Introduction:
A time when I was very angry...
I. Let’s take a look at two types of anger scenarios:
A. One type is when we, are being petty
1. These are misunderstandings; someone has a bad tone of voice; someone takes their bad day out on us, someone messes with our pet peeves, or we don’t get our way.
2. Or even a disagreement…how dare you disagree with me!
B. The other type of anger is started by the more significant reasons
1. Someone has said something that has offended us, wronged, cheated us out of something special, stolen something, someone is constantly rude to us, or someone who doesn’t like us for any good reason
C. Which of these two types of anger is it OK for us to react to
1. Eph. 4:29-5:2
2. So neither type of anger of anger
a. Vv.31 of chapter 4…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice
b. Since it is a series, it could be read: get rid of all bitterness, get rid of all rage, get rid of all anger, get rid of all slander, get ride of all forms of malice, etc.
3. Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus states that we are to get rid of all anger from our—real or imagined—circumstances that we justify it with. We are to get rid of it
II. Anger hardly needs explaining this morning so let’s move on to what is the outcome of anger?
A. It use to be that having a hot temper was a bad thing
1. Brag about being a hothead
a. Democrats are angry at Republicans
b. teenagers are angry at parents
c. environmentalists are angry loggers
d. loggers are angry at environmentalists
2. The idea is that if your not angry, you are weak
3. I make the case, if you are not angry you are wise
B. The Bible states that anger only leads to evil
1. Turn to Ps 37:8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret (do not become irritated) —it leads only to evil
C. That is why we are to rid ourselves of anger: anger always works harder and stays longer than we want it to. With it, much sin is conceived. Anger never stays anger.
1. It is a springboard to evil
D. the root to all of the problems is right in the middle of the verse
1. Eph 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice
E. But anger WILL first mutate into one of two things…Anger will become one of two things on the left.
1. Leads to internal rage
2. Leads to internal bitterness
F. Those in turn lead to the external viruses know as…
1. External malice>>>> sounds like “I’ll show him”
a. . Vindictive…disposed to revenge
b. Cold shoulder
c. Silent treatment
d. Indifference
G. The biggest problem with the fruit of anger is that it ruin relationships
1. With family
2. With friends
3. Church members
4. Co-workers and everyone who is the recipient of these outcomes
H. There is an ancient Greek myth that tells how Hercules encountered a strange animal on a narrow road. He struck it with his club and passed on. Soon, however, the animal overtook him. Now three times as large at it was before, Hercules was seriously threatened by the animal and began to fight it with all his might. Each time he struck it, the animal grew larger and deadlier.
Pallas appeared to Hercules and warned him to stop. "The monster’s name is Strife," she said. "Let it alone and it will soon become as little as it was at first."
Strife really is a monster. And its ability to grow and prosper is rooted in anger.
I. DM talked to me
1. He admitted that person I was arguing with was wrong.
2. However, my anger had become the greater problem
a. the more I pleaded and tried to justify my action with him the worst it got
3. I had over reacted and it cost me
a. That is what anger does---mountains from mole hills
b. reputation
c. my boss
J. That is how it is in our lives…ILL. My friend Brow and me saying David
1. seen him a couple of times since then and our friendship is ruined
III. We know what anger is, and we have all seen the outcomes in our lives, but how do we “rid” ourselves of anger?
A. First by realizing where anger originates?
1. With us
a. they made me angry
b. no you made you angry—you decided to get angry
2. Pride
a. Someone has insulted me and I cannot stand for that
3. Someone is not reacting the way we think they should react
B. we “rid” ourselves of anger too by realizing when we are angry we are not having enough grace for others
1. Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
2. No grace for them…unless they come begging…then maybe
3. Grovel for me
C. we “rid” ourselves of anger by taking more control of ourselves and imitating Christ
1. Eph 5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children Eph 5:2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us
a. never respond to a situation that has made you anger while you are still steaming
b. Count to 10—let the Holy Spirit put words in your mouth
c. disciplining children while your angry
D. A big step is controlling the tongue
1. Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
a. when it gets out of line—make it pay
b. Apologize to people publicly—ILL. Roofer man at the dumpster at Eckerd
- wrestling with God
- had to take the open window…the man would be gone…and I would not be an imitator of God
E. The only person behavior we can control is our own
F. Ask God for wisdom in prayer to help us deal with anger
1. Pr 19:11 A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense
G. Realize that God may be allowing things to come up in our lives that make us angry—but should be making us look at ourselves and our lives instead—for our own personal growth
1. New boss
H. Attack it soon…deal with is as soon at it raises its ugly head
1. As a Christian…if we don’t derail anger as soon as it gets rolling down the tracks be are headed for an increased level of sin in our lives
2. Pr 29:22 An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.
F. Realizing that sometimes people may have a Godly motive Pat and the Avenue house
IV. What is the benefit of riding our lives of anger?
A. Will be obeying the Word of God
B. Helps to bring about Godly character in our lives
1. Turn to Jas 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, Jas 1:20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
2. Mental well-being
Many, many problems start out as a small pocket of anger…then turn to things we cannot put right
Conclusion:
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won’t matter how many times you say ’I’m sorry,’ the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
