BITTER BONES AND ANGRY EYEBROWS
EPHESIANS 4:30-32
INTRODUCTION… E. Stanley Jones, Reader’s Digest, December 1981
A rattlesnake, if cornered, will sometimes become so angry it will bite itself. That is exactly what the harboring of hate and resentment against others is—a biting of oneself. We think that we are harming others in holding these spites and hates, but the deeper harm is to ourselves.
I. BIBLICAL NARRATIVES
I want us to get a good handle on bitterness and anger and I can think of no better way than to look at some Biblical examples of these two emotions. We’ll look briefly at three Biblical narratives and the place that bitterness and anger played in them.
RUTH CHAPTER 1 à 1:20-21
Ruth Chapter 1 begins the wonderful story of loss and redemption in the life of one woman named Ruth. Chapter 1 begins by telling us that there was a famine in the land and a man named Elimelech took his wife and two sons out of Israel to a land with food. While there, his two sons married. Life was good. It was good until about the tenth year. Her husband died. Her two sons died. We don’t really know the reason and I suppose it really does not matter—this woman, we know her as Naomi, had lost the three most important people in her life. Death had claimed those she loved.
Naomi was blessed in some ways because she had two daughters-in-law. Unfortunately in this day and age, to own land or have a job, a person must have been of the male gender and having two more women in her life really didn’t help much. Her entire life fell apart. She was in a foreign country, her family was dead, and now the time had come to return home. She returns home with Ruth, the one daughter-in-law who pledged to be by her side. The whole town welcomed and was stirred by their return. What did Naomi say?
READ RUTH 1:20-21
1. Naomi says that her life is very bitter
2. She blames God for her circumstances
3. She feels there is no goodness, only misfortune in her life
1 SAMUEL CHAPTER 1 à 1:10-15
Our second Biblical narrative also focuses on a woman and her name is Hannah. 1 Samuel chapter 1 records that she is a woman caught in a tough situation. She is one of two wives in a relationship with a man who by all accounts is a good and godly man. He is a wonderful and supportive husband. Verse 2 tells us that the other wife had children year after year and was a virtual baby factory and yet, Hannah had no children. Not only that, but the “rival wife” would taunt her and irritate her. This situation went on year after year after year.
Hannah was trapped. Children surrounded her, yet none of them were her own. She had to deal with this other woman on a daily basis. The situation did not improve as time went on. One year, while the family worshipped, Hannah must have just hit rock bottom and she began to pray to the Lord. What did she pray?
READ 1 SAMUEL 1:10-15
1. Hannah was bitter down to her soul
2. I would add that she perhaps is angry about her situation
3. She feels that God can save her if He is willing
1 SAMUEL CHAPTERS 18-19 à 18:6-11
Chapters 18 and 19 give us the beginning of the end for the first King of Israel. His name was Saul and he was chosen as the first King, though he is never cast in a good light. King Saul allowed a young man named David to fight the Philistines and gave him task after task, which he did well. David prospered in everything that he attempted to do. The situation was becoming unbearable for Saul. This man David was becoming popular and a hero. What did Saul do?
READ 1 SAMUEL 18:6-11
1. Saul became so angry that it turned to bitterness
2. Other negative emotions started to torment Saul
3. Saul took action to kill David
II. BITTERNESS AND ANGER
We are all familiar with emotions, but they are sometimes difficult to define. Emotions deal with that feeling part of life and are also connecting with the thinking part of life (since thinking some thoughts produces positive or negative emotions). Americans are very feeling-oriented people… wouldn’t you agree? I saw a Diet Coke commercial the other day that had a slogan: “If it feels good, do it.” Many times it is feelings that lead us into certain jobs or even marriages. Feelings change… and so do our jobs and our marriage partners (Meier and Minirth: Introduction to Psychology and Counseling, pg 73). We come to church only when we feel like it. We pray only when we feel we need to. Many times our lives are driven and controlled by our emotions and their effects on our lives.
We are concerned this morning with certain emotions. We are concerned with bitterness and anger, which when I look at them seem like the same thing. Bitterness is just anger over a long period of time that has been allowed to grow. The word bitterness in the Bible comes from a word that means “bitter gall, a bitter root that produces bitter fruit.” Anger comes from a word that means “agitation of the soul, a violent emotion, wrath.” The thing about emotions is that they also affect your body, especially anger and bitterness. Muscle tension, heart racing, blood pressure, loss of sleep, blood sugar, nausea, diarrhea, and other digestive malfunctions are associated with these emotions. These negative emotions creep into every aspect of our lives and they change us.
I guess there’s not really much to say about bitterness and anger other than: are you bitter or angry? Is there a situation in your life that has made you bitter? Maybe its family. Family issues and relationships seem to bring out the worst emotions in us. Is a key relationship in your family full of bitterness? Maybe its work related. Nothing can ruin your day faster or more completely than a job you hate. Whatever it is, are you dealing with anger and bitterness? Perhaps the better question is: how do we deal with bitterness and anger?
III. DEALING WITH BITTERNESS AND ANGER (Ephesians 4:30-32)
The Bible is our guide in this life? Do you believe that statement? I hope that you do. No other self-help book or guru journal will help you in this life like the Holy Word of God. Forget all the psycho-babble you have ever heard… we are going to look at God’s remedy for bitterness and anger. He ought to know how to deal with these, after all, He created the human being including the emotions. What does God say?
I would like to direct you to Ephesians 4:30-32. Paul is instructing us on how not to grieve God. One of the things that grieves the Spirit of God inside us is when we hold on to these negative emotions and allow them to dictate our actions and words. Verse 31 commands us; this is not a suggestion, to rid ourselves of bitterness, rage, anger, fighting, slander, and malice. That pretty much covers it doesn’t it? Yet, how do we do that?
Verse 32 tells us in the plainest terms possible how to get rid of bitterness and anger. I read this verse and came up with a three word summary: “Let it go.” If you want to be free from bitterness, “let it go.” That three word phrase is another way of saying forgive. Start showing kindness and compassion to that person you hate and will begin to see your bitter root dry up. The reason we have bitterness in our lives is that we choose to hang onto it though the years. Paul commands us: “let it go.”
ILLUSTRATION… Dr. Anthony T. Evans, Guiding Your Family in a Misguided World.
One day, two monks were walking through the countryside. They were on their way to another village to help bring in the crops. As they walked, they spied an old woman sitting at the edge of a river. She was upset because there was no bridge, and she could not get across on her own. The first monk kindly offered, "We will carry you across if you would like." "Thank you," she said gratefully, accepting their help. So the two men joined hands, lifted her between them and carried her across the river. When they got to the other side, they set her down, and she went on her way.
After they had walked another mile or so, the second monk began to complain. "Look at my clothes," he said. "They are filthy from carrying that woman across the river. And my back still hurts from lifting her. I can feel it getting stiff." The first monk just smiled and nodded his head.
A few more miles up the road, the second monk griped again, "My back is hurting me so badly, and it is all because we had to carry that silly woman across the river! I cannot go any farther because of the pain." The first monk looked down at his partner, now lying on the ground, moaning. "Have you wondered why I am not complaining?" he asked. "Your back hurts because you are still carrying the woman. But I set her down five miles ago."
That is what many of us are like in dealing with our families. We are that second monk who cannot let go. We hold the pain of the past over our loved ones’ heads like a club, or we remind them every once in a while, when we want to get the upper hand, of the burden we still carry because of something they did years ago.
CONCLUSION
1. The story of Naomi and Ruth ends with the salvation of their family by a family-redeemer. Naomi sees the birth of a grandson named Obed who was the father of a man named Jesse who was the father of King David.
2. Hannah was able to pour out her bitterness to the Lord and she in fact conceived a son and dedicated him to the Lord. His name was Samuel and he was one of the greatest prophets in the history of Israel.
3. Saul, was unable to let his bitterness and anger go, and he died a sad bitter man.
PRAYER FOR THE RELEASE OF BITTERNESS
PRAYER FOR THE RELEASE OF ANGER
PRAYER FOR THE RELEASE OF OTHER NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
