Dropping Rocks
How to Accept Others
6/25/03
I. Introduction
While waiting at the airport terminal for her plane to begin boarding, a woman sat reading a newspaper. Earlier, she had purchased a package of cookies in the airport snack shop to eat after she got on the plane. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that the man sitting next to her was eating a cookie. She looked down and noticed that her package of cookies had been opened and the man was eating them.
The woman couldn’t believe that the man would have such nerve as to eat her cookies. So that she wouldn’t lose all of her cookies to the man, she slowly reached over, took a cookie, and ate one herself. To her amazement, the man continued to eat more cookies. Getting more and more irritated, the woman removed all but one cookie from the package and ate them.
At that point, the man reached down and took the last cookie. Before eating it, though, he broke it in half and left half of the cookie for the woman. This made the woman so angry, she grabbed the empty package with the half cookie and crammed it in her purse.
Then, to her shock, she noticed that there in her purse was her unopened package of cookies.
Tonight we’re going to talk about “Dropping Rocks, How to Accept Others.” You see, sometimes we find it so easy to judge others, or cast the blame on somebody else, when the cold hard truth is that God wants us to accept others and love them for who they are. So, I want you to see four truths tonight that are going to put you on your way to being a better accepter. Let’s dig in. The first thing you need to do to accept others is open up.
II. Open Up
2 Corinthians 6:11-13 “11Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. 12We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. 13I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!”
Paul had ministered to the Corinthians and he had been very open to them, sharing his thoughts and his life with them. But they hadn’t been quite as open to Paul. They kept secrets, they didn’t tell him completely what had been going on in their church. Paul notices and what’s his advice? OPEN UP! And we can take that same advice today.
It may not mean laying all our cards on the table and telling everybody everything, but it does mean, don’t shut anybody out. If a door is closed, no one can get in unless it is opened. Get Real is a door. It’s a door with only one handle. And that handle is on the inside. The door can only be opened from the inside, and unless it is opened, no one can get in. So, to accept others, first means you have to let them in.
We have to open up our “circle” and accept others. What does it mean to accept others?
Accept in this connotation means to receive willingly, or give admittance or approval to. Accept means to allow others to come into our group and shower them with love and affection. Do you remember the “amoeba” from a few weeks ago? An amoeba is basically a blob that absorbs anything it comes in contact with. And if our youth group is a good “amoeba,” it will absorb anybody into the group, and we’re not just talking about visitors. We’re talking about anybody that’s already a part of Get Real. Every piece will fit into the puzzle. Every person should be accepted by everyone else. Right now, people even in this room may feel like they’ve been shut out. But this can’t be. We have to Open Up and be willing to receive everybody. Ok, so once you Open Up, people can come in the door. The next thing you have to do to accept others is Don’t Be Hatin’. It’s really easy to find a fault in somebody. It’s a bit harder to look past the fault and love them anyway.
III. Don’t Be Hatin’
Matthew 7:1-5 “1"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. 2For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. 3And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4How can you think of saying, `Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”
Jesus said essentially, “Don’t be hatin’.” How can you say to somebody else, “Man, your breath is kickin’ like a 4-legged Bruce Lee,” when all the Listerine in the world couldn’t kill the germs in your mouth? Don’t be hatin’.
You’ve heard the phrase “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” And that’s true, you can’t honestly know everything about a person by what they look like on the outside. If any of you watched American Idol, you know what I’m talking about. The first time you saw Clay Aiken, you’d immediately think, “What a geek!” but the kid sang like an angel. Or if you looked at Ruben Studdard, you’d just see some guy that’s watched too many episodes of “Fat Albert,” but he won the whole shebang.
It’s easy to look at somebody, see something you don’t like and turn and walk away. Isn’t it? This is real, isn’t it? When I used to date, I’d go out with a girl until I found something wrong with her. For one, it might be that she talked too much. For another, it could be that her breath stunk. For yet another, I found out that she couldn’t kiss. And for others, I wouldn’t even think about going out with them because they “weren’t my type,” otherwise meaning, “I’m not attracted to them.” But although I wouldn’t necessarily “date” certain girls, that doesn’t mean I have to hate their guts and never hang around with them and not be their friend. But for me, it was easy to find a fault in the girls I’d date, and even easier to find fault in girls I wouldn’t date. But the tough thing is looking past somebody’s faults and accepting them no matter what. When I met Kristen and started dating her, I just knew she didn’t have any faults. But the more you get to know someone, those faults just automatically show up. She’s got a few, and I have enough for both of us. But it takes a real commitment to look past those faults and love me anyway.
And if your commitment to Christ is anywhere near where it should be, you’ll accept others no matter what they look like on the outside, no matter what kind of moles or birthmarks they have; it doesn’t matter how they fix their hair or even if they don’t have any hair. It doesn’t matter if they pick their nose or use a Kleenex, you can accept people for who they are.
So, the first key is Open Up. The second key is Don’t Be Hatin’. The third key is Drop Your Weapon. We’ve just spent a good amount of time here talking about how easy it is to judge others, and you may have gone that far. But before you do anything drastic, drop your weapon.
IV. Drop Your Weapon
John 8:2-9 “2Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. 3Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4they said to Him, "Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. 5Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?" 6This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
7So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first." 8And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.”
So the Pharisees catch this woman in the act of adultery. Now, how exactly do you “catch” somebody in the act of adultery? Can we say “peeping?” Yeah. That’s exactly what happened. I picture two of the rookie Pharisees being sent out to catch somebody doing something bad so they can test Jesus. So here they are going from house to house, and one is lifting the other up over the fence to see what’s going on. Then he sees it. So he covers his face and says, “Wow, you have GOT to see this!” And after a few minutes of “Spyvision” TV, these Pharisees break up the party and bring out the woman. Well, what happened to the man? Who was the man? Could he have been a Pharisee? Maybe, it’s likely, that may have been why he wasn’t even mentioned.
So they bring this woman out, who’s embarrassed to say the least because she’s probably half-naked, if not completely naked, and they make her stand here in the middle of the city. They say, “The law says stone this woman,” at which point we hear roars and screams of the crowd and they all pick up a rock, “but what do you say, Jesus?”
Jesus starts doodling in the dirt. And they keep pestering him about this woman. So he says, “Whoever is without sin, he can throw the first rock.” Then he kneels down and plays in the dirt some more. This time, I think he’s probably writing some of the sins of the Pharisees. Well, all of a sudden, we hear “Thud.” Then another “thud,” “thud, thud thud, thud,” as all the people around are dropping rocks and walking away, until no one is left but Jesus and the woman.
The Pharisees had all decided that it was their job to punish the sinner, the one who was just found at fault. They were ready as ever to throw rocks at her until she was dead. But once they were reminded that not one of them was perfect, they quickly dropped their weapons. They dropped their weapons. Before you even think about condemning anyone else, look at yourself and then drop your weapon.
Open Up. Don’t Be Hatin’. Drop Your Weapon. The fourth key to accepting others is Show A Little Grace.
V. Show A Little Grace
John 8:10-11 “10When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, "Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?"
11She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."”
Jesus was the only one that could have legitimately thrown a rock at her. He said the one without sin can throw the first rock. Well, he was the only one that fit that description. Yet, what did he do? Did he stand up and stick his finger in her face and give her the “What were you thinking” lecture? Did he grab a rock and say, “Oh yeah, you’re gonna die for that.” No, he said, “Where’d everybody go? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “Nobody.” Then he says, “Well, neither do I. Go and don’t sin anymore.”
Now, that’s grace. When the law called for death, Jesus gave life. When everybody said die, Jesus showed grace. He gave her something she didn’t deserve. And you know what, some people you may think deserve to be made fun of because they didn’t know the answer to the most obvious question. Some people you may think deserve to be hit in the back of the head because they laughed at you when you weren’t trying to be funny. Some people you may think deserve to be cussed out because they cut you off in traffic. But try this, show a little grace.
You may think your little brother deserves a noogie for stealing your hairbrush and flushing your lipstick down the toilet. You might think your little sister deserves to have her dolls stolen because they embarrassed you when you were on the phone with your sweetie. But try this, show a little grace. Give them something you don’t think they deserve. Give them grace. Instead of making fun of somebody, instead of hitting him in the head, instead of cussing her out, instead of giving a noogie, instead of stealing dolls, show a little grace by saying, “You know what, I love you, please don’t do that again.”
People need grace. You and I need grace. The reality is that God has shown us grace time and time again. You and I have messed up more times than we can count on our hands and our feet, yet God forgives us every time. He never condemns us. His word says in Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” That means he looks past our faults and sees our need. He’s seen our need for acceptance. He’s accepted us and shown us more than a little grace, the least we can do is show grace to others.
VI. Conclusion
In a world where rejection is the majority, let’s reverse the standard and offer an atmosphere of acceptance. Let’s accept people for who they are, not what they look like. Let’s look beyond the outside and attempt to get to know the inside. And even if the inside isn’t what you like, accept others regardless of their flaws and mistakes. Open Up. Don’t Be Hatin’. Drop Your Weapon. Show A Little Grace.
