“What To Do With Your Criticisms!”
The title of this message could have been, “What you Can Do With Your Criticism” but that has a couple of interpretations. It could also have been entitled, “What You are Doing with Your Criticism.”
But we need to recognize that one of the fundamental truth’s about a Baptist church is that if you have 300 people you have 350 opinions of how the church should be run (because some people can not make up their own minds).
I am reminded of the story that was told of “a father who attended church with his little boy, and found fault with everything in the service. As he walked home, he criticized the preacher, the sermon, the choir, and everything in general. The boy, who had noticed what his father put in the offering plate, said, “Well, Dad, what can you expect for a dollar.” [Spiros Zodhiates. Illustrations of Bible Truths. (Chattanooga: AMG Publishers, 1995) #154]
Now on a serious note, I have been deeply troubled of late as I reflected the dissension that seems to be going on within our church. But after talking to several other people in other churches it seems to be prevalent problem.
Some let me begin by addressing what I know to be a few concerns in our church at present.
First let me say, if you don’t like the fact that we have a praise team leading the music on Sunday Mornings, I am the one to blame. Perhaps some of the problem is that I simply did not do a good job of telling you what we hoped to accomplish by the addition of the Praise team. My reasoning was that I thought that it would help to promote, more congregational participation in the singing. Some would argue that it has not, we will just have to wait and see on that one.
Some apparently have gotten the idea that we would be discontinuing the choir and or the use of the piano. Neither is true. I greatly value the choir and what they add to the worship service. Vicki Weaver has done a marvelous job with the choir. The fact that the choir comes down to sit in pews during the service is again my decision. I don’t enjoy having a sizable group setting behind me as long as I have partial empty pews in front of me. I will admit that finding the proper time and method for getting the choir into the pews is still a matter of ongoing experimentation. But we are not going to phase the choir out. Neither are we going to discontinue the use of the piano.
Some do not like the use of Taped Music. What can I say, we will use taped music from time to time but it will never replace the use of instruments. And I am sure that some don’t like the Addition of a Guitar, but if the truth be known I would love to see a church orchestra. Why do we have to be limited to one instrument or at the most two (piano & organ) in our worship services?
Then there is Choruses versus Hymns consideration, again why does it have to be one or the other. While I am pastor (which may be about 20 more minutes) we will always sing the great hymns of the faith. But are we going to say that God has not inspired any music in the last 50 years? And just because it was included in an old songbook does make it a great hymn. Some of the contemporary music is not very deep and some of the stuff written 50 years ago was not either. We will continue to use a Blended Service in which we attempt to use the best of the old and the new. (Some wit has said “A blended service is where you try to make both the young and the older equally miserable.”) I hope that is not the case,
It is not my intent to ever go to a completely contemporary service, why should we turn our backs on some of the best songs just because they were not written this year. We ask our young people to learn to love the old songs of the faith and we ask you adults to learn to appreciate some of the newer praise songs. The song that Josh, Tom and Jana sang as a special tonight is good example of a blending of the old and the new!
As we consider how to express our concerns to others let’s turn to Paul’s letter to the Romans and chapter fourteen. I want to read this to you tonight from the translation called “The Message”
Romans 14:1, 10, 19
“Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you do not agree with – even when it seems they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. (10) So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. (19) So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault.”
This evening I would like to speak to you for a few minutes from my heart on a matter that I think is of vital importance to the church. How and when to Express Your Opinion.
1. Not every opinion has to be expressed.
I ran across something very interesting as I read the section (pp. 53- 61) on “Gossip and Slander” in Carole Mayhall’s book, “Words that Hurt, Words that Heal.” [Colorado Springs: Navipress, 1986] In this book is a very interesting definition of slander. We usually associate slander as “the utterance in the presence of another person of a false statement that is damaging to that person’s character or reputation” The author of this book however holds that this is not the biblical definition of slander. She hold that slander as portrayed in the Old Testament and the New Testament is “the open, intentional sharing of damaging information and is characterized by bad reports that blemish or defame a person’s reputation whether they are true or not.” (p. 54)
The Bible says in James 4:11, “Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law…” The New International Version translates this verse as, “Brothers, do not slander one another.”
One commentator writes on the meaning of this scripture in this way, “The context shows what kind of adverse speaking is meant. It is not so much abusive or malicious language that is condemned, as the love of finding fault. The fault finding temperament is utterly unchristian. It means that we have been paying attention to the conduct of others which would have been better bestowed upon our own. It means also that we have been paying this attention, not in order to help but in order to criticize unfavorably… But over and above all this, this fault finding is an invasion of divine prerogatives. It is not merely a transgression of the royal law of love, but the setting oneself above the law, as if it were a mistake and did not apply to oneself. It is climbing up on the judgment seat on which God alone has the right to sit, and publishing of judgments upon others which He alone has the right to pronounce.” [Alfred Plummer, The Expositor’s Bible. ed. W. Robertson Nicoll. (Grand Rapids: Baker Book) p. 251]
“There are men who pride themselves on their candor, and it degenerates into brutality. One such man said to John Wesley once, "Mr. Wesley, I pride myself in speaking my mind; that is my talent." "Well," said John Wesley, "the Lord wouldn’t mind if you buried that! –[Griffith Thomas]
Not Every Opinion Has To Be Expressed and …
2. When Expressing Criticism It should be Done Correctly
If you have a criticism that must be made then
•Make it to the person whom it concerns and
no one else.
To share your compliant with anyone else other than the person it concerns is gossip, plain and simple. If you are talking to others trying to rally support to your cause then you are guilty of spreading discord among the brethren. Let me must say that In the life of a church if you have a question about something ask, don’t just assume.
Assumptions can be dangerous and wrong.
•If you never complement that person then don’t expect then to be too open to your criticism.
You need to be aware that sometimes that the only ones that people in leadership hear from are those who disagree with something. There is no law that says you can’t express an opinion to say, “Hey, I really liked that!” Consider the fact that those in leadership may have already heard from two others who did not like it.
It may also be time to point out that sometimes what has seemed like a serious problem may in fact be only be a few vocal opponents.As one Pastor with 46 years of ministry experience gave this advice to young pastors. “I left my first pastorate scared away by criticism, afterwards to learn the noise had all been made by one man. One man in a church, community, or organization, may by loud and persistent effort create the impression that matters are all wrong and that everybody is demanding a remedy; which puts me in mind of the old story about the "frog farm."
A farmer advertised a "frog farm" for sale, claiming that he had a pond that was thoroughly stocked with fine bullfrogs. A prospective buyer appeared and was taken late one warm evening to the pond that he might hear the frogs. The "music" made so favorable impression on the buyer that the sale was made. Soon afterward the purchaser proceeded to drain the pond in order to catch and market the frogs. To his surprise, when the water was drained out of the pond, he found that all the noise had been made by one old bullfrog.” [G. B. F. Hallock http://63.74.14.84/sermons/index.mv?illustration+3946]
•If you are going to register a criticism
then make sure it is a good time and place.
For a preacher that is definitely not just before he goes into the pulpit to preach. This should not be done in a public place in front of other listeners.
When Expressing a Criticism it should be Done Correctly and …
3. Remember the Right to Criticism Comes From to those who have a Desire to Fix the Problem.
Does that mean that not everyone has the right to criticize? Yes, that’s what it means. If you do not have the desire to help fix the problem, then you probably don’t need to be the one making the criticism.
“Faultfinding is not difficult. Isaac McCurry illustrates this: A dog hitched to a lawn mower, stopped to bark at a passer-by. The boy who was guiding the mower said, "Don’t mind the dog; he is just barking for an excuse to rest. It is easier to bark than pull the machine." It is easier to be critical than to be correct. It is easier to hinder than to help. Easier to destroy reputation than to construct character. Faultfinding is as dangerous as it is easy. Anybody can grumble, criticize or censure like the Pharisees; but it takes a genuine Christian to go on working faithfully and lovingly, through trials and human failures, as the Lord Jesus did.” – [William Moses Tidwell, "Effective Illustrations." www. 63.74.14.84/sermons/index.mv?illustration+2164]
Let me close by asking, are you “A Builder Or a Wrecker”
As I watched them tear a building down
A gang of men in a busy town
With a ho-heave-ho, and a lusty yell
They swung a beam and the side wall fell
I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,
And the men you’d hire if you wanted to build?”
He gave a laugh and said, “No, indeed,
Just common labor is all I need.”
“I can easily wreck in a day or two,
What builders have taken years to do.”
And I thought to myself, as I went my way
Which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by rule and square?
Am I shaping my work to a well-made plan
Patiently doing the best I can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks to town
Content with the labor of tearing down?
“O Lord let my life and my labors be
That which will build for eternity!”
[Author Unknown - The Increase, 35th Anniversary Issue, 1993, p. 9 (www.bible.org/illus/c/c]
