Men of Commitment
Father’s Day
Minster Cedric A. Portis
cedque8@cs.com
6/15/03
Luke 14:25 And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them,
Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Luke 14:27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
Luke 14:28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?
Luke 14:29 Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,
Luke 14:30 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.
Luke 14:31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?
On a day that should be marked with celebration and honor for the head of families, father’s day in our community has become one of the most confusing days of the year, from questions of who is my father to where is my daddy, to step daddy vs. biological daddy, to women trying to be fathers and mothers, to no man present at all.
In the relationship counseling that I have done thus far the underlining theme in the situations that just spoke about is the fact that there is no real commitment. The type of commitment that is prevalent today is what I would title sunshine commitment, I am committed as long as everything is going well but the minute hard time arise, the minute a gray cloud in on the horizon, I am out the door.
We need to realize this morning that there is power in true commitment not only for yourself but for your family. True commitment is the answer for a happier marriage and not just a relationship of drudgery, where your lifetime partnership with you wife is your greatest human source of delight.
And you have healthier more well adjusted mature children who love God and respect their parents and work hard and bring joy not grief into their homes. True commitment will yield healthier patterns of communication where issues are not avoided and swept under the carpet. Where conflict is resolved. Where you and your family know the Lord and live His Word and we rejoice in His love and faithfulness.
Well you might say well, I want changes in my family, how do I get to this seemingly unattainable place? Well one word commitment, while sounding simple, and is at times difficult but the power of this word in your life will transform you into the man of commitment that God calls and your family needs you to be.
And many times you look at a family and you think you understand what is going on with that family but you really don’t understand at all. Perceptions are not reality. Every person here has some perception about what makes a successful, prayerful, God honoring family.
And you say to yourself look at that couple they have great…. If we had… like them we would have the kind of marriage they have. You look at some and say look at their environments and you say look and their parents and grandparents and you look at this and that and you look at all of these factors and you come up with what in your mind constitutes a happy good God honoring family.
Let me tell you this morning that perception and not reality. Underneath, and behind and at the core of every family you respect and admire, is not the things you perceive, they have problems too, but at the center of that family is the word commitment. A total unalterable, unswerving, lifelong commitment to do life together under God. And you may say again I want commitment in myself and for my family I believe that is important.
Well here are four things that will help men be transformed in to men of commitment for God and for their families
1. The commitment must be total.
Luke 14:25 And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them,
Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
What Jesus is saying here is anything less that 100% total commitment to Me is not good enough. What the Lord requires is not 99 ½ but total 100% commitment.
Jesus said if you don’t hate all other human relationships compared to your relationship with me you cannot be my disciple. What Jesus is saying is that no relationship in your life can be more important than your relationship with Him.
Every family has to come to grips with the fact that God will be first, and anything less that that is not total commitment. Now when you have that out on the table, your commitment to Christ, that same level of commitment is also due to your family. Anything less that total 100% radical commitment to your wife, to your children, is not commitment at all.
In a marriage, until you have erased the possibility of divorce from your relationship, there will never be total commitment. If you step into a marriage and you leave the door even cracked to the single life you just gave up, you will never attain total commitment. And this means that you will never experience the fullness of marriage God created the marriage relationship to be. This is why the divorce rate is so high, the unwillingness to erase the possibility of divorce.
When you say “hey I made a commitment to this woman for live” and divorce is not an option we are going to work this out, there is power in that commitment.
Men do you understand that to make a commitment to someone for a lifetime and there is no one else, and you don’t have eyes for anyone else, anything less than this type of commitment does not produce power. Making a true commitment produces power, power to defeat your enemies and destroy your obstacles.
Here is the second thing. You will become a man of commitment when the cost is calculated. In the text of scripture we are dealing with notice that Jesus says whoever does not bear his own cross cannot come after me cannot be my disciple, a cross in one sense is symbolic of hardship, so we must ask ourselves what is the hardship of following Christ?
Its, daily, some persecution, there is going to be some rejection, if you follow Christ with a radical commitment there are some people who will reject you. And you are going to have to accept this rejection and move on because you are all about following Jesus Christ. And your trust God through trials and persevering even when it is difficult. And you don’t live for yourself anymore, and we have to get through God forming us and shaping us, the Christian life is not an easy life. It’s a hard road and it’s a narrow road.
In verse 28 Jesus gives and illustration, which one of you build a tower does not first sit down and count up the cost to see if he has enough to complete it. That word calculate is literally pebble and it is used in counting one by one.
Can I finish the course, can I follow Christ to the end, can I be the faithful husband for the rest of my life, can I be the parent God has called me to be, because if I cant be I have no business making the commitment. Powerful commitment is when to cost is calculated.
Well this tower is going to take this many bricks, this much steel. Do we have that much on hand?
When you walk to the church to get married and you stand before a church filled with witnesses and you say to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others give myself only to you as long as we both shall live.
That is a huge commitment, and you have to count the cost of that commitment ahead of time, that means that its not always going to be easy and you are going to have to give in sometimes and you are going to have to give yourself and you are going to have to love when it popular and love when its not.
To get to the mountain top experiences in a marriage you have to go through the valleys. Commitment is the defining characteristic of a man’s life, there are men who keep their commitments and men who don’t, now which kind of person are you and what kind of family do you have?
Do you keep the commitments that you make? Because if you do there is power there, and if you don’t there is heartache and heartbreak. I promise I am going to be home early tonight from work, son I promise I will make your next game, Yea I know I said till death do us part but I just can’t put up with you any longer. Stop making fleshly excuses and start being a man of your word. If you put your word on the table, follow through. There is no respect for a man that does not keep his word who’s life is filled with unfulfilled commitments.
There is a conference in Illinois and don’t know if it has been held here or not but it is called “the I still do conference.” It is a great concept, because anyone can go to the front of the church and just say I do, let’s go to Hawaii. But to be standing there 10, 20, 30, 40 and even 50 years later and to be able to say “I still do.” And if I had it to do all over again I still would. There is power there, that I power that will flow down into your children and into your grandchildren.
Third thing: when the course is finished. Notice in verse 29
Luke 14:29 Lest haply (otherwise), after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him
The person that is not able to finish what he has started because he did not count up the cost, mockery, and ridicule is coming your way.
How many of you today made a commitment to Jesus Christ and you came out big time for Jesus and your family looked at you and said yeah right set the clock its just a phase that they are going through, we have all been through it, they will be back to normal before you know it.
And here we are 5 years later 10 years later, did you make a real commitment to Jesus or are you a sunshine, Sunday disciple. You praise Jesus in the good times and desert Him when there is pressure.
John I 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.
It is the enduing to the end that shows the genuineness of a profession of faith or a real commitment. Jesus Christ is very interested in us finishing what we start, Jesus is looking for finishers in a world of quitters.
In researching this topic I learned that there are over 5000 babies abandoned each year, quitters almost 30% of the children in this country have single parent households and most of them are women, quitters, to say nothing of the second parent homes, to say nothing of the countless kids coming home to empty homes for hours on end because they live in homes where money is more important than children, quitters.
Ridicule is coming your way. Commitment is powerful when you have the mind and the heart to finish what you started. Successful parenting is not just getting your kids through high school. I hear all of the time as soon as they get 18 and finish high school I am done. What do you mean you are done?
Parenting is a job for 100 years. And you say I don’t think I am going to be around for 100 years, but your children will or your grandchildren will and you may not even get to know some of them, but they will know you and they will know the kind of life you lived.
And they will know the kind of opportunity you have given them. They will know if you were a man of commitment or not a man of commitment. They will know if you laid a foundation for the in Jesus Christ, or all you left them was sinking sand. What we do affects the next generation.
Fourth thing is when the price is paid
Luke 14:31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?
The report comes in king there are 20k marching on us, how many do we have, 10k and immediately the king starts to count up the cost. We are stronger, how many casualties will we have, are we willing to pay the price because if we are not then we shouldn’t start.
Luke 14:32 Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.
If you cant win stay out of the fight. If you are not going to finish don’t start Kings that defend their kingdom only until hardship comes or a price must be paid don’t have their kingdoms for very long.
People who follow Christ only until persecution or rejection or you are just weary of the pursuit of holiness don’t follow Christ for very long.
If you don’t mean forever, don’t say I do to that woman.
As I close I want to give us on this father’s day the tools to sharpen our commitment both as husbands and as fathers.
1. Consecrate – to declare holy, to set apart for the worship of God. You should start be repenting of half hearted, sunshine only, shallow commitment to your family. Repent of selfishness and distractedness and avoidance of your number one responsibility under God and that is being committed to your family. Go to your wife go to your children ask for forgiveness and be specific. Say, well I have not been the father God wants me to be, I have not been the husband that God wants me to be, I have been distracted by other things please forgive me. I have put work before you all, I have put hobbies and outside interests before you all and I am sorry. And don’t be ashamed to acknowledge before your family that God is dealing with your heart. Things can be different and God wants them to be different.
2. Communicate – Share with your family a vision of commitment, Just get your family together and say hey we are the Portis’s and we are committed, and we keep our commitments and no you cant quit the football team, I know it is tough but we made a commitment. You don’t have to play next year but we gave our word we don’t quit, I know your friend down the street quit but that’s their family but this is our family and we don’t quit. Give your family a vision of total commitment. No you don’t have to worry if you hear mom and dad fighting we are going to work it out; we are in this for life.
3. Cooperate – Compromise, I won’t work late today, I will come home and help out, I will take the kids to practices today and give you a break. Do you need any other help around the house? Because we are in this together.
4. Christ – Men listen to me carefully, you do not have in yourself the strength to do what I am talking about doing, if it doesn’t come from a personal relationship with Christ if it doesn’t come from a kneeling and surrendering to Christ and His lordship the type of commitment we have been talking about will only be a pipedream, you cannot keep these commitments without the power of Christ in your life. Let me tell you when you totally surrender to Christ and become committed to serving Him, your family life will be the best you have ever seen it. Your job as a parent will make more sense, You will understand that type of Husband and father God had called you to be and your family needs you to be.
Right now we are going to pray for the families represented here and if your husband or father is not present here today, you need to stand in the gap for them right now in the name of Jesus
God give us the grace to believe that the best days of our families are ahead, God give to the marriage in this church a fresh portion of your grace and your love, God give the woman that feels so alone in her marriage and wondering when her husband will get a clue, God give her strength and calm and peace to continue to be the child of God you have called her to be and to keep on loving.
And Lord give to the man who feels under a tremendous weight of all his responsibilities of the pressure at work, God forgive us for allowing the responsibility of providing outweigh our eternal responsibility of leading and shepherding our family
God help us today to encourage our men, Lord don’t allow them to fell beat down by your truth but cause them to be built up in their spirits and to cause them believe that they can grow into the leaders that you want them to be.
Lord cause us to be lovers of our wives and leaders of our children and men who represent total true commitment. And give us faith to see that the power is here in our commitment, help us Lord, here we stand needing your grace and your mercy and strength to obey your word and to apply your truths, Grant to our homes Lord this week conversations about how can I be better. Lord don’t let us just go through the motions but let the truth that we hear affect our lives and change us. In Jesus name we pray amen.
