(Overhead 1)
Donald Smith has discovered a very important list that has far reaching implications for interpersonal communications between fathers and their families.
Much has been written over the years about the need for honest, clear, and consistent communication in family life. For lack of a better term, he calls it, “The Father’s Day Top Ten List of Things You’ve Been Itchin’ To Say For Years Now.” I have changed the title slightly to “Dad’s Top Ten List of Things You’ve Been Itchin’ For Years To Say.”
Here it is:
#10 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#9 Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#8 Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#7 “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
#6 Check your oil! Please, check your oil!
#5 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.
#4 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#3 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#2 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Finally, the number one thing that we have been itchin’ to say:
(Overhead 2)
#1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!
Focus On The Family’s Pastor’s Weekly Update reported at the end of this past week (early June 2003)that the newest issue of Family Circle Magazine’s newest national survey of fathers had some interesting results. Among the findings were:
* 94% feel building a family is the hardest and most important thing
a man can do.
* 71% say fatherhood is more demanding than they expected, while 88% say fatherhood is more rewarding
· 87% say the rewards of fatherhood trump those of career, and 89% approve of men leaving fast-track careers to spend more time with family.
* 90% say becoming a father made them want to be a better person and role model for their kids, while 75% feel a weight of responsibility now that they didn’t before.
Paul Harvey, in a column entitled “What Are Father’s Made Of?” has noticed the following about fathers:
“A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic. A father is a thing that growls when it feels good--and laughs very loud when it’s scared half to death.
A father never feels entirely worthy of the worship in a child’s eyes. He’s never quite the hero his daughter thinks, never quite the man his son believes him to be--and this worries him, sometimes. So he works too hard to try and smooth the rough places in the road for those of his own who will follow him.
A father is a thing that gets very angry when the first school grades aren’t as good as he thinks they should be. He scolds his son though he knows it’s the teacher’s fault. Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody’s. Fathers make bets with insurance companies about who’ll live the longest. Though they know the odds, they keep right on betting. And one day they lose.
I don’t know where fathers go when they die. But I’ve an idea that after a good rest, wherever it is, he won’t be happy unless there’s work to do. He won’t just sit on a cloud and wait for the girl he’s loved and the children she bore. He’ll be busy there, too, repairing the stairs, oiling the gates, improving the streets, smoothing the way.”
The Bible has some important things to say about fathers and fathering. Things I, as a dad, need to be reminded of more than once a year.
Among them are Ephesians 6:4, “And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.” And also Colossians 3:21, “Father’s, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.”
These passages remind me of the need for firmness and grace, guidance and permission giving, discipline and love, disagreement and respect toward my boys.
But there is another passage, this one in John’s gospel, which has much to teach us about fathers and fathering. It is found in chapter 17 of John’s gospel. It is Jesus’ prayer to God the Father prior to His arrest and subsequent crucifixion.
There is much more to this chapter than we can possibly examine this morning and it is worthy of a series by itself. But, I want to read the opening five verses of scripture from the perspective of a father and son conversation. As you listen to this familiar passage what do you hear and sense regarding their relationship?
When Jesus had finished saying all these things, he looked up to heaven and said, “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son so he can give glory back to you. 2For you have given him authority over everyone in all the earth. He gives eternal life to each one you have given him. 3 And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. 4I brought glory to you here on earth by doing everything you told me to do. 5 And now, Father, bring me into the glory we shared before the world began. (NLT)
What do read, what do you see happening, what do you feel, in this brief passage? How about these things? (Overhead 3)
First of all we see intimacy/closeness in the relationship. As you read chapters 14 through 16 you see this closeness between Jesus and His Father. In fact, as Jesus says in the final verse of our segment, “And now, Father, bring me into the glory we shared before the world began.” Last week during our study of Genesis 1, we read in verse 26, “Then God said, “Let us make people in our image, to be like ourselves.” Who is the “us” in this verse? God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The possible dialogue that may have occurred between the Godhead about creation intrigues me. Wouldn’t you have loved to been a newly created fly buzzing around as God went to work on creating humanity?
God the Son and God the Father have always been close. And Jesus makes that clear little further down in verse 21 when he says, “My prayer for all of them is that they will be one, just as you and I are one, Father.” Dads, being close to our kids is okay. Laughing with them, clowning around with them, even crying with them is okay. Dads have the incredible ability to relate to their kids in meaningful ways just we Jesus reveals in this passage.
A second thing that we notice is teamwork. Jesus notes in verse 4. “I brought glory to you here on earth by doing everything you told me to do.” Now Jesus obeyed the Father and came to earth to die on our behalf so that we might be forgiven of our sins and released from their bondage. But, it required teamwork. God the Father had a role to play. God the Son had a place on the team. And, as Jesus reveals in these final moments prior to his death and resurrection, God the Holy Spirit will have a place in the Father’s plan as well.
One of the things that Susan and I are trying to teach Jonathon and Daniel is teamwork. They have just finished playing rag ball and tee ball and learning how to play as members of a team. Many of us have discovered that working together as a team can provide some wonderful opportunities for growth and development even though working, as a team is hard at times. Dads, our biggest fans also make up our biggest team – our families.
A final thing that we notice is love and respect. In verse 2 Jesus says, “Glorify your Son so he can give glory back to you.” What does “glorify” mean? To glorify something is to hold it in high regard, to make it wonderful and larger than life.
What Jesus is asking for here is not an egotistical thing. What He is asking for, on the verge of death, is that His father will honor him so that He can honor His father. This is a statement about love and respect. Dads, do you see the love and respect you have for your kids and family returning to you?
Because of what Jesus went on to do after this prayer, the family of God, the church came into existence. And in the later books of the New Testament, those books that follow this segment of scripture, we see and hear the importance that closeness, teamwork, and love and respect play in the life of the church.
One of the ways that we do this is by sharing our stories in ways that strengthen our faith. And this morning I have asked kids from four families to come and share some of the lessons they have learned from their fathers. I am going to ask them to join me here on the platform. One is speaking a video tape but the others are live!
(Sharing by congregational members)
Thank you for sharing. I conclude with this story from the late Erma Bombeck, entitled, “Then God Made Dads.”
When the Lord was creating fathers he started with a tall frame. And an angel standing nearby said, “What kind of father is that? If You’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling. He won’t be able to tuck a child in bed without bending. He won’t even be able to kiss a child without stooping?” And God smiled and said, “Yes, but if I make him child size, who will the children have to look up to?”
And when God made the father’s hands, they were large and skinny. And the angel shook his head and said, “I don’t think You want to make a hand like that. Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails, or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats.” God smiled again and said, “I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of the day—yet small enough to cup a child’s face in his hands.”
And then, God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearly had a heart attack. “Boy, this is the end of the
week, all right!” he said. How’s he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?” And God smiled
and said, “A mother needs a lap but a father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus.”
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could not be contained any longer.
“That’s not fair,” he said. “Do you honestly think that those large canal boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when
the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?” And God smiles again and
said, “They’ll work. You’ll see. They’ll scare off mice at a summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge.”
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm voice and eyes that saw everything. Finally, almost
as an afterthought, he added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said, “Now are we satisfied that he can love as much
as a mother?” And the angel was silent!
We need good men and women and there is a way to find them – as Godly dads continue to be just that to their children. Men, let’s be that and let us continue to learn from our Heavenly Father and His words to us in scripture, and through the work of the Holy Spirit in our minds and hearts. Amen.
