INTRODUCTION: Today’s study looks at what the Bible says about conflict and in particular, peacemaking. For a topical outline of the material covered, research Peacemakers ministry either through LifeWay or the Peacemakers’ website.
A. In a fallen world conflict is inevitable (personal level). Until Jesus returns there will be wars and rumors of wars (broader). We need to take a biblical approach
The beatitudes tell us: “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God”
B. Today’s lesson is built around three possible courses of action when conflict arises:
1. Escape
2. Attack
3. Reconcile
TRANSITION: This morning we visit Matt 5:9 as we embrace “Blessed are the Peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God.”
Stand as we read 5:1-11 of our Lord’s Sermon on the Mount.
TEXTUAL IDEA: God is pleased with His people who work at peace.
TRANSITION: Everyone loves peace, it allows them to do whatever they want without hindrance. But we aren’t called to love peace. We are called to love each other. Peace doesn’t come easy, but the results are worth working hard to attain.
SERMON IDEA: Three common approaches to conflict. Two of these approaches often result in Satan establishing strongholds in our lives.
A. Escape
B. Attack
C. Reconciliation
DIVISION 1: God blesses us when we face our relational problems.
Explain: We must resist the temptation to Escape, Evade, Ignore or Avoiding conflict.
Trying to escape conflict is never successful and does not result in bringing people together. If you want God’s blessing you must learn to be a peace maker.
A. Situation causing stress is already dividing and separating people. That is the work of Satan, not God. Satan sees an opening, an opportunity.
B. People experiencing strained relationships avoid each other. Satan gains a foothold
C. People often see or hear what they want … denial is easier - you have fallen for a diversionary attack - Satan begins to bring more forces to the battle
D. There is no joy in spending so much time escaping the enemy’s attacks. When we attempt to escape and evade back to friendly territory we are completely isolated, anxious and absolutely combat ineffective.
Argue from Scripture: Eli avoided facing his family’s problems too long. 1 Samuel 2 Relays the story of Eli and his evil sons.
A. V.12 Now the sons of Eli were corrupt, they did not know the Lord
B. V. 17 the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for men abhorred the sacrifice (on their account)
C. Eli ignored their sins until it was too late. By the time he finally speaks to them about their behavior they are grown, and committing adultery with the women who assembleD at the door of the tabernacle.
D. The result of Eli avoiding conflict with his sons? 3:1 …the word of the Lord was rare in those days, there was no widespread revelation”. That is not God’s plan for us. God intends for us to work our way through conflicts to peaceful solutions. You can count on the Lord’s help in the process of working toward peace. He came that there might be peace between men. He came that there might be peace between man and God. And do not mistake peace loving for peace making. There will be strife amongst us. Do not love peace so much that you avoid addressing issues that have divided us. Through time and trials we gain great trust.
E. By the way Eli’s sons Hophni and Phinehas were both killed as the Ark of the Covenant was captured by the Philistines. Upon hearing the news Eli falls out of his chair and breaks his neck. What an typical picture of how Satan will completely destroy your relationship with others. If you let him, Satan will lead you to places you should not go (Hophni and Phinehas had no business taking the Ark to the battlefield). Not only will he lead you away he will let you die there separated from your friends and family. That my friends is a sad story.
Transition: And I remind you that is not the storyline God has written for you.
DIVISION 2: God blesses us when we wait on His will.
Explain: The second typical approach to conflict is initiate an attack. Adapting the philosophy of the best defense is a good offense doesn’t work with relationships among God‘s family.
A. If you want to attack the sin in your life to work toward peace go ahead, you have an open invitation.
B. But when we attack others we are taking a position that winning conflict is more important than preserving a relationship or following Christ. “They will know you are My disciples, if you have love for one another”
Illustration: Karate - For years many Karate schools taught the philosophy of strike first, strike fast, strike final. In competition these opponents are the easiest to read. They become proficient at initiating a number of specific combinations that lead to quick victories. But there are inherent weakness that become obvious when the match doesn’t end quickly. Time and again I have seen their frustration level soar off the "fun meter" as they loose their concentration and usually their composure. In contrast more and more schools are teaching methods that focus on your ability to take the negative things directed at you and redirect them safely away. The methods I most appreciate are those that take it one step further by considering the opponents safety as well. As Seth prepares to demonstrate one of many techniques we teach at Highlander Martial Arts, I want to introduce another concept we call "full circle liability", a term coined by Tom Patire of CDT International. This term means that as Seth takes control of the attacker’s arm, he is assuming responsibility for his attacker’s safety. Seems odd, doesn’t it? Someone throws a punch at you and you’re worried about his safety. But remember, a Christian response is more interested in maintaining a relationship with Christ and the other person than they are about winning the conflict. In this case, Seth has decided that putting this person on the ground in a safe fashion will do more for his relationship with him than getting hit. So watch as Seth decides to "turn the other cheek". Now that happened quickly, so we’ll let you see it again a bit slower.
A. Seth sees the direction the punch is coming and moves just enough to not be there when it arrives.
B. To redirect this negative energy approaching him, Seth brushes the fist away and takes control of the arm by trapping the wrist.
C. Next, he assumes control of his assailant by taken him off balance.
D. Finally, Seth moves both he and his assailant to a safer location where they can work on their relationship.
E. Now that he has a captive audience Seth decides this would be a good time to share the plan of salvation with his new friend.
Application: Taking action without knowing God’s will for a relationship opens the door for Satan to establish a stronghold in at least two lives. Spiritually, take control of the situation through prayer and pastoral council before acting or speaking to others about the problem. Speaking to close friends and confidants may seem like a good idea. But let me caution you to guard your conversation from malicious thoughts or words. Remember, you are in the process of directing negative energy away from you. Any attitude that leads to gossip will weaken your grip on the situation.
Transition: That lays a foundation for us to discuss how God blesses us when we work toward peace. This is often called the ministry of reconciliation.
DIVISION 3: God’s family is blest with perfect peace.
Explain: There will be conflict until Jesus returns. Therefore, we must realize that
God’s perfect peace doesn’t come from a lack of conflict but from working through it to a peaceful solution. Reconciliation is a miracle God does when His people work toward peace with each other.
Application 1: There are six ways to work toward peace:
A. 3 Personal
1. Overlook - Prov 19:11 “A man’s wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense”. Know what needs addressing and what doesn’t.
(a) What to overlook:
Things not intended to harm
Things not harmful
Things not impacting your ministry / walk
(b) What not to overlook:
Sin
Evil intent
Satanic Strongholds
2. Discuss - bring it to their attention in a loving manner with a view to resolve. When dealing with things intended to harm you or someone else:
(a) address the cause and effect of words and actions first. Let the other party know the ill effect an act or word had on you without negative reference to their motivations.
(b) address possible motives only after progress has been made in both parties agreeing on the situation. Even then keep in mind we can’t see into each others hearts. But we can see the love of God in each other.
3. Negotiate - Ephesians and Philippians both show us to consider others views and needs. This is necessary to negotiate a peaceful solution. Remember the goal is not winning but to achieve peace. If brothers are divided there is not peace.
B. 3 Corporate
4. Mediation - Matt 18:16 “if he will not listen, take someone with you” - Enlist the help of friends to help you see the other side of the issue and help you communicate your needs.
5. Arbitrate - If you still can’t come to a voluntary agreement between the two of you appoint volunteers to listen and render a binding settlement. Jesus made it clear that we should do all we can to settle our disputes within the body, not outside.
6. Church Discipline - The Lord’s Supper Table is the primary tool for maintaining the discipline of peace among a local body of believers.
Application 2: From Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, Chapter 20:
Seven steps to restoring fellowhsip:
1. Talk to God before talking to the person.
2. Always take the initiative.
3. Sympathize with their feelings.
4. Confess your part in the conflict.
5. Attack the problem not the person.
6. Cooperate as much as possible.
7. Emphasize reconciliation not resolution.
