Be Intentional
#8 – Finding Fantastic Fellowship
Hebrews 10:24-25
March 9, 2003
Introduction
How many here today would say that friendship is important?
I think everybody does, even those who don’t seem to have any friends.
Even Oscar the Grouch had friends – they were other grouches, but they were his friends.
And truth be told, everybody on Sesame Street was his friend, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
Friendship is important. Today I want to visit with you about a very specific and important aspect of friendship, and that is the issue of fellowship.
Fellowship is basically the developing and nurturing of relationships built on a common foundation in Christ. And it’s one of the tools God uses to help us become more godly.
It’s more than just a bunch of Christians getting together for any old reason, although I think fellowship can take place in any context, so long as the goal is the building up of each other.
What I want to talk about today is how we can achieve fantastic relationships of fellowship among the body of Christ.
And my fervent hope is that you will leave here today not just convinced of the importance of fellowship, but ready to act to make if more a part of your own life, as God is moving to help me make it more a part of mine.
The basis for our message is Hebrews 10:24-25, which is printed at the top of your note-taking guide. Please join me in reading this aloud:
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Today I want to offer four facts about fantastic fellowship that I think will go a long way in helping us understand the issue of fellowship, and give us some practical help in gaining better fellowship amongst ourselves.
And the first fact about fantastic fellowship is that…
Fact #1: Fellowship reflects the communion we
have with God.
Fellowship with other followers of Christ is possible only because of our fellowship with God Himself.
1 John 1:3 says:
We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.
Fellowship is based on relationship with other Christians. And that relationship is based on a mutual love for Christ.
A strong fellowship is reflective of the bond we share as children of God. Individuals who love God love each other. And they look to their benefit in all things.
We seek to help that person be all they can be in Christ, because we know that God loves that person with an infinite love, just as He loves us.
An authentic love for God results in an authentic love for people, especially the children of God.
A fellowship of people committed to mutual encouragement has fewer harmful conflicts. Paul talks about that all the time in his letters. Check them out sometime.
Fact #2 about fantastic fellowship is that…
Fact #2: Fellowship provides an avenue for
Christlike service.
Verse 24 in our passage says:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
One of the goals of my pastorate here is to do just that: encourage you toward love and good deeds in Jesus’ name.
Some of the best ways of doing those good deeds are done in the context of fellowship.
Joining forces with someone with whom you have a relationship in Christ makes for a powerful witness to the community.
One of the best ways a church can shine in the community is to meet the needs of those outside the church and the family of God.
Ideas for this kind of thing include such things as throwing grocery showers for those in need of food or having car maintenance clinics for single parents who can’t afford an oil change or a new battery.
Our church participated in the Salvation Army’s bell-ringing campaign last Christmas. That was helping to meet a real need in the community in the name of Christ.
There are lots of ideas of service that will meet a real need, expose people to the fellowship of the church, and show the love of God.
Fellowship provides an avenue for Christlike service.
The third fact about fantastic fellowship is that…
Fact #3: Fellowship builds community within
the church.
When we are in fellowship with one another, it shouts to the world that Jesus Christ is still in the business of changing and repairing lives.
It allows people to see that there are people who actually love their neighbors as themselves, encouraging them toward Christlikeness, praying for them, forgiving them when necessary, and just showing genuine love and concern for someone other than themselves.
Let me read a section from Bill Hybel’s book, Rediscovering Church:
Bill Hybels recalls a time when Dr. Gilbert Bilezikian was speaking for a leadership conference at Willow Creek Community Church. He writes about it like this… “Dr. Bilezikian said there’s life-changing fellowship in biblically functioning community. That was a far cry from the childhood experience of a lot of his audience! The only kind of fellowship that many of his listeners had witnessed revolved around the fifteen or twenty minutes after the service when the men would stand around the church patio and ask each other superficial questions.
‘So how’s it going at work Jake,’ one of them would ask.
‘Fine, Phil. Say, you driving a new pickup?’
‘Used,’ Phil would reply. ‘What do you have going this week?’
‘Not much.’
‘Well, great fellowshipping with you, Jake.’
‘Same here.’
That was about it. They’d (find their wives who) were having similar conversations, and go home until next week.
But the Bible says true fellowship has the power to revolutionize lives. Masks come off, conversations get deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, accountability is invited, and tenderness flows. People really do become like brothers and sisters. They shoulder each other’s burdens - and unfortunately, that’s something that few of the people in that audience had experienced while growing up in church.
In many churches it just didn’t seem legal to tell anyone you were having a problem. Families that sat in the same pew for years would suddenly disappear, because the husband and wife were in turmoil over marriage problems. Instead of coming to the church for help and prayer and support, they fled the other way, because they didn’t feel the freedom to say, ‘We love Jesus, but we’re not doing very well. Our lives feel like they’re unraveling. We need some help!’
The implicit understanding was that you shouldn’t have a problem, and if you did you’d better not talk about it around the church.
I learned that lesson well. When I got old enough to stand on the church patio after services, someone would say, ‘So, Bill, how are things in high school?’
And I’d give the response that I thought was expected. ‘Fine, Ben,’ I’d say. ‘They’re just great.’
I didn’t feel I could tell him that my heart was being ripped to shreds because my girlfriend and I had broken up. Or that I was flat-lined spiritually. Or that I had an older brother who was drinking too much and driving too fast, and I was scared about where his life was heading.
I didn’t say anything, because I felt that a good Christian just didn’t admit to having those kinds of real-life difficulties. And in many churches, that’s called fellowship. It shouldn’t be.” (Rediscovering Church, p. 159-160) Contributed by: Matthew Rogers (SermonCentral.com)
I have been harping on the need for each of us to develop a real, deep, and authentic relationship with God.
But that cannot happen in a fellowship that stifles the authenticity we claim we want. So we as a church need to be intentional about inviting, encouraging, and practicing authenticity in our own lives in the context of this fellowship of believers.
Bill Hybels also makes this statement. “If you create a loving community, first time seekers will sniff it and say “I want in.”
Contributed by: Denn Guptill (SermonCentral.com)
I don’t know about you, but that’s what I want people to see in this church – a loving community that cares for the needs of people.
One of the goals of the survey you received is to help us determine how to build a stronger community here at Aberdeen Wesleyan.
Without your input, the leadership has to use only their own feelings, experiences, and best guesses about how to go about enhancing the fellowship and community here. So please help us out here, okay?
By the way, let me quickly spell out a danger that can sneak up on a church if it’s not careful.
In the seeking of a stronger community within the church, a congregation can become a bunch of cliques within themselves.
And then they’re more worried about protecting the group than about reaching those outside who need Christ and the support the church has to offer.
One of my desires for this church is that we gain a reputation as being one of the friendliest and inviting churches in town. And I think we’re pretty friendly.
In fact, let me brag on some of you for a bit. I’m thrilled with the group of greeters we have here on Sundays. They are on the front-lines of our ministry at worship time.
When a guest comes through the door, they are greeted warmly and welcomed to the church.
We have some people who go out of their way to welcome guests, even if they are not the greeters that day.
I would almost bet, if I were a betting man, that not one single guest has come through this church that has not been personally greeted by Lowell Harms when he is here.
He makes it a point to make sure he shakes the hand of everybody new, and gets to know them a bit. I think we have a friendly church.
But research among church consultants shows that while almost every church considers itself friendly, not all of them are.
The people in those churches are very friendly to each other, but not very friendly to visitors or “outsiders,” especially if those people don’t fit the mold that church has created for people in order for them to be accepted. May that never be said of this church.
By the way, this has nothing to do with the message, but let me share with you 10 signs that you’re in a bad church:
10. The church bus has gun racks.
9 . The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
7. There’s an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
5. Worship services are BYOS - "Bring your own snake."
4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
3. Karaoke Worship Time
2. Ushers ask, "Smoking or non-smoking?"
1. The only song the organist knows is "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida." (SermonCentral.com)
The fourth and final fact about fantastic fellowship is this:
Fact #4: The goal of fellowship is mutual
encouragement toward Christlikeness.
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
One of the defining marks of fellowship is that it means we get together. We meet in various settings. We get in each other’s company.
In a little bit I’ll list some ways we can do the “getting together” part. But I want to focus now on the “mutual encouragement” aspect of fellowship for a while.
During times of fellowship, we can talk about how our lives are going, seek and find encouragement to keep going, and find strength from our relationships.
Let me read Proverbs 27:17 –
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
One of the greatest benefits of fellowship is that we can help each other sharpen our relationship with God and other people.
Sometimes that means giving someone a big ol’ “Atta boy” or praise for something we see that is encouraging about that person.
Sometimes it means gently “getting in the face” of your brother or sister to let them know that something in their life is not reflecting Christlikeness. If done right, this results in the betterment of the other person, and a deepening of the relationship between the two people.
Some of you have done this for me, and I appreciate it. And one of the reasons I appreciate it is because you’ve approached me in humility, not looking down on me. You were honestly seeking the betterment of my walk with God and my ministry.
We need relationships where there is mutual give and take – where we can speak our minds and not be afraid; where we can challenge each other and if necessary, confront each other.
Another word for this type of give and take is “accountability.” And I dare say there’s not enough of it in the church today.
Not too long ago, Lowell Harms called me about something – I can’t remember what about, but he could sense that something was not totally kosher.
My voice gave evidence that something was up. I can’t go into all the details, but suffice to say my wife was sad about something, and the timing of the call reflected concern in my voice.
Lowell asked me if everything was all right with me. I assured him it was – that I was fine, but that my wife was sad.
We ended the call, but a few minutes later Lowell called back. And he said, “I already asked you if you were all right, and you told me you were, but I wasn’t totally convinced. So I’m asking you again – are you okay?”
Folks, that’s love that can only exist because of fellowship based on an authentic relationship with Christ. Concern for me is a natural outflow of Lowell’s love for Christ. That love caused him to be bold to make sure everything was on the up and up.
He was living out the truth found Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
ECC 4:9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
The main strength of fellowship is the strength that can only come from joining with someone else on this journey of faith in Christ in a world that by and large does not love Him.
You see, we can come to God just as we are, warts and all, and we know that God won’t reject us.
The Bible tells us we are to come alongside those who are struggling in their walk with God, not reject them.
So let me ask you: can someone approach you and tell you they are struggling, without fear that you’ll reject them?
Maybe they have a sin in their life they can’t seem to conquer. Can they come to you for support and prayer without fear that you will blab it to others?
Galatians 6 tells us we are to share each other’s burdens, being careful not be prideful, thinking we’ve got it all together, or we might end up with the same problems.
Oh, and by the way. Fellowship is not another word for “gossip session.” We don’t get together for “prayer sessions” where the main topic of our “prayers” is the faults of other people. Gossip is never good – it’s a sin.
Let me just encourage you to develop relationships that are designed to help you become more Christlike.
So…
Look for opportunities for fellowship:
What are some ways we get together for this mutual encouragement?
The Worship service is one way. Coming together for worship is a great avenue of fellowship.
But we sell ourselves short if we only fellowship before and after the worship service.
Getting together with people of like interests, and encouraging each other in those interests as well as in each other’s walk with God.
Maybe you know of other Christians who share your hobby or vocational interests. You can fellowship with them.
For instance, there are Christian businessmen’s organizations, athletic organizations, student organizations, or whatever. I think you get the idea.
One thing I would like to promote is the developing of different fellowship groups within our church body.
Other opportunities for fellowship include:
Church-sponsored activities such as pot-lucks, ladies’ groups, and other celebrations.
Small-group Bible studies, prayer groups or support groups.
Travel time to retreats or other events.
Impromptu meetings.
Various events such as Heartland Men of Integrity, Women of Faith, Promise Keepers, etc.
Meeting for coffee or pizza after a concert or ball game.
Conclusion
Fellowship is incredibly important. I have not been as intentional about developing the fellowship of this church, and I ask your forgiveness for that.
Your church leadership is looking for ways to enhance the fellowship, as I’ve mentioned before.
But understand that you need to be willing to take some initiative in this area. We can develop programs to build up the fellowship, but it’s up to you to actually develop the relationships that bring strong fellowship.
Ask God if there are some relationships here at the church that you could work to develop, for mutual encouragement.
I pray that God will help you with that – and if you’re serious, you can be sure that He will help you. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God smiles on godly fellowship.
We’re about to celebrate the Lord’s Supper. And one of the requirements of taking communion is that you be in harmony with your Christian brothers and sisters.
If you are not in harmony with another Christian, if a relationship is fractured, then you are asked to patch that up before taking communion.
So I want to issue a challenge to you today. If you cannot say you are in true fellowship with another Christian, I want you to pass the elements by.
Don’t take them. It’s not honest. And I want you to feel free to pass them by without anybody wondering why. It’s not their business anyway. It’s between you, the other person, and God.
We’ll respect that, I promise.
And when you leave here today, begin the process of patching up that broken relationship, for their benefit, your benefit, and the glory of God.
Shall we pray.
