tongues to God. By saying, “Yes, I know I’ve got a problem.” “I’m sorry for hurting others and I want to use my tongue to give praise to God and build others up instead of doing any more damage.”
If you want to tame your tongue as I do then let me encourage you to think about some speech therapy. Before you speak something that may be harmful ask yourself these five questions:
First, IS IT TRUE? Is what you’re going to speak the truth? If not, STOP. If it is, second, IS IT NECESSARY? Jesus said you’re going to be judged for every careless word. Bite your tongue more often. There are so many things that we say that are not necessary. Third, IS IT BENEFICIAL? Is what you’re going to say going to build someone up or tear them down? Is going to do good or is going to hurt someone? Fourth, ask yourself, DO I HAVE PERMISSION TO SHARE IT? I’m sure you all know people who you consider friends who you can tell anything to, because you know it will stop there. But we also all know people who are the first to spread that news all over town. Before you speak think about what kind of friend you’re being. Finally, ask yourself, IS MY MOTIVE PURE? Why are you saying what you’re saying? Most of the time our gossip is for selfish purposes. We want something to talk about. We want others to think we’re important. Do you know that need you have to gossip, it comes from sin. Give it up.
As we close this morning I want to say one more thing: I know that we all struggle with our tongues to varying degrees. On a scale of 1 to 10 of severity whether you’re a 1 or a ten there’s something you can do about gossip. When you hear someone speak something about another person rather than listening stop them in their tracks and tell them that you don’t want to hear that. If you need to, remove yourself from that social situation so that you aren’t dragged into the middle of their sin. It’s time that we as Christians begin behaving as Christians. If we can get our tongues in line, if we can learn to not say what we shouldn’t say and say what we should the testimony that we’ll have to the world around us will be incredible! Will you rethink your freedom of speech, listen more, bite your tongue more, refuse to tear others down, and surrender your tongue to Jesus Christ? This is not some extra thing that God is requesting of us. This is a mandate for being a disciple. We have no choice! If we are to be his followers then we must behave like them, because if we don’t one day we’ll be held accountable.
