A WOMAN’S WORDS
PROVERBS 31:26
INTRODUCTION: Proverbs 31 gives us one of the most beautiful descriptions of Christian womanhood. Verses ten through thirty-one provide a list of virtues and characteristics that exemplify the Christian wife and mother. Someone has said, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." The influence of Christian wives and mothers is immeasurable and irreplaceable. One area of great influence that a woman has is through her words. Today I would like for us to consider a woman’s words.
I. Words have power and influence.
A. Our words have power. How often have you been affected by something someone has said whether good or bad? Have you ever been encouraged and uplifted by a kind word from someone? Have you ever had your feelings hurt through thoughtless criticism?
B. Proverbs 12:18 "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
C. "Words have the power (to produce effects) to affect our nervous systems and stimulate interpretations, ’thoughts’, meanings, ’feelings’, images, memory, fears, anxieties, actions" – Milton Dawes, The Power of Words, The Dallas-Fort Worth Center for General Semantics © 1999-2003
D. Words lay the foundation on which we build our worth, character, values, and attitudes. A good word will build up, strengthen, and encourage us. But a careless word can tear down homes, break hearts, and wreck reputations as they wound, hurt, and destroy.
E. Proverbs 25:11 "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver."
F. Words are not just letters strung together. Words are the incarnation of emotions and the stimulators of emotion. A word can be a balm or a bomb. A positive word makes you feel good. A negative word leaves you feeling depressed and defeated. Words release energy. A single word can turn you on, or it can turn you off. A negative word can defuse your enthusiasm for a project. A positive word releases positive energy and becomes a creative force. – Robert Harold Schuller (1926- ).
II. A Christian wife and mother should seek to influence and guide her family with words of wisdom.
A. A Mother’s influence is one of the most powerful influences in the life of an individual and will have a profound affect on that individual’s character and destiny.
B. Abraham Lincoln said, "All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." George Washington’s mother is reported to have been a godly woman. On the other hand, we are told that Nero’s mother was a murderess and that the dissolute Lord Byron’s mother was a proud and violent woman. Some of the greatest criminals of history have had bad mothers. On the other hand, many of the noble characters and fine leaders of history have had good, God-fearing mothers. Billy Graham has said, "Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children."
C. Proverbs 31:26a "She opens her mouth with wisdom…"
D. The Septuagint renders this as "She opens her mouth heedfully and lawfully."
E. She is familiar with the Law of the Lord and what is the true secret of lasting happiness. Therefore she can guide her children in the way of life and instill wisdom, morality, and virtue into their hearts and minds that shall be with them the rest of their lives.
F. Today too many mothers and fathers have become permissive, not wanting to be restrictive, not setting high moral standards or guidelines, nor desiring to impose their beliefs on their children. There are two types of permissive parents: Indifferent-permissive parents set few limits and provide minimal interest; their children have poor self-control and poor social skills. Indulgent-permissive parents are highly involved but place few demands on their children; their offspring tend to be impulsive, immature, and out of control.
G. Proverbs 29:15 "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame."
H. An interesting study conducted showed the effects of permissive parenting. It was noted (1) delinquent boys were 13 times (57% to 4.4%) more likely to come from homes with permissive mothers than punitive overly strict mothers, (2) 93% of the delinquent boys came from families where the mothers did not keep a close watch on their sons and let their sons make their own choices, and (3) delinquent boys are 5 times (64% to 13%) more likely to come from families that let the boy fend for himself than control him. (Glueck & Glueck, 1950; Paulson, Coombs & Landsverk, 1990; Di Lalla, Mitchell, Authur, & Pagliocca, 1988)
I. 2 Timothy 1:5 "When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also."
III. A Christian wife and mother should use her words to minister grace to the hearers.
A. Proverbs 31:26 "She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
B. When she speaks it is not gossip, slander, or idle talk. She speaks to build up and not to tear down.
C. Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." In other words, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
D. We need to realize that the very tone of a woman’s conversation impacts the tone and tranquility of the home. It is in this sense that the woman is representative of the Holy Spirit of the home.
E. Proverbs 21:9 "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house."
F. Proverbs 27:15-16 "A nagging wife is as annoying as the constant dripping on a rainy day. Trying to stop her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or hold something with greased hands." (NLT). Septuagint – "Drops of rain that drive a man out of his house."
G. A kindly word that falls today will bear fruit tomorrow.
H. Abigail Van Buren once wrote about a woman who listened to a mother verbally destroy her child. The woman told the mother, "I’ll give you a dollar for him.” It was only then that the mother began to realize the value of her child. - Christianity Today, Vol. 36, no. 8.
I. Psalms 127:3 "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."
IV. A Christian wife and mother should have all of her language to those around her to be animated by love.
A. Proverbs 31:26 "…In her tongue is the law of kindness"
B. Ephesians 4:15a "But speaking the truth in love…"
C. In his book, Be a People Person, John Maxwell tells this story. Mr. Myrick had to go to Chicago on business and persuaded his brother to take care of his cat during his absence. Though he hated cats, the brother agreed. Upon his return, Myrick called from the airport to check on the cat. "Your cat died," the brother reported, and then hung up. Myrick was inconsolable. His grief was magnified by his brother’s insensitivity, so he called again to express his pain. "There was no need for you to be so blunt," he said. "What was I supposed to say?" asked the perplexed brother. "You could have broken the news gradually," explained Myrick. "You could have said, ’The cat was playing on the roof.’ Then, later in the conversation, you could have said, ’He fell off.’ Then you could have said, ’He broke his leg.’ Then when I came to pick him up, you could have said, ’I’m so sorry. You’re cat passed away during the night.’ You’ve got to learn to be more tactful. "By the way, how’s Mom? After a long pause, the brother replied, "She’s playing on the roof." Ephesians 4:15 reminds us to "Speak the truth in love.” - Mike Niefert. From the files of Leadership.
D. Proverbs 15:1-2 "A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness."
E. Matthew 12:34b "… For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."
F. The tongue is the ambassador of the heart. – John Lyly (C. 1554-1606)
V. A Christian wife and mother should guard her words.
A. The Septuagint translates Proverbs 31:26 “…In her tongue is the law of kindness” as "She places order on her tongue."
B. James 3:6-8 "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."
C. "The boneless tongue, so small and weak, Can crush and kill," declares the Greek. "The tongue destroys a greater horde," The Turk asserts, "than does the sword." The Persian proverb wisely saith, "A lengthy tongue--an early death!" or sometimes takes this form instead, "Don’t let your tongue cut off your head." "The tongue can speak a word whose speed," Say the Chinese, "outstrips the steed." The Arab sages said in part, "The tongue’s great storehouse is the heart." From Hebrew was the maxim sprung, "Thy fret should slip, but ne’er the tongue." The sacred writer crowns the whole, "Who keeps the tongue doth keep his soul." – James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988), p. 475.
VI. The greatest use of a Christian wife’s or mother’s words is the sharing of the plan of salvation with her family and loved ones.
