Today, I want you all to put yourselves into the shoes of an unchurched visitor to (insert the name of your church).
Becoming a part of a new church is about developing an entirely new network of relationships and emotional connections. That’s a big step for people; they move into it cautiously, especially those who have been disappointed by churches in the past.
Most people who visit a new church for the first time aren’t clear about what they are looking for, but they are quite sure of what they are not looking for, because they have already experienced it in other churches.
A Lutheran pastor’s experience may shed some light on this issue: “I was in a church where we had a 40 foot stretch between the door to the worship center and the doorway into the sanctuary. We established a rule that a visitor needed to be greeted al least four times before they got into the sanctuary. And it worked! They were greeted every ten feet. Except there was one little problem: that wasn’t what the culture of the church was really like. Most of the people just stood along the outer walls of the church, they weren’t enthusiastic about new people joining us. So, a visitor would enter, get a warm and friendly greeting several times, and think, ‘This is a pretty good church, let’s join.’ For a few weeks, until they become known, they were treated nicely and greeted warmly, but then they became part of the familiar crowd. They sort of settled in and all of a sudden they’re looking around wondering ‘What happened? Now I’m not important anymore?’ And it was because we created a false culture. The people who really were the heart of the church just weren’t interested in them. We had created a false façade to the church and it was really harmful.”
A pastor said, “You can’t really fool people into thinking you care if you don’t. They’ve seen that a hundred times before. They’re really sensitive to it.”
People don’t want a friendly church. They want a friend. We have find ways to help the new people God gives us to find genuine friends.
We have to develop an authentic culture – and atmosphere here at Klamath Assembly of God that says that we are a genuinely loving and caring people.
A new visitor begins to evaluate us the minute they drive into the parking lot. Either consciously or unconsciously they evaluate the appearance of the building, how people interact with them as they are walking to the door. They notice the friendliness and helpfulness of the greeter, but instinctively they know not to judge everyone else by the greeter, because that’s their job to be friendly. They notice the lighting, the cleanliness of the bathrooms, but more than anything else, they are noticing you. Do you greet them? Do you make eye contact? Do you spend time with them, genuinely interested in them as individuals? Do you learn their name?
The next thing they notice is how we relate with each other. Do we really love and care for each other? Do they pick up cues that there really is a spirit of love among us? Not long after they step foot on our campus, they will be greeted by Alice. As most of you know, Alice is a gentile and humble woman who loves to greet people. Outsiders instinctively know that Alice is a barometer of just how genuine we really are. After they meet Alice they will watch and see just how the rest of us treat her. How we treat Alice speaks volumes to the outside visitor. An outsider will immediately pick up on whether you truly love her or whether you just tolerate her. Listen, I am convinced that God has sent Alice here to help train us how to love one another.
How many of you have had Alice over for dinner? How many of you have taken the time to truly get to know her? If you have anything else in your heart but love toward Alice, then God needs to take you out to the spiritual wood shed.
Research shows that the outsider doesn’t really listen to the content of the sermon that closely during their first two or three visits, but they scrutinize the delivery, the tone, the audience reaction, and both the speaker’s and the congregation’s body language very carefully.
They are sizing us up.
They want to know, “Am I going to be accepted here? Am I going to be able to find friends here? Am I going to find people who genuinely care about me here?” That’s what they want to know about us.
People don’t want a friendly church, they want a friend. They want a church where they can be loved and cared for.
John 13:34-35 Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
It’s easy to be a surface friendly church, but it’s another thing all together to be a loving church.
All right, you are Mr. or Mrs. Outsider and you decide to visit Klamath Assembly of God for Sunday morning worship.
You are a little nervous, because you have never been here before. In fact, this may be the first time you’ve been in a church since you went to a wedding last year.
The greeter was nice enough and you nervously walk the gauntlet of people sitting in the couches in the lobby. They make eye contact with you but don’t say anything. You wonder if they are visitors too. There are people in groups of three of four talking with each other. They are obviously members here because they already have friends they are talking too.
Hmmm. Is they’re anyone here I know already? Is there anybody here like me? Is there someone here I could become friends with?
Well, they all look kind of old to me. I guess I’ll put Johnny in the nursery and head for the sanctuary. Boy, I sure do hope the nursery is clean and the nursery workers will do a good job watching my Johnny, he means the world to me.
Well, here we go, into the sanctuary. Kind of reminds me of going into a courtroom. It’s kind of intimidating. Are we supposed to cross ourselves or something – I’ve seen them do that in the movies? Nope, better not, no one else is doing it.
O, Here comes a little old lady who wants to shake my hand, “Smile, God loves you!” Wow, that was interesting – she sure is friendly.
O, Here comes a guy in a suit and tie, “ Hi, I’m Joe Overdressed, welcome to our church.” “Hi, I’m John Outsider and this is my wife Juli Outsider.” “Glad to meet you, John and Juli – make yourself at home and enjoy the service.” “That guy was nice, I think I like him, he must be a preacher or something.”
Honey, let’s sit down and read this bulletin – my these are sure comfortable pews. Is there anyone else here we know honey? I don’t see anyone.
Man, there sure is a lot of stuff going on around here, this bulletin is packed with activities.
O, here comes a guy to introduce himself, “Hi, my name is Stan.” “Hi, I’m John Outsider and this is my wife Juli.” “Welcome, you got any kids?” “Why yes, Johnny, he’s 13 months.” “We have a great youth department here, I’m sure he’ll fit right in.” “But he’s only 13 months old, I don’t think he’s ready for the youth department yet.” “O, I thought you said he was 13. OK, now I get you. It’s a good thing I don’t vote in Florida. (Big smile) It’s good to make your aquataince John and Juli – enjoy our service.” Wow, that guy sure was nice, and funny too.”
It looks like the service is getting started, lets watch everyone else and do what they do and try not to embarrass ourselves. I sure hope they don’t ask the visitors to stand up or something – that would be way embarrassing.
Hey, there’s that Joe guy we met earlier – I knew he was a preacher or something. Ok, he’s done with the announcements and now he’s praying – I wonder if we are supposed to close our eyes or something. Oh, he’s done now and everyone is getting out a song book. All right that wasn’t so bad.
Uh oh, now he wants everyone to greet one another. I hope we don’t stand out like a sore thumb. That wasn’t so bad, we met a lot of nice people and Alice shook our hand again – boy she gets around. That’s odd, that guy told Alice that she already shook his hand – he was kind of short with her. Hmmmm.
Here comes a funny looking offering purse – I’ll throw a couple of bucks in.
Wow, I really liked the hymns and the worship music, these people like to sing. Strange, but while we were singing it seemed like God was really close to me. I like it that these people feel free to worship. They raised their hands and some even danced – cool.
Well, here comes the sermon, I sure hope my coffee holds out…… That wasn’t so bad, he was funny, serious and seemed to make sense, I think I’ll pay more attention next week if we decide to come back.
Well, we are dismissed – I wonder if anyone will invite us over for lunch? It sure would be nice to make some friends. “Well, Honey, let’s pick up Johnny and head out.”
Johnny seemed to like his nursery experience and we saw some nice people picking up their kids. It seems like everyone is talking in groups again. I sure wish one of those groups would invite us to join in on the conversation. Oh, well.
In the car on the way home, “What did you think Juli?” “Well, the people seemed nice, I didn’t understand everything the pastor said. I’m uncomfortable meeting new people anyway, but it seemed like – well – like people were content to stay in their own little groups and I think it will be hard for us to find new friends there because I didn’t see a whole lot of people our age and it’s really hard to get in with a group of people you don’t know. Maybe we should try another church next time.
Two days later, “Honey, did we get any mail? Usual bills and a nice hand written letter from Pastor Joe – isn’t that nice.”
Now that is the beginning experience of new visitors to Klamath Assembly of God. Now that they have their foot in the door, what do we do next to turn them from outsiders into insiders? Our job isn’t finished yet.
In our Bible reading this week we read Hebrews 10:23-25 “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
I took this passage to heart and thought long and hard about how to spur you on toward love and good deeds.
So as your pastor, I’ve made some decisions that will help us to become better at befriending and caring for the new people God sends us. We are about to transform the culture of this church. By the Holy Spirit of God and sound pastoral leadership we are going to learn to specialize in turning outsiders into insiders.
But before I tell you what we are going to do, I want to read some Scriptures to you.
Today’s reading, Hebrews 13:1
13:1 Keep on loving each other as brothers. 2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
1 John 4:7-12
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
Rom 12:9-13
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
1 Peter 4:7-10
7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.
All right, this is what we are going to do.
#1 Desert with friends
#2 Assignment of people to take visitors out to lunch after church.
#3 We will make an intentional effort to learn the names of our visitors.
