How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days
Matthew 28:18-20
True story – Football team getting killed – guy fumbles and it rolls over by a teammate. The guy that fumbles yells, “pick it up” to which his teammate responds, “You pick it up. You dropped it.”
Well, I’ll tell you what, God is looking for some Christians, some church congregations that are willing to pick up the ball and run with it. And no matter what the opposition or the risks, or the fears, to realize you can’t score, you can’t make a difference unless your willing pick up the ball and do something with it.
Jesus gave us our commission in Matthew 28 where he said “All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me, therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded..….
He’s saying, here’s the plan, here’s the agenda, now pick up the ball and run with it.
Unfortunately, across this country you will find church after church after church that is afraid to pick up the ball. Afraid to take a risk. Afraid to try something new. Afraid to make themselves vulnerable, and so what we see is church after church after church where people come in the doors and walk back out and don’t come back.
I titled this message “How to lose a guy in ten days”. The problem is that most churches usually lose them in about 10 minutes. Because they walk in the doors and they find places where people are fighting over music and traditions are more important than people’s salvation. They find churches doing things and looking the way they did forty years ago. They find attitudes that are holier-then-thou. They find lots of things, but too rarely do they find a community of believers that are loving, accepting, merciful, and genuinely concerned about people’s needs.
And yes there are risks to being that type of church. It can be challenging and stretching and uncomfortable. But we need to realize that we were never put here to just a warm a pew on Sunday or put in our time. We were put here to make a difference.
It was C.S. Lewis that said “If Christianity is real, then it stands to reason that those who become Christians should be better people than they were before.”
And we should. And we should make a difference. This community should not be the same as it would be if Olathe Christian Church wasn’t here.
Now, if we don’t want to make a difference. If we want to be the type of church that loses a guy in ten days or ten minutes. If we want to be a church that doesn’t make a difference in the lives of people then here are some basic ingredients to make us that kind of church.
If we want to be a church that loses people, that is not effective then:
#1 - Make traditions more important than people
I came across an article called, Ways to know your church is unfriendly. Here are some ways:
When the sign out front says – For members only
When the parking lot has a sign that says – unauthorized vehicles will be towed at owners expense.
When the church lobby has a sign that says – no loitering
When you say “Praise the Lord” and the guy behind you says – we don’t do that here.
When the pastors message is entitled “The Theological Significance of the eschatological dimensions of the sanctified life in the pre-millennial view of predestination.”
When they pass the plate – twice
When, at fellowship, coffee is $1.50 and donuts are $1.00 – limit one.
When the church’s motto is – We’re getting smaller but purer.
And we can add one - When traditions are more important then people’s needs.
You show me a church that’s losing people and I’ll show you a church that puts more emphasis on church traditions than on people’s salvation. I can almost guarantee it.
And the sad thing is that America is filled with them.
I heard a minister say one time, If 1950 ever rolls back around our church will be in a perfect position to reach people.
But 1950 isn’t going to roll around and so if we want to reach people and not lose them right away we need to be willing to know where people are, take some risks, make changes, be uncomfortable, in short, pick up the ball and run with it. And sometimes, sometimes traditions need to take a back seat.
Jesus warned about it, taught about it, modeled it, but so many still don’t get it. Throughout the bible we see Jesus breaking the traditions for a more important cause. One of the obvious ones was the healing of people on the Sabbath Day. The Religious leaders of the day considered that to be work and thus broke the Sabbath tradition of resting and not working.
And almost every time Jesus responded in the same way by saying that people’s hurts were always more important than traditions.
And yet how many churches refuse to make changes, refuse to do anything new to reach out to lost and hurting people because of those seven big words “We’ve never done it that way before”.
Do you know how many churches operate on that phrase? And people are going to hell, and needs are not being met, because churches are too afraid to go against traditions and do the things we need to do to change people’s lives.
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by the monks. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which they were suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered "Well, I guess whenever it breaks."
I’ll tell you what, sometimes that’s what it takes to get a church to move or change something, and those churches are losing people and missing their call.
Dick Alexander wrote the following. He said, “With the (amount) human need touching us today, the church can scarcely afford business as usual. In practice, many traditional churches view their mission as holding Sunday services, satisfying the members and doing a little good here and there. Such churches are on the way out. In a few years they will be dinosaurs. Not because their doctrine is bad, but because they’ve lost their mission. Only churches serious about rescuing the hurting will survive and make a difference.”
Well, a church that loses people is a church where traditions are more important than the needs of people.
#2 - If you want to have a church that loses people then water down the Gospel.
It’s an amazing thing. People think to have a vibrant, growing church you need to water down the Gospel and don’t preach on sin, don’t challenge people, don’t step on toes, and don’t ask much of anyone.
But you know what we find, when we look around at the churches that are growing and keeping people, they’re most often the churches that have stood fast on the absolute truth of Scripture.
There’s a movement called the Alpha Project” (Alpha being the first letter of the Greek alphabet signifying the beginning). It’s a movement that began in England and is now sweeping through 2000 mainline Liberal churches in America that have been dying. And what is the movement? They are returning to the Alpha, to the Bible, to the truth and it’s revitalizing them.
#3 - A church that loses people is a church that makes worship a thing to endure rather than a God honoring, meaningful experience.
Psalm 42:1 says “As the deer pants for water so my soul pants for you O God.” Does that describe worship for you. A meaningful experience in which we search for God. Does the describe worship in the majority of churches that you know.
Howard Hendrix in his book “Exit Interviews” asked people who had left churches why they left, and he said many of them said, “I just didn’t find God there.”
Why, because God is a God of love, and a God of emotion and excitement. And that does not describe worship in most churches.
It’s like church where a visitor came in. And he found the people to be some of the coldest, grumpiest people he’d ever met. And he finally asked the man sitting next to him, “Does anyone ever smile here?” And the man said, “I don’t know, I’ve only been coming here for three years.”
Psalm 122:1 says, I rejoiced with those who said to me, let us go to the house of the Lord.” Do you feel that way? Is the worship service something people look foreword to? I hope so.
# 4 – Churches that are losing people are churches that have no vision for the future.
I think sometimes the biggest plans that most churches have are to make sure the doors are open next Sunday. Where are the dreamers, the visionaries, those willing to try something new or big. Something that’s dependant on God.
There’s a great story in the book of Luke chapter 24. It concerns the two men on the road to Emmaus. It takes place after the death of Jesus. And Jesus appears alongside these two guys but keeps himself hidden in the sense that they don’t recognize who he is. And they’re down and discouraged and Jesus says to them, “What’s wrong?” And they say, “Well, it’s Jesus he died and yet we had hoped that he would be the one to restore Israel to power.”
Now I want you to think about that. Jesus came to redeem spiritually all mankind that will turn to him, to restore our relationship to God the father, to deliver the defeating blow to Satan, to ensure that all who follow him, will never have to really die. What an awesome Mission that he had. And yet the hope these men had was limited only to what they could see. “We had hoped he would be the one to bring us to political power.”
They weren’t lacking in faith, they were lacking in vision. And aren’t we as well. So often, our dreams, our visions, our hopes are so limited in regard to what God wants for us. And we see that not only as a church but in our individual lives.
We say, God, don’t let me go through that trial, not realizing that going through that trial is the only thing that will prepare me for what lays ahead.
We say God, let me be financially comfortable, not rich just comfortable, not realizing that that comfort may be the very thing which draws me away from God.
We say God, take away my sickness, not realizing that by enduring through my sickness I may be used by God to bring other people into relationship with Him.
And these men were saying, God, let Jesus be the one to restore Israel to political power, not realizing that Jesus would be the one to restore all believes back into God’s family. Our problem is not a lack of faith, but a lack of vision.
Prov. 29:18 in the KJV says, "Where there is no vision the people perish." How true that is to life..
Walt Disney died before the completion of Disney World in Florida. At the dedication of the theme park, someone said to his wife, "I wish Walt could have seen this." She replied, "He did." It’s called vision.
Healthy churches have a vision, they try something new, they take risks. Dying churches are content to do it the same way they always have.
The average church, across all denominations, the average church in America last year increased in attendance by one person. One. In the last ten months we’ve gone from an average attendance of about 280 to over 400.
Why? Because we’ve tried new things, and we’ve expanded and started new classes and new worship services.
Are we content? No. And we need to expand that vision. Maybe what worked in the past, still works. Great, we’ll keep it. But maybe it doesn’t. And we don’t change the message. But the methods need to be examined from time to time.
When you look at a box of Wheaties, who do you see on the cover? You don’t see Arnold Palmer, you see Tiger Woods. The ingredients don’t change but the packaging does.
Methods are many doctrines are few,
Doctrine never change, Methods always do.
We need a vision to know where people are and what their needs are and what best helps them come to Christ in today’s society. And we need a vision for that.
Lets go on. #5 - Churches that lose people are churches that underestimate the need for prayer.
They quit talking to God. Now sometimes people have the hardest time just talking to someone else.
Milton Berle tells about the guy that really had trouble talking to women, he just got so embarassed that he’d get tongue tied. So he went to a bookstore to see if he could find a book that might help him overcome his shyness. There on the shelf he saw a book called Ways to Women. he got so excited he spent all the money he had, he bought the book, rushed home, opened it up and there discovered that he’d bought volume ten of the encyclopedia "Ways to Women".
Well sometimes people have the hardest time just talking to someone else. And that includes prayer. But it shouldn’t be. Prayer is just a conversation with God and yet it holds such power and such significance. And I can tell you this, No great movement or revival ever started without prayer. And no great church was ever built or sustained without praying people. Dying church quit praying.
#6 Churches that lose people don’t Focus on the Youth
According to statistics, 80% percent of all salvation decisions are made before the age of 18. Now if one of our main goals is to reach people and bring them to a salvation decision, and 80% of those decisions are made by people under the age of 18, then you tell me where the church better focus. It’s not hard to figure out.
Now I’m not saying we neglect other ages, I’m just saying that those under 18 better be a point of emphasis if were going to have a healthy growing church.
Now All my Chrisitan life I’ve heard a phrase that I understand, but I don’t necessarily agree with. The phrase is that "our youth are the church of tomorrow". I understand what they are saying but I disagree with it, because I think the youth are just as much a part of the church of Today.
Who are the most evangelistic people in the church. Who brings the most friends.
Whose friends end up bringing their families.
Often times it’s the youth of the church. Are we doing the things to reach and focus on the youth of the community.
Have you encouraged a young person recently for their attendance at church? Have you encouraged your grandkids, your nieces and nephews to come to church with you..
Dying churches are very quiet places. Crying babies aren’t heard. Yelling kids aren’t heard. because their doing nothing to reach the youth, to reach families with young children.
#7 and last - Churches that lose people are churches that don’t challenge anyone to make decisions.
There’s been a push in recent years to not make anyone uncomfortable that is visiting your church. And to a degree that makes sense.
I have a cartoon in my office that shows a couple who are visiting a church. And the husband and wife have spotlights focused on them, they have huge dunce caps on their heads that say visitor and they have flashing visitor badges pinned to their shirts. And the husband says to the wife, this is the last time I tell anyone I’m visiting the church.
Well, certainly people don’t want that kind of attention, and we don’t need to do that, but what happens is we let the pendulum swing too far the other way and people come for years and years and are never called on to make a decision.
People that have never been baptized and yet they know God’s asked them to do that. People that have never taught or gotten involved in a ministry and yet they know that’s what is in God’s plan for them. People that have never tithed or invited a friend or used their gifts for the kingdom.
And part of the reason is that no one’s ever challenged them to make that decision.
In Joshua 24:15 Joshua calls on the people to make a decision. For God or not for God, but don’t live in the middle. Decide once and for all. And Dying churches don’t challenge anyone because they don’t want to offend anyone, don’t want to push anyone, and as a result are not reaching anyone.
Well, that’s seven ways. You want to lose a guy in days or ten minutes, you want a church that loses people, then we need to do these seven things:
Make traditions more important than people.
Water down the Gospel.
Make worship a thing to endure.
Have no vision for the future.
Underestimate the need for prayer.
Don’t focus on the youth
And don’t call for anyone to make a decision.
Well, what about you? Is there a decision that you are ready to make....
