“I’m worried about my kids.”
Worry just seems to be a natural part of parenthood. How many Moms have said, “It’s a mother’s job to worry about her kids”?
As easy as it is to worry about your kids and as quick as we are to excuse our worry as being a natural part of parenthood, we need to name worry for what it is this morning: a sin. There is no indication anywhere in Scripture that our worry is excusable. On the other hand, there is a multitude of evidence that our excusing our worry and allowing it to maintain its rule in our lives is keeping us from enjoying something far better - something God longs to bring into our lives.
Let’s dig into this problem and see what the Bible has to say. . .
TWO IMPORTANT STARTING POINTS:
So that we’re all on the same page, let me clarify a couple of things:
1. There is a difference between concern and worry.
- Concern is a good thing. When we see someone we love hurting, we should be concerned. When we face a life-threatening illness, we should be concerned. Concern comes as we acknowledge, “Yes, this is something worthy of my heart’s attention.”
- Concern should naturally lead to action on our part - doing something in response to the problem. We move from concern to worry when we begin to simply dwell on the problem for the sake of dwelling on the problem. It leads to no action, no resolution, no improvement; rather, it leads to uneasiness, dread, and apprehension.
- This leads us to our definition of worry. . .
2. Worry is stewing without doing.
- This definition (taken from Rick Warren) succinctly states what we’ve been talking about. We worry when we obsess on the problem without doing anything about the problem. For whatever reason, we like to take the problem out and examine it again and consider all the bad things that could happen because of that situation.
- How should we respond when we begin to worry? The Scripture points us to a better way, so let’s look at a few of the key passages. . .
FIVE QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN WE’RE WORRYING ABOUT OUR KIDS:
1. Why do I like to look at my problem through a magnifying glass?
- Numbers 13:17-33.
- I want you to notice the differences between vv. 27-28 and vv. 32-33. Notice how quickly the problem has grown enormously in size. Notice how quickly they’ve moved from considering how big God is to focusing on how big their problem is.
- Worriers often like to boast that they’re “realistic” thinkers. Because they’re focusing on all the possible bad outcomes, they like to paint themselves as being in touch with the real situation. Let’s be very clear this morning: worriers are not “realistic” thinkers; worriers are negative
thinkers. They focus on the negative aspects of the problem to the exclusion of the positive
possibilities and, most importantly, the resources of God.
- Gary Oliver states, “Worry magnifies our problems and then distorts our perspective so we can’t think logically or clearly about them.”
- If you’re a worrier, you need to ask yourself this morning why you so enjoy looking at your problem under a magnifying glass, to the exclusion of what God may be up to.
2. Why am I treating my Heavenly Father like a deadbeat dad?
- Matthew 6:28-30.
- This great passage reminds us of the promise of care that our Heavenly Father has made to us.
- We’ve all seen and been appalled by fathers who refused to pay child support that they could afford, but instead chose to let their children live in poverty. “How could a Dad be so heartless toward his children?” we ask.
- Yet as we worry we are saying we think the same way about our Heavenly Dad. We’re saying that we don’t think we can entrust the situation to Him. We’re saying that we don’t think we can place the problem in His hands. We’re saying that we’re not so sure that He’ll come through for us. We’re saying we trust ourselves more than we trust Him. We’re saying we think He might well act like a deadbeat dad and leave us high and dry.
- If you’re going to be honest when you worry, you ought to say to God, “Father, to be straight with you, I’m going to hold onto this problem myself because I don’t trust You with it.” Because that’s exactly what you’re actions say you think about God.
3. Why do I believe that worrying is a constructive parenting skill?
- Matthew 6:27.
- Now I know what some of you all were thinking during point #2. “It’s all well and good, Pastor, for you to talk about trusting God, but let’s face it: sometimes God doesn’t answer my prayers the way I think He should. I have to worry for those situations!”
- This verse reminds us that worrying about something changes nothing (except moving our hearts further from God).
- It’s kind of like someone saying, “My son Bill has got that important college entrance exam today. I’ve got to get the kitchen floor mopped before he gets there!” A friend might respond, “What difference is you mopping the floor going to make on that test?” “Well, none, but it’ll make me feel better!” That’s just about what we’re doing when we worry: we’re not changing anything about the situation, but in a sick sort of way it makes us feel better.
- Some think that being a good mother means being a worrier. But here we learn clearly that worrying is not a constructive parenting skill.
4. Why do I say, “Why pray when you could worry?” when I could say, “Why worry when you could pray?”
- Philippians 4:6.
- This verse gives us God’s antidote to worry: “Don’t worry - talk to Me.”
- Notice the verse begins, “Be anxious for nothing.” How much of our worry is justifiable before God? None of it.
- God gives us the clear alternative to “stewing without doing.” He invites us to bring our concerns and apprehensions to Him.
- Remember earlier when we noted that concern involved taking action, whereas worry just continually turned in on itself. Here we see the way we can do something constructive and powerful even in the face of situation where there is no immediately obvious solution. We can pray. . . and in so doing unleash the power of heaven. How much better and more constructive is that than worrying and solving nothing?
5. What does it say about me that I actively choose anxiety over peace?
- Philippians 4:7.
- Here’s the good news. This sermon is not just about how bad worry is - it’s about something wonderful that God is offering us. Worry is not just ineffective, it keeps us from experiencing a peace that passes all understanding. That’s what God is willing and eager to bring into our hearts.
- So you need to ask yourself this morning: why do I prefer worry? It doesn’t solve anything. It
worsens my relationship with my Father. It makes me a negative person. It keeps me from enjoying God’s peace.
- There’s an old story of a widow who was mad at God over the loss of her husband. Being eccentric, she began to live off the generosity of others. She would fill her pockets with sandwiches at church dinners. Her house was a disaster area as she eventually lived only in the kitchen. After she died, people came to clean out her house and discovered she had over
$150,000 in cash, antiques, and property. What a tragedy: all that time she had lived like a beggar when she didn’t have to.
- It’s an even greater tragedy to think of all the Christians who are living like spiritual beggars -
living poor in worry and anxiety - when they don’t have to. This morning, call your worry by its
rightful name - “sin” - and resolve to quit living like a beggar.
