Forgiveness is Supposed to be Shared
Some things are supposed to be shared because when they are everyone benefits. One of the most important things that we all need is forgiveness – yet so many will eagerly accept it while they grudgingly grant it. In Matthew 18 Jesus tells a story which lays out the standard for us all.
Matthew 18:23-35 (NCV)
23 “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who decided to collect the money his servants owed him. 24 When the king began to collect his money, a servant who owed him several million dollars was brought to him. 25 But the servant did not have enough money to pay his master, the king. So the master ordered that everything the servant owned should be sold, even the servant’s wife and children. Then the money would be used to pay the king what the servant owed.
26 “But the servant fell on his knees and begged, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything I owe.’ 27 The master felt sorry for his servant and told him he did not have to pay it back. Then he let the servant go free.
28 “Later, that same servant found another servant who owed him a few dollars. The servant grabbed him around the neck and said, ‘Pay me the money you owe me!’
29 “The other servant fell on his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything I owe.’
30 “But the first servant refused to be patient. He threw the other servant into prison until he could pay everything he owed. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were very sorry. So they went and told their master all that had happened.
32 “Then the master called his servant in and said, ‘You evil servant! Because you begged me to forget what you owed, I told you that you did not have to pay anything. 33 You should have showed mercy to that other servant, just as I showed mercy to you.’ 34 The master was very angry and put the servant in prison to be punished until he could pay everything he owed.
35 “This king did what my heavenly Father will do to you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiveness grants immunity and the releases all claims
I received a letter from our attorney about the land on Willoughby Road this week on Wednesday.
In the letter was a sheaf of papers about our lawsuit against Alaiedon Township. We went to court for help because the township refused to give us due process in their denial of a special use permit for a church building. Now here we are, almost 2 years later, with a letter asking us to agree to “release, acquit, forever discharge and covenant to hold harmless” the Alaiedon Township Board for their actions against the Meridian Christian Church.
We are letting go...
We’re going to sell the land and let it go. Oh, their insurance company is paying us $10,000.00 for signing but we still stand to lose money by the time everything is done. Especially when you consider the interest paid on the loan, the costs of the survey, the test borings, drawings, and attorney’s fee’s.
But it is much more than just money. The Land Team has worked hard over 3 years to look at over 25 pieces of land and consider many others. When we talked to the Reed’s we prayed over the land with them. We prayed at great length and we looked to the Lord repeatedly.
Then we moved forward and we did it by the numbers. We didn’t do everything right – but we certainly tried to. We hired excellent consultants and followed their advice, but here we are today, without a permit to use these 20 acres of earth for ministry and worship. I can only conclude that God is going to reveal his glory in us by doing something bigger and greater than we can possibly imagine.
Still, I must be very honest with you. This is not an easy thing for me to do. What the township board did to us was not fair and was not right. It would not be difficult to allow anger to rule our response… for ourselves and for Mike and Mary Cay Reed. But we are still going to let it go… In the next month it will go on the market. (Let us know if you are interested, or if you know someone who might be interested!)
Forgiveness grants immunity and releases all claims
This message is about a lot more than how to move on as a church when things go wrong. It’s about you forgiving the people who have hurt you.
Forgiveness is a “letting go” of all hurts, claims, and injury. This Sunday the message is about a lot more than moving on as a church. It’s about you and the need to forgive the people in your life who have hurt you. It’s about how forgiveness is for you and how it is meant to be shared.
One of the most powerful moments of forgiveness I have witnessed was in ther RCA dome in Indianapolis during a Promise-Keepers meeting. 65,000 men were called upon by the speaker to forgiven one another.
Literally hundreds of guys bowed their heads together and then wept openly as they hugged each other - fathers with sons; pastors with laymen; and brother with brother. It was amazing to see it happening in the same stands that a day before had been filled with tough fanatical spectators of a football team.
It is important that you and I learn to forgive those who hurt us because forgiveness releases both the debtor and the damaged
We’ve all played Monopoly
We play until we win or go bankrupt. You roll the dice and you move your shoe or car around the board till you land on a property or an open space and then you start the struggle. Counting your money, calculate your chances of getting by Boardwalk and Park Place without landing and deciding whether you should buy a house. Sometimes you even get the point where you hope to go to jail so that you can get away from the pressures of the rent on those spaces you don’t own. And then, you go bankrupt when you owe more money in rent than you have in your hand or by mortgaging your properties.
That bankruptcy is painful but there is a release… You are done. It is finished and you don’t have to carry the burden of trying to make a hopeless situation work.
Now you can play again. That’s how bankruptcy works. It’s also how forgiveness works.
You may be financially ok but you are a relational debtor. You and I are bankrupt.
I am a debtor to my world; my country; my state; and my community. I am a greater debtor to my church; my family; my children and my wife. The more important the relationship – the greater is my debt. In fact, my debt to my God is so great that I am completely bankrupt when I come into His presence.
God has forgiven me and I am released from the struggle to repay a debt that is far beyond my ability. It is not a matter of reorganizing the debt for later repayment – it is release.
Forgiveness is the only option
The debt is too great.
It cannot be repaid. It gets that way financially sometimes but it gets that way with people much more often. There is not one person in this room who has not experienced the devastation of betrayal from someone that you love or have loved.
There are husbands who have broken their vows – physically and emotionally. There are wives who have broken their vows in the same way. There are couples here who have simply and quietly grown cold over the years. There are fathers who have abandoned their children – Oh they live with them – but they are not there for them. There are mothers who have made it clear to their children that they are an interruption in their careers and live. There are kids who have lied to their parents and who are so self centered that they have abandoned their responsibilities in the family.
Before forgiveness is granted you have to keep score
Keeping score is a burden that wears you down with its weight. The pressure is always there. It fills the hours and consumes the days. The damaged person is paralyzed by the pain and is kept awake by the anger. It is a consuming acid that works, and works, and works on the inside until it eats away the lining of the stomach and the heart.
I watched a man accuse another in the courts. He dramatically pointed to the one who hurt him and demanded that he look at his daughter and acknowledge his sin against her.
His life is preoccupied with the sin. He sucks his life from his soul. His thoughts are always returning to the injury done him and his desire for retribution and vengence. There is no end to it…
A Vase is broken…
Does it matter whether its destruction is deliberate or accidental? It is still destroyed.
There is plenty of debt in this room to go around. If you think you can go back and make a wrong – right – you are wrong. It cannot be done. Can you glue a vase together that has been shattered? Is there a way to repair it so that the damage never happened?
Listen, It is impossible to make a relationship right once it has been wronged. The only possible course with any hope of reconciling or renewing the relationship is to forgive the person who hurt you and release the debt.
Forgiveness releases both the debtor and the damaged
Forgiveness creates an opportunity for a fresh start
It is a little like a toy boat in a stream when you let it go and eventually it drifts out of sight and out of mind.
Now, God can forgive and forget in one stroke. He already did. It happened on the cross.
We can forgive and forget – but it takes a little longer. God lives in eternity – we live in the “now” of our lives. We have to play it out hour by hour and day by day.
Forgiving sets up the potential for forgetting. It takes a little time and lot of work rebuilding a relationship and forgiveness is the prerequisite that is required as a foundation for reconciliation.
Forgiveness is a decision. Is not a feeling. Overcome the feelings and let it go…
That decision impacts your life now and forever. The measure we use will be used as the standard for our measurement. It would be wise to be slow to speak and generous with patience toward others rather than being quick to condemn and intolerant of their faults
Even with those who have hurt us the most.
A General once said – “I never forgive”. The chaplain in is division said, “I hope sir, that you never sin.”
