This Crazy Little Thing Called Love
The Essence of True Love
I. Introduction
There was a 15 year old boy, named Carl. Every night Carl would come to the supper table ready to chow down, and as usual his hands were dirty and his hair was all messed up. He was all sweaty and nasty. And as usual, his mom says, “Carl, you can’t eat until you’ve washed your hands, fixed your hair and cleaned up a bit.” And that’s the routine, every night, it never fails.
But then one night, Carl’s mom is setting the table and putting out the fried chicken and she notices a drastic change. Carl comes in with clean hands, a styling hairdo, wearing an Old Navy sweater and khakis instead of his dingy T-shirt and basketball shorts, and he’s even wearing cologne.
Before the next meal, the same thing happens. Carl comes in all spiffed up, smelling good, and this time he even shaved the peach fuzz off of his face. Carl’s mom knows something’s going down. What’s the deal? Carl is in love. He’s found a girl.
Love is a very peculiar thing. It’s been estimated that there are nearly five million words in the English language. However, there is only one word in our language for love. This word is supposed to span the entire spectrum. This one word is supposed to give description to our feelings about our baby sister and the way we feel about our favorite food. The same word that’s used to say what you think about McDonald’s french fries is the same word that we use to say what God thinks about us. Something is very wrong with this picture. I can say, “I love basketball,” and I can say, “I love Kristen.” But do I love basketball the same way that I love Kristen?
In other languages, they may have as many as seven words for our one word love. Bible writers used four different Greek words for love, and tonight we’re going to talk about this crazy little thing called love.
II. The Four Loves
Let’s look at the four words for love used in the Bible, and from our skit tonight, you should have a little bit of an understanding of the differences in these types of love.
A. Eros- sexual love; physical love; married love; mutual desire between a man and a woman
B. Storge- family love
C. Phileo- the love of friendship, the affection we feel for people in friendly relationships
D. Agape- divine love
I really want to focus on the Greek word agape tonight. We’ve talked about family relationships- storge, we’ve covered relationships with friends-phileo, I’m not going to cover sexual relationships this month, eros, because frankly, there’s only one thing to be said about it…wait until you’re married. So, tonight, we’re going to look specifically at divine love, and discover the essence of TRUE love.
III. Divine Love
Before Jesus was crucified, Peter denied Jesus three times, so after Jesus had risen from the dead, Jesus asked Peter to confess his love for Him three times. The first time Jesus asked, “Peter, do you love me?” He used a new word for love: agape. He was talking about a particular non-emotional type of love that was by choice, by an act of the will- Peter didn’t understand what he meant. So he answered, “Yes, Lord, I have a phileo for you.” But that’s not what Jesus was asking. The word agape was a word that didn’t even exist. It’s not in secular writings, in philosophy, Aristotle didn’t write about it, Hippocrates didn’t know what it was, it wasn’t in any Greek literature. The word agape was created to describe the concept of divine love. Everybody during Jesus’ time knew that eros meant married love, that storge meant family love, and phileo meant friendly love. But they had no idea about the agape kind of love. Peter said he had phileo for Jesus because that was all he had. He only had the feeling, and he couldn’t understand agape. There needed to be a word in Jesus’ day to describe the totally unselfish love of God toward His people. Agape was that word. God’s agape love gives and gives, then gives some more, never asking for anything in return. Eros doesn’t give and give without seeking something for itself. Storge doesn’t give and give, because it knows that it will be benefited by its family. Phileo doesn’t just give without asking for something in return, a friend is asking for friendship. There was no word, until agape, that described exactly what we see in the character of God, someone that gives without ulterior motives, without seeking something in return. Agape is love that is not based on emotions or feelings. It is actually a love by choice. Agape gives us the ability to love the unlovely.
Agape love doesn’t change. It’s always the same. There’s nothing you can do to make God love you more. There’s nothing you can do to make God love you less. He loves you just the way you are. Agape is not based on performance. Agape love is unconditional.
If only we would walk in that same agape love that God expresses. Think about how that would affect the way our world operates. Nobody would ever be fired from a job. The boss would love the employee no matter what kind of job he did. The employee would love his boss so he would do better work. Everybody wins.
IV. Agape Plus
Let’s do a little experiment here. What if we got in our scientific laboratories and mixed up a few potions? Our 3 base liquids are eros, storge, and phileo. We’ve got them in our viles over here. We know the essence of each. Our other ingredient is agape. Let’s add a drop of agape to each of our base liquids. What would we come up with? Ok, liquid number one…eros. Eros + agape = erosagape. What does that look like? Married unconditional love. Agape combined with eros will make a marriage relationship that is heaven on earth. The husband will never cause his wife to endure physical or verbal abuse. He will never be critical of her. Because he loves her with agape, he will never cause her harm. The husband and wife are looking out for each other’s best interests.
What about mixture number 2 – Storgeagape? What does it look like? When agape gets into the family, it says, “This family is not to be maneuvered, manipulated, hurt or torn apart.” Your parents won’t need to ground you because you will be obedient. They’ll protect you and not make you spend every night cooking for yourself. Brothers and sisters wouldn’t argue and beat the stuffing out of each other. Add a little agape to the mixture and the dysfunctional family will become the ideal family.
What about potion number 3- phileoagape? You won’t have fair-weather friends. Agape and phileo form a tie that will hold a friendship together no matter what happens. You’ll have true friends that stick with you through thick and thin.
Add agape to these different types of love and you get love that gives and gives and gives. But, Pastor Nate, you said agape was divine love, that means it’s God’s love, not people love. Agape is divine love, but the truth is, you CAN love like that.
V. You Can Love Them Like That
Romans 5:5 “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
How about that? The Holy Spirit has poured out the love of God in your heart. The Holy Spirit has poured out agape in your heart. That means that you have the ability to love like God. Why don’t I?
VI. The 7:47 Principle
One reason that you may be low on love is what Max Lucado refers to as the 7:47 principle. Let me tell you a story. Read excerpt from Max Lucado’s A Love Worth Giving, pp. 3-6.
1 John 4:19 “We love, because He first loved us.”
The Message “First we were loved, now we love.”
Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Agape is within us because the Holy Spirit’s poured it out in us. We have the agape, we just have to let it out. How do I let it out? Let’s look at some characteristics of this agape love and maybe you’ll see exactly how you can let it out.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.”
Let it out.
Here’s love.
When dinner takes longer than expected, you wait, without saying, “Hurry up, you’re too slow, I’m about to wither away in here.”
When you wake up in the morning, you don’t just say, “Good morning,” you make the coffee for the rest of the house.
When you see somebody with better toys than you, you don’t get enraged to the point of hitting them in the head and taking their toys.
When you get the highest grade in the class, or the MVP award for the basketball team, you don’t scream “I’m the best, look at me,” at the top of your lungs. You don’t even get a big head because you did so well.
When you’re low on sweet tea at Chili’s, you don’t hurl insults at the waitress, and say, “What does it take to get some tea around here? And what about my cheese sticks? Your tip’s going downhill, darling.”
When your basket of chicken wings is down to the last one, you offer it to the rest of your party before indulging yourself.
When someone accidentally steps on your toe in the lunch line, you don’t push them with all your might and then give them a black eye.
When your brother doesn’t treat you as good as he should, you don’t mark it down in your handheld notebook on the page of Brother’s Screw-ups.
When you’re on a date, you don’t persuade your partner to do something wrong, but you have fun doing the right things.
When you’re talking to your family, you don’t tell them, “I’ll be here for supper and showers, TV and Playstation time, but when it’s time to clean, I’m outta here. And when you guys argue, I’m hitting the streets.” No, you say, “I’ll be here for the good times, the working times, and the tough times. I’ll stick it out through EVERYthing.”
When your best friend is being picked on, you stand up to the bully.
When your grandma is in the hospital for treatment, you give her a card that promises hope.
You have a friend, nothing is going her way, and it seems all hope is lost, but she knows that you’re always going to be there, and that your love for her will never die.
Christ is in you, therefore his love is in you. Let’s read this passage again, this time, read it aloud and put your name in the blank.
Christ in ________ is patient, Christ in ______ is kind. Christ in ________ does not envy, Christ in ________ does not boast, Christ in ________ is not proud. Christ in ________ is not rude, Christ in ________ is not self-seeking, Christ in ________ is not easily angered, Christ in ________ keeps no record of wrongs, Christ in ________ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Christ in ________ always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Christ in ________ never fails.
Let’s pray.
