Fathers
This Father’s Day message looks at the biblical meaning of “father”.
Bible Text: 1 Corinthians 4: 15
Our text reads:
For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.
Introduction
In referring to himself as the spiritual father of the Corinthian church, Paul described a very special relationship he had with this church. He said he was their father. He referred to other church leaders as having lesser roles and called them guardians, or as other translations put it, teachers, or tutors. In describing his unique position as father Paul gave the ratio of 10,000:1 in stating the rarity of his role.
Though the reason Paul had for asserting himself in this manner was that he might bring correction to the church, his statement reflects a lamentable fact of life experienced by many in every generation. Sadly, when it comes to the presence of true fathers, many in this world are forced to live in a huge vacuum. No shortage deprives children of the necessities of life more than the shortage of fathers.
In this message we will explore the biblical meaning of “father” and to do this we will look at some of what the Bible reveals about the nature of our heavenly Father. It is my purpose to encourage men to function with confidence and effectiveness in their roles as fathers. I also hope that the things I say will bring a measure of healing to those who have lived their lives without the benefit of a true father.
A Father Blesses
The conferring of blessing is an important theme seen throughout the whole Bible. At creation the very first thing God did after bringing the first man and woman into existence was to bless them. Thus, the act of creation itself was not complete in and of itself. The added “blessing” was a must if man was to realize his potential as being created in the image and likeness of God. Similarly, a man cannot say he functions as a father by procreating alone. To be a father he must “bless” his children at every stage of their lives.
Prior to his death, Jacob blessed his twelve sons. In blessing each son he spoke words to each one individually, words that helped to define them.
All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said to them when he blessed them, giving each the blessing appropriate to him. Genesis 49:28
Jacob recognized the uniqueness of each of his sons and each of his blessings was different. This recognition could only come from an intimate relationship with each son. He knew the ability and gifts of each one and contributed to their development on an individual basis.
In the New Testament we read:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3
In creation God blessed. In re-creation through Christ he blesses again. The first chapter of Ephesians proceeds to describe three blessings of the Father, three of the Son and three of the Holy Spirit, a triple triad of blessings. Together the three donors, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, along with the nine blessings they give, provide us with a complete redemption. There are absolutely no deficits, nothing else to add, nothing else needed to enable us to function in fullness as God’s children.
This describes the purpose of the blessing. Now let’s consider the process itself.
In his role as Father, God created the first man and woman in his image and likeness. Mankind understood clearly that his self-image was a reflection of his Father’s. This made their relationship with God very desirable, fulfilling and functional. The first man and woman knew they were unique, that they were the created and God was the Creator.
There was no doubt that they were separate from God. They also knew they were connected, joined in a love unity with their heavenly Father in a spirit of openness, oneness and in an absence of shame. (Genesis 2:25) It is important to note that in describing the nature and character of man’s first relationship with God, that which was absent was as important as that which was present.
A father who blesses and curses produces identity confusion, instability, insecurity and forms the basis for many shame based character developers. James said:
Out of the same mouth proceed blessings and cursing. My brethren these things ought not to be. James 1:11
Children who are told they are stupid, useless, and no good or are referred to with very derogatory words, are being shaped by the curse. They develop a shame-based identity. Children, who hear encouraging words and words of endearment, are shaped by the blessing. They develop a blessing-based identity. Our words have creative power. God created by his word and since we are made in his image, so do we.
We understand from the Bible that the purpose of God in creating man was to form a being with whom he could have a close love relationship, but who, nonetheless, was separate, unique and apart from Him. It may sound like a contradiction, but our ability to define our uniqueness and our individuality is directly proportional to our ability to be connected to another. Sin, of course, destroyed our connection with God. This gave rise to every manner of identity confusion and behavioral problem that has plagued our race since Adam.
Psychologists refer to an individual’s ability to connect and at the same time discover his/her individuality as the relatedness/separateness dialectic. Personality struggles and behavioural dysfunction are borne out of an absence of acceptance and connection.
Children readily bond with their mothers. This begins in the womb, continues in infancy on the mother’s breast, and develops throughout the formative childhood years to the degree that mother is “present”. A mother’s function enables her to readily connect and bond with her child(ren). This is the reason courts usually award primary custody to the maternal parent in settling child custody cases. Generally, a child feels more secure and more comfortable with mother.
Since from conception a child’s survival is directly dependent on mother, the father’s role is seen as less consequential. This however, is a great mistake.
A loving father calls his child away from his/her mother. Through the simple act of picking up and cuddling his baby, a father enables the infant to experience the “other” parent in a safe secure manner that soon becomes desirable. This calling away from mother is not a violation of the mother/child connected-ness. In fact, the contrary is true. Through separation from mom a child discovers his/her identity in a manner that would be otherwise lost. To know nothing but mother connected- ness results in an enmeshing of persons that can be so severe neither adequately discovers or expresses their individuality.
In calling away from mother a father calls to himself and this process is the environment in which the “blessing” finds its meaning. The paradox in all this is the more a child experiences healthy separateness, the greater is his/her ability to connect in healthy fulfilling relationships.
Our Heavenly Father’s Love for Us
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
The message in this verse may very well have caused more people to accept Christ as personal Saviour and Lord than any other in the Bible. No statement fills us with greater awe, none is more endearing, that this.
Here we discover the blessing of our heavenly Father’s love. Here we discover acceptance with God, acceptance previously lost and which we were unable to find. The extent of our heavenly Father’s blessing on us is seen in the sacrifice that he made to provide it. He gave his only begotten Son, Jesus, and gave him to the point where Jesus suffered and died for us. Thus, as adopted sons and daughters, we experience the Father’s love to be equal to the love he has for his begotten Son.
In the relationship God the Father has with Jesus his Son, we see the relatedness/separateness dialectic in perfection. That they were separate individuals there is no doubt. That they were connected to the degree they were one, is the mystery of the Trinity, is the mystery of unity, the mystery of oneness. Nowhere are these two elements of the divine relationship more apparent than when, while hanging on the cross, God the Father turned his face from his Son. At no other time in eternity past or in eternity future did this, or will this, ever happen again. The tearing of Son from Father was so cataclysmic that even nature itself reacted with a darkness that covered the earth. As traumatic as the separation was much more triumphant was the connection when in glorious resurrection the Son was joined once again to his Father. In that union most glorious, is our own restored union with God. In Christ our identity is restored. The discovery of true person hood is made possible. In Christ, the conferring of the Father’s blessing, the giving of honour, dignity and blessing is released to all who will receive it.
This is what a father does. In love he gives until there is nothing left to give.
Back to Corinth
When Paul spoke of his peculiar father relationship with the Corinthian believers he did so in a context of discipline. He stated:
I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children.
1 Corinthians 4:14
The Corinthian church was full of problems. It was filled with division. Brother was taking brother to court over church disputes. Immoral behaviour, more debased than practiced in the world, was present. There was confusion and partiality at the Lord’s table. Respect for headship was abandoned. Consideration for others gave way to a practice of libertarianism to the point where the needs and consideration of others were abandoned. It was a church in chaos.
What they needed was a father.
Our world is a landscape of human broken-ness. People are broken in many ways. They are broken sexually. The meaning and joy of human sexuality has been lost to many. The Bible says that when God created us he created us male and female. The joy of sexual union that can only be truly discovered when practiced according to the designer’s blueprint is lost to most.. Many don’t even realize there is a blueprint.
Nothing is more tragic than a father/child relationship where the child’s sexuality is violated.
Nothing is more wonderful that a father/child relationship where the father honours the sexuality of his child.
A girl’s acceptance of her own femininity, of her developing womanhood, is first discovered in a wholesome father/daughter relationship. This enables the girl to trust and later seek a relationship with a man who is also trustworthy. Conversely, a sexually violated child is shamed to the point where she confers little value on herself and later gravitates to relationships that do the same.
A boy’s acceptance of his maleness, his manhood, does not just happen automatically. It is conferred through his father’s blessing.
The power of acceptance or rejection resides in the person called “father”.
Such is the power of “father”. Such is the need for true fathers.
Pure Religion
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27.
One might think that the definition the Bible gives for pure religion would be one that gives primary emphasis to doctrinal purity, given its importance. Notice however, that God is referred to in this passage in his role as Father. As Father, nothing is more important to him than caring for those who are orphans and widows, in other words, the fatherless. He uses the word “distress” in describing what it is to live life devoid of a father.
In counseling people over 35 years of pastoral ministry, I have found no issues greater to resolve than those created by an absent or abusive father.
No expression of Christian ministry is more important than that which helps a person fill the father voids of their heart. Nothing influences a person to pursue a relationship with God more than experiencing a true spiritual father’s blessing in the context of moral purity practiced by an authentic New Testament church.
In calling us to “visit” the fatherless, God did not intend for us to merely establish a Monday night 60 minute visitation program. He beckons us to create an environment of true fatherhood that blesses, loves and releases each member of the church to their full potential as one who has the best father of all, the heavenly Father.
For those who have never had a true father, Father’s Day is often experienced with a great deal of conflicted-ness. Longings for father are powerful. Memories of father are painful. In blessing you today, Father’s Day, it is my prayer that you will reach out to receive from the truest of all fathers, your heavenly Father. In him alone are found the most abundant and best of all blessings.
Amen!
Scripture quotations are from the NKJV of the Bible
Sermon preached by Bruce Morrison
At Emmanuel English Church, Hong Kong
June 16, 2003
