“How to Increase in Your Integrity” James 5:12 (03.02.2003)
Have you ever lied? For those of you who might not be quite so sure, let me remind you of Miriam-Webster’s definition of a lie. To lie is either “to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive”; or “to create a false or misleading impression.”
I don’t know about you, but I would have been a lot more comfortable with this definition if the second part of it wasn’t there! It’s bad enough to consider those times when we have said something that wasn’t true, but to then have to think about those times when we created a misleading impression by perhaps, not saying anything, or by being intentionally vague... That adds to the percentages doesn’t it?
If there ever was a sin for which the phrase, “everybody does it” was true, it has to be the sin of lying. John MacArthur, the preacher with Grace Community Church in California, has this to say about the prevalence and popularity of lying in our society today. He said, “Our society is built on a framework of lies, leading one to wonder whether our social structure would survive if everyone were forced to speak the truth for even one day.”
Interestingly enough, a few years ago Jim Carry stared in a movie that considered this very idea. In the movie “Liar, Liar”, Jim Carry plays a lawyer who is particularly good at stretching the truth. After promising, and then breaking his promise, to show up at his five-year-old son’s birthday party, the son wishes that his dad would be able to only say the truth for one day. The promise comes true and Jim’s character wakes up not being able to tell even the smallest of lies. Needless to say, this turns his world upside down—both personally and professionally. Let’s look at a clip from the movie. Jim’s character has just found out that it was his son’s wish that was behind his inability to lie. [SHOW CLIP]
Carry’s character says, “No one can survive in the adult world if they have to stick to the truth.” Do you think that’s true? Do you think that is a typical attitude in our world today? You bet it is! Last year I had several conversations with a man who was lonely and afraid. He felt like his life was cursed and he began to see that God might be the answer to his problems. I had a few Bible studies with him and shared the fact that Jesus loved Him. He was interested, but ultimately, what kept him from making any firm commitment to Christ was the fact that he believe he couldn’t do his job if he had to be honest. He felt like he couldn’t compete with everyone else if he didn’t lie. To his credit he knew that a serious commitment to Christ meant that his life would change, but he wasn’t willing to entrust that change to God. For many people lying is a way of life. It is a necessary skill. But the question is why do people feel the need to lie?
1. Self-Protection—first of all, people lie because they’re afraid. We’re motivated by fear and we want to protect ourselves. We’re afraid that we’re going to get in trouble. Or that we’ll be rejected. Or that we’ll be in the middle of a confrontation. Or we will hurt someone’s feelings. Or we’ll lose our job. We lie because we’re afraid.
2. Self-Centeredness—secondly, people lie because they benefit from their lies. They lie because they are selfish or self-centered. We might get recognition, or a promotion, or a job, or a date, or a credit card, or sympathy. How many people lie on their income tax for that very reason? How many people call in sick when we really aren’t? How many people willingly lie for their employer as long as it benefits them as well?
3. Self-Importance—thirdly, people lie because of their pride. Somehow the lies of this kind feed our self-importance. Either we lie to save face, or to cover our mistakes, or to be liked, or to appear more important, or more successful than we really are.
We have all kinds of reason to lie. We may lie because of fear or selfishness, or pride, but the truth is, when it comes right down to it, we lie because it is the easiest thing to do. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but the wrong thing is always seems to be the easiest thing. Satan is always tempting us with the easy way. The way of least resistance is usually a slippery slop to sin. Eventually our lies will catch up with us and our integrity will suffer. C. S. Lewis once said, “A little lie is like a little pregnancy it doesn’t take long before everyone knows.”
God doesn’t call us to be a people interested in the easy way. He wants us to be a people interested in the right way—the way of honor and integrity. As a matter of fact, our effectiveness as Christians demands that we be a people of integrity. Edward R. Murrow, the famous media personality of last century once said, “To be persuasive, we must be believable. To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful.” You and I will only be a pervasive light for Christ if we are truthful. So, obviously we need to be radically different from the status quo on this issue of truthfulness. With that in mind let’s look at what James has to tell us about “How to Increase in Your Integrity”. Please turn with me to James 5:12, “Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned.”
We are now in the midst of the concluding part of James’ letter. Beginning with verse 7, James returns to the themes that started his letter and throughout James’ letter speech has been a constant subject.
In James 1:26, James says, “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
Then James devotes much of chapter 3 to a discussion of the power and the evils of the tongue. Now in v. 12 of chapter 5 he returns for one final negative look at speech before concluding his letter with one of the greatest uses of speech, which is prayer.
But, what exactly is James getting at in verse 12? Can Christians make oaths? Is it wrong for Christians to make oaths? Well, obviously that can’t be the case because it certainly isn’t wrong to take an oath when we testify in a court, or when get married.
Likewise, the Bible doesn’t forbid oaths; in fact, it offers us many examples of those who took oaths. Abraham, David, Israel, and Paul all made oaths.
In fact, the Old Testament required oaths, for example in Exodus 22:10-11 the Lord commanded that, “If a man gives a donkey, an ox, a sheep or any other animal to his neighbor for safekeeping and it dies or is injured or is taken away while no one is looking, 11the issue between them will be settled by the taking of an oath before the LORD”
Then we have God Himself, swearing an oath. In Hebrews 6:13 we read “… God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself,”
Here’s a clue as to why someone would swear an oath. The purpose of an oath was to call upon someone, or something greater than yourself as a witness to the promise you were making. By calling on the name of God in an oath, you were saying that God was a witness to your promise and, therefore, you were seriously intending to keep that promise.
Well, if oaths are allowed and even encouraged in some places in the Bible, what is James get at in v. 12? Maybe a more detailed comment on this subject by James’ big brother will help…
Jesus in Matthew 5:33–37 says, “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’ 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”
Notice that these words from Jesus are almost identical to those of James. Notice also Jesus concluding statement here— “anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” In John chapter 8, Jesus says that lying is Satan’s native language and He refers to Satan as the “father of lies”. Here is a sobering thought to keep in mind—who do we most resemble when we lie? Who is influencing us when we lie? Whose language are we speaking when we lie? Let’s look at one more statement made by Jesus on the subject of oaths that will really help clear things up for us.
Jesus in Matthew 23:16-22 says “Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ 17You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? 18You also say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gift on it, he is bound by his oath.’ 19You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? 20Therefore, he who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. 21And he who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. 22And he who swears by heaven swears by God’s throne and by the one who sits on it.
In this passage Jesus comments on a common practice of his day. It was commonly accepted that there were some oaths you could make that were binding and some you made that weren’t. If you made an oath before God, you were bound to keep it. But, if you made an oath by heaven or earth, or your head, or by the temple, or by the altar, then you had absolutely no obligation to keep that oath. In other words, the religious leaders taught, and the Jews practiced the art of making promises they never intended to keep. Jesus comment on this practice was to say, “No matter how you witness the oath you swear, God is your witness so don’t make an oath you don’t intend to keep. There are no loopholes in the making oaths!” So both Jesus and James were referring to was the practice of making an oath you have no intention of keeping.
The making and breaking of promises is the issue here, so let’s focus on promise making and breaking for a few minutes.
Have you ever heard or spoken the phrases: “But you promised…!”, or “I know I promised, but…”? They are pretty common phrases, aren’t they? Why do we break our promises?
1. Overenthusiastic— sometimes we break our promises because we are overenthusiastic. Now, obviously, some people have more of a problem with this one then others. Some people never make it to enthusiastic, let alone over-enthusiastic, but people who fall into this category have a real hard time saying “no”, especially when it comes to doing something they’re excited about. It’s natural for some people to say “Yes” before they really think about it—just because they are excited and want to help. Their enthusiasm causes them, in the heat of the moment, to say “Yes”. Then, when they think about it, they realize they have to come back and say no.
2. Overextended—the second reason we sometimes break our promises is that we are overextended. Have you ever heard the saying: “If you want something done, look for the busiest person you can find and then ask them to do it.”? There’s a lot of truth in that statement. It’s a well-known fact that in any given church 20% of the people do 80% of the work. But, whether we’re talking about the commitments we make at church, or to our families or our workplaces, the fact of the matter is that we all are overextended at times. We all have seasons when we take on more than we can handle. This, in itself, is enough of a problem, but then we create bigger problems when we say, “I’ll be there.” Or, “I’ll get right on that!” Or, “I’ll have it to you by the end of the day.” Or, “I’m sure that’s no problem, I’ll fit it in somehow.” Then, the somehow just doesn’t become a reality. Good intentions, stress, deadlines, and “buying time” are all factors that motivate us to make promises under these kinds of conditions.
3. Overestimation—the third reason we can sometimes break our promises is that we overestimate our abilities or time. This reason covers a lot of territory. We make promises based on unrealistic expectations of how much we can accomplish in a given period of time. Have you ever done this one? Have you ever promised to do something, but half-way though your day, you realize that even superman couldn’t get everything done that you promised to get done on that day. Sometimes we overestimate our memory. Have you ever promised someone you would pray for them only to realize two or three days, or weeks later, you completely forgot to pray for that person? It’s so easy to respond to a need by saying “I’ll be praying for you”, but then we don’t take the time to actually write that prayer request down. Sometimes I wonder if “I’ll be praying for you is the Christian equivalent to “Let’s do lunch”!
We can also get into trouble by making promises that we have no control over. For example—I’ll promise I’ll always be there. We may intend to always be there, but God may have a different plan.
Sometimes we break our promises because we are overenthusiastic and say “Yes” before we count the cost. Sometimes we break our promises because we are overextended. We are juggling too many balls so some of them will inevitably fall. And, sometimes we break our promises because we overestimate our abilities to get things done, to remember, or to even control life’s circumstances.
Perhaps right now you’re thinking something along these lines—“Grant, big deal! We’re not talking about sin here—we’re talking about good intentions that get messed up. We’re not talking about the willful breaking of a promise, or purposely making promises we don’t intend keeping—it’s just that sometimes we aren’t able to keep them! So what!”
Well, you have a point. Technically there is a big difference between “intending to deceive” and “dropping the ball”, when we break a promise. But, practically there is no difference at all. There is no difference at all because all that matters is that you didn’t keep your promise. That’s what will be remembered.
I hate to tell you this, but there are dear Christian brothers and sister I have known who have great hearts for the Lord, but whom I would never ask to do something for me, or anyone else for that matter. Why?—because I know it wouldn’t get done. How do I know that? I know that because time after time they’ve promised to do something that never got done. They created a pattern of dropping the ball. They’ve shown themselves untrustworthy because, for one reason or another, their good intentions never became good actions and that has hurt their witness for Christ. Their integrity has suffered. Is this striking a cord with anyone? Do you see what I am getting at here?
OK, here is the big question then: how can we increase in our integrity?
First of all, we need to:
1. Consider—don’t make promises you can’t keep. We need to carefully, prayerfully consider the things we make a commitment to do. There are all kinds of things we WANT to do. There are all kinds of things we COULD do. There are all kinds of things we SHOULD do. But, what are the things we CAN do? More importantly, what are the things that GOD WANTS US TO DO? We have to evaluate our lives and make sure that we are not only doing good things, but that we’re doing the best things we can, for Christ, for our families, and for our integrity. Then, after you have carefully, prayerfully considered these things, let your “Yes” be yes and your “No” be no. In other words:
2. Commit—to keeping the promises you make—even when it costs you!
Psalm 15:4b, says this about the person who can freely enter into God’s presence. A person who is pleasing to God is one “…who keeps his oath even when it hurts.”
David Jeremiah gives us this definition of integrity: “Integrity is keeping my commitment(s) even if the circumstances when I made the commitment(s) have changed.”
In the book, “Men of Integrity” Mark Moring shared this story about his son, Peter.
He said, “It was late, and my young sons, Peter and Paul, had been in bed for at least an hour. My wife and I had just returned from our Bible study group, and I snuck into the boys’ room to say good night.
"Dad, can I have some ice cream?"
"No, Peter, it’s late, way past bedtime."
"But Dad, you promised.”
He was right. Peter had asked for ice cream earlier in the day, but we didn’t have any. And I had said, "I’ll get some for you later, I promise.”
Dinner came and went. We cleaned up the kitchen; the boys picked up their toys. The sitter arrived. And my wife and I left for Bible study. I’d forgotten all about the ice cream. But Peter hadn’t.
So, even though it was after 10 o’clock, I hopped in the car, drove to the convenience store, got a half gallon, and hurried home.
Peter and I enjoyed that chocolate-vanilla swirl together. After all, I had a promise to keep.”
Once you consider and say “Yes” you need to commit—even when it costs you! But, when you have made a promise and failed to keep it, in order to increase in your integrity, you need to:
3. Confess—to admit when you’ve failed. We all have broken a promise at one time or another. When we fail and drop the ball, it is absolutely essential that we are honest about it. Instead of making excuses, we have to admit we were wrong. We have to admit that we have caused disappointment and we need to ask for understanding and forgiveness. But it doesn’t end there—after admitting our failure, have to resolve to change, to improve, to regain our integrity. We need to show that we are committed to a pattern of keeping our promises, even though we sometimes fail. It might even be a good idea to make yourself accountable to the person you have failed. Get them involved in praying for you and helping you to improve in this area of your life! Someone once said, “Promises may get friends, but it is performance that must nurse and keep them.” We need to remember that! But confessing our sins and failures in this area, and even making ourselves accountable to one another isn’t enough. We need help, not only from the outside; we also need help from the inside. In other words, the last factor in increasing in your integrity is to:
4. Capitulate—to surrender to Christ. We need to not only commit to growing in integrity; we also need to be enabled to grow in integrity—through our relationship and surrender to Christ. In John 15:4, Jesus told his disciples “…Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” We can’t grow. We can’t change. We can’t radically improve if we don’t abide in Christ. We cannot be Christ-like if we are not also Christ-filled. Christ is our ultimate source for growing in integrity, both by His example and His power.
Let me close with these words from Ted Engstrom: Simply put, integrity is doing what you said you would do. It means you keep your promises.
When you promised to be faithful to your mate, integrity says you’ll stay with that person no matter what -- for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.
If you promised the Lord that you would give Him the glory, integrity means you keep on doing that whether you’re reduced to nothing or exalted to the highest pinnacle on earth.
If you promised a friend that you would return a call, integrity means you return it.
If you promised your child that you would spend Saturday together, integrity means you keep that appointment.
A promise is a holy thing, whether made to a chairman of the board -- or to a child.
We need to remember that there is no such thing as an insignificant promise. A promise is a holy thing, whether it is big or small—whether made to the chairman of the board or a child. We need to not only refrain from telling lies--we also have to be men and women who keep our word. Our own integrity and the integrity of the church demand nothing less. Today more then ever, we have to let our “Yes” be yes and our “No” be no.
