Multifarious Human Relationships
Hierarchy, Involution, Influence, And Mutability
Introduction
1. Forming relationships is both natural and essential to our well-being:
"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18)
2. In this lesson we shall examine several aspects of the relationships we are likely to experience in our lifetime, and consider the Biblical guidelines for each.
I. Hierarchy And Involution
A. Throughout our lifetime we will form relationships with people in various circles:
1. Family relationships: husband and wife, parent and child, etc.
2. Brethren.
3. Friends (from all circles).
4. Colleagues (work, school, etc.).
5. Associates (Lawyers, shopkeepers, workmen, etc.).
6. Social (Slimming club, golf club, scouts, etc).
B. The nature of these differing relationships demands an appropriate behavior:
1. The relationship between a husband and wife is the most unique and intimate of all relationships. The aspects of our thinking, speech, and behavior around our spouse is not comparable to that when in the presence of others of the opposite sex. The following Scriptures indicate this:
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." (1 Corinthians 7:2-4)
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33)
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." (Hebrews 13:4)
2. The relationship we have with our brethren differs with that from non-Christians:
a. What profit would there be in discussing your struggle to live the Christian life with a work colleague?
b. How can you have any fellowship with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14).
3. The relationship you have with your boss differs from that which you have with fellow workers. Would you ask a fellow worker for a pay rise?
4. The relationship you have with your children is different from that which you have with other children. Would you discipline another persons child or give them a weekly allowance?
Summary
1. The relationships we form with other people are indeed varied and complex. The kind of relationship and the emotional investment depends on a number of factors.
2. It is essential that we recognise, not only that relationships are multifarious, but also that our thinking, speech, and behavior must vary accordingly.
II. Biblical Instruction Regarding Our Behavior
A. The Scriptures contain instructions regarding our thinking, speech, and behavior that is appropriate to varies relationships:
1. The relationships we have considered so far may be labeled ‘Approved’.
2. But there are some relationships that must be avoided altogether!
B. It is not within the scope of this lesson to examine the instructions regarding every possible relationship. Instead, we shall consider some of the most salient.
1. The Lord recognised that, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18a), and so made a comparable helper for him (Genesis 2:18b). When a man and women marry they become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
a. This relationship demands:
1) A full commitment because it is a permanent arrangement (1 Corinthians 7:39).
2) A recognition of one’s roles and duties (1 Corinthians 7:3-5; 11:3; Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Timothy 1:15; 1 Peter 3:1-7).
3) Purity:
"So then if, while her husband lives, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress." (Romans 7:3a)
"But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Matthew 5:28)
"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." (Hebrews 13:4)
b. Application: the deepest and most fulfilling of human relationships is that which exists between a man and women who have been joined together in marriage.
1) As Christians, I believe we understand that, to be in such a relationship outside of marriage is sinful.
2) This also includes anything that might give the impression that such a relationship exists. Barnes, commenting on 1 Thessalonians 5:22, says, “Not only from evil itself, but from that which seems to be wrong.”
2. The Scriptures repeatedly state that Christians have been called out of the world and that we are a peculiar people (Titus 2:14; 1 Peter 2:9).
" 14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?15And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?16And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.17Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,18And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." (2 Corinthians 6:14-18)
a. There are many Scriptures that highlight the differences between one who has been redeemed by the blood of Christ and one who chooses to reject the call of the gospel:
1) A Christian has been “made alive”. Unbelievers are “dead in trespasses and sin” (Ephesians 2:1).
2) A Christian walks in “newness of life” (Romans 6:4). Unbelievers walk according to the principles of this world (Ephesians 2:2).
3) Christians share a common faith (Titus 1:4). Unbelievers have no hope (Ephesians 2:12; 1 Thessalonians 4:13).
4) A Christian strives for perfection (2 Corinthians 7:1). Unbelievers approve of one another’s evil deeds (Romans 1:32).
b. Our call to be separate from the world does not mean that we have no social contact with people:
"And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners? But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." (Matthew 9:10-13)
"If any of them that believe not bid you to a feast, and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake." (1 Corinthians 10:27)
"9I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:10Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world." (1 Corinthians 5:9-10)
c. However, our involvement must be limited:
1) We must not be “unequally yoked together” with unbelievers:
"14Do not be bound together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion has light with darkness?15And what agreement is there between Christ with Belial? or what part has he that believes with an infidel?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
“[Commenting on the above passage] Here the apostle forbids relationships with unbelievers. No specific relationship is view, it is general and includes all close and intimate relationships. It is inconceivable, then, that any Christian would entertain any thought of marrying a non-Christian. Such a marriage is prohibited and, should such a marriage take place, though sanctioned by the state, is not recognized by God. Such a union is as repugnant as that of a marriage between brother and sister” (Quotes & Things, Commentary, D. Collins).
2) The book of Proverbs further instructs us:
"26The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." (Proverbs 12:26 NKJV)
"Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge." (Proverbs 14:7)
" 24Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:25Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." (Proverbs 22:24-25)
"20Do not mix with drunks and gluttons. 21For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags." (Proverbs 23:20-21)
"1Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them.2For their heart studieth destruction, and their lips talk of mischief." (Proverbs 24:1-2)
3. The are occasions when we must limit our association with brethren:
"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them." (Romans 16:17)
"But now I have written to you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat." (1 Corinthians 5:11)
"Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us." (2 Thessalonians 3:6)
"And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed." (2 Thessalonians 3:14)
"If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:" (2 John 1:10)
4. Application: Christians have been called out of the world to live a sanctified life. We must no longer allow ourselves to be conformed by the world, and we must be careful not to be bound together with unbelievers. The reason for these warnings?
"Be not deceived: bad company corrupts good morals." (1 Corinthians 15:33)
"A little leaven leavens the whole lump." (Galatians 5:9)
III. Relationships Can Change
A. Relationships, of course, can change. You may or may not be prepared for these changes.
B. Some changes are for the worse and some for the better. Some changes are our “fault” and others not. As unpleasant as some changes in our relationship with others might be, they are often necessary.
1. The relationship between a husband and wife will change if one or the other commits adultery.
2. Perhaps your relationships with your friends and family changed when you became a Christian?
3. Your relationship with a brother or sister can change if you or they falls away.
Conclusion
1. Throughout our lives we form relationships with people from all walks of life.
2. It is essential to understand that not all our relationship can or should be the same. We must learn to properly distinguish between family, brethren, friends, colleagues, associates, and social contacts.
3. In each of the various relationships we form, we should be careful to think, speak, and act accordingly. The Scriptures provide much instruction regarding this.
4. Our relationships with people change because people change and sometimes circumstances force such change.
5. Brethren, think hard about the relationships you have with different people and behave in the most appropriate manner.
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