Matthew 18:21-35 - My Chains Fell Off
At a convention with their wives, two businessmen who had been roommates in college crossed paths. They sat in the lobby all night talking. They knew they would be in trouble with their wives. The next day they happened to see each other. "What did your wife think?"
"I walked in the door and my wife got historical."
"Don’t you mean hysterical?”
"No, historical. She told me everything I ever did wrong."
Have you ever met those people, the ones who seem to rehash the past forever? The ones who seem to live in their memories more than in the present? The ones who can’t seem to get past some issue, some hang-up, some roadblock in their past? As if they are still chained to something years ago.
Today, as we continue through our series on the Apostles’ Creed, we will look at forgiveness. Now, forgiveness really exists on two main levels: forgiveness from God to us, and forgiveness from us to others. Most of us rejoice in the first and stumble on the second. We are glad that the Lord forgives us from our sins and failures. But we are troubled when we know that we need to forgive someone else.
But then again, maybe our trouble is not when we know we need to forgive; it’s when we think we don’t have to forgive. After all, this is one of those messages that you’re wishing someone else heard. It’s someone else’s problem, not yours. Someone else is bitter; someone else has a problem. But not you. You’re OK. You’re allowed to be bitter. You’re allowed to fester and stew. You’re allowed to hold a grudge because of what happened to you. And if I knew what had happened to you, I wouldn’t expect you to forgive anyone.
Well, it’s true that I don’t know what has happened to you. But I know Jesus does. And I know what He has said about forgiveness. So today’s message isn’t from the pastor; it’s from the Lord. Well, I hope every message I have is from the Lord, but know that this is not my opinion; it’s straight from God.
I mention forgiveness fairly often, for a few reasons. 1) Unforgiveness is more subtle than most sins. It’s sneaky. It crawls into your spirit so gently, so nobly, so innocently that you don’t know it’s there until it really has you.
2) It’s also more common than most sins. We all battle it from time to time. Even though we may not stumble over the “bigger” sins, the sins of the flesh, lack of forgiveness seems to affect more of us. And
3) it’s also more dangerous. It may not cause overdoses and car accidents, but it will divide churches, families, marriages, and nations. Unforgiveness has been called the cancer of the soul. Unchecked, it will eat us alive.
Turn with me to Matthew 18:21-35 for a story that describes how Jesus looks at forgiveness on the two levels: from God and for others. And Jesus also shows us what lack of forgiveness will do to us. He compares unforgiveness to a prison. (read scripture)
In this simple story, a man owes his employer thousands, even millions of dollars. He was about to be thrown into prison. The man pleads for mercy, and the boss gives it to him. The debt is erased, and the man can go free.
How the man ended up owing millions is beyond me. But it’s clear that the huge debt is like our own. Each of us accumulated a huge debt towards God. He created the world, He created us. He loved us, took care of us, fed us, clothed us. Yet at some point each of us wandered away. At some point we each said, “I don’t need all this. I can do it myself. I don’t need your love. I don’t need you.” And we ran up quite a bill before our Maker. And the prison we deserved is hell. Each of us deserves eternal punishment.
Yet, God says to us: Be sorry for what you did, for who you are. Be willing to do anything for me out of gratitude, out of thanks to me. And the debt gets erased. Just like that. It’s called grace. It’s called mercy. It’s called forgiveness. He offers it to each of us. But whether we accept it or not is up to us.
But the story doesn’t end there. The man had someone owe him money, a few bucks. He immediately walks out from his employer’s office and demands a payment. Understand: he doesn’t need it as the start of a re-payment plan. It was purely selfish reasons why he demanded this money back. Well, the employer heard about this and brought the first man back into his courts. He scolded him severely, then threw him into prison. And in this prison, the man would face torture.
Understand this: unforgiveness is a self-inflicted prison. It is self-induced torture. It is a ball-and-chain of your own making. No matter what anybody did to you first, forgiveness or unforgiveness is your own choice.
After all, if it weren’t a choice, would we be told so many times to do it? If we had no say in the matter, would a loving God tell us to forgive? If it were impossible to forgive, would we be told to do it?
- Colossians 3:13 - Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
- Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
- Luke 11:4 - Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.’ "
And some of Jesus’ own words are even more severe:
- Matthew 6:14-15 - For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
- Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
These tie in with the final verse of our scripture today:
- Matthew 18:35 - "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Jesus and the other Bible writers seem to consider forgiveness fairly important. Luke 6:37-38 - "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven… For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Jesus seems to imply that the extent that you forgive others is how much God will forgive you.
Is that a scary thought? It sure looks as if God considers our forgiveness of others as important as His forgiveness of us. A man named General Oglethorpe once said to John Wesley: “I never forgive and I never forget.” To which Wesley replied: “Then, sir, I hope that you never sin.”
Forgiveness of others is tied to forgiveness from God. Why are we to forgive? Why is it so important? Several reasons:
1) to be like our forgiving Father
2) to help us understand all that we’ve been forgiven of
3) because it’s better for our souls.
I believe that all of God’s commands are not to spoil our fun, but because they are good for us. Like telling your kids to eat broccoli or other veggies. Because it will help your body, your mind, your sleep, your appearance, your bones, your heart, etc. God’s commands are like that. Because following them is better for our spirits than not following them. Watch this, from two places in the scriptures.
1) Forgiveness brings freedom. Matt.18:27 – the master let him go. Being forgiven gives us freedom. It means we are not slaves to work ourselves debt-free before God. He just gives it to us. Before the master freed him from the debt, he was terrified. He was going to spend his whole life trying to repay, and he would never have been able to. But forgiveness of the debt set him free. And it sets us free, too. Free to love, to be thankful.
But what does unforgiveness do to someone? It puts you into prison. If you don’t take this parable and Jesus’ words literally, what is meant likely is that if you don’t forgive others, then you don’t feel forgiven by God. That’s true. Unforgiveness of others results in not feeling forgiven by God. Folks, if you don’t feel forgiven, if you don’t feel that God could forgive or has forgiven, it could be that you need to do some forgiving as well.
2) Forgiveness brings closure. Again from the story, the servant was able to just walk away from the debt. Would he forget? Likely not. We seem to think that if we have forgiven, then we will forget. That’s not true. We are humans with memories. Forgetting is not a substitute for forgiveness. In fact, on the road to forgiveness, we may have to remember all the horrible things that happened to us. But forgiveness closes the door on them. It says: I will not let the emotional baggage keep me down. And if I do remember, I will choose to forgive again.
Forgiveness is a choice, and you can choose to keep the emotion behind locked doors. You can walk away from it. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Yes. Ask Him to help you. You already have all the Spirit you need. But ask for the courage to forgive. Ask for the freedom that comes. Ask God to show you how to move on.
3) Forgiveness brings life. Watch this verse. I had never seen it this way until this week. Colossians 2:13 – “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your (or our) sinful nature, God made you (or us) alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins.” The writer Paul puts “giving life” and “forgiveness” in the same breath. We find life when we are forgiven. Joy, hope, peace, strength. And we give life when we forgive, to ourselves and to our victims of unforgiveness. Letting someone off your hook doesn’t let them off God’s, but it frees you.
In closing, I heard this thought a long time ago. Holding on offense against someone is like being a jailer, while the offending party is in the jail. You’re keeping them in there but good. You alone have the key to let them out, but you just won’t, because of what they did to you. The problem is, since you’re the jailer, you’re stuck there too. Oh, the person might be behind the bars, but you can’t go anywhere either. The only way to set yourself free is by letting them go, too. Will you let someone go free today? Will you turn the key? Will you forgive?
BULLETIN NOTES:
Matthew 18:21-35 - My Chains Fell Off
Unforgiveness is a sin mentioned fairly often in the Bible.
Why? It’s more s__________________
c__________________
d__________________.
Jesus told a long story about it in Matthew 18, comparing it to prison.
Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, Luke 11:4
Matthew 6:14-15, Mark 11:25, Luke 6:37-38
Apparently forgiveness from God and our forgiveness of others have a lot to do with each other.
Why are we to forgive? Why is it so important? Several reasons:
1) to be like our forgiving Father
2) to help us understand a___________ that we’ve been forgiven of
3) because it’s better for our s____________________.
God tells us to forgive for our own good, more than anyone else’s.
It does three things for us:
1) Forgiveness brings f_____________________.
Unforgiveness is a ball-and-chain of our own making.
2) Forgiveness brings c_____________________.
We can close the door on our past hurts,
even if the memory still exists.
3) Forgiveness brings l_____________________.
Colossians 2:13 – making us alive comes from forgiving us.
Are you in prison? Are you keeping someone else prisoner?
Turn the key and let both of you go free.
