What’s Church all about? Ephesians Series
EPHESIANS 5:21-6:9
NEW RELATIONSHIPS
Paul has gone from what the church is to what we should be.
In the church, our relationships should be greatly different than they were before we met Jesus.
Verse 21: Submit to one another
Submission is a bad word in our society
we make heroes of people who won’t submit to anyone’s authority, You never hear Mel Gibson, or Arnold Schwartseneger or Sigourney Weaver talking about submission, unless it is beating the bad guys into submission.
The motto for our age it outplay, outwit, outlast, not submit
It is not too surprising that God’s values look upside down from the world’s perspective.
Lets look at God’s perspective, and his call on our lives.
What Submission is not
Christian Submission is not about being a Doormat
Paul, who writes this passage deals harshly with both secular authorities and with Christian brothers and sisters when they overstep their bounds and treat him as less than he is.
The Submission that Paul is calling us to is a mutual submission – not one where there is one person in submission, and another in authority, but that we would submit to each other.
Christian Submission is not about over-the-top politeness like those two chipmunks in the cartoons who say, “no, no, no, after you,” “no, I insist after you,”
It is not the abdication of responsibility or authority so we get know where and no decisions get made because we are so worried about stepping on each others toes.
Christian Submission is not about the lowest common denominator.
Canadian & American worms joke
Christian submission doesn’t say, “I’m not going to use my God given gifts, because I might make someone else look bad”
There in a sense in the term of submission of coming under the other person, not to be held down by them, but to lift them up!
What Submission is
Definition - a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".
"put others first" - Contemporary English Version
Instead of looking out for ourselves, we are to be looking out for everyone else, and they are to look out for us.
Christian Submission flows out of Strength, not weakness.
Jesus is our example in this. John 13:3-5
“Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.”
If I suddenly had the divine revelation that Jesus did – all things under my feet, I think I would like to try it out! Not take up the lowliest servant’s job! But because of Jesus’ place of strength, he is able to serve – to subject himself to his own disciples; not as a weak person beaten into submission, but as the strongest person in the universe, choosing to submit.
Philippians 2:6-7
“(Jesus)Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.”
We too come from a place of strength – Ephesians 1:3 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.”
We respond to that strength, not by taking up any high handed authority, but by submitting to each other.
Christian Submission must come in Relationship
Without knowing each other, knowing the heart’s desire, talking things through with each other, there can be no mutual submission – one will always just be giving in to the will of the other. That is why we need face to face relationships with other Christians – in small groups and close friendships, so that we can obey God’s commands!
Christian Submission is about Sacrifice
Just because submission is not about all these bad things doesn’t mean that it is easy – if it is working it should hurt.
John 15:12-13
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
Laying down one’s life is not just about dying it is about giving up what we hold dear because our friend is even more dear to us.
- giving up preferences, honor, possessions… laying down our living lives for each other!
Christian Submission is about Honor
Romans 12:10 “love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.” - NRSV
We are to be a people who lift each other up, not knock each other down.
Christian Submission flows from the filling of the Spirit
First Grammar Lesson. – verse 21 is deeply connected to the command in verse 18 “do not get drunk on wine which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit” The rest of the verbs are participles – “ing” verbs
– Be filled with the Spirit, speaking in psalms, hymns, & spiritual songs, singing and making music, giving thanks, submitting to each other…
Our Submission to each other is an outworking of the Spirit’s filling of our lives. If someone likes to call themselves a “Spirit-filled” Christian but cannot submit to others because of pride or rebellion, I want to question their adjective!
As this is connected to the filling of the Spirit, we cannot do it without the grace of God flowing through our whole being.
Key words - "out of reverence for Christ"
Just as you have submitted to Christ, submit to each other.
Examples:
Second Grammar Lesson:
Grammar factors a great deal in how we understand things. Take 4:28 for instance. If you place the comma in a different spot, it reads “Those who have been stealing must steal, no longer must they work doing something useful with their hands.”
When Paul originally wrote this there were no periods, commas, no verses, no paragraphs, and certainly no section headings. These have been added to aid in our understanding as readers of modern English and not ancient Greek.
The paragraph breaks are mostly well thought out and useful, but splitting the paragraph between verse 21 and 22 is just wrong, and putting a new section heading before 22 gets my goat like almost nothing else in our faith.
This letter was originally written in Greek, and Greek is a very economical language. If one sentence has the same verb as the preceding sentence, they feel no need to repeat the verb, they just borrow it from the preceding sentence.
So a closer translation of these two verses would read “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ: wives to your husbands.”
Verse 21 is the over-arching principle to all of Paul’s command for wives and husbands, children and parents and slaves and masters. To leave it out of the section, and just as a tag-on to the preceding passage is wrong and misleading. Reading verses 22-24 outside of the context of verse 21 has caused great pain to Christian marriages throughout the centuries.
Wives submit to your husband
Submit to one another (Wives, this means your husbands too!)
Especially so because of the relationship that marriage has to the relationship between Christ and the church.
- put them first
Be subject as to the Lord
- treat them as you would Jesus
- doesn’t imply that husbands are better than wives, in Matthew 25 we are told to treat the poor and destitute as if they are Jesus.
This passage has been used to keep women in very abusive relationships. Physical, emotional, verbal abuse is sin, and we are not called to submit to each other’s sin – we are called to be full of mercy, grace, and we are called to forgive each other, but not to submit to their sin.
Submit "Because the husband is the head of the wife"
Biblical headship is not the same as worldly, authoritarian headship
"As Christ is the head of the Church"
- Christ’s example
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15 NIV)
Husbands submit to your wife – John 15:12-13
9 verses for husbands as compared with 3 for wives, yet these verses have been greatly ignored.
- does not say "be in authority over your wife"
25) Love your wife - not a command for warm, affectionate feelings, but a command to act in loving ways - be patient, kind, forgiving: don’t be envious, or boastful, or proud, or rude, or self-seeking, or easily angered: always protect your wife, always trust, always hope, always persevere.
– if nothing else, do the dishes
more than that, - "to love as Christ loved you"
25 b) Sacrifice - Just as Christ died for you, you are to give of yourself to your wife. Spend yourself on behalf of your wife. Giving up yourself…
26-27) In order to allow her to be the best
It should be the goal of the husband for his wife to be the best person that she could ever be - this is completely opposite to an authoritarian "keeping her in her place".
What this means is that we husbands make sacrifices for our wives, that we affirm them in what God has called them to do, that we support them with encouragement and the resources needed to be fulfilled people. We lift them up, not hold them down.
9 cow wife story if time allows
Paul Stevens - "How can I be head over you if we make all our decisions together?"
Wife - "That’s exactly why I am able to submit to you!"
Children submit to your parents 6:1-4
Obey your parents
Because it is right - part of 10 commandments
Because it has definite benefits - good long life
Parents submit to your children 6:4
- not give in, but look out for their best interest
Don’t provoke children to anger - by pettiness, by inconstancy, by requiring far to much.
Instead, discipline must be consistent, and fair, and you must teach them to love God.
6:5-9
Employees submit to your employers – best analogy we can make for today’s time
Act as if your boss is Jesus, so when he or she asks you to do something, do it out of thanksgiving for what Jesus has done for you.
Employers submit to your employers
Act as if you had Jesus in you employ - if we did this we would have no need for unions.
Conclusion
Our world has some pretty messed up ideas about what leadership and submission is, and yet we are called to submit to each other. - not submit like a spanked puppy, but, because of our freedom in Christ, we are to serve each other, and look out for each other’s best interest.
This has practical implications for all our relationships in the family, and in the work place.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
This flows out of our being filled with the Spirit. If you are saying this is way too hard, you are right – we need the Spirit!
Pray for the filling of the Spirit.
