Making A Masterpiece Marriage Series (2 of 3)
"Creating a Passionate Marriage"
February 9, 2003 FBC, Chester, IL Mike Fogerson, Speaker
Introduction:
Once upon a time, in the region of Lebanon in the near east, there was a girl by the name of "Cindy."
A Her father, who owned a large vineyard, had died when she was just seven. Leaving the vineyard to her 3 older brothers, her mother and her.
a The brothers stayed drunk most of the day and harassed her as she labored in the fields. (Made fun of her dark suntan, skinny legs and callused hands)
b She dare not let them see her cry, for they would be even more merciless.
(Mother couldn’t help here either)
B She would go to bed every night, crying herself to sleep to the sound of her 3 brothers snoring in a drunken stupor and her mother tossing and turning in the next room.
a One day she was pruning the vines, tying some up so they would be eaten by animals or rot in the early morning rains of Lebanon, when she noticed a young, handsome man standing at the end of the row. (She didn’t make eye contact...maybe he’d go away.) He didn’t. After 15 minutes of him starring at her she starred back.
"The young lily has noticed me." The young man announced.
"Me? I’ve spent to much time in the sun, I’m much darker than any girl in this area." she said.
*"You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Let me take a closer look."
SS 1:15 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.
*My, my you are sweet with words, I haven’t seen you around here before. Who are you? "You don’t know who I am? Surely you must have seen me around here? Let’s just say, I’m a shepherd lad. Can I see you here tomorrow, at about this same time?" "Oh, yes, I’m not going anywhere. My work keeps me chained to this vineyard."
b The next day as "Cindy" was working, the shepherd lad helped her finish her work and then he said, "I have a surprise for you." He led her over a knoll where there was a beautiful meal spread out for them on a fine blanket beside a brook flowing gently, just under the largest cedar tree on the property.
*During the dinner the lad asked "I’d like to speak to your father Cindy." Indicating he wanted to set up a marriage agreement with her father. He’s dead. Can I talk to your mother? I’m afraid my brothers will have more say in this matter. They won’t want to lose my labor. "I see, I think I know how to handle them. Just leave it all to me." (Cindy was skeptical, but if anyone could handle her brothers, it was this young man.)
*"I’ve got to go away for a while, will you wait on me? " "Yes, but don’t be long. I don’t think I can stand to be separated from you." "I will be back soon, until then, I will think only of your lovely face."
(Cindy was so excited. One day she was laborer in the fields, the next, an engaged woman anticipating escape from the tyranny of her brothers.)
C Weeks went by and she heard nothing from the Shepard lad, her mother/brothers said nothing about an engagement. (Every thought of Cindy’s was for her love.)
a Occasionally her dreams turned dark,
SS 3:1 All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him. 2 I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him.
b Weeks and months passed. Doubts increased. Maybe The Shepard boy had forgotten her. Maybe he’d found another and decided not to marry Cindy after all. She just knew he’d come back.
*One day she was working in the vineyard when the neighbor girl said over the fence, "The king is coming! The king is coming! SS 3:7 Look! It is Solomon’s carriage,
escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of Israel, 8 all of them wearing the sword, all experienced in battle, each with his sword at his side, prepared for the terrors of the night. 9 King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he made it of wood from Lebanon. 10 Its posts he made of silver, Its base of gold. Its seat was upholstered with purple, its interior lovingly inlaid by the daughters of Jerusalem.
*The girl took Cindy by the arm and went to the processional. Cindy watched in awe as the soldiers marched by her, two by two with their beautiful uniforms and razor sharp swords. Then she heard a command to "Halt" and the royal carriage stopped in front of her.
*A face popped out of the window, and with a sly smile the king looked into Cindy’s eyes and said, "SS 4:1 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! SS 2:10 My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me."
D The next few hours were a blur. (There were lavish gifts for her and her family. The marriage celebration was greater than any dream she could ever dream.)
a Later that night, after the celebration, it was just she and her husband king in the king’s chamber, "He reached for her and whispered in her ear... SS 4:3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely.." She blushed, and continued, "SS 4:9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.
b He put a necklace around her neck and said, "SS 4:12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.."
*Poetry poured from her lips, "SS 4:16 Awake, north wind, and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits."
*With those words the king blew out the candles and led her to his bed.
E Their love rarely ever waned, but Cindy couldn’t forget her vineyard. She longed to see the farm, smell the earth, the smell of the blossoms when they opened on the vine. She wanted to go back.
a SS 7:12 Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom-- there I will give you my love.
b The king couldn’t resist. With a huge entourage, the couple returned to the site of their engagement, he embraced in the fields of your youth SS 8:3 His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me.
*Cindy put her head on the king’s chest and silently said, "SS 8:6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.
The lived happily ever after.....
This is a fictionalized account of Solomon and a Shulamite woman based on the non-fictional literature found in the Song of Songs (Solomon.) I gave the girl the name "Cindy", Short of Cinderella.
A The Song of Songs almost didn’t make into the Bible. (The name God isn’t mentioned ONE time in the entire 8 chapters!!!)
a The most erotic literature in the Bible. Ancient times, Rabbie’s forbid any man under the age of 30 to read the text for fear of the emotions/passion it brings up.
b It got into the biblical cannon because it’s thought that the story is an allagory of God’s intense passionate love for his people (Israel/Church).
*ETS: Solomon had a passionate love for his wife. (God was blessed by that!)
*ESS: Our marriages bless God when passion is present.
B What are you doing to make your marriage passionate? (PQ)
a I hope you’ll recommit yourself to pursuing the passion in your marriage. (Objective)
b Let’s look at two passion pointers that can help us pursue passion. (T.S.)
I Lasting passion is reserved ONLY for marriage.
(If you’re married, congratulations. You are eligible to enjoy one of the greatest blessings you can experience this side of heaven.)
A Our world doesn’t quit see "passion" in the way God does.
(From 1970 to 91, the federal government spent $2 billion to promote condom usage and safe sex. 1992, the fed. gov. spent $450 million on safe sex/condom campaign and only $8 million dollars was spent on abstinence programs.)
a Our world says.....
Premarital sex is okay.
Extra-marital sex is okay.
If your married, but not happy.......okay to cheat
If your married but you’ve married the wrong person....okay to cheat
If your married, but you’ve met the love of your life...okay to cheat
THAT MAY BE OKAY TO THE WORLD. IT’S NOT OKAY TO THE KINGDOM OF GOD
b Some Christians get fooled into thinking thy can be attracted to someone, but as long as they didn’t get romantically/physically involved, they are staying faithful.
*MT 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.’ [28] But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
*Adultery is a matter of the HEART. (Causes just as much pain, grief, breach of trust as a physical encounter. I promise!!!)
B 1CO 7:1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. [2] But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. [3] The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. [4] The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. [5] Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control...........8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. [9] But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
a Sex is for the marriage and the marriage only.
(Any physical/romantic outside of the marriage is going against God’s plan)
*January 26, 1998 President Clinton said, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."
*Regardless what type of contact he had with Ms. Lewinsky, it was a sexual relationship outside of his marriage.
HEB 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
b PASSION outside of the holy union of a man and woman is wrong..dishonors God...sin.
*If you want passion/intimacy..it’s found in YOUR marriage.
(It’s the only place God has put lasting passion.)
II Partnership breeds passion.
A Although in our opening story, Cindy and Her king lived happily ever after...the real King Solomon and the Shulamite woman didn’t.
a Solomon took on 700 wives, 300 concubines later in his life.
(Some commentators believe that these were for political purposes, displays of his wealth and power.)
b Listen to the cynicism, hopelessness, misery, depression in King Solomon’s writings near the end of his life.
ECC 2:1 I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. [2] "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?"...[8b]..I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well--the delights of the heart of man. [10] I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. 11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
*God had allowed Solomon to everything he ever wanted, including unlimited sexual pleasure....he was unfulfilled.
*He was at his happiest, most passionate when he was in a monogamous marriage/partnership with the dark tanned Shulamite woman of his youth.
B You & I will know no greater love than God’s love for us.
a God’s love for us .....
Has power....
Was initiated by Him. (I have chosen you.)
Is unconditional (No IFS)
makes Him eager to restore us when we drift away. (Father of the prodigal son)
prevents him from ever giving up on us. (He’s waiting to return)
is proven by the sacrifice of his Son on our behalf.
He loves us completely. (You can’t do anything to make God love you any more/less.)
When we enter into a loving relationship/partnership with God, we discover this prolific passion that is supplied by the lover of your soul.
b Who wants to be loved by their spouse like that?
Compare your love for your spouse up against God’s love? Shallow.
Ask God to make your marriage of "we" a marriage of "three."
What God is telling us through Song of Solomon is passion is found in the partnership of marriage.
CONCLUSION:
Harley Sheffield gained celebrity status through an unusual mishap. He was part of the fifteen thousand-mile relay that carried the Olympic torch to the one hundreth gathering of the games in Atlanta. His section of the relay went over the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington on May 7, 1996. While carrying the flame in a special stand on his bicycle, the rear tire blew out, Sheffield lost control of his bike, and the Olympic flame went out. People gasped in disbelief, but the attenders of the torch knew exactly what to do. They simply reached into the van that accompanied the traveling torch, pulled out a new torch and lighted it from the "mother flame" which always stays in the van. The procession continued and Sheffield earned a spot on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. What happened on that Washington bridge happens all of the time in our Christian pilgrimage. We stumble and the flame of spiritual zeal is dowsed. We stare at the extinguished torch and wonder if we can ever again burn with spiritual passion. When we turn in repentance we find that the Holy Spirit has been with us all of the time and he carries the "mother flame" that can never go out. Our zeal can be reignited and the standard of Christ can once again burn brightly in our lives.
***Notice: I have used Sermon Central sermons for a very long time. If this or any of my sermons are similar to a sermon that is currently already on Sermon Central by another pastor or teacher.....chances are I have used it. Actually, there is probably absolutely nothing in this sermon that hasn’t been preached before! If I used your sermon and haven’t given you credit, please write me and I’ll give you credit by name. I have in no way intentionally withheld credit to any work I’ve used/borrowed from. PLEASE NOTE THAT IF I HAVE "USED" YOUR WORK IT WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU HAD A SUPER SERMON! I prefer to preach with an outline and just rearranged your sermon. My intent is to make sermons relevant and easy for outline guys to use. If you use MY work, feel free to claim it. I do not care!!! Simply realize that I have borrowed from other preachers, too.
Mike Fogerson, Pastor, Chester’s First Baptist Church
