INTRODUCTION
Opening Statement: Ray Stedman tells about a boy who was in the army. He was a Christian and had formed the habit of praying beside his bed before he went to sleep. He kept up this practice in the army, but he became an object of mockery and ridicule to the entire barracks. One night he knelt to pray after a long, weary march. As he was praying, one of his tormentors took off his muddy boots and threw them at the boy, one at a time, hitting him on each side of his head. The Christian said nothing about it, and just took the boots and put them beside the bed and continued to pray. But the next morning, when the other man woke up, he found his boots sitting beside his bed, all shined and polished. Love won. That led, after a time, to that man becoming a Christian.
Transition: Last week, I talked to you about letting love win. I continue this theme today.
Theme: True love manifests itself in sacrificial action. Love and sacrifice go hand-in-hand with husbands and wives, with brother’s and sister’s, with teammates, with business partners, with God and humanity. Last week, we extended the parameters of love into an exciting, life-changing area that includes your enemies, your opponents, your competitors and those who set themselves up as your antagonist for whatever reason.
Title: Love and Sacrifice
Text: Romans 12:9-21
Notation: Some have noted in this passage the “actions” of love in TWO ATTENTION SHIFTS alternating from love and sacrifice as it relates to believers and love and sacrifice as it relates to non-believers: Love and Sacrifice in Christian Relationships (9-13) and Love and Sacrifice in Non-Christian Relationships (14-21). The first deals with how love looks in the Christian family. The second deals with how love looks in the world outside of the family.
Love and Sacrifice in Christian Relationships (9-13)
•Love is sincere and honest with the truth. (9)•Love gives preference to other believers. (10)•Love relishes Christian service. (11)•Love responds positively to trials. (12)•Love practices generosity and hospitality. (13)
Love and Sacrifice in Non-Christian Relationships (14-21)
•Love reacts positively to persecution. (14) • Love empathizes with a fellow-believer and especially an enemy. (15) • Love shows special regard in relationships and for the down-and-out. (16) •Love refuses to react in kind to evil. (17-18)•Love rejects all motives of revenge. (19-21)
Observation: It is clearly unmistakable that three times in this passage the apostle stressed the fact that you are not to return evil for evil. And this point applies to those within the family, but especially those outside of the family because so much is at stake with those on the outside and their perception of the Christian faith. In Verses 14, 17, and 21 he underscores the fact that the major way we express love in the world is by not reacting in vengeance when we are mistreated by the world. We’ve got to give our enemies to God. When we sacrifice our lives, we sacrifice our right to settle the score.
Recitation: Romans 12:9 Love must be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. 12:10 Be devoted to one another with mutual love, showing eagerness in honoring one another. 12:11 Do not lag in zeal, be enthusiastic in spirit, serve the Lord. 12:12 Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer. 12:13 Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality. 12:14 Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 12:16 Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly. Do not be conceited. 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil; consider what is good before all people. 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people. 12:19 Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 12:20 Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Key Word: Love is not just a feeling; it’s also a sacrificial action. Romans 12:9-21 answers the question, "What are some practical, everyday ways in which God expects us to exhibit love in our relationships?" Love is more than a feeling; it’s also a sacrifice of actions. And in the spirit of Romans 12:1,2, I want you to think of these actions as a “sacrifice” or “a living sacrifice.”
OUTLINE
Love and Sacrifice in Christian Relationships (9-13)
Love is sincere and honest with the truth. (9)
Exposition: Verse 9 reads, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." We are to hate hypocrisy and counterfeit love. But what is the good? It’s defined in the next 11 verses.
Love gives affectionate preference to other believers. (10)
Exposition: Remember, we are talking about the family of God here. Verse 10 reads, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices our preferences for the preferences of another.
Love relishes Christian service. (11)
Exposition: I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices time and energy in service, despite the setbacks. Verse 11 continues: "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Paul argues that love issues forth in caring service.
Love responds positively and patiently to trials. (12)
Exposition: I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices the right to a bad attitude. Verse 12 reads, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Love practices generosity and hospitality. (13)
Exposition: Paul wrote: 12:13 Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality. I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices resources to meet needs. I love the quote that says: “You are not necessarily called to do something great; you are called to do small things with great love.”
Transition: Now, comes the attention shift. Next Paul turns to the issue of loving difficult people, as he tells us about…
Love and Sacrifice in Non-Christian Relationships (14)
Love reacts positively to persecution. (14)
Exposition: I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices the liberty of saying what you want to say according to the old you. Verse 14 exhorts us, "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Jesus said to “Love your enemies and bless them (Matt.5:44; Luke 6:27-28).” Love is a miracle; it’s not natural. Revenge is natural – love is supernatural.
Love empathizes with a fellow-believer and especially an enemy. (15)
Exposition: I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices my agenda for someone else. Verse 15: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
Love shows special regard in relationships and for the down-and-out. (16)
Exposition: I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices status, prestige, and pride in order to achieve relational harmony. Verse 16 reads, "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
Love refuses to react in kind to evil. (17)
Exposition: I bring you back to the Romans 12:1,2 concept of sacrifice. Love sacrifices the opportunity to strike back. "Do not repay anyone evil for evil." 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people. Paul is not arguing against holding someone accountable for his or her action. Love does this. However, love does not have a “get-back” spirit. Even though we are subject to the same abuses and insults as the rest of society, we are not free to respond in the manner common to society. That means that when you hear that someone has bad-mouthed you, you don’t return the favor. That means that if someone writes you a nasty letter, you don’t take out your poison pen and whip one back at them. Break the cycle and pattern of evil with good. Love offers reconciliation and forgiveness.
Love rejects all motives of revenge. (19-21)
Exposition: "Do not take revenge, my friends," the text tells us. 12:19 Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 12:20 Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. The foremost trait of human nature is self-defense. It’s our instinct to defend ourselves against the evil intentions of others and we should. But there’s a difference between self-defense and revenge, and revenge is God’s prerogative. The Scripture exhorts us, "leave room for God’s wrath" and to instead occupy ourselves with service directed toward our enemy. When everything in life moves toward the day when we can get even, we’ve lost perspective. It’s easy to lose perspective in life and be driven by hate and revenge, especially when others are just down right cruel and inhumane.
Illustration: Nicholas Kristof’s column in the New York Times opens in a remote region of China, where police are interrogating a woman named Ma Yuquin. Their efforts are unsuccessful. As Kristof relates, "She never broke when she was tortured with beatings and electrical shocks. Even when she was close to death, she refused to disclose the names of members of her congregation or sign a statement renouncing her Christian faith."
The physical torture almost killed her. But the mental torture was even worse. Throughout her ordeal, Ma Yuquin could hear the sounds of her son being tortured in the next room. Each could hear the screams of the other—additional incentives to betray their friends and their faith. Recalling this, Ma Yuquin began to sob. "They wanted me to hear [my son’s] cries," she said. "It broke my heart."
As Kristof relates, this kind of treatment is common in China. Citizens whose only crime is worshipping God are burned by cigarettes and beaten with clubs.
But Chuck Colson notes what’s happening in China as a result of their faithfulness despite the intense persecution: Tens of millions of Chinese now embrace Christ as the Church spreads by the blood of the martyrs. Martyr means witness, and, by suffering, martyrs bear witness that the Gospel is true. We can, and sometimes do, ignore this fact in good times. But when our faith is threatened, when we’re forced to make the choice, the truth becomes clear and powerful. It empowers the ordinary and the innocent to suffer and even die with confidence.
Our faithful Chinese brethren live out the words of Jesus, who told us not to fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. As Ma Yuquin notes, China’s leaders fear foreign pressure. True. But what they fear more than anything is Christianity itself—a faith so powerful that people will suffer torture and death rather than betray their Lord and will love and care for their persecutors and welcome them to the new community if they ever have a change of heart.
Observation: What comes to mind is the story of Jonah. Like Jonah, we’re afraid God will in His grace reach out to that person that we have come to hate and despise in love and mercy. God is slow to anger, wanting the wrongdoer to have a change of heart so He can forgive him. (In fact, we each ought to be very grateful that the vengeance of God is not immediate--for our own sakes). Yet in His own time and in His own way God will deal with the wicked. That is not a responsibility He has delegated to us. He alone can do vengeance without injury to innocent parties. But you say, "What do you expect me to do? Somebody wrongs me terribly. Do you expect me just to do nothing? Oh no. There is something you can do--you can be kind to them and love them. In fact, in so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head." (Verse 20).
Clarification: The phrase "you will heap burning coals on his head," is offered as the motivation for the kindness shown to an enemy, so I think it is very important that we understand the meaning of this statement. Some have traditionally seen it as simply meaning "you will burn him." If you’ve got an enemy and you really want to see him burn, be extra nice to him--he won’t be able to stand it! Now that’s hardly in the spirit of this passage. Better is the interpretation, which takes the heaping of the coals as a way of meeting his or her needs. Some feel that this phrase refers to the ancient way of lighting fires. They did not have matches in those days, so if your neighbor’s fire went out he would have to come to your house to see if he could borrow some coals to light his fire. Now, if he were a good neighbor, you would readily fill the jar he carried on his head with live coals, and make sure that none of the red-hot coals missed the jar on his head. This became a picture of an ample generous response to a neighbor’s need. But what if the neighbor were an enemy? Do you turn him away? Do you invite them in and accidentally miss the jar with a few coals? You could choose to let him and his family suffer in the cold, but God’s way was to heap coals on his head anyway, and perhaps such a response would end up changing him from an enemy to a friend. The kind gesture was meant to heal, not to hurt, to win, not to alienate, to attract, not to repel. Verse 21: "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." I would assume that being overcome with evil means allowing evil to determine our responses and our reactions. Instead we should make every effort to demonstrate that love can get victory over evil, if pursued diligently.
Quotation: Lincoln was asked why he was pardoning Southerners at the end of the Civil War: "Mr. President, don’t you want to destroy your enemies?" Lincoln replied: "Is that not what I do when I make them my friends?"
Illustration: Former Boston Red Sox third baseman Wade Boggs used to hate going to Yankee Stadium. Not because of the Yankees--they never gave him that much trouble--but because of a fan. That’s right: one fan. The guy had a box seat close to the field and when the Red Sox were in town he would torment Boggs by shouting obscenities and insults. It’s hard to imagine one fan getting under a player’s skin, but apparently this guy had the recipe.
One day before the game, as Boggs was warming up, the "fan" began his typical routine, yelling "Boggs, you stink" and variations on that theme. Boggs decided he’d had enough. He walked directly over to the man, who was sitting in the stands with his friends, and said, "Hey fella, are you the guy who’s always yelling at me?" The man said, "Yeah, it’s me. What are you going to do about it?"
Wade took a new baseball out of his pocket, autographed it, tossed it to the man, and went back to the field to continue his pre-game routine. Do you know what happened? The man never yelled at Boggs again; in fact, he became one of Wades’ biggest fans at Yankee Stadium.
Other players have been known to deal with antagonistic fans by returning obscenities, or spitting on them, or even, on occasion, punching them in the nose. Boggs dealt with his tormentor by doing good to him. And in this particular life-instance, he handled things in a Biblical manner and saw the immediate results.
Application: You may find yourself in Wade’s shoes someday. For no discernable reason, someone may decide not to like you. Maybe it’s something you did, maybe it’s something you didn’t do, maybe it’s something you can’t help--but suddenly you find yourself in hostile territory. Our natural inclination is to get even, but there is a better way to handle the situation. As Christians, we are to do good and not evil to those who have repeatedly hurt us.
Quotation: 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good [sacrificial love]. Evil can overcome us when we allow the pressure put on us by a hostile world to force us into attitudes and actions that are inconsistent with the transformed character of sacrificial love.
CONCLUSION
Summarization: Paul wants us to be engaged from the heart with the people around us, to be deeply committed to them, to care what goes on with them, to be able to walk in their shoes and look at life from their perspective, to have their burdens matter to us as much as ours, to be drawn out of ourselves, to weep and mourn and rejoice with our fellow believer.
Question: Allow me to ask you a question: Which kind of love characterizes your relationships? When you think about your husband or wife, your kids or parents, your friends or other family members ... is your relationship characterized by "whatever comes naturally" and the emotion you happen to feel at the time? Or, is your love the sacrificial, protecting, trusting, hoping, persevering kind ... the courageous, reconciling, committed-without-conditions kind of love?
Applications:
1. Decide to settle for nothing less.
Draw a line in the sand today – “I will no longer insult the definition of love by confusing it with just a feeling; it is a series of sacrificial acts.”
2. Understand that love is a "God-thing."
As much as you may want the ability to love boldly, I’m convinced from my own personal experience that you can’t do it on your own.
The Bible says that “the fruit of the Spirit is love (Galatians 5:22NIV)” and that “God himself is teaching you to love one another. (1 Thessalonians 4:9bTLB).”
One of the great benefits of a relationship with God is that His love begins to flow through your soul and as you open your heart to his prompting, your ability to love increases. So, if you are looking to develop bold love, work on your relationship with God before working on other relationships, because He’s source of the ability to love.
3. Don’t quit when you fail at loving.
Love is not natural. It’s something we have to learn and that learning doesn’t happen overnight. When you fail, just recommit yourself to settle for nothing less and give God permission to continue to mold your heart.
