INTRODUCTION
Opening Statement: This week I needed an oil change and car check-up for both of my vehicles, so I took both of my cars to Herb Winters at the Shell station here in town. (They do a great job. When I go in there, it feels like I’m going back in time when my own father would take me to the local filling station, buy me a Slim Jim and a Nehi orange or grape soda). After we got things squared away, Herb walked behind the station with me and said, “I want to give you something. It’s something about Father’s Day.” He handed me this piece entitled, “When I Was A Boy.”
4 yrs old My Daddy could do anything.
5 yrs old My Daddy knows everything.
6 yrs old My Dad is smarter than your dad
8 yrs old My Dad doesn’t exactly know everything.
10 yrs old When my Dad grew up in the olden days things were sure different.
12 yrs old My Dad doesn’t know anything about that, he’s too old to remember.
14 yrs old My Dad is so old fashion.
18 yrs old My Dad is really out of it.
25 yrs old My Dad knows about that, but he should, because he’s been around so long.
30 yrs old Maybe we should ask Dad?
35 yrs old I won’t do anything about that until I talk to Dad.
40 yrs old I wonder how Dad would have handled this?
50 yrs old I’d give anything if Dad were here now, so I could talk this over with him.
Some of you fondly remember your fathers. Others celebrate their fathers today who they still have with them. To all of you fathers, Happy Fathers Day. There’s one thing that we all need from our fathers and from our Heavenly Father– it’s his blessing and smile of approval on our lives.
Title: A Fathers Blessing
Illustration: In his book about fatherhood, in the chapter titled, "A Baffling Question," Bill Cosby wrote, "So you have decided to have children. You have decided to give up quiet evenings at home when you listened to good music and read good books. You have decided to give up lazy weekends when you just held each other in your arms and assured each other of your love." "You have decided to give up candlelight dinners where you could finish complete sentences. You have decided to change all your couches into trampolines. You have decided to give up your pursuit of the reproduction of fine art, and start coping with the pursuit of the reproduction of yourself. Why? That’s the baffling question." He went on, "Poets tell us that one of the reasons that we want to have children is because we desire immortality. Yes, I must confess that I asked God for a son to carry on my family name. And God did exactly what I asked Him to do. But now there are times when I ask my son not to reveal his identity. I beg him, `Make up a name. Tell them anything, but don’t tell them you belong to me, whatever you do.’" "Immortality?" he says. "Now that I am the father of five, my only hope is that I will live long enough to see all five of them leave home."
Transition: Maybe you have felt that way, too. Home is sometimes a maze of personalities and confusion and reactions. Fatherhood may be a bit confusing, but I don’t think God’s perception of what the father is to be and ought to do has changed.
Transition: So this morning I’d like for you to turn to the 27th chapter of Genesis, to the story of Isaac bestowing his blessing to Jacob. Of course, the blessing was intended for the oldest son, Esau. But through deception the blessing was given to Jacob instead. Our focus is not the deception, however, it is on the blessing.
Text: Genesis 27:25-34
Recitation: 27:25 Isaac said, "Bring some of the wild game for me to eat, my son.Then I will bless you." So Jacob brought it to him and he ate it. He also brought him wine, and Isaac drank. 27:26 Then his father Isaac said to him, "Come here and kiss me, my son." 27:27 So Jacob went over and kissed him. When Isaac caught the scent of his clothing, he blessed him, saying,
"Yes, my son smells like the scent of an open field which the LORD has blessed. 27:28 May God give you the dew of the sky and the richness of the earth, and plenty of grain and new wine. 27:29 May peoples serve you and nations bow down to you. You will be lord over your brothers, and the sons of your mother will bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed, and those who bless you be blessed.
27:30 Isaac had just finished blessing Jacob, and Jacob had scarcely left his father’s presence, when his brother Esau returned from the hunt. 27:31 He also prepared some tasty food and brought it to his father. Esau said to him, "My father, get up and eat some of your son’s wild game. Then you can bless me." 27:32 His father Isaac asked, "Who are you?" "I am your firstborn son," he replied, "Esau!" 27:33 Isaac began to shake violently and asked, "Then who else hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it all up just before you arrived and I blessed him. He will indeed be blessed!" 27:34 When Esau heard his father’s words, he wailed loudly and bitterly. He said to his father, "Bless me too, my father!"
Background: As you may remember, Isaac and Rebecca had twin sons, Esau and Jacob, who were not anything alike. Esau was an outdoorsman with hairy arms and hands and he loved hunting and fishing. Jacob was more of a homebody, and spent a lot of time with his mother. In the 27th chapter of Genesis, their father, Isaac, has grown old and blind, and he decides it is time to pass on the blessing to his oldest son. A Jewish father’s blessing was a formal passing on of the father’s honor and authority to his oldest son. And since the oldest son was assuming the leadership responsibilities of the family or tribe, he also received a double share of his father’s possessions. So the bestowing of the blessing was a very important event indeed and evidently was something that once bestowed could not be withdrawn easily.
In verses 2-4 Isaac tells Esau, "I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. Now then, get your weapons - your quiver and bow - and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die."
So Esau leaves, and while he is gone, Rebecca seizes the opportunity to secure the blessing for Jacob, who was her favorite. She quickly prepares some tasty food and tells Jacob to put on Esau’s best clothes. To help fool blind old Isaac, she puts goatskin on Jacob’s hands and arms to make them feel hairy. Then she sends him in with the food to ask for the blessing.
Listen to vs. 19, "Jacob said to his father, `I am Esau, your firstborn. I have done as you told me. Please sit up and eat some of my game so that you may give me your blessing.’" Now Isaac was suspicious because Jacob’s voice didn’t sound like Esau’s. So he asked, "How did you find it so quickly, my son?" Jacob replies, "The Lord your God gave me success."
Then vs. 21, "Isaac said to Jacob, `Come near so I can touch you, my son, to know whether you really are my son Esau or not.’ Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him and said, `The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.’ He did not recognize him, for his hands were hairy like those of his brother Esau; so he blessed him."
Now the blessing that was given is found in verses 27-29. "So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, `Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed. May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness - an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed."
After he received the blessing from his father, Jacob left. Shortly after, Esau came in with the game that he had killed and prepared, and was ready to receive his father’s blessing.
Listen to verses 33-34. "Isaac trembled violently and said, `Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him - and indeed he will be blessed!’ When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, `Bless me - me too, my father!’"
Key Word: According to some who have studied this custom and tradition, the ancient Hebrew blessing contains FOUR INGREDIENTS that ought to be present in every home today. And when those FOUR INGREDIENTS are present, and practiced consistently, then our children grow up solid, secure and confident of themselves, able to go out into the world and function normally. But if those ingredients are absent in the home, then too often the child ends up like Esau, steeped in bitterness and anger.
Transition: So let me share with you the FOUR INGREDIENTS of Isaac’s blessing – a Fathers Blessing.
I. THE FIRST INGREDIENT WAS A MEANINGFUL TOUCH
Explanation: You are blessed if you have/had a father who touched you in a meaningful way. The first ingredient was a meaningful touch. Notice vs. 22, "Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him." Vs. 26 says, "Then his father Isaac said to him, `Come here, my son, and kiss me." This is not an isolated incident in scripture. Almost every time a blessing is bestowed in Hebrew culture, it involves touching - the laying on of hands, a kiss, an embrace - something that conveys acceptance and love.
Textualization: The 10th chapter of the Gospel of Mark says that people brought children to Jesus so that He could touch them. Jesus took them and placed them on his knee, and laid His hands upon them, and the scripture says, "He blessed them." Jesus knew exactly what children need to feel loved and accepted. So He touched them and blessed them. Studies prove that touched babies and children develop much more quickly than untouched babies.
Application: It’s important to do that in our homes, too. When children are very small you can’t communicate love with words because they don’t understand words yet. But the best way to communicate love to a very small child is to demonstrate it by touching them, cuddling them, and holding them close.
Dads, don’t ever stop touching your boys, your girls in a meaningful, loving way. Deep within their soul, your touch meets a felt need. Teenage girls and boys still need to be held by their daddies. Adult men even need to be touched lovingly.
Illustration: An Aids patient in the hospital once asked my ministry professor in college, “Would you please hug me. No one wants to touch me anymore.”
II. THE SECOND INGREDIENT WAS A SPOKEN MESSAGE OF AFFECTION and LOVE
Explanation: You are blessed if you have/had a father who spoke love to you in some significant way.The second ingredient was a spoken message of affection and love. Listen as he blesses his son in the last part of vs. 27, "Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field. . ."
Now I suppose that today’s child would not consider it a compliment to be told, "You smell like a field. I just wanted you to know that." But to an old outdoorsman like Isaac, who thought he was speaking to Esau, the smell of a field about ready for harvest was a great smell. It was a compliment, a positive message that communicated his love and affection.
Application: You see, too often parents are quick to criticize and remind children of their mistakes. "You dummy, why did you spill the milk?" "You’re lazy." Words of criticism that really don’t accomplish much are often spoken. All they do is cause a child to withdraw. I think there is room for constructive criticism. But it’s more important to communicate love through words that say, "You’re worth something. You’re such a good little boy or girl. I’m glad that God gave you to us. You’re better than any Christmas present I could ever receive. Father’s Day is special just because you’re here." Those are words that communicate acceptance and love. And they need to be spoken over and over again, even when our children stumble and fall.
Illustration: Dan Benson, in his book “The Total Man,” says that for every positive word that most dads say to their children, they say 10 negative ones. They’re really good at words like “Don’t” and “You can’t” and “Stop that,” and “No.” But they’re not very good at the positive words. Benson suggests that we could change the whole personality of our relationship with our children if we just learned to be positive, and influence things in a positive way.
Illustration: When our kids were younger, we would have Levi night or Will night or Megan night. On these nights we just poor praise and love into the selected child. They drink it in.
III. THE THIRD INGREDIENT WAS THE ATTRIBUTING OF A HIGH VALUE IN PRAYER
Explanation: You are blessed if you had/have a father who speaks/spoke your name in prayer. The third ingredient of the blessing was the attributing of a high value. Notice what Isaac says in vs. 28, "May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness - an abundance of grain and new wine."
He’s saying, "You’re special, so God will give you the best He has to give." We’re constantly being told that we should teach our children to have a good, positive self-image, to build up their self-esteem. It is true.
Application: But it’s not just by words. We teach high value in a number of ways. A lot of times when a child comes, we’re so busy. We have one eye on the TV and one eye on them, and we can’t concentrate on what they’re saying. So when a child comes to talk to you, turn off the radio or TV set. Lay aside the newspaper, and look them in the eye. You’ll see wonder after wonder when you look into a child’s eyes, sparkling with excitement. They have so many things they’re anxious to tell you. So look at them, and listen to what they have to say! That communicates value. "You’re worth something. You’re more important to me than the ballgame or newspaper. You’re an extremely valuable part of our family. I’m glad God gave you to us. And whenever you have something you need to talk about, I’m here to listen to you."
IV. THE FOURTH INGREDIENT WAS THE PICTURING OF A GLORIOUS FUTURE
Explanation: You are blessed if you had/have a father who set you up to succeed. The fourth ingredient was the picturing of a glorious future. In vs. 29 Isaac says to Jacob, "May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed."
Isaac is helping him to raise his sights and see that his future is bright.
Application: We’re to help our children find their niche, discover who they are, and why they’ve been made. God made them special. So as they’re growing up, help them understand their gifts and talents, and what they’re best suited to do in life. Counsel and guide them to become the kind of person God wants, and made them to be. The mistake most of us make as parents is we try to get our children to become what we want them to be, other than what God made them to be. Two great gifts you can give to your children: roots and wings.
Observation: Kids need help in deciding what it is they want to do, where it is they want to do it, and how to give it a whole-hearted effort while being careful to balance the other responsibilities in life.
Illustration: John Dresser wrote a book titled, "If I Could Do It All Again." In it he shares 8 things that he would do differently if he could go through his years of being a father all over again. Here is what Dresser wrote:
1. "First of all, if I could do it all over again, I would love my wife more, because by loving my children’s mother more, I would create an environment of security in our home. Our love would be something they could see - something they would never have to worry about."
2. "Second, I would laugh more. I would relax and enjoy my children and laugh at their antics. I would spend more time with them and enjoy being a father."
3. "Third, I would present a more realistic model for them to follow. I would be honest with them about myself. I would let them know that I had problems in school, too, that I stumbled, and made mistakes, and failed. I would let them know that I understand, and that they can come to me when they fail, because I have been there as well."
4. "Fourth, I would listen to what they say. I would listen to their pains and problems and worries and concerns. I would listen when they wanted to talk to me, because now I realize that if I listen to them when they are small, and to their little problems, then when they are big, and have big problems, they will still come and talk with me."
5. "Fifth, I would stop praying so much for my family, and start praying more for myself, because a father’s prayers so often sound something like this, `God, make my son and daughter good people. Help them to succeed in school. Help them to find the right person to marry. Take care of them and protect them.’ We’re always praying for them, it seems." "But I would start praying more for myself, that I might be the right kind of father, realizing that when I become the right kind of father, my children will probably be the right kind of children."
6. "Sixth, I would pay more attention to little things. I would begin to appreciate the touch of love and the word of encouragement. So many times we fathers are quick to criticize their failures, and so slow to praise and encourage them when they do something right."
7. "Seventh, I would create an environment of belonging. I would want my children to know that they belong, and that they are important family members, because I realize that there are going to be people saying to them, `Join this and join that.’ But if they have a solid identity in the home and in the family they will not easily be led astray."
8. "Last, but certainly not least, I would make God an intimate friend of my family. I would use His name freely. I would communicate to them that He is involved in all our family decisions. I would want them to see me pray and read God’s Word and search for His direction and leadership."
CONCLUSION
Recapitulation: I think this is the mortar that holds a family together - A meaningful touch, a spoken message, attributing a high value, and picturing a glorious future.
Exhortation: This morning, God is the perfect parent who has conveyed to us all the ingredients of His blessing in just one verse of scripture. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. Whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life."
Application: This morning we offer God’s invitation. A loving Father reaches down to touch us, speak to us, tell us how valuable we are, and help us see the glorious future that we have in Him. If you have a decision to make this morning we invite you to come. We pray that you will respond as we stand and sing.
