Slide #1
FAMILIES IN FLAMES
Slide #2
There is no such thing as the “perfect family.” The reason for this is that there is no such thing as “perfect people.” Jesus was the only “perfect person” that ever lived – which leaves you out.
Because there are no “perfect people” it is impossible to have “perfect families.” Which means, that to some degree you are a part of a dysfunctional family.
Slide #3
Now some of you think that your families are top of the line, as near to “perfect” as it gets. And it’s true that some families have it more together than others, but the bottom line is that because of sin, we all have to deal with dysfunction in our families.
Slide #4
Webster’s Dictionary defines “dysfunction” as abnormal, impaired or incomplete functioning. And by the way, Webster himself had a dysfunctional relationship with his wife. I heard that the reason the dictionary came about was because Webster got into a fight with his wife, that’s right, and well… one word let to another J
Slide #5
Dysfunctional families are nothing new, they are as old as the first family. Do you remember the two sons of Adam and Eve – Cain and Able? Well what happened to Able? Cain killed him because of jealousy.
Slide #6
Here in America our divorce rate hovers around 50%, abortions continue to occure on a routine basis, spousal abuse, child abuse, drug and alcohol abuse and excuse abuse are a persistant problem in our communities.
Oh, you’re probably wondering what “excuse abuse” is – well, it’s when a person refuses to take responsibility for their own actions. Life problems are conviently blamed on someone or something else.
Slide #7
A good example of this is the recent court case where an overweight person sued McDonalds for making him fat. Now that’s “excuse abuse” plain and simple.
Dysfunctional families are all around us, some are more noticible than others because they allow their dysfunction to spill into the public areana (for example, hollywood actors) while other families just suffer in silence.
Slide #8
As a side note, it always amazes me that these dysfunctional, filthy rich, hollywood stars, who can’t stay married, can’t stay sober and can’t even stay employed have the audacity to go on national television and try to tell the President and Congress how to run the country. And what’s even more rediculous is that people actually listen to them.
I ask you, if the Hollywood set can’t even run their own lives, how can they propose to run the nation?
Dysfunction is all around us, in our families, our communities, our media and our culture.
Sounds kind of bleak doesn’t it.
Slide #9
But there is good news. Just as God loves dysfunctional sinful individuals, He also loves dysfunctional families.
Don’t get me wrong, God doesn’t approve of sin and dysfunction – not at all, but He does love the people that make up families. He sent His Son Jesus to die for them.
So, the good news today is that there is HOPE for families no matter how messed up they are.
Whether you have a severly dysfunctional family or a mildly dysfunctional family, there is HOPE for you today!
This week in our Bible reading we’ve been reading about a severly dysfunctional family. I’m talking about Jacob’s family.
The name “Jacob” means “to take hold of” or “supplanter.” Websters Dictionary indicates that a “supplanter” is a person who takes hold of the possessions of someone else through force or plotting.
If you recall, Jacob was one of the twin sons of Isaac and Rebekah. The brother of Esau, he was also known by the name “Israel.”
Jacob was born in answer to his father’s prayers and he became the favorite son of his mother. He was nicknamed Jacob because, at the birth of the twins, "his hand took hold of Esau’s heel as they exited the womb. According to the accounts in Genesis, Jacob continued to "take hold of" the possessions of others throughout his life - his brother’s birthright, his father’s blessing, and his father-in-law’s flocks and herds.
Jacob was himself dysfunctional, yet God loved him and would bless him and cause his descendants to become the great nation named after him - Israel.
Slide #10
Before we read the scripture, let me give you some background. Jacob had four wives Leah, Rachel, Bilhah and Zilpah. From these wives came twelve sons who would eventually become the heads of the 12 tribes of Israel. From the start, this was a dysfunctional family full of anger, resentment and jealousy causing infighting and rilvery between the sons of these four wives. Two of the wives, Leah and Rachel, were sisters and were themselves jealous and resentful of each other, and this carried over to the kids.
Slide #11
Gen 37:1-11, “So Jacob settled again in the land of Canaan, where his father had lived. 2 This is the history of Jacob’s family. When Joseph was seventeen years old, he often tended his father’s flocks with his half brothers, the sons of his father’s wives Bilhah and Zilpah. But Joseph reported to his father some of the bad things his brothers were doing. 3 Now Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day he gave Joseph a special gift--a beautiful robe. 4 But his brothers hated Joseph because of their father’s partiality. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.
Slide #12
5 One night Joseph had a dream and promptly reported the details to his brothers, causing them to hate him even more. 6 "Listen to this dream," he announced. 7 "We were out in the field tying up bundles of grain. My bundle stood up, and then your bundles all gathered around and bowed low before it!"
8 "So you are going to be our king, are you?" his brothers taunted. And they hated him all the more for his dream and what he had said.
Slide #13
9 Then Joseph had another dream and told his brothers about it. "Listen to this dream," he said. "The sun, moon, and eleven stars bowed low before me!"
10 This time he told his father as well as his brothers, and his father rebuked him. "What do you mean?" his father asked. "Will your mother, your brothers, and I actually come and bow before you?" 11 But while his brothers were jealous of Joseph, his father gave it some thought and wondered what it all meant. NLT
Slide #14
Notice the high level of dysfunction in this family. First, the Bible tells us tha Joseph was a tattle-tale, always finking on his half-brothers. We also know that he couldn’t keep his thoughts to himself about his dreams.
Second we are told that Jacob played favorites – favoring Joseph over all his other sons – a sure fire recipe for disaster.
Third, we are told that Joseph’s brothers “hated” him and were “Jealous” of him.
Just in these few passages we are allowed a glimpse into a highly dysfunctional family that was headed for trouble. If this were a modern family, a psychologist might look at this dysfunctional family and pronounce it hopeless.
No amount of psychobable, counseling or therapy could fix this family – it was useless.
But God had another idea. God had a plan that would not only repair the damage that had been done in this family, but He was planning to make them into a great nation.
This gives us hope. Your family may be all messed up. You may think that you have the “poster family” for “dysfunctional family of the year”. But despite how messed up your family might be, you need to know that God loves your family and has a plan of redemption for them.
Keep that thought in mind as I tell you the rest of the story.
- Jacob sends Joseph on a spying mission
Slide #15
- Joseph’s brothers plot to kill him
Slide #16
- Reuben rescues him
- Sold into slavery
- Lie to Dad about what really happened
- 13 years later Pharo had a dream
o 7 fat cows – 7 skinny cows
- Joseph becomes govenor of Egypt
- 9 more year pass and Joseph’s brothers show up to buy food
- Joseph’s brothers don’t recognize him
- Joseph remembers the dreams
- Joseph has a momentary emotional meltdown
o It’s been 22 years since his brothers sold him into slavery.
o Joseph could have sent an expeditionary force to Cannan to look for his family, but he didn’t.
o Joseph had his own wives and kids and was probably determined to go on with life without further contact with his family.
o Joseph had to work through his emotions and realize that God had his hand in this all along.
o In severly dysfunctional families emotional upheavel is a constant. Before we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we will cry a bucket of tears – guaranteed!
- Joseph endulges himself with a little fun with his brothers
o Accuses them as spies
o Requirement that Benjamin be brought to him
o Money in the grain
o Cup in the grain
o Reunited
After Joseph revealed his identity to his brothers the Bible records that he said this:
Gen 45:3-8 "I am Joseph!" he said to his brothers. "Is my father still alive?" But his brothers were speechless! They were stunned to realize that Joseph was standing there in front of them. 4 "Come over here," he said. So they came closer. And he said again, "I am Joseph, your brother whom you sold into Egypt. 5 But don’t be angry with yourselves that you did this to me, for God did it. He sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. 6 These two years of famine will grow to seven, during which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 God has sent me here to keep you and your families alive so that you will become a great nation. 8 Yes, it was God who sent me here, not you! And he has made me a counselor to Pharaoh--manager of his entire household and ruler over all Egypt.” NLT
This true account has a happy ending. Joseph sent for his father and all the families of his brothers and settled them in the land of Goshen where he could supply them with food and where their flocks could flourish, and floursh they did!
It’s amazing how God can take a severly dysfunctional family and bring it to a point of redemption.
So, if your family is dysfunctional, take it to God as a matter of prayer. Ask God to supernaturally intervene and bring about redemption.
Just like God used Joseph to rescue his family, he may be using you to rescue your family. The role of the rescuer is not without pain and suffering. You might be required to take a stand against alchol abuse, pornography, drugs, or whatever dreadful sin has taken up residence in your family. You may have to confront the people you love with the truth and endure abuse yourself.
Remember, Joseph endured tremendous abuse which resulted in the redemption of his family.
So, let me encourage you, don’t be afraid. You are a member of God’s family now. Pray about it and then do what God directs you to do. Remember you are a child of the King – a member of the royal priesthood. You have the right to ask God to save your family.
Rom 8:15-17, “So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God’s very own children, adopted into his family--calling him "Father, dear Father." 16 For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God’s children. 17 And since we are his children, we will share his treasures--for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.” NLT
So, children of God, take hope! Be encouraged! For God cares abour you and your family.
Don’t give up, keep praying.
Don’t give up, keep believing.
Don’t give up, stay the course, help is on the way!
