Several years ago, Maryanne was out of town visiting her family in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I was here at home with Alan who was in school. He was about ten and I was trying to do things that were fun with him. One of those was skateboarding.
We live on Wallings Road between Ridge and York in North Royalton. It’s a rather steep hill. He had inherited an old homemade skateboard. We walked up to Mapleridge to skateboard on that street because it was level. When it was time to go home, I decided to skateboard down Wallings. I took a deep breath and jumped on.
The first few yards were all about me showing Alan what a cool dad he had. I’m balancing and lookin’ good! But then I started to gain speed and suddenly a look of terror hit my face. I could no longer ignore the truth that skateboards don’t have breaks. What was coming was inevitable. I knew it and I’m sure Alan knew it.
To avoid killing myself I had to take a flying leap from the board. The big question was, “Could I run fast enough after jumping off to keep from hitting the asphalt?” I underestimated the speed of the skateboard and overestimated the speed my legs could carry me. I hit the asphalt and rolled! I skinned my arm and back. I ripped my shirt. When I finally stopped, I’m sure Alan thought, “My mom’s not home and my dad’s dead. What’s gong to happen to me?” Well, I survived. (And now you can tell your friends tomorrow that you have a “stupid guy” for a pastor.
I craved the feeling of looking cool and tough to my son, Alan. The faster I went, the cooler I thought I was. But the higher the speed, the more painful the crash.
Why do I tell that story? Really, it’s not just a story about me. It’s a story about most of us. You’ve rolled up your sleeves to build a life, a family, a career, a ministry. All the charts are up and to the right. The pace has been steadily increasing. The pressures and the responsibilities and the stress levels are going up, up, and up.
And you fear that your life is spinning out of control. If the speed keeps accelerating, you’re going to have to take a leap. And your landing will probably not be pretty. The faster you go, the more spectacular the crash. And a more spectacular crash means more damaged people. And for you, the thrill of living is being replaced by a sense of impending doom.
A phrase that I’ve been using a lot recently is “sustainable pace.” I’ve been asking myself and others around me, “How do I live life at a sustainable pace? If I keep living at the current pace, there will be a crash. I’ve simply got to learn to say “no” to some of what I’ve been saying “yes” to.
When saying “no” to people is saying “yes” to God
Text: Selected
Series: Right on time:
What to do when you are overbooked, overworked, and overstressed
Are you doing more than God intended? Do you feel like you are constantly living in the rut of a rat race? Do you know how to avoid getting overbooked? Wouldn’t it be great to think at the end of each day that we were leaving no important thing undone? That first things really were first?
Over the next two weeks, we’re going to learn what to do about all the competing demands that come our way from the people around us. We can avoid the tyranny of the urgent and learn to live our lives doing what might not be urgent, but is vital and important.
Last week, I mentioned three words that describe our lives. Exhausted. Empty. Enslaved. Do those words describe you?
I believe that God never piles on more than we can handle. I believe that God never overbooks us. I believe that God never drives us to the point of breakdown. I believe that God never burns us. I believe that God never gives us tasks that are beyond the strength or ability He provides.
When we become overwhelmed by our commitments and responsibilities, we are operating on their own agenda. Followers of Christ are particularly at risk of assuming responsibility for things we should not. The work is never completed. There is always another phone call to make, a person who needs help. What we must learn to do is figure out where we have assumed ownership for things God has not intended for us to do.
For a long time, I’ve been awed by a little prayer Jesus prayed in John 17 at the end of His life on the earth.
I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given me to do.
John 17:4
He did everything the Father wanted Him to do. He left nothing undone. Wow! When you couple that with the fact that the Bible never pictures Jesus as being in a hurry or experiencing stress, it’s even more awesome! Despite the enormous pressures on Him, Jesus never appeared to be overwhelmed or behind schedule. How did He do it?
In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there. Simon and his companions searched for Him; they found Him and said to Him, “everyone is looking for You.” And He said to them, “Let us go somewhere else to the towns nearby, so that I may preach there also; for that is what I came for.”
Mark 1:35-38
What prompted Jesus to say “no” to the opportunities that came His way to do ministry? He didn’t do everything that people wanted Him to do. It’s because finding and fulfilling His Father’s agenda was more important to Him than eating.
My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work.
John 4:34
For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.
John 6:38
Jesus wanted to fulfill God’s agenda for His life above all. Is that our heart’s desire?
Let’s be honest. Most of us live our lives spending time doing everything that the people around us want us to do and, if we have any free time, we spend that time doing what we want to do. But we miss what God wants us to do. Do we actually want to stand before God one day and hear Him say, “You accomplished everyone’s agenda but mine”?
I want to know how to do what God wants. Three big ideas today…
To get on God’s agenda, I will…
1. … deal with the dark-side of my driven-ness.
We all have a dark-side. The Bible calls it the flesh – the sinful nature. We have to learn to deal with it – that it’s been crucified with Christ. We don’t have to be led by our dark-side.
Two questions to ask to deal with my dark-side.
Am I seeking to please people?
We want people to like us. So, we do what they want. But often, their agenda is not God’s. If we don’t plan our time with God, someone else will. Every phone call or every person who stops by will determine your schedule. Generally people who seize our unscheduled time are not concerned with the most important, but the urgent.
Why don’t we say no? We fear people more than we fear God.
The fear of man brings a snare, but He who trusts in the Lord will be exalted.
Proverbs 29:25
Why don’t we say “no”?
· We don’t have the guts to do it.
· We don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feathers.
· We’re afraid people will think that we’re not committed.
· We’re concerned that people will think we’re not team players.
· We’re concerned that people will think we are unwilling to sacrifice.
I don’t like it when people question my willingness to do anything to pay the price to be a committed follower of Christ.
Say “no” anyway. You will displease some people, but you’ll be living at a sustainable pace. Second question to ask to deal with your dark-side:
Am I seeking to justify my existence?
Some of us can’t say “no” because our sense of self-worth demands that we make ourselves indispensable to everyone. We feel that our existence is justified only when we are doing something.
Healthy people say “no” far more than they say “yes.” Saying “no” means that we realize that we are human beings, with human limitations, who have to make choices with our time.
I’m not valuable because I do things. I’m not a human doing. I’m a human being. I know that I’m valuable to God simply because I know that Jesus gave His life for me. That justifies my existence.
To get on God’s agenda, I will deal with the dark-side of my driven-ness.
2. … schedule unhurried time with God.
Key word here? Unhurried. Do you spend unhurried time with God? If you don’t, you are trading wisdom for information – exchanging depth for breadth. You want microwave maturity. Depth always comes slowly.
Long ago, I found a verse in Isaiah that shows us how Jesus approached His life. It’s Isaiah 50:4. Let’s read it together.
The LORD God has given Me the tongue of disciples, that I may know how to sustain the weary one with a word. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple.
Isaiah 50:4
How did Jesus always say the right thing in the right way at the right time for the right reason? How did He know how to encourage people He encountered day after day? It’s because morning after morning, He was with His Father listening. His Father knew who He would be seeing each day. So, the Father gave Jesus what he needed to know to help people along the way.
We maintain a close relationship with God this morning so we are prepared to help a person in need this afternoon. How tragic when we face an opportunity to help someone or a major decision that desperately calls for God’s wisdom but we have grown unfamiliar with His voice.
We must schedule regular and frequent times alone with our heavenly Father. To simply squeeze in few moments with God as opportunities present themselves is ineffective for busy people. Why? Such opportunities to squeeze in a few moments rarely come.
Someone said, “The clock and the Christ are not close friends. We jump at the alarm of a Seiko but sleep through the call of the Almighty.”
Unhurried time with God does at least two things for us.
Unhurried time with God…
… quiets the crowd.
The people around you are always going to try to squeeze you into their mold. They will always want to set the agenda for you. Jesus faced that challenge. Notice how He handled it.
Now when Jesus saw the crowds around Him, He gave orders to depart to the other side of the sea.
Matthew 8:18
After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone.
Matthew 14:23
Over and over again in the scriptures, we see that Jesus spent time alone. We call it solitude. He began, continued, and ended His life with extended times of solitude. Solitude is the place we gain freedom from the forces of society that will otherwise relentlessly mold us.
Henri Nouwen wrote, “In solitude, I get rid of my scaffolding.” Scaffolding is all the stuff we use to convince ourselves that we are important and OK. But Jesus knew that what made Him a beloved Son was a relationship with the Father.
So Jesus, perceiving that they were going to come and take Him by force to make Him king, withdrew again to the mountain by Himself to pray alone.
John 6:15
You have an agenda for me? I don’t take my cues from the crowd. I’m not a people-pleaser. Try to make everybody around you happy and you’ll make God sad.
Unhurried time with God quiets the crowd.
… clarifies my calling.
One reason we say “yes” to so much is because we are confused about what it is that we are supposed to do with our lives. God made each of us for very specific reasons. Do you know why you are here? God will teach you about why you are here if you spend time with Him. And then He will say to you what He said to Timothy.
Fulfill your ministry.
II Timothy 4:5
Your ministry. Not the one you dreamed up. Not the one that gives you a Messianic complex. Not the one that others want you to do. Jesus was able to do this. One time, His brothers came to Him with a very specific agenda.
His brothers said to Him, “Leave here and go into Judea, so that Your disciples also may see the works which You are doing… Show Yourself to the world.” For not even His brothers were believing in Him. So Jesus said to them, “My time is not yet here, but Your time is always opportune... Go up to the feast yourselves; I do not go up to this feast because My time has not yet fully come.” Having said these things to them, He stayed in Galilee.
John 7:3-9
Jesus said “no” because He knew what He was sent to do and when He was supposed to do it.
One key to maintaining a sustainable pace is staying focused. Know how to say “no.” Say “no” every time an opportunity, no matter how noble the cause, threatens to lure you from the task God has assigned to you. Learn how to say, “No. That’s not my calling. I’m sure God wants someone to do that, but it’s not me.”
The assignment God has given you is sustainable if you are pursuing it right. God knows what He’s doing. So, if it feels like things are out-of-control, then you probably are attempting to do things God never intended for you to do.
To get on God’s agenda, I will schedule unhurried time with God.
3. … do my day with God.
One devotional that many people at CVCC use is “My Utmost for His Highest.” This week Oswald Chambers wrote about how so many people have “no margin of body, mind, or spirit free, consequently he becomes spent out and crushed. There is no freedom, no delight in life; nerves, mind, and heart are so crushingly burdened that God’s blessing cannot rest.” He goes on, “The only responsibility you have is to keep in living constant touch with God, and to see that you allow nothing to hinder your cooperation with Him.” Constant touch with God. Does that describe you?
One way that I have learned to remind myself about this principle is to call it simply “doing my day with God.”
Doing my day with God means that I am…
… taking time to listen.
With email and voice mail, we are pressured to make quick decisions and maintain steady communication. Information must be processed as rapidly as possible. There seems to be less time for us to respond to events than there used to be.
How do you decide? You better learn how to do your day with God by tuning in to His still, small voice.
Your daily schedule reveals two things: the things you have chosen to do and the things you have chosen not to do. Every decision to do one thing is a decision not to do dozens of things.
Make the most of your time… understand what the will of the Lord is.
Ephesians 5:15-17
How will I know it’s His voice? His voice is always consistent with the scriptures – the written Word of God. This is why we must spend time in the Book – to know God’s heart, His ways. His voice usually will prompt you to do something that requires an adjustment to your agenda. His ways are higher than ours. His voice will lead us to show love to someone by word and deed. Little children, love one another.
Doing my day with God means that I am taking time to listen.
… making time to love.
Richard Swenson wrote a book called Margin. He writes, “Hurry prevents us from receiving love from the Father or giving it to His children. Crowded lives produce fatigue—and fatigue produces irritability—and irritability produces indifference—and indifference can be interpreted by the child as a lack of genuine affection and personal esteem.”
It is possible that the most important thing God has for you on any given day is not even on your agenda. Are you interruptible? Do you have time for the non-programmed things in your life? Your response to those interruptions is the real test of your love.
Someone said that our being useful for God’s purposes is nine-tenths availability. When others need help, they don’t need it two days from now. “We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God.”
Let me read a quote from the great German pastor who was killed by the Nazis in WWII, Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans by sending us people with [problems.] We must not spare our hand where it can perform a service. We do not assume that our schedule is our own to manage, but allow it to be arranged by God.”
We will be busy. “Jesus had much to do, but He never did it in a way that severed the life-giving connection between Him and His Father. He never did it in a way that interfered with His ability to give love when love was called for. Love takes time and time is one thing hurried people don’t have.” John Ortberg
To get on God’s agenda, I will do my day with God.
One of the busiest people I’ve met in NE Ohio is Kathy Nagel. But I’ve noticed a big difference in Kathy lately. She’s slowed the pace of her life. And it’s made a big difference in her walk with Christ. I’ve asked her to share her story with you.
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It was 11 years ago this Sunday that I first visited CVCC. The evening before I had journaled, “It’s April 1992 and I’m spending the first relaxing time alone I’ve had to myself in 8 years. Tomorrow I’m going to a new church. I think something significant is happening. I hope my life is taking a new direction…”
Up to that point the direction of my life had been an outward-bound adventure. I was climbing to what I thought was the summit of satisfaction through achievement and acquisitions. I was president of the Preschool Mothers Club, on the Board of PTA, Chairman of a local Political Action Committee battling rezoning issues, a Brownie Troop leader. It wasn’t that I couldn’t say “no.” I didn’t even want to say “no.” I was interested in a million things and thrived on the adrenaline that propelled me from one demand to the next.
During this time, my “inside” felt like an abandoned cave. The only awareness of its existence came from a solitary flame-faintly illuminating the bareness of my busy life.
Eleven years later, I’d like to tell you that God has completely changed me-that I am living with perfect balance of responsibility and recreation in my life-but God’s not finished with me yet-I’m still a work in progress.
But I can tell you that beginning that Sunday, God got a hold of me and that flame which faintly flickered in the whirlwind of my life, began to burn with a steady glow as I learned to say “no.”
The first time it felt weird and kind of sad. I had never said No to an interesting project. But God used that first step towards Him, to show me “His ways ARE higher. I started saying “no” more often.
That flame which had faintly flickered in the whirlwind of my life, began to burn with a steady glow. I began experience both comfort and clarity from the warmth and illumination of His presence blazing within me.
He provided all sorts of kindling for His fire – His Word, circumstances and fellow believers.
One of the life-changing quotes that stares me in the face each day above my kitchen sink, was the basis for a college commencement address I heard on WCRF. It’s from
I Thessalonians 4:11. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands.” That about says it all.
First He helped me clear my calendar. I wrote a mission statement and weekly would plan out the week’s activities using the concepts from Steven Covey’s putting first things first. Somehow He got a list in my hands of things to think about before you say “yes!”
Just thinking about an opportunity before responding was new to me-and actually going through that list-equipped me to say “no” graciously.
At a Mother’s Day luncheon here once, Cindy Ferrini she explained that after being up all night with a sick child, she would say to God, “All right Lord, you know how much work I have to do and you know how tired I am, wake me at just the right time.”
This was an amazing revelation to me. I tried it myself and I experienced God’s amazing attentiveness to the details of my life. I started giving more and more of my prioritizing to Him.
In Oswald Chamber’s daily devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, he talks about “Moment to Moment obedience.” This has become my guiding mode of operation.
When I have a lot to do at home, at work, in the yard etc. I say, “OK Lord, what do you want me to do next?” And I just do the next thing.
It’s amazing how effective I am when I’m not wasting energy trying to manage it all myself.
The main discipline I have – actually the only oneJ - is that I have faithfully found time each morning to be alone with God. Over the years even that has evolved into less of a “to do” time and now I spend a lot more time on my knees just praying rather than doing bible studies, journaling etc. And the amazing thing is how, as I have relinquished a very structured quiet time, God has overwhelmed me with a deeper sense of His presence by exponentially increasing the number of “coincidences” I experience in a day.
It seems the more I pray, the easier I obey, and the more God takes over. He’s become my palm pilot, arranging the circumstances of my life – tucking in fun surprises, opportunities for refreshment, and a whole sense of awe.
He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies, He fills my life with good things. Psalm 103
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I know we’re addressing an issue that affects virtually everyone here. If you sit back and do nothing about it, next year at this time you will be more exhausted and empty and enslaved than you are right now. What does God want you to do? What changes will you make in your life this week, this moth, this year?
This week, I read what one pastor wrote and it inspires me. “As I enter my sixth decade of life with nearly thirty years of ministry behind me, my life feels more sustainable than at any other time – ever. From where I stand, my future seems bright. My marriage and family relationships bring me great joy. My energy for ministry and living is increasing. My passion for the… church… is growing. My love for God, for worship, and for lost people is escalating by the year. This is a life I can sustain and love.”
We are to help people grow to passionate followers of Christ. Think about it. A follower stays behind the One he is following. Most of us are simply not following. We are either ahead or out on a tangent.
So, what change is God telling you to make this week to help you slow down to a more sustainable pace? Are supposed to deal with your dark-side in some way? Are you being led to make sure you have that unhurried time with God? Are you being encouraged by the Spirit of God to make a diligent effort to do your day with God?
Let’s get off our too-fast skateboards before it’s too late! Listen to that still small voice and make the change He wants you to make… starting this week!
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Information for this message has come from the following sources:
My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers, especially devotionals on April 23 and 24
Courageous Leadership, by Bill Hybels, especially chapter 12… Developing an Enduring Spirit
Margin, by Richard Swenson, especially chapter 9… Margin in time
Spiritual Leadership, by Henry Blackaby, especially chapter 8… The Leader and decision-making and chapter 9… The Leader’s schedule
The Life You’ve Always Wanted, by John Ortberg
