Final Words of a Family Man
In the days before expectant fathers were allowed in the delivery room, four dads-to-be gathered in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, “Congratulations, sir. You’re the father of twins.” The man was very proud and said, “What a coincidence. I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.”
The nurse returned in a little while and spoke to the second man, “Dad, you’re the father of triplets.” The faltering father replied, “Wow, that’s an incredible coincidence. I work for 3M.”
An hour later, the nurse came back with some news for the third man, “Way to go! Your wife just gave birth to quadruplets.” The man was stunned and had to sit down. When he gathered himself he said, “I don’t believe it. What an incredible coincidence! I work at the Four Seasons Hotel.”
Just then the fourth guy fainted and crashed to the floor. The nurse rushed over to him and gave him some smelling salts. When he was finally able to speak, he kept muttering the same phrase over and over again: “I shouldn’t have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I shouldn’t have taken that job at 7-Eleven.”
This morning we’re focusing on the ultimate family man. While Jesus never married and had natural children, He was committed to His family. We see this especially in His dying moments as we listen to the third cry from the Cross recorded in John 19:25-27: “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’” As we’ve been learning in this series based on the Seven Shouts From the Savior, its no coincidence that Jesus spoke the words that He did. These anguished expressions perfectly reflect His person and purpose.
· Forgiveness (Luke 23:32-34)
· Salvation (Luke 23:39-43)
· Family (John 19:25-27)
· Loneliness (Matthew 27:45-46)
· Suffering (John 19:28-29)
· Triumph (John 19:30)
· Reunion (Luke 23:44-46)
Four Apathetic Soldiers
Before we reflect upon the four hurting women gathered near the cross, I want to set the scene by focusing not on four expectant fathers, but on four apathetic soldiers. Please turn in your Bible to John 19:23-24: “When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. ‘Let’s not tear it,’ they said to one another. ‘Let’s decide by lot who will get it.’ This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled which said, ‘They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.’ So this is what the soldiers did.”
Have you seen the commercial about the tourist on a cruise ship who is sightseeing for whales? As he looks down, fumbling with his camera, everyone else sees a great white whale fly out of the water. As the amateur photographer looks up, he sees the excited look on everyone’s faces and says, “What? Did I miss something?”
In a similar way, a whole group of guys missed something that Good Friday morning. Jesus had been placed under the supervision of four Roman soldiers who had beaten Him, marched Him to Golgotha, crucified Him and were ultimately responsible to make sure He was dead. They were so close to the foot of the cross and had somehow missed it. How is that possible? I think there were at least three reasons.
1. Familiarity. By the time of Christ, crucifixion had become the favorite method of execution in the Roman Empire. Historians tell us that Rome had already crucified more than 30,000 people in and around Judea. Crucifixions had become methodical to these four soldiers. It’s what they did for a living so they had become numb to it.
This was not just a problem in the first century. The Cross today has largely lost its impact because it’s so familiar. It’s amazing to realize that the instrument of execution in the first century has become a fashion statement today. We’ve sanitized and beautified what was once loathed and feared. Friends, some of us are no longer moved by what Jesus did on the cross because we’ve simply become too used to it. Those of us who have been Christians for a while can become numb and even bored by the cross. It’s not proximity that makes us believers. Sometimes those who grow up closest to the cross end up rejecting Him completely.
2. Prejudice. A second reason the soldiers missed what was happening is because the Romans hated the Jews and the soldiers stationed there would have found great pleasure in executing a Jewish man. That’s why they mocked Him with the robe, put a crown of thorns on Him and spit on Him. Do you remember the pictures of that U.S. soldier who was beaten and killed and dragged through the streets of Somalia? Those who murdered him didn’t know him. He was just a convenient scapegoat for their hatred of America. A similar sentiment was probably behind the kidnapping and murder of Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal reporter, who was killed in Pakistan sometime this past month.
Maybe you’re not moved by the Cross because you’re prejudiced against the people the cross represents. Perhaps a preacher has turned you off. Or a church has rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe you’ve been hurt by the hypocrisy of a Christ follower. Whatever it is, I encourage you to look beyond imperfect Christians and see Christ Himself.
3. Materialism. Roman law granted the soldiers the right to the clothes the executed man was wearing. John 19:23 tells us that they took the wardrobe of Jesus and divided it into four equal shares. By the way, we imagine Christ wearing some kind of loincloth when He hung on the cross. That’s how most movies show Him. In actuality, Jesus would have been stripped of every last article of clothing. We don’t like to think of this because it’s embarrassing, and even offensive. The humiliation of crucifixion was accentuated by the shame of nakedness and hearkens back to the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve were exposed by their sin and tried to hide their bare skin from God (see Genesis 3:10).
The contrast between what Jesus had when He lived with His Father in glory and what He has now is striking. As He hangs on the cross He has absolutely nothing to His name. He went from dazzling glory to stark nakedness. He suffered this shame so that He could clothe us with His righteousness.
These four pieces of apparel would consist of his sandals, his headgear, his outer garment, and a belt. It was fairly easy to divide these items up. But there was one more piece of clothing left. It was called the undergarment and it was worth more than anything else Jesus owned. It was most likely made out of linen or wool and was woven in one piece from top to bottom.
John 19:24 tells us that the soldiers did not want to divide this tunic into four pieces because it would have destroyed its value. And so they rolled the dice to see who would end up with it. Imagine with me what this scene must have looked like to Jesus. As He looked down past his bloody feet He saw common soldiers playing their part in the world’s most uncommon drama. As far as they’re concerned, its just another Friday morning and He’s just another criminal.
They were so busy looking down at the ground, thinking of material things that they never looked up to see the Savior of the world. They divided up used clothes while ignoring the eternal riches Jesus was offering them. They heard the first two shouts from the Savior offering forgiveness and salvation, but were too locked in to their loot to pay any attention to Him. Is it possible that you’re focused more on material things than on eternal realities? Don’t gamble your life away on things that won’t last.
No Coincidences
While the four new fathers expressed surprise at the coincidences surrounding the births of their babies, there are no coincidences surrounding the death of Jesus. Let me list just three things that happened on purpose.
1. The undergarment. According to history and Exodus 39:22, the high priest wore something very similar to the tunic Jesus was wearing. Leviticus 21:10 specifies that the high priest could never have his clothes torn. This reminds us that Jesus fits the role of the Old Testament priest, to be our go-between, our intercessor with the Father.
Hebrews 7:23-25: “Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.”
2. Fulfilled prophecy. It is also no coincidence that the soldiers divided up His belongings and gambled for his clothes. This was a predictive prophecy from Psalm 22:18 and is quoted in John 19:24: “They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.” According to Biblical scholars, there are 332 distinct prophecies in the Old Testament that have been literally fulfilled in Christ! (J.P. Free, “Archaeology and Bible History,” Page 284).
3. A gift from mother. According to legend, His mother gave this undergarment to Jesus. This was something that mothers normally gave their sons when they left home. If this is true, then there seems to be a connection between what the soldiers were doing and the third shout from the Savior. Right after we are told that they rolled the dice, verse 24 ends rather abruptly and pointedly: “So this is what the soldiers did.” Verse 25 begins with a focus on Mary: “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother…”
Chuck Swindoll writes, “Why now? She’s been there all along, watching and weeping. Why hasn’t He acknowledged or spoken to her? His outer garments were insignificant. But when they touched the tunic, they touched something very near to His heart—the garment made for Him by His mother” (“The Darkness and the Dawn,” 2001, 153-54).
4 Hurting Women
The harsh brutality of the crucifixion, the humiliation of Jesus, and the extreme apathy of the soldiers is softened by His words of comfort in the third cry from the cross. I don’t know about you, but when I’m in pain, I want other people to notice. It’s also really tough to think about someone else when we go through tough times. Jesus, in His dying moments, thought not of Himself, but others. Look at verse 25: “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.”
These women were related in some way to the Twelve and were among Jesus’ most loyal followers. These four women were “near” to the cross, not far away. They also “stood” strong instead of shutting down in their indescribable grief. It took courage for them to stand near the one who had been crucified. Let’s take a closer look at who these women were.
· His mother. The first time Mary is mentioned in the Gospel of John she is attending a wedding at Cana. Now she is preparing for a burial at Calvary. We can assume that she is a widow since we don’t hear about Joseph again after the trip to Jerusalem when Jesus was twelve. As the first-born son, Jesus was responsible to make sure she was cared for.
· His aunt. Mary’s sister was the mother who asked Jesus for special thrones for her two sons, James and John in Matthew 20:20. According to Mark her name was Salome. I’m sure the crucifixion scene provided another rebuke to her misplaced priorities.
· Mary, the wife of Clopas. We don’t know much about this woman except that she was married to Clopas. She was obviously a faithful follower.
· Mary Magdalene. This Mary was radically changed by Jesus, having had seven demons driven out of her. After her healing she traveled with Jesus and shared her material resources with His band of followers. After Jesus died, she was present when Joseph of Aramithea laid Jesus in the grave and on Easter Sunday she was the first one at the empty tomb.
Let me say that of the entire circle of 11 devoted disciples, only one male follower showed up at the cross. And that was after bailing on Jesus earlier. But there were four women! The majority of these same women show up at the resurrection site and become key players in the launch of the Christian church. Men, don’t ever underestimate the work and wisdom of a woman or the power of a praying wife. I don’t know why it is but it seems that daughters of Eve do a much better job of being faithful followers than do the sons of Adam. The entire fun family fellowship time last Sunday afternoon was planned and implemented by the Women’s Ministry team! I know I have greatly benefited from Beth’s vibrant faith as it splashes into my life. You go, girls!
Concern For a Mother
I love the care, concern, and compassion that flow from verse 26. This cry from the Cross, just like the first two, is totally unexpected: “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son.’” Let’s put ourselves in the sandals of Mary for a moment.
· In Luke 1:32, Mary is told that she will conceive and give birth to the Son of the Most High.
· Mary breaks out into song in Luke 1:47, rejoicing in the fact that she too will have a Savior.
· After the shepherds saw baby Jesus and began spreading the word about His amazing birth, Luke 2:19 says that, “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
· When Jesus was 8-days-old, He was presented in the Temple. Simeon took Jesus in his arms and blessed Him and then spoke some troubling words to Mary in Luke 2:34-35: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” Having a Son who was the Savior would mean bearing a sword as well. Great privileges bring great sorrows.
· The first time this sword lacerated her life was when innocent babies were massacred because of Herod’s fear of the Messiah in Matthew 2:16. Her and her family had to flee to Egypt for safety.
· Then, when Jesus was 12-years-old He stayed behind in Jerusalem while His parents continued traveling. When they realized that Jesus was not with them, they returned and were astonished that He was teaching in the Temple. Jesus told her that He had work to do in His father’s house. Luke 2:51 gives us insight into what Mary was thinking: “But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.”
Take a closer look at John 19:26. Jesus saw and then He spoke.
· He saw. As Jesus looks at his mother, he sees the sword skewering her soul. He can feel her agony and pain. He sees the look on her face as the soldiers roll the dice for his clothes. She flinches as one of them holds up the tunic she had lovingly made for her son. She saw the child she bathed and fed being stripped and flogged. When the soldier eventually shoved the spear into Jesus’ side, it had already filleted her heart. As Jesus looked at the woman who had given birth to Him, His eyes turned to the disciple whom He loved.
· He spoke. Jesus then said, “Dear woman, here is your son.” In that culture, instructions given by a dying man were like writing them on a piece of paper. It’s as if Jesus was preparing His will and executing it right on the spot. This oral testament, made in front of witnesses, was now binding. He knew he couldn’t take care of her any longer and so he entrusts her to John. In those days there was no Social Security or pension plans. She was a widow and since Jesus is the oldest son He was responsible to take care of his mother in her old age. Jesus is fulfilling the most basic and sacred obligation that any son ever had by living out the 5th Commandment found in Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and mother…” Even while performing redemption, Jesus was faithful to His responsibilities as a son.
Notice that Jesus does not refer to Mary as “mother.” In fact, Jesus never called her “mother” in the Gospels. As He did in John 2:4, so again he calls her, “Dear woman.” I can think of several reasons why He may have done this.
1. To reinforce separation. He referred to her as “dear woman” at the beginning of his public ministry at the wedding in Cana as He initiated the separation process from his mother. Now, in John 19, He purposeful calls her “woman” in order to complete the leaving process. To call someone “dear woman” was a term of great respect and affection but it’s as if He purposely avoided calling her His “mother.” She was available and faithful, but Jesus wants her to know that all earthly ties are now over. He was not disrespectful, but she needed to learn that He was a heavenly Son and she an earthly mother. She was the human vessel that God used to bring His eternal Son into the world.
2. To protect Mary. Using the word “mother” would have driven the sharp and painful sword predicted by Simeon even deeper into her spirit. In addition, by calling her “mother” the enemies of Christ may have inflicted ridicule and scorn on her. Jesus loved Mary too much to bring her more sorrow and grief.
3. To establish His role as Savior. Mary must now relate to Jesus not as her son, but as her Savior and Lord. The mother must become a fully devoted follower. She is not a co-redeemer, the Queen of Heaven, or contributor to salvation; she is one in need of redemption, just like we are.
4. To initiate adoption into family of God. The fellowship of family is forged under the Cross. You and I have the privilege of becoming members of His family, His brothers and sisters, if you will, when we determine to do what He asks of us. Just as John “adopted” Mary as his mother, so too we must be adopted into the family of God. Mary was not in the family of God just because she carried and cared for Jesus. She was adopted into God’s family when she put her faith in Christ for forgiveness of sins and salvation.
Jesus went out of his way to make this point in Luke 8 when Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see Him but couldn’t get close enough because of the crowd. Someone told Jesus that his mothers and brothers were outside and that they wanted to see Him. His response is instructive in Luke 8:21: “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.” Jesus is exalting obedience, not putting down his mother and brothers. As He steadfastly marched toward His appointment with death, He redefined His family in spiritual terms. Salvation is not determined by bloodline, but by the application of His shed blood on the Cross. When we hear the Word of God and live it out we give evidence that we’ve been adopted into His family.
Response of John
Look with me at John 19:27. After telling his mother to look to John for support, Jesus now turns to the disciple whom He loved and says, “Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” It was an incredible honor for a disciple to be given a role in the teacher’s family. Here John is given the responsibility and privilege to care for Mary. This is amazing because we know that Mary had other children, but we also know that they were very suspicious and unkind toward Jesus. That is, until after the resurrection when we find them with the other followers of Christ in the upper room in Acts 2:14: “They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.”
The disciple John models two wonderful qualities. First, he came back to Jesus. Even though he had bailed like the others when Jesus was arrested, he returned. And, when he came back, he found grace at the Cross. Second, he was willing to do whatever he was asked: “From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” He models obedience. He immediately took her home to a house in Jerusalem and according to legend, took her with him when he later moved to Ephesus. John did not question Jesus by saying, “What about your brothers and sisters? Can’t they take care of your mother?” His obedience was immediate, joyful and sacrificial and is a good example for us to follow.
Caring For Others
While others were indifferent to Christ’s final act of sacrificial love, Jesus was not indifferent to the needs of those present. The same is true today. He knows all about your needs. When He hung on the Cross, He thought of others. He forgave the unforgivable, He saved a terrorist, and He cared for His mother. And His care continues today in at least five ways.
1. By restoring those who have drifted away. John bolted when things got tough. But, he didn’t stay away. He returned to Jesus and wasn’t scolded or shamed. In fact, He was given grace and recomissioned for ministry. Friend, have you walked away? Have you backslidden? It’s time to come back. Allow His divine grace to melt your heart!
2. By giving us the opportunity to take His place. John was asked to care for Jesus’ mother. In a real sense, we are called to be His hands and feet for widows and children, especially in this age of fractured families. Jesus prayed to His father in John 17:18, “As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.” We are His brothers, sisters and mothers today. Widows need someone else’s son to take care of them. Single mothers benefit from surrogate fathers for their children.
Author Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four-year-old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly man who had recently lost his wife. When the little boy saw the man cry, the boy went into the man’s yard, climbed up on his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing. I just helped him cry.” Is there anyone you can help cry?
3. By launching a caring community called the church. It’s important to remember that the church was founded by a family man. The church is not a building, but a group of people who have been redeemed and given entirely new relationships. We’re called to relate to each other as “brother” and “sister,” doing whatever we can to care for one another. One of our six key purposes as a church is to provide an environment where caring relationships can be cultivated. Acts 2:42 says that the first followers were “devoted to the fellowship.” Are you devoted to this body of believers? Are you transparent and vulnerable with others? Are you looking for ways to care for your brothers and sisters? Some of you have disengaged or unplugged from people. The church is here to help you connect with God and with others. Take advantage of it!
4. By modeling how to honor our parents. Jesus fully discharged the obligation of every relationship that He sustained, either to God or man. When He honored his mother, he gave us an example to do the same. Here are some ways you can live out the 5th Commandment:
· Tell your parents you love them. Make a phone call. Send an email. Write a note. Or make a visit and say, “I love you.” Someone has said, “If you’re too busy to love your parents, you’re too busy.”
· Ask God to help you think of ways to honor them. Do your parents have a need right now? Is there something practical you can do for them? When God nudges you, then do what He’s asking you to do before it’s too late.
· If you can’t honor them while they’re alive, you can remember them after they die. The best way to honor someone is to never forget him or her. Talk about them. Live out their legacy.
· If you’re unable to speak good about your parents, you can honor them by refusing to speak evil of them. Some of you have not had very good parents. Maybe you’ve never met your dad or your mom. Maybe they didn’t do their job very well. You can still honor them by forgiving them and refusing to talk bad about them. Silence can be a form of honor for those who deserve nothing else.
5. By adopting people into His family today. If you have never put your faith in Christ, don’t gamble your life away in the shadow of the cross. Don’t allow yourself to become apathetic through familiarity, prejudice, or materialism. No one gets in automatically by birth. The only way to be adopted is by the second birth. When we’re born the first time we enter our human family. When we’re born again we become adopted members of God’s family. Have you done that?
One day a first-grade teacher showed her class a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had different colored hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was probably adopted. Just then a little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted. To be adopted means that you grew in your mommy’s heart instead of her tummy.”
If you’ve not been adopted into the family of God, you can be if you will just put your faith in Christ. You will then grow in God’s heart and become the hands and feet of Jesus in the world today
