No doubt we love our children and think they’re wonderful. But if you ever need proof of the perversity of human nature, just watch the children. If you ever doubt the Biblical idea that all sin and come short of the glory of God, just stop at the playground and watch a while. Children fight. Children abuse one another. Kids speak cruel words to each other. Mayor Williams spoke just this week about being teased when he was a child, and commented, “Children can be mean.” That’s right, they can. They bloody noses and bruise bodies and tear each other up on a regular basis.
But children are clever too. They are smart. And it isn’t long before they figure out that if you bloody somebody’s nose, he is going to bloody yours. It doesn’t take long for them to discover that if you call somebody a vicious name, she will find an even worse one to call you. Kids find out very fast that starting fights may not be all that much fun.
But there is something else that is fun. There is something else children do. And, frankly, we don’t forget it when we grow up. There is a little game we play.
Imagine the scene. Johnny and Jimmy are leaning up against the school wall, scoping out the girls. Exactly why, they don’t know, but somebody told them that’s what cool guys do –put on dark glasses, lean up against the wall, and scope out the girls. Johnny says to Jimmy, as Mary saunters along, “Get a load of that Mary. She’s growing fast. She’s taller than all the guys in our class. Hey, Jimmy, I guess you couldn’t even reach up far enough to give her a kiss!” Later that afternoon Jimmy and Mary are at the same library table, and so Jimmy says to Mary, “You know what Johnny said about you today? Johnny said you were a big tall freak and no guy in his right mind would ever want to kiss you.” Now Mary, being a girl, and therefore inherently smarter than the dumb jocks leaning up against the wall, stops and steams for a moment before she says anything. She lets it sink in, this sickening notion that these two guys are talking about her; and then with careful, measured words, words calculated to do the most damage, in a surgically precise way, Mary replies to Jimmy, “You can tell Johnny for me that I am not tall; I am statuesque. And that I will choose who gets to kiss me, thank you very much. Got that, idiot?!”
Jimmy is off like a streak of lightning, and finds Johnny. “Hey, Johnny. About Mary. She told me to tell you that the only reason you talk about how tall she is is that you are a puny runt who is never going to grow up. And that far as kissing is concerned, she’ll be glad for you to kiss her on the knee, because that’s as far up as your face is ever going to get.”
And then Johnny said … and Mary said … and Jimmy said to both of them … what’s going on here? What is the name of this game? The game is called, “Let’s You and Him Fight.” “Let’s You and Him Fight”, a game in which the idea is to get two people so upset with each other that they’ll slug it out, and all you have to do is lean back and watch it happen! “Let’s You and Him Fight” is a game where you can lead others who didn’t even know they had a disagreement to become lifelong bitter enemies! And you get out of it unscathed and untouched. Why, you can even occupy the moral high ground and, after you have done your dirty work of misrepresenting and telling half-truths and twisting things … after you have done all of that you can be so lofty, “Isn’t it a shame how these people treat each other? Did you ever see such awful behavior in all your life?”
“Let’s You and Him Fight.” A game we know well. A reporter says, “Mr. Vice-president, there’s a word out that Governor Bush has called you a crook. What you do think of him?” Let’s You and Him Fight. One of your co-workers sidles up to your desk and says, “I hate to tell you this, but do you know what the boss is saying about you? He told Bill who told Jane who told me that your work doesn’t measure up and he’s going to reprimand you. Oh, let me tell you, I’m on your side. It’s just not fair.” Do you recognize the game? Let’s You and Him Fight. By the way, you can count on it, when someone says, “I hate to tell you this”, the truth is he loves to tell you this! It gives him a chance to start a rousing round of “Let’s You and Him Fight.” It won’t be long before Mount St. Helens erupts, World War III is fought, and over here in the corner sits your informant, fat and sassy, enjoying every moment! Oh, “Let’s You and Him Fight” is a popular game!
Paul was sharp enough to see that game when he dealt with the Christians of Corinth. The church in Corinth presented many issues, but right up front, at the very core of everything else, was a huge game of “Let’s You and Him Fight.” But Paul was too sharp to play that game! Paul wouldn’t be drawn into that conflict! And in Paul’s strategy there are some things for us to learn.
I
First, if you would defeat the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight”, learn that it works only on those who are insecure. You will be drawn into “Let’s You and Him Fight” only if you do not know who you are. If you live in integrity, you will not listen to the siren sound designed to draw you into an argument. But if you have to have the approval of others, you are going to get hurt by the game, “Let’s You and Him Fight.”
Paul tells the Corinthian Christians exactly what he has heard about them:
For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there are quarrels among you, my brothers and sisters. What I mean is that each of you says, "I belong to Paul," or "I belong to Apollos," or "I belong to Cephas," or "I belong to Christ." Has Christ been divided?
I’m caught by that phrase, “Reported by Chloe’s people.” I’ll wager that whoever they are, Chloe’s people are the ones who started the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight” in Corinth. Reported by Chloe’s people, who can’t stand it that their leader isn’t as prominent as Cephas, better known as Peter. Reported by Chloe’s people, who know that Chloe, whoever she is, is not as eloquent as Apollos. Tattled by Chloe’s people, who figure that Sister Chloe is not going to go down in history as a church planter, like Paul. So Chloe’s people are running around whispering about other groups in the church. They whisper that the Cephas people are too uppity; that the Apollos people are aloof; that the Paul people are too aggressive. And they reserve their utmost scorn for those church members who say, “Oh, I just love Jesus. Forget all those others, I don’t need anybody but Jesus.” Chloe’s people have begun the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight”.
But can you see that the whole thing would be a non-issue if everyone were secure in a relationship to Christ? If you are in Christ, you do not need to be in the right group; all you need is an authentic relationship to Christ. If you are in Christ, you do not need to be surrounded by yes-men; all you need is to know that you are doing the will of God. Paul skewers the whole game with one magnificent, on-target question, “Has Christ been divided?” “Has Christ been divided?”
And of course He has not. We belong first to Him, and therefore to each other. We belong first to Christ, and we get our security in that relationship. We find out that we are loved and accepted in Christ. When your mind is stayed on that, nobody can trap you with the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight”
Several years ago, someone came to me and said, “I just visited such-and-such church a few blocks over. They asked me what church I normally attend, and I told them Takoma Park. Then they said, “Oh, I used to know one of the pastors over there. Cold as a fish, and the one you got now isn’t much better.”” You know, that thing sat with me and ate at me and nibbled at my insides. That thing troubled me for weeks; I couldn’t shake it, until I realized exactly what was happening – somebody had decided to pull me into a game of “Let’s You and Him Fight”. And it was working! It was working! It worked as long as I let it work. It worked as long as I focused on my feelings, my reputation, my this, my that. As long as I focused on me and not on Christ, I made room for the game to tear me down.
But I tell you, once you know, deep down, that the Lord of all things loves you, it will not matter what others say about you. Once you know, deep down, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting all that other garbage, then playing “Let’s You and Him Fight” will no longer have any hold on you. For when you are in a relationship with Christ, you don’t get your self-esteem from others; you get it from Him, down in your soul. You don’t find your identity from others, but you find it in what Christ brings you Himself.
Yolanda, when you get to seminary, you are going to find some professors who are so good that you are going to want to be just like them. You are going to find some role models. And that’s fine – unless finding role models makes you want to put other people down. Unless finding someone who rings your chimes makes you want to dampen the spirits of others. They tell the story about my seminary, Southern Baptist Seminary, about how influential one of the Old Testament professors was. John R. Sampey was one of the world’s premier Old Testament scholars in his day. He not only taught the Old Testament, he also made imitation Sampeys. So much so, the story goes, that because Dr. Sampey had been wounded as a young soldier in the Confederate Army, and thus walked with a limp, his admirers all shuffled across the seminary campus, dragging one leg in a limp!
Yolanda, don’t limp. Walk on your own two feet. Let them teach you, of course. But don’t be anyone’s clone. The Lord only made one Yolanda Sampson (did I hear an amen to that!), and He wants you to be you! But the only way you can be you and not be drawn into the petty quarrels and the snide factions that always show up on seminary campuses is for you to know Christ. It is for you to be in Christ. It is for the life you live in the flesh to live by faith in the son of God, who loves you and gave himself for you. Anything short of that, and you are asking for insecurity, you are asking to be drawn into a vicious game of “Let’s You and Him Fight.”
Remember, the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight” works only when we are insecure in our relationship to Christ. But when you wake up each morning with your mind stayed on Jesus; when you see that all that matters is that He died for you, this game is utterly powerless. It just won’t work.
II
But not only did Paul stay out of the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight” by focusing on his relationship to Christ; he also dismissed the game by refusing to compete. Paul just wouldn’t allow them to draw him in to a competition where there really wasn’t one.
Now, Yolanda, you are going to a non-denominational seminary, which means there will be students from all kinds of churches there. Presbyterians and Pentecostals, Methodists and Mennonites, Episcopalians, evangelicals, and everybody. In all of that mix, you may need to know who the other Baptists are, so that you can huddle with them and point fingers at everybody else! Let me give you a sure-fire test, by which you can figure out who the Baptists are. The Baptist preachers will be the ones who, on Monday mornings, bring their church bulletins in and brag about the statistics! How many we had in Sunday School, how many we had in worship, how many dollars we raised for this and that, how many new members we got. Mark it down! Baptists live by the numbers; we are a competitive brand of folks!
And so it is with some sadness I have to point out that the apostle Paul was obviously not a Baptist preacher. This must not have been the First Baptist Church of Corinth. Because I don’t know anybody among Baptist pastors who would ever say what he said:
Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, so that no one can say that you were baptized in my name. (I did baptize also the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I do not know whether I baptized anyone else.)
Man, this guy didn’t think he’d baptized anybody, and then remembered that, oh, yes, I guess there were a few. But beyond that, I don’t even know! What kind of a guy is this? This is a man who absolutely refuses to play the competitive game! This is a man who is not interested in getting credit! This is an apostle who is so in love with what he is doing that he will not let the human need for success get hold! He is immune to the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight,” because he simply will not compete! “Let’s You and Him Fight” will have no hold on you if you don’t care about getting credit for what you do.
When I was a chaplain at Howard University, one of my colleagues came up with something truly unique. He got some students together for a game of volleyball, and then he told them, “This is not going to be your ordinary volleyball game. This is cooperative volleyball. In cooperative volleyball, the aim is to help the person on the other side return the ball! You don’t spike it; you lay it gently over the net so that she has a chance to get under it. You don’t shoot for the baselines, so that he has to run like mad; you put it in the middle, so that it’s easy to reach.” Cooperative volleyball! Does that sound crazy to you? It sounds crazy in a competitive world, yes. But what if we just refuse to compete and decide to cooperate? What if we just refuse to take sides? As they said back in the 60’s, “What if they gave a war and nobody came?”
You cannot be hurt by the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight” if you simply choose not to compete, if you get over having to be a success all the time. For our Lord Jesus:
…made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him …
Authentic living is not about whether you and I do better than somebody else. Authentic living is about whether we live in faith before God, doing what God calls us to do. Authentic living is not about whether I’ve compiled more brownie points than the next person. Authentic living is about serving others and doing the will of God, no matter who gets the credit.
I can be a pretty aggressive person; I do care about success. I want to grow this church. So, frankly, it used to crucify me just a little when someone would worship here for several weeks and then, after my visit, would say, “Well, Pastor, I’ve decided to join another church.” That hurt! But, you know, I’ve learned that my success is not what matters; that this church’s numerical success is not what matters. What matters is the Kingdom’s success. And so now when I visit people who are looking for a church home, I try to say, “We would love to have you at Takoma, and I will tell you all about it. But ultimately what I want is Kingdom success. What I want is for you to find your way into some church, as the Lord leads, and to serve there.”
If we simply refuse to play the game of “Let’s You and Him Fight,” it will go away. It will have no more power over us. The song says, “Let’s forget about ourselves and concentrate on Him.” If whatever we do is for the Kingdom and not for ourselves, “Let’s You and Him Fight” will have no power over us.
III
For, in the end the will of God and the way of the world are at cross-purposes. God’s will and the world’s way are entirely opposite. The world’s way is to get us to fight one another; God’s will is at cross-purposes, for God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself.
The world’s way is to tempt us to put down one another; God’s will is at cross-purposes, for Christ died for all, as all are sinners, and all are in need of grace and forgiveness. There is no room either to be superior or inferior.
The world’s way is to get us to destroy one another; God’s will is at cross-purposes, for the glory of the cross is that there God in Christ confronted all the powers of sin and evil and death and brought them to their knees. Death and its allies have no more dominion over us. We inherit life, not death; peace, not hostility; hope, not despair.
The world’s way is to call attention to our differences – who is intelligent and who is stupid, who is educated and who is ignorant, who is rich and who is poor. But God’s will is at cross-purposes, for:
… God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are, so that no one might boast in the presence of God. He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus …
The way of the world is to point with pride to the fights it has caused. But, praise His name, the will of God is to turn us from all such foolishness to the very source of life, Jesus Christ. The will of God is to take the swirl of insecurity and the fierce competitiveness of our game of “Let’s You and Him Fight” – to take it all to the cross, and leave it there. Leave it there!
So, today, we proclaim Christ crucified – Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. We proclaim Christ crucified – how foolish that looks to a world that exploits insecurities! How off the mark that looks to a world that wants us to compete with one another! But how powerful, how infinitely powerful, to those who know Christ. It is when we do know Him that we can truly say:
We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
