SHORT-TERM GAIN, LONG-TERM PAIN (GEN 13:5-14)
Once upon a time, there was a man who lived with his wife, two small children, and his elderly parents in a tiny hut. He tried to be patient and gracious, but the noise and crowded conditions wore him down.
In desperation, he consulted the village wise man. “Do you have a rooster?” asked the wise man. “Yes,” he replied. “Keep the rooster in the hut with your family, and come and see me again next week.” The next week, the man returned and told the wise elder that the living conditions were worse than ever, with the rooster crowing and making a mess of the hut. “Do you have a cow?” asked the wise elder. The man nodded fearfully. “Take your cow into the hut as well, and come see me in a week.” Over the next several weeks, the man - on the advice of the wise elder -- made room for a goat, two dogs, and his brother’s children.
Finally, he could take it no more, and in a fit of anger, kicked out all his guests, leaving only his wife, his children, and his parents. The home suddenly became spacious and quiet, and everyone lived happily ever after. (Source: The Hope Health letter, Leadership, Winter 96)
Along with his son Abraham and daughter-in-law Sarai (Gen 11:31), Terah brought his grandson Lot with him to Haran, where the family accumulated possessions and acquired servants (Gen 12:5). Lot was the nephew of Abram; his deceased father Haran was Abram’s brother (Gen 11:30-32). After the death of Terah in Haran, God called Abram to resume the journey to Canaan. An embarrassing detour to Egypt when a famine struck Canaan resulted in even more gifts than they had ever had before, with courtesy from Pharaoh, who had eyes on Sarai (Gen 12:16, 13:2). Abram now had much wealth in livestock, gold and silver (Gen 13:2), but before long, a misunderstanding and a conflict arose between Abram and Lot’s herdsmen (Gen 13:7).
Abram was the winner in the dispute when he allowed Lot to pick first the land of his choice. Abram trusted God as his guide, while Lot trusted his feelings to guide him. Lot made a lousy choice because his criteria were flawed and the consequences were tragic.
The secret of joy is the contentment that Christ gives in any and every situation - whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Paul says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:12-13).
So, how does a contented man behave? What guides him? Why is contentment a safeguard against prosperity, temptation, and strife? How were Abram’s values superior to Lot’s?
SHUN QUARRELSOME PRACTICES
5Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. 6But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. 7And quarreling arose between Abram’s herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time. 8So Abram said to Lot, "Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. 9Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left." (Gen 13:5-9)
The first mark of a contented man is a disinterest in quarreling. For Abram, quarreling with anyone, especially with someone who meant a lot to him, instead of resolving a problem and salvaging a relationship was unacceptable.
My father had an elder brother, a younger brother and a younger sister, who was the youngest in the family. My quiet elder uncle married a fierce wife, the type that talks loudly, terrorizes neighbors, and unsettles people. She demands the last word in a conversation, must be one up on others, and makes sure everyone knows who is boss.
Troubles in the family began when my youngest aunt made her wedding plans. My youngest aunt was the favorite child at home because she was the youngest and the only girl in the family. For unknown reasons, her plans did not include a wedding banquet, her eldest brother’s family or anyone in the family. The wedding couple was young, poor, carefree, independent, and idealistic. My eldest aunt-in-law threw a fit, but my grandmother, the family matriarch, sided with her daughter.
The youngest sister’s family and the eldest brother’s family did not get along nor did they make up. My grandmother’s death was the last nail in the coffin for the two families. The daughter came dutifully to attend her mother’s funeral, but commotion broke out at the funeral parlor. My eldest aunt-in-law, now the new matriarch of the family, forbade the youngest daughter and her family from attending the funeral, burning incense, or paying respects.
Ever since, the two families had lost contact with each other for 30 years and counting; their kids had never talk or met. Even the adult son of my eldest aunt-in-law said this of her mother: "It’s because of my mother we do not know who our cousins are."
It’s been said: "No matter how right you are, no matter how wrong the other people are, no matter how much evidence you have to prove it, you will never get them to agree with you by arguing them down." (Bits & Pieces 1/9/92)
Shunning quarrels is wise, classy and rewarding. Abram and Lot did not quarrel with one another, but they still had to separate because their herdsmen were fiercely loyal to their masters. The matter was serious, the herdsmen were out of control, and a lot of lives were at stake. Abram knew that he and Lot were able to control themselves, but he wanted the best for both groups of herdsmen. The worse thing in conflict is to involve other groups, incite them to anger, or inflame the issue.
Abram even said “...for we are brothers.” (13:8) Was Abram really Lot’s brother? No. Abram was the uncle, deserving of family respect and first pick, but he gave Lot the right to choose. To keep the family relationship, Abram forsook his right as an older relative, lowered himself to that of a brother, and made the first move to resolve differences. Abram did not have the air of a patriarch, an uncle and or owner. Abram’s words made sense to his nephew Lot: “Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company.” (13:9) There were enough land, grain, and fortune for both. Abram was mentally clear, rationally balanced, and definitely smart in his decision. He did not allow his heart to take over or get the better of his head.
Quarrelling in the family, whether the quarrel is with a sibling, a child, a parent, an in-law, or a relative, makes losers of everyone. It frays and distances close relatives, polarizes innocent onlookers, and embroils future generations. Goodwill is hard to win and easy to lose.
SHUN QUESTIONABLE PLACES
10Lot looked up and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, toward Zoar. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) 11So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company: 12Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. 13Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the LORD. (Gen 13:10-13)
The next mark of a contented person is an avoidance of questionable places.
I know of a church leader who fell into sin on an overseas assignment. His wife and family were supposed to join him in the summer when the kids were out of school. One night, his wife received a call from a friend to fly straight to Hong Kong. She packed her bags, entrusted her kids to friends, and caught the next available flight to Hong Kong. What was the rush? Her husband, who was stationed in Hong Kong, was seen in the company of bar girls in the Mainland. How did it happen? In China? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Hong Kong? The church leader, like many erring husbands, was in a popular hotspot in Shenzhen, the city bordering Hong Kong that is a hotbed of entertainment, commerce and social activities due its close proximity to Hong Kong.
Sadly, seventeen years before, a young teenage girl had reported seeing the same leader smoking outside a nightclub. She told a few people, including the pastor, but the man denied it, and the church leaders believed the man and not the girl. Everyone thought she was mistaken then, and now all who were told felt like fools. However, the saddest thing was that the same person had played with fire, flirted with disaster, and deceived his family, friends, and church leaders for at least seventeen years.
The problem of Lot was that he was deceived by looks and feelings. What three actions characterized Lot (13:10)? He looked and saw and chose. Why did Lot choose to go east and pick the whole plain of Jordan? The plains of Jordan were well-watered, a combination of Eden and Egypt. Either Lot had forgotten his uncle’s no-win, all-lose incident in Egypt even though he was there himself, or he simply did not care! Did Pharaoh’s power, riches, gifts go to his head?
Lot went farther and farther and ended up in Sodom and Gomorrah, the place of coming destruction. Lot was an extreme risk-taker. He wanted to see how far he can go without being burned. Unlike Abram, Lot’s heart controlled his head. The pull of Sodom lured him eastward, and he ignored the obvious. His eyes grew larger, his appetite got bigger, and his heart more ambitious. His philosophy was like the bumper sticker I saw at the back of a car: "How much sin can I get away with and still get to heaven?"
Sodom and Gomorrah was a morally deceptive, spiritually depleted, and physically dangerous place. Lot was more concerned for the city to be beautiful than the people to be good. There were less than 10 righteous people in the city (Gen 18:32).
The people of the city were just not wicked; twice the Scriptures emphasized the word very or exceeding (Gen 13:13, 18:20). They were guilty of excessive, gross and constant disobedience. Genesis 14 reveals that for fourteen years Sodom was a hotbed of war, politics, and dissent (Gen 14:5). Eventually Abram had to risk his life and his 318 men’s lives to rescue Lot who planted himself right in the path of nine warring kings (Gen 14:14).
SHUN QUICK PAYOFFS
14The LORD said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, "Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. 15All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. 16I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. 17Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you." 18So Abram moved his tents and went to live near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, where he built an altar to the LORD. (Gen 13:14-18)
A few years ago, a friend who returned to Singapore after his studies in the States asked me to keep his checks and check his mail that was transferred to my house. The checks were signed so that I could pay for the credit card he charged once or twice a year in Singapore, since applying for a credit card over there was extremely hard. Along with his regular mail, I also received junk mail, magazines, and government correspondence. The toughest tasks were sending to him income tax documents and his driving license, and getting him to sign unsigned checks after the first book was finished.
The job got harder when I, too, left Los Angeles for continuing education in Chicago. I brought with me my friend’s checks, forwarded his mail to my new address, and paid his credit card bills from Chicago. The complication extended further because I was temporarily staying with my cousin! What an experience. After two years, he returned for some government business and to forward his mail to Singapore. It did not occur to him or me that banks and credit card companies were willing to send his mail even to Singapore. The two years’ odyssey felt like a lifetime to me.
Waiting for the fulfillment of God’s promise can be trying, taxing, and tiresome because God’s promises are often fulfilled in parts or by installments, and seldom all at once.
Abram knew that the Lord’s promise could be trusted; however, he also learned that the declaration and the fulfillment of God’s promise were two different things. Patience and perseverance were required to overcome panic when God’s promise was slow to arrive. The Lord reassured Abram 7 times altogether and reiterated His promise – the promise of an heir, numerous descendants, and the Promised Land (Gen 12:1-3, 13:14-17; 15:5, 17:1-8, 18:10; 21:12; 22:16-18).
The fulfillment of God’s land promise to Abram was eventually secured in the time of Joshua (Josh 23:14), a delay of more than 600 years from the day God first promised Abram. The waiting period included 180 years of his son Isaac’s life (Gen 35:28), 400 years in Egypt (Gen 15:13), and 40 years in the wilderness. The final installment of God’s promise to Abram - all the peoples on earth will be blessed through Abram (Gen 12:3) - was ultimately fulfilled not forty-two months or forty-two years later, but forty-two generations later in Jesus Christ, the Messiah, including the first fourteen generations from Abraham to David, the next fourteen generations from David to the Babylonian exile, and the final fourteen from the exile to the Christ. (Matt 1:17)
Lot, however, was not the type to wait. Lot’s decision to settle for a quick payoff was the worst kind of home purchase and real estate blunder. He boxed himself in, limited his options, and chose on impulse. His first mistake was he could only think right or left, and not whether right or wrong. Next, he fell in love only with the densely populated east, when the spacious north, south, and west (13:15), and the length and breath of the land (13:17) - up, down, and around - were available to him. Lastly, Lot chose city over suburbia or rural; he chose the cities of the plain over the great trees of Mamre, and preferred density and crowding to nature and ambience. In today’s terms, Lot was indifferent to location, neighbors, or traffic.
Conclusion: God cares for His people, provides for their needs, and keeps from danger those who believe in Him, depend on Him, and honor Him by upholding godly principles, making wise decisions, and living righteous lives. Do not let daily provisions (1 Tim 6:8), monthly pay (Lk 3:14), or changing circumstances (Phil 4:11) trouble you because only God is our fixed possession (Heb 13:5) and our continual supply (Mt 6:33, Phil 4:13).
Victor Yap
http://epreaching.blogspot.com/
riversidecma.org (For sermon series)
preachchrist.com (For Chinese sermons)
