Marriage By: Brian A. Yeager
Introduction:
A. Marriage is ordained [established] by God:
1. Genesis 2:18-25
2. I Corinthians 7:1-2
B. Marriage is a good thing (Proverbs 18:22).
1. Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable [as of great price, precious; held in honour, esteemed, especially dear] in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
a. The Bed [marriage bed] is undefiled [free from that by which the nature of a thing is deformed and debased, or its force and vigour impaired].
b. God authorizes that which is natural (Romans 1:24-27) in the marriage bed, which would be sinful to occur between two unmarried persons and would be called adultery.
2. I Corinthians 7:3 “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.”
a. NKJV says: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”
b. ASV 1901 says: “Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.”
D. Marriage is a covenant [binding agreement] for life (I Corinthians 7:39).
I. Who Are the Eligible Candidates For a Lawful Marriage?
A. An eligible man and woman:
1. A man and a woman not bound to another (Romans 7:1-3).
2. A man and woman who leave their families to start their own, not their ex’s to meet another (Ephesians 5:31).
3. If previously married the person seeking to enter into a second marriage would have to have been the one who “put away” their spouse for the cause of fornication, as this is the ONLY exception to the one man / one woman for life law that Christ put forth:
a. Matthew 5:32-33
b. Matthew 19:3-9
c. Every man is to have his OWN WIFE not someone else’s wife (I Corinthians 7:2).
4. A husband and a wife who have severed their marriage relationship must remain UNMARRIED or reconcile (I Corinthians 7:10-11).
a. There are those who argue what is known as the “mental divorce position” that constitutes the “waiting game”, in which the above scripture destroys that position. God does not approve of unlawful divorces, but he recognizes them (Romans 7:3).
b. Those who teach the mental divorce doctrine need to consider their application in the realm of salvation. EX: Mark 16:15-16 teaches: (believe – baptized – salvation). The Baptist change that to: (believe – salvation – baptized). Jesus said on the subject of divorce and remarriage Matthew 19:9: (fornication – divorce – remarriage). Mental divorce advocates say: (civil divorce – fornication – mental divorce). Application shows how absurd that position is in ALL CASES!!! If one can mentally divorce they can mentally marry, mentally be baptized, mentally commit murder, etc…
c. If "Mental Putting Away" were a valid arguement then what about the case of Joseph and Mary (Matthew 1:18-25).
B. Some argue God’s law of marriage and divorce only applies to Christians. However, the Bible uses the word “whosoever” in describing obedience (II John 9 and James 2:10). Notice also John 12:48, did Christ specify Christians only? NO!
1. Sin is transgression of the Law of Christ (I John 3:4).
2. Accountable men and women must repent of sin [transgression of the law of Christ] prior to conversion (Acts 3:19 and Acts 2:38).
a. Repentance means to change, not remain in a current sinful situation (Matthew 3:8 and Acts 26:20).
3. The logical conclusion of the above presented truth is this:
a. If alien sinners were not accountable to the law of Christ they would not have to repent and be converted.
b. One would be foolish to become a Christian as they would leave the life of freedom from law to one of bondage under the law.
4. Jesus sure bound the marriage law on those outside of the law (John 4:6-19).
5. John the Baptist did as well (Matthew 14:1-4).
C. The only authorized marriage is a heterosexual marriage, not homosexual marriage:
1. Leviticus 18:22-23
2. Leviticus 20:13
3. II Peter 2:6 / Cf. Genesis 18-19
II. Roles in the Marriage
A. The role of the man in the marriage:
1. The spiritual leader (I Corinthians 11:3).
a. The man being the spiritual leader is incorporated in the qualifications of an elder (I Timothy 3:5).
b. Notice the example of Noah and how his family was saved by his good leadership (Genesis 7:5;7 and I Peter 3:20).
c. Notice what Joshua was able to say, and men ask yourselves if you are leading your home enough to make this statement, or would you have to ask permission from the to even make this statement (Joshua 24:15)?
2. Men need to provide for their families (I Timothy 5:8).
a. Providing for your family does not remove the responsibilities of being the spiritual leader, loving your wife, and being a father to your children. Do not work so much that you forsake your more important duty of getting your family to Heaven!!
3. Husbands need to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25;28-29).
B. The role of the woman:
1. To guide the home (I Timothy 5:14).
2. To be submissive [to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject, put in subjection, to subject one’s self, obey] to their husbands, not standing in the way of them carrying out their duties:
a. Ephesians 5:22
b. Ephesians 5:24
c. Colossians 3:18
3. God had an intended for woman to be a “help meet” for the man (Genesis 2:18-25).
a. Society has taken woman from Adam’s rib to women’s lib.
4. Notice the great qualities of a Godly woman from I Peter 3:1-7:
a. Being in subjection: Verses 1-2: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”
First section deals with subjection as we earlier in the lesson discussed. The second part of these verses shows us that an example a woman can be through her conversation that is observed by her husband as verse 2 points out. They will act coupled with fear which points to their respect for God in how the handle themselves. This can help convert a husband who as of yet has not obeyed God (Matthew 5:14-16, Ephesians 5:8, and Philippians 2:15).
b. Verses 3-4: “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
These two passages point us towards thinking about the inward woman, not the appearance she can have on the outside. A woman is to be modest (I Timothy 2:9-10). The stress is on the woman being an ornament (an accessory or something that lends to grace a beauty) of a meek (mild) and quiet spirit (soul). God looks at us not in the ways that man does (I Samuel 16:7).
c. Verses 5-6 “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord [Genesis 18:12] : whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Holy women are examples in that they are in subjection to their husbands. Sarah is given as an example. We should note that at any time we are not to obey man over God (Acts 5:29 and I Corinthians 11:3).
d. Verse 7: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Husbands are to love the wife even as Christ loved the church as discussed earlier in this lesson (Ephesians 5:25-29). We are to honor our wives. The wife being the weaker vessel surely does not point to her spiritual salvation seeing that this verse clearly ends pointing man and woman as joint heirs. They are not less in the realm of salvation for all spiritual blessings are passed equally (Galatians 3:26-28). As a matter of a fact the woman is “as” the weaker vessel, she is not the weaker vessel. That means men should treat their wives like they are precious and be careful in the way that they treat their wives. Sort of like a rugged plate compared to a shinny new plate. We treat that old plastic rugged plate like it has no value, but the shiny new plate we are careful to put in it’s proper place, keep it nice and clean, etc.
III. The Results of a Good or Bad Marriage
A. The result of a solid marriage will be:
1. A fulfilling life upon this earth.
2. Both the husband and wife fulfill their sexual obligation to each other. This is a beautiful thing God has provided for married couples that the world has perverted.
3. A family who will be lead by the husband and guided by the wife.
4. Children who realize obedience, instead of these broken homes and divided families the produce today’s drug dealers, thieves, murders, etc.
a. Ephesians 6:1-3
b. Proverbs 13:24
B. The result of a bad marriage is typically a divorce.
1. Notice God’s thoughts on divorce (Malachi 2:14-16).
Conclusion:
A. Marriage is a wonderful gift from God.
B. The world defies God in every way (I John 2:15-17), so do not let the world be our example of what marriage is.
C. Let’s keep our marriages secure in the Lord that one mate may never say to the other what Job’s wife said to him: (Job 2:9) “Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.”
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