Dealing With Criticisms (Philippians 2:13-16)
Without an ability to deal with criticisms many people give in to discouragement, anxiety or angry over reactions.
Quote: Advice from Dr. Mitchell’s life: Someone in his congregation pointed out several faults in him and his preaching. Instead of retaliating, or trying to defend himself, he looked at the woman and said, "If what you say is true, would you mind praying for me?" Source Unknown.
Quote: "Lord, send us such a floodtide of Thy love that we shall be washed beyond the mire of doubt and fear.’
- C. H. Spurgeon
Illustration: Lord, deliver me from the lust of vindicating myself.
Augustine.
Quote: Being criticized is not a problem if you develop a positive way of dealing with it. Winston Churchill had the following words of Abe Lincoln framed on the wall of his office: "I do the very best I can, I mean to keep going. If the end brings me out all right, then what is said against me won’t matter. If I’m wrong, ten angels swearing I was right won’t make a difference."
Bits & Pieces, April 29, 1993, pp. 15-16 .
The following are guidelines that help us learn how to react to criticisms as overcomers, just as Jesus did.
1. Remember Jesus Christ’s ability to endure hardships, criticisms and misunderstandings. The Pharisees accused Jesus of being Beelezebub - the son of the devil. Blessed are the persecuted because of righteousness for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Quote:Martin Luther said - "God does not love us because we are valuable, but we are valuable because God loves us."
D.L. Moody said - "I know of no truth in the whole Bible that ought to come home to us with such power and tenderness as that of the love of God."
And W.J.C. White said - "Our total welfare is the constant concern of God’s loving heart."
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew 5:11,12)
Thank God for the privilege of being identified closer with Christ and the prophets. The worst thing you can do is to react with anger, become irritable and respond with vengeance. Refuse to allow yourself to become embittered but allow every criticism to make you a better person.
2. Solomon knew something about responding positively to criticism when he wrote, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)
Application: Ask the Lord for helping in reacting in a calm controlled and loving way to your critics. Your adversaries will eventually be ashamed of themselves by your consistent Godliness.
3. Blessed are the gentle since they exhibit power under control. They are able to maintain their peace under the heat of criticisms , misunderstanding and injustices. Being meek does not equate with weakness.
Application: Ask the Lord to give you powerful intercessors who will speak on your behalf and pray for your during times of testing.
4. Blessed are the poor in spirit as they recognize that we are all sinners and are in need of God’s mercy, grace and patience.
Application: Ask people, "Please be patient with me God is not finished with me yet."
5. Remember that pride goes before destruction and a haughty or self-righteous spirit comes before stumbling. Do not always feel that you have to defend yourself as the Lord is your great advocate - He will fight the battles for you.
6. Love is long-suffering. Ask the Lord for a great infusion of His grace in maintaining your peace and tongue under the heat of attacks. Press on for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus and His Spirit. Focus your attention on things that are above rather than on things that are on the earth with all of its politics, palavers and ego problems.
7. Follow the example of Jesus who when questioned about His authority by the Pharisees said, "If you answer my question, I will tell you where my authority comes from. "Where did John get his power." The Pharisees were afraid to answer publicly for fear of the crowds. Jesus said, "Neither will I tell you where I get my authority!"
8. Occasionally you may be wise to defer, delay, obfuscate, procrastinate or prevaricate (speaking evasively) in order to avoid a confrontation. Try not to get into a heated argument. Paul wrote Timothy,
"Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. The Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth." (2 Tim. 2:24-26)
Let the Lord’s Spirit change peoples’ thinking.
9. Remember that the source of most conflicts lies within a person’s own selfish desires. James wrote, "What is the source of conflicts and quarrels among you, is it not your own desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t’ get it. You do not have because you do not ask. When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." (James 4:1-4)
Application: Ask the Lord for the ability to replace your selfish desires with Christ’s priorities, purposes and processes. He will give you the desires of your heart as you commit, delight and trust also in Him to bring things to pass.
10. Practice wise diplomacy, tact and ambassadorial discretion answering your critics with gracious language the way Paul did to Agrippa, Festus and his Jewish accusers in Acts 26.
11. Remind people of the power of a testimony that is free from complaining. Paul wrote in Phil. 2:14,15 which says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of Goid without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like starts in the universe as you hold out the word of life.
Application: Frequently use the scripture to quote to your critics as that focuses their attention of the truth of God’s word.
12. Take up the full armor of God so that you can stand against the attacks from the world, the flesh and the devil. Fortify yourself with the breastplate of righteousness so that you are faultless. Use the helmet of salvation to remind you of all the riches you have in Christ. Take the shield of faith so that you can know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Gird your loins with the belt of truth and the gospel so that you are progressing in all aspects into Christ rather than worrying about just reacting to the problems that come to you.
13. Ask the Lord for the ability to thank Him for every trial knowing that the trial of our faith can produce endurance, Godly character, greater hope, heighten maturity, more understanding into His will, and more Godly perspectives.
14. Remember that you are only responsible to trust and obey the Lord in what He assigns you to do. Resist the temptation to take on any other responsibilities or problems that are beyond God’s will for your life.
15. Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Ask the Lord for the ability to think through and pray about your response before just blurting out your emotional anger, fears or resentment.
16. Remember that God comforts you in all afflictions so that you can comfort others who are afflicted. 2 Cor. 1:4
17. Ask the Lord for the wisdom to separate out what is essential from what is non-essential in His plans for you.
18. Realize that the origin of complaints are often found in greed, envy, jealousy, anger, hatred, immaturity, ungodliness, rebelliousness, misunderstanding, presumption, lack of knowledge, lack of wisdom, or carnality.
19. Ask the Lord for the ability to learn something from every criticism, but trust the Lord for the ability to be a Teflon Christian that does not take attacks personally.
20. Exhibit the qualities of I Cor. 13:4-7 love: Enduring, kind, not envious, not trying to impress others, not conceited, not defensive, not rude, not self-centered, not touchy or resentful or irritable, not bringing up past offenses, not making a big deal out of others misdeeds, bears up under any difficulty, ready to believe that God’s best will prevail, Is not fickle or situational in its hope, endures every trial with Christ’s power.
21. Do not give into fear or anger remembering 2 Tim. 1:7 - God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and disicpline. Paul was able to weather all of the storms of criticism because He
know whom He believed.
22. If you are worried or bothered about criticisms cast all your care upon Him for He cares for you. Be sober and vigilant as the devil prowls around you seeking whom He may devour. Be assured that greater is He who is in you than He who is in the world. (I Pet. 5:7,8; I John 4:4)
23. Take comfort in the fact that David endured terrible criticism and attack from his enemies, but the Lord fought His battles and allowed him to triumph through His power.
24. Continue to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness not worrying about where all of the answers to peoples’ questions will come from. (Matthew 6:24-34) Most of the reason why people are critical is that they are not actively pursuing God’s greater plans for their lives.
25. Learn to prioritize your relationships, activities, and energies. There are many problems that are non-essentials. Only the matters that are essential and are a part of God’s will for your life should concern you.
26. Help people to see that it is the Lord who promotes and demotes people and organizations. Psa 127:1,2 says, "Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it. Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early and toil late in the night. He alone gives prosperity without sorrow.
27. Do not associate with complainers, grumps and those who are continuing looking for faults.
28. Remember that many people complain for manipulative reasons. Solomon wrote, "Bad, bad says the buyer and then he goes away boasting." Many people complain because they feel good about ventilating their frustrations
29. Remember that tribulation often works perseverance, proven character and greater hope as we grow more reliant on the Lord’s supernatural love to bring us through every trial. (Romans 5:1-5)
30. Take an inventory of your encouragement in Christ, comfort from His love, your fellowship with the Spirit, your tenderness and compassion, and find unity and strength in like minded people who you can pursue God’s goals together with. Have the same attitude in you that was in Christ Jesus who humbled Himself and stayed obedient to the Lord even until death amidst terrible injustices.
31. Consider other peoples’ injustices, persecutions, and oppressions. This will cause you to thank God for your freedoms, benefits and opportunities.
32. Be willing to take up your cross of suffering with Christ as He endured to the point of death. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and is now set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For you have not resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin.
33. Remember that it is not what is on the outside of person that defiles them but what comes out of their mouth. Learn to speak with ambiguity, tolerance and respectfulness to people.
34. Remember that you are serving the Lord more than you are serving man. Do not become disappointed when people misuse, abuse or criticize you recognizing that they are not rejecting you but the one who sent you.
35. Direct people to the Lord for the answers to their problems, questions and complaints. Pray with them about their situation so that they know you care, but that the Lord is the one who has the best answers and solutions.
36. Remind people that we do not need to understand all of the reasons for our suffering since the Lord only supplies enough information for us to obey His will. (Deut 29:29)
37. Encourage people with the promises of God like the one found in Romans 8:28 - God works all things together for good (Our greater holiness and Christ likeness) as long as love God and are called according to His purposes.
38. Follow the Psalms of David who endured great attacks from his opponents. Seek solace in David’s psalms and prayers. For example, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I will not be in want of any needful thing." (Psalm 23)
39. Realize that different personalities, cultures, generations, genders and individuals will see things differently.
Application: Ask the Lord for the serenity to accept the things you cannot change (Like most
peoples’ thinking) the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference.
40. Ask the Lord to deliver you from people who are always looking to find fault or glitches. Choose the battles that are really worth fighting - but fight the good fight of faith.
41. Continually rejoice always (Using songs of praise and thanksgiving to the Lord), pray without ceasing with a great devotional time in the morning, and in everything give thanks (Knowing God can turn tragedies to triumphs)
42. Advise people, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only that which is good for edification that it may bring grace to the hearer. (Eph 4:29) Encourage people to consider the effects not just the intent of their communications.
43. Say, "Sorry, I have that impression or just please forgive me." If people do not forgive then it becomes their problem
44. Accept him who is weak in faith without passing judgment. (Rom 14:1) Take every criticism as an opportunity to see where people are at in their spiritual, ministry, emotional, social, cultural, educational, theological, and organizational maturity.
Application: Realize that people who are not mature yet will not be able to understand what is happening at the higher spiritual levels of maturity.
45. Emphasize personal responsibility as the best way to handle criticisms about organizations.
46. Realize that many leaders manage out of their ego deficiencies rather than out of their strengths, gifts and callings. These people often become irritated because complaints expose their weaknesses which they are trying to hide.
47. Realize that many people complain because they love to ventilate their negative feelings. Allow them, but don’t pay much attention to the exercise of letting off of steam.
48. Realize that many people would rather philosophize, theologize and legalize rather than being doers of the word and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. (James 1:22) Many committees are content to just create more bureaucracy, procedures, policies and modalities rather than actually doing real ministry. These people often are the worst critics of legitimate ministries - like the Pharisees.
49. Many complaints are like dirty water that just needs to be discarded.
50. Ask the Lord for wisdom to sort out legitimate complaints from those that are just low priority requests. Follow Christ, the Church and His Commission as the three top priorities. Problems that involve the accomplishing of these three top priorities are worthwhile.
51. Many complainers tend to think too subjectively, allowing their personal feelings to distort reality and truth.
Application: Ask the Lord for the ability to think objectively about matters and the influence to help others do the same.
52. Manage from the left brain, but try leading from the right brain with greater sensitivity to peoples’ feelings. Let the mind of Christ dominate all of your human reactions.
53. Remind people of what Jesus said about complaining and judging. "Do not judge or you will be judged. Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye before removing the log from your own eye." (Matt. 7:1,2) Only God is in a position to judge us. He is the only one who has all the facts, is completely impartial and has the authority to pronounce final judgment and rewards.
Illustration: Advice from Dr. Mitchell’s life: Someone in his congregation pointed out several faults in him and his preaching. Instead of retaliating, or trying to defend himself, he looked at the woman and said, "If what you say is true, would you mind praying for me?"
Source Unknown.
