“Raising Kids in an X Box Generation”
-Children are gifts from the Lord-
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
If you compare the amount of time our children and grandchildren are spending playing games or watching videos or television and the amount of time they spend with the family then the computer, vides and television have a greater impact on children than family. There are videos and computer games that teach good Biblical Christian values, but the vast amount of games and videos are not teaching Biblical values. I’m thankful our Christian school provides good Christian values in both computer games and videos. Barbara Crandall is doing a great job providing Biblical games for the Thursday night Kids computer club.
The X box is a Microsoft game station with all kinds of action games. The Sony Play Station is a competitor of X Box. The Play Station has some good games like “Frogger” and others. Top sellers on the play station are not as inspiring. Number one is “Sims – There goes the neighborhood.” The sideline of this game says: “Now you control mom.” Other games include: “Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Combat, Ghost Recon, Devil May – 2.”
How do you raise kids in an X box generation? Our X box generation is based on Post Modern Values. There is a Creator and God but who cares. There are no absolutes. Everything is relative. When God is non-existent and there are no moral codes or commandments then you should not be surprised at the activities of youth today.
A week ago Friday, April 25th, I was working with our FMC in Decatur, Illinois. I watched part of 20/20 on ABC network. The account was given of a new Hollywood film – a reality film. Hollywood producers paid the way for 16 College age youth to spend a couple weeks vacationing in Cancun, Mexico. The film producers paid for all the booze they wanted and no limits were set.
One college boy testified to being from a Christian home and that he had not smoked, or drank or had sex. The film showed him taking his first drink and said it tasted awful. He joined in the immoral activities of the two weeks.
Twin girls were on the trip and the film showed them dancing topless before a mob on the beach. Later the film clip of them dancing was shown to their mother and she is sown on 20/20 giving her response to her daughters. She said she was somewhat surprised but her daughters were only having fun.
When I say the 20/20 report my first thought was at the scene Moses saw when he came down from the Mountain after God gave him the Ten Commandments. Aaron had fashioned a golden calf and the children of Israel were dancing and involved in sexual orgies. Their sin brought God’s judgment.
The sad reality is that Hollywood has a major influence on our society and Hollywood is not teaching morality, but is tearing down the moral fiber in our country. When there is no moral authority in the absence of a Supreme Being, tolerance becomes the ‘god’ who endorses everything and anything except Christian beliefs.
According to postmodern teaching you came into existence by a random choice in a chaotic universe with no design and no designer. You have no inherent value as a human and no significance beyond life on this earth.
Parents can sit idly by or get involved with their children and provide a Biblical environment and raise them with Biblical principles.
The writer of Proverbs gives wise counsel in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Biblical principle:
I. Train up a Child in the Way He Should go.
This verse translated in Hebrew says: “Initiate a child in accordance with his ways.” To train a child the right way is to train according to God’s way. The earlier the training begins the better.
Proverbs 22:6 is not so much a promise as it is a principle that God has laid down. This principle is for all parents and teachers who have the awesome responsibility of affecting little lives for all eternity. Children are God’s gifts to parents.
The “way he should go” is God’s way. The way of salvation - The way to a purposeful life. Guide your children to fulfill the very purpose for which God created them.
God’s Word clearly teaches the responsibility of parents to train their children in God’s way. Deuteronomy 6:6-9: “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
The day to day life with your family is important. What you say does make a difference. Your children and spouse need to hear positive, affirming and encouraging words.
Parents that react to their children out of anger may say things that wound their souls. When they push you to the limit and you angrily shout: “I can’t stand you! I wish you belonged to someone else” Or, I can’t believe you failed another test. How could a son of mine be so stupid?”
Even more important your children need to see you practicing what you preach.
There is truth to the statement, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one.” Children may not remember what you say, but they are impacted for life by what you do. It is helpful to have prayer with your children at night. Carollyn and I took turns with our four children having prayer at night up through Junior High. We tried to have family devotions one or twice a week. Most important we tried to live the principles of faith before our children. We made it a practice to take to the Lord activities our children were involved in. Every challenge at school or conflicts or misunderstanding with others we took to the Lord in prayer.
Our children need to understand that our Love for Jesus is the first priority in our lives and family life. Remember that the relationships you have with you children should have highest priority. Josh McDowell gave insight into family life when he said, “Rules without relationships lead to rebellion.”
Most kids if they have a choice want to go their own way and not God’s way. Kids like to have fun and they at first don’t think they can be a Christian and have fun.
Dr. James Dobson in his book, “Raising UP Boys,” gives rationale that boys are different than girls. Boys like to do rougher things than girls. He quotes from the book, Up to No Good: The Rascally Things Boys Do” edited by Kitty Harmon. Kitty Harmon compiled stories told by perfectly decent grown men recalling childhood experiences.
Mark in Ohio told that in seventh grade, the biology teacher had them dissect fetal pigs. He and his friends pocketed the snout of the pig and stuck it on the water fountain so that the water shot straight up out of the pig’s nostrils. No one really noticed it until they were bent over just about to drink. The problem was they wanted to see the results and they started laughing so hard that they got caught. They all got the paddle for that. (That was in the days teachers could use a paddle.)
Dave in the state of Washington told about the time he and a friend found a coffee can of gasoline in the garage and decided to pour some down a manhole, light it and see what would happen. They popped a manhole open, poured some gas in, and replaced the cover so that it was ajar. They kept throwing matches down but nothing happened, so they poured all the gas in. Finally, there was a noise like a jet engine starting up, and then a big BOOM! The manhole cover flew up and a flame shot up about fifteen feet in the air. The ground was rumbling like an earthquake, and the manhole cover crashed about 12 fee away in the neighbor’s driveway. What happened was the gas ran down the sewer line for a block or so and vaporized with all the methane in there, and blew up all the neighbors’ toilets. He said he was now a plumber now, and knew that’s what happened.
When I was in the fifth grade I learned a hard lesson. I was staying with my Aunt and Uncle in Kansas City, MO. When no one was looking I took a paper clip and stuck it in a wall electrical outlet. Sparks flew and melted the clip in my fingers and left two deep wounds. It blew the fuse and I was found out. I was glad because I was in deep pain. Natural consequences are often the best teachers. No one had to tell me again not to put any kind of wire in a wall outlet.
Parents need to watch out for the time trap.
To raise up your children in the way God wants them to go requires time. Children often get the leftovers of their parent’s time.
Living in the Silicon Valley has its blessing and its curse. Right now the job market is not so great, but in the past and probably the future the Silicon Valley has one of the highest per capita salaries in America. But with high salaries comes a price. With long hours at work there is little time left for the family or for God.
Carollyn sat by a high tech engineer flying from Dallas to San Jose. In their discussion she mentioned that I was serving as pastor of the Willow Vale Church. His response was: “Do people living in the Silicon Valley have time to go to church.” She said, “Yes some people make time to get involved in a local church in the Silicon Valley.”
From time to time we sing the old hymn: “Take Time to Be Holy.” Even so we must take time for our family. When we spend time with our children we understand that each one has different personalities and have different needs.
Boys have different temperaments than girls. By two sons throught it was the greatest time to wrestle with me and roll around on the floor. My girls tired it but more often than not they ended up getting hurt.
Most boys are more competitive then girls. I for one enjoy playing tennis, but I’m not satisfied to just hit the ball. I want to play a game even if I lose. Competition is built into our blood.
A father, Bill Dolan, told about the time one evening at the dinner table that his son, Tom wouldn’t drink his milk and the father made an issue out of it. The father said, “You’re not leaving until you drink your milk! His son Tom said, “I don’t want the milk.” The father said, “That’s not the question. You’re drinking the milk before you leave the table.” It finally dawned upon the dad, I know this kid, and he went and got a glass and I filled the glass with milk. Then he said” “I’ll race you.” He said, “Cool.” And we drank the milk, he put it down and said, “Let’s do two out of three.”
When you get involved with your children you give them your attention. There are some things as parents you should not do:
• Serve as their human quarter machine at the video arcade.
• Read the paper while helping them with their algebra assignment.
• Have the NBA game of the week on while you’re playing Monopoly with them.
• Suggest they take a nap with you on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.
To raise up your children in the way they should go means that you give them positive words of affirmation, spend time with them and model authentic Christianity.
II. When He is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train/raise up a child in the way he should go (God’s Way) and when he/she is old he/she will not turn from it.
The Message translates this verse this way: “Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old they don’t be lost.”
Knowledge is not a guarantee of the choices your children will make.
This verse is not a blank guarantee for the future of your children to live God honoring lives. This verse does not take away the free choice your children have.
When you have done your best to raise up your children in God’s way you have the assurance they will know the way they should go. They may not choose to go God’s way, but they do know the way they should go.
As a parent you may suffer, you may hurt, you may have your heart broken, but you are not to blame for the choice your children make. In God’s sight we are responsible for the choices we make. When our children make wrong choices they have no one to blame but themselves.
As parents we do our best to provide spiritual support, emotional support, intellectual support and social support. We warn our children of the consequences of sin and making wrong choices. We continue to pray for them and commit them to the Lord.
Praying for your children is a life long privilege.
Listening to your children is a life long opportunity.
