INTRODUCTION
Today is the day that we take time to celebrate the one of the most hallowed of holidays, Mother’s Day!
As you searched the planet for a gift for your mother or your wife, what were you thinking about? Were you looking for a gift that would really surprise her? Were you looking for something practical, like a shovel? Were you looking for something romantic? Are you one of those lucky husbands whose wife is not shy about telling what they want, or are you one of those lucky husbands whose wife will really like whatever you get them, like a new computer or a big screen television? My father-in-law thinks a deer rifle is a nice Mother’s Day gift.
One man writes concerning gifts for the wife. Although the only person a man usually shops for is his wife, the whole experience is a stressful one. Many a man has felt extreme frigid temperatures for a long period based on a poor present decision. As a veteran of these wars, I’m still not sure what to buy my wife, but I’ll pass on what not to buy her:
1. Don’t buy anything that plugs in. Anything that requires electricity is seen as utilitarian.
2. Don’t buy clothing that involves sizes. The chances are one in seven thousand that you will get her size right, and your wife will be offended the other 6999 times. "Do I look like a size 16?" she’ll say. Too small a size doesn’t cut it either: "I haven’t worn a size 8 in 20 years!"
3. Avoid all things useful. The new silver polish advertised to save hundreds of hours is not going to win you any brownie points.
4. Don’t buy anything that involves weight loss or self-improvement. She’ll perceive a six-month membership to a diet center as a suggestion that’s she’s overweight.
5. Don’t buy jewelry. The jewelry your wife wants, you can’t afford. And the jewelry you can afford, she doesn’t want.
6. And, guys, do not fall into the traditional trap of buying her frilly undergarments. Your idea of the kind your wife should wear and what she actually wears are light years apart.
7. Finally, don’t spend too much. "How do you think we’re going to afford that?" she’ll ask. But don’t spend too little. She won’t say anything, but she’ll think, "Is that all I’m worth?"
My quest for a Mother’s day gift for my wife is easy. “What do you want Robyn?” We will go to Auburn Supply to buy her plants for the yard.
Have you ever noticed with women, that sometimes it does not matter what gift you get her, but it is how you give it to her? When I get gifts, I do not put much thought into what kind of paper it was wrapped in. When buying gifts I do not worry too much about the paper either. I figure if I am putting out the cash for the gift that is good enough. For the woman, many times the gift-wrap and the card are more important than the gift itself.
Have you ever noticed different men and women are?
Our society does what it can to blur the lines between men and women, but the fact is we are different. Men and women are wired different, we have different things that motivate us and we usually look at life and relationships in a different light.
Men and women have different needs; today I want us to look a woman’s greatest need.
I hope today’s message will help the men today, we are sometimes a little slow to catch on
I have a scripture that we help us in this pursuit. Ephesians 5:32 says, “This mystery is great:”
Sigmund Freud, after thirty years of research into the feminine soul, said, “I have not yet been able to answer the great question, ‘What does a woman want?’”
Today we are going to focus on the female and answer the question, “What do women want?” What is a woman’s greatest need?
SERMON
I. HER GREATEST NEED
A. When God created us, He created male and female.
• God did not create us as mirrors of each other; God created us to complement one another.
• In the beginning, everything was perfect, until sin entered the picture.
• Once sin entered the picture, things were corrupted, even the relationship between men and women. Let’s look at Genesis 3:16.
B. READ GENESIS 3:16
• This verse is part of the section that deals with the punishment for Adam and Eve’s disobedience to God.
• Notice that the woman’s curse is a twofold one. She will have much pain in childbirth and there is a consequence concerning her relationship with her husband.
• In this passage we see a fracture in the relationship between the man and woman.
• Before the fall I believe that Eve had a desire for Adam, but after the fall that changed.
• A simple reading of the passage seems like women are meant to be slaves of their husbands, but that is not what this passage really says.
C. A look at the passage
• A woman’s greatest need is the need for intimacy.
• The goal of marriage is that the two shall become one flesh. The two shall blend into one. (Genesis 2:24) This really ties into what a woman wants from her husband.
• Because of the “Fall” this need was corrupted so that “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Gen. 3:16). Because of the “corruption,” this desire for intimacy must be managed.
• The Hebrew word desire literally means “a desire bordering on disease, an intense longing for.” In other words, her need for intimacy can make her sick of heart when her husband does not give her enough of himself or manipulates her emotions.
• The passage says she will subject her will to that of her husband. (CURSE?)
• The passage is saying that the woman will have an intense desire for her husband, that she will want him to take care of her. This flies in the face of EXTREME feminism that says, “I do not need a man.” Quite honestly, the way many men are today, I can understand how this thinking can get started.
D. What is intimacy?
• Intimacy means I know who you are at the deepest level, and I accept you.
• Women are more relationship oriented.
• If you watch men and women, you will see that this is true.
• How many times have you seen women make a trip to the bathroom the great social event of the day? Men, have you ever asked other men if they want to go to the bathroom with you?
• Women desire closeness. They will join stuff for the social interaction, sometimes forgetting why they are there. ROBYN IN TOPS WITH WOMEN WHO GOT MAD WHEN PEOPLE WERE LOSING WEIGHT.
• I see this with girls and sports. Guys play for the love of the game, no matter who is on the team. Girls want to know who is on the team before they will play and some will not play even if they are great at the sport if a friend is not playing.
• I have read that a lot of statistics that suggest that if young girls do not have a good relationship with their fathers that they are more at risk to be promiscuous and have other problems in life. Little girls need a loving relationship with their fathers. This carries on to adulthood. A wife wants to occupy first place in her husbands’ world.
• A married woman wants to occupy the first place in her husband’s life in the same way that she seeks to give him the first place in her life.
• This all goes back to God’s purpose for marriage, two becoming one flesh. This will not happen if we do not seek to give our wives the intimacy that they want.
• Husbands, to fail to satisfy her need for intimacy is to fail in love, consideration, and respect. It is sin. We are not separate beings but have been mysteriously fused into one flesh. It is a sin against her, and it is a sin against our own bodies.
II. FULFILLING HER GREATEST NEED
• Because the wife’s greatest need is for intimacy, then the husband’s greatest responsibility is to satisfy that need. How? Through mutual love, mutual respect, and mutual submission. The husband can satisfy his wife’s greatest need by knowing who she is at the deepest level, and accepting her.
• If you will look with me at Ephesians 5:22-31 you will see a couple of themes that fit in with a man and woman’s’ greatest need. READ PASSAGE.
• Verse 22- Subject. Verse 25- Love. Verse 28- Love like self.
• If intimacy is the greatest desire of a wife, why then do most husbands lack it? Men often lack intimacy because it is contrary to what is most valued in most men’s careers where the spoils go to the field generals—the ones who can get the job done. Task is valued more highly in a man’s world than relationship.
• Unfortunately, the ambition that drives men to succeed competes directly against the intimacy women desire. Let’s be realistic. A man cannot be at the top of the corporate world and be the consummate family man at the same time. That man exists only in fairy tales. In other words, work can be number one or wife and family can be number one, but not both. If husbands are to be more intimate, wives will have to allow and help them to reevaluate their work and success priorities. This applies to career women too.
• Giving our wives and children (on a different level) the gift of intimacy is not easy. This is why a good relationship takes work. A good relationship with our children and with our spouses takes a lot of effort. Young people, if you are not ready to work at a relationship with another, then you had better not get a spouse yet.
• This is one of the reasons that many marriages fail. The couples assume that the marriage will go on without any effort.
A. What can we do to give our wives the gift of intimacy? Here are a few suggestions that are tied in with defining intimacy.
• Intimacy is reaching out to understand each other in the face of busy schedules, different personalities, embarrassing secrets, and past hurts.
• Intimacy is a block of time given freely or sacrificially to the one to whom you have made vows.
• Intimacy is opening up to your mate when he/she reaches out.
• Intimacy is being spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally familiar with the deepest nature of your partner in mind, soul, body, and spirit.
• Intimacy is the fusion of two distinct lives headed in two distinct directions into a single journey of one flesh.
• Intimacy with Christ is communion; intimacy in marriage is union.
• Intimacy is unconditional love.
• Intimacy is I Corinthians 13 love.
CONCLUSION
Fulfilling your spouse’s greatest need is a matter of giving her first place in your life behind Jesus.
If you put Jesus first in your life, then fulfilling your duty to your wife will be so much easier.
There will be times when you do not feel like giving yourself to your wife, but you owe it to her to do that.
Sometimes you will not feel like giving yourself to your children, but you owe it to them to do that.
Remember, true unconditional live has more to do with sacrifice than feeling.
Do you love your wife? Then show her with your actions as well as your words!
