A woman was very unhappy in her marriage and went to court in order to get a divorce. At the hearing, the judge asked: “Do you have any grounds ” “Yes, we have two acres,” she said. “That’s not what I was asking,” the judge said with an edge to his voice. “I mean do you have a grudge ” The woman responded, “No, we couldn’t afford a garage; we have to park the car in front of the house.” Now the judge was really getting upset. “Does your husband beat you up ” he asked. She replied. “No, I always get up before he does.” At this point the judge was totally exasperated. Finally he said, “Just tell me why you want a divorce ” “Because,” she whined, “we just don’t seem to be able to communicate.”
The woman and the judge were obviously not communicating. Sometimes we don’t communicate with God, our divine Judge, very well either. We are not answering the questions God is asking. We are not giving him the information he needs to hear. What God wants to hear is an honest answer to a simple question.
This morning we will be talking about the spiritual discipline of confession. Several images come to our minds when we mention confession. Some see someone with a serious sin which is causing them a great deal of guilt and shame. “Those are the kind of people who need to confess,” we say to ourselves. We see people in confessional booths telling all the things they have done wrong to a priest. We think of someone weeping at the altar of a church. But we seldom think of confession as a normal part of a Christian’s life.
What is confession, and why does the Bible talk about it so much? The first thing I want to address today is: True confession is marked by honesty. God can forgive any sin, but he will not forgive us until there is honest confession. Confession is the doorway to God. Our sin does not keep us from God unless we are dishonest about it. If we try to hide it, make excuses for it, justify it or make light of it, God will not forgive our sin. At the root of our unwillingness to confess our sin is pride. We want to justify our sin and say that it was right after all. We become honest when we admit we were wrong.
In our culture, if you try to talk about confession, you might hear someone say: “Confess what?” In a culture that doesn’t believe anything should be called a sin, it is difficult to talk about the discipline of confession. I was reading the words of Jesus last week, where he said: “What comes out of a man is what makes him ‘unclean.’ For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean’” (Mark 7:20-23). I thought as I meditated on those words that we do not see these things as sins; these are the things we celebrate. We revel in these things. We love lewdness. TV shows like Are You Hot? are more than enough evidence of that. Greed is a way of life. Malice and slander toward others is a game we play. Sexual immorality has become a right. We have lost our moral bearings, are spiritually adrift, and are unaware of it. We have lost the meaning of sin, therefore confession has no meaning. A renewed sense of right and wrong, of sin and righteousness is necessary to save our culture.
The Greek word for confession is homologeo. It comes from the combination of two Greek words: Homo, meaning “same,” and logeo, meaning “to say.” The idea is that to confess is to say the “same thing.” We say the same thing that God does about our sin. We agree with God that we have sinned, and are in need of forgiveness and change. We don’t say something different than God does about our behavior, we agree that he is right and we confess our sin to him. We seek his forgiveness and the power to be different. This is important, because the Bible tells us, “If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives” (1 John 1:10). We think of guilt and shame as a bad thing, but look what the loss of shame has cost us. An old African proverb says, “Where there is no shame, there is no honor.” The loss of appropriate guilt and sense of rightness caused psychiatrist Dr. Karl Menninger to write a book asking the question, Whatever Became of Sin? In the book he writes: “If the concept of personal responsibility and answerability for ourselves and for others were to return to common acceptance, hope would return to the world with it.” He defines sin as, “a transgression of the law of God; disobedience of the divine will; moral failure. . . Sin has a defiant, or disloyal quality; someone is defiled or offended or hurt.” This is what the Bible has always claimed. The book of Proverbs states: “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). Concealed sin has a destructive force in our lives. We become dysfunctional and invite chaos into our existence.
The good news is that when we do confess our sin, we do not find rejection but acceptance from God. The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). The result of confession is not condemnation and judgment, but the assurance that we are forgiven and purified from our sin. We are not rejected by a stern god who will hold our sin against us; we are freed from a terrible burden. Secrecy is what gives sin its power over us. It is hiding our sin that enables guilt and shame to control us; exposing our sin brings freedom. Honesty is what brings healing to our souls.
Confession keeps us from brushing aside our sin as though it is unimportant. It keeps us honest by not blaming our parents, our surroundings, our situation or our circumstances. We begin to take responsibility for our own actions. It keeps us from living under the terrible burden of pretending to be someone we are not. It delivers us from veiled lies and hypocrisy. It keeps us from feeling superior to others. It helps us to face the truth about ourselves. But once we face the truth, we find forgiveness, freedom and unconditional love. God never leaves us in our shame; he lifts us out of it. Genuine confession releases us from self-condemnation.
Confession seems to be a need that we have. People are now being invited to confess their sins online. The Confessor (www.theconfessor.co.uk) is a web site that encourages people to examine their lives and confess their sins. The site encourages people to reflect on their lives and be honest about their sins. It displays promises from the Bible concerning confession, repentance, and forgiveness, then asks people to silently consider their sins or type them in spaces provided. No one but the person confessing is able to see the responses. In just two weeks this site has attracted 60,000 visitors worldwide, according to the Ecumenical News International.
The second thing we need to address is that: True confession is marked by sorrow. Real confession means that we regret what we have done. It is not that we are sorry we got caught, or that we regret the way things have turned out; we recognize that we have sinned against God, and offended and grieved him. Real sorrow fills our hearts. We understand that we have sinned against the one who has loved us most and has done the most for us. The Bible says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret” (2 Corinthians 7:10). There can be no real repentance without genuine sorrow. We have to understand how we have grieved the heart of God and hurt other people. Ultimately, even though we have sinned against others, our real sin is against God, our Creator. When David sinned, he said, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge” (Psalm 51:3-4).
Sin brings sorrow because it alienates us from God, from other people, and it leaves us broken within. We have rebelled against the God who loved us and broken our relationship with him. We have harmed other people and damaged our relationship with them. We have sinned against ourselves and it has left us broken inside. We need to confess in order to relieve the burden. Our tears wash away the guilt and shame of our behavior.
You remember the story of the prodigal son who rebelled against his father. The Bible says, “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:17-20). The point of the story is that when we come with sorrow for our sin, instead of a scolding, we experience the embrace of God.
The third point is: True confession is marked by change. Once we become honest with ourselves, others and God, once we have repented with godly sorrow, a change takes place in our hearts. We have a new freedom to live for God. We are no longer bound by our guilt and shame. We have a new determination to live for God with faithfulness and obedience. We don’t want to run away from God; we want to run to him. A new honesty and transparency takes over in our lives. We are no longer pretending; we are honest before God and others.
It is interesting that the early Methodists practiced public confession in their small groups called Bands. In the rules for the Societies it states, “The design of our meeting is, to obey that command of God, ‘Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed’ (James 5:16). To this end, we intend. . . to speak each of us in order, freely and plainly, the true state of our souls, with the faults we have committed in thought, word, or deed, and the temptations we have felt, since our last meeting.” It is unfortunate that we have lost that part of our history.
It is a good thing to have someone to whom we can confess our sins. It is even better to do it in a small group. Sometimes it may even be appropriate to do it in front of the whole church. What this does is keep us humble, and stops us from elevating ourselves above others. It helps us to know that others can understand the worst about us and still love us. It gives others the knowledge that they are not alone in the way they feel, the temptations they face or the things they have done.
Dallas Willard says, “It is said confession is good for the soul but bad for the reputation, and a bad reputation makes life more difficult in relation to those close to us, we all know. But closeness and confession force out evildoing. Nothing is more supportive of right behavior than open truth.” He goes on to say, “Confession alone makes deep fellowship possible, and the lack of it explains much of the superficial quality so commonly found in our church associations. What, though, makes confession bearable? Fellowship.”
There is something freeing about sharing with others our deepest weaknesses and failures. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “Our brother. . . has been given to help us. He hears the confession of our sins in Christ’s stead and he forgives our sins in Christ’s name. He keeps the secret of our confession as God keeps it. When I go to my brother to confess, I am going to God.”
When we are determined to seek the forgiveness of those we have wronged and make restitution, then we are on the path of a new obedience. If we have taken something, we return it. If we have spoken a lie, we correct it. If we have hurt or wronged someone, we do what is necessary to repair the relationship. The next step is that we receive words of reconciliation and forgiveness — words of absolution. When someone confesses some sin, we do not become shocked and say things like, “How could you do something like that?” We offer the assurance of our continued acceptance and the forgiveness of God. I was in a group recently when someone confessed sin that had been in their life. We assured that person of our love and spoke the words of Scripture to them, “If anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense — Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:1-2). The appropriate response to confession are words of absolution from the Scripture. We assure them of God’s forgiveness with God’s own words.
It was during World War II, and a young man was heading home on a train. He had joined the service to get away from home. His relationship with his parents had been broken because of his rebellion and the hurtful things he had done and said to them before he left. He didn’t know how he would be received when he returned to his little rural community where everyone knew him and what he had done. He had sent a letter to his parents saying, “I know how much I have hurt you and I am truly sorry. I will understand if you do not wish to see me. If it is okay for me to come home tie a piece of white cloth to the tree next to the train station. If it is not there I will just go on by.” The train was nearing the station when he noticed that there was not a white cloth on one of the trees, but white cloths tied to all the trees. The trees were covered in white, and his parents were waiting at the station to embrace him.
That is how God responds to our confession. He does not give grudging forgiveness, but one that is wild and full of desire. His heart is full of love and forgiveness. “So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).
Rodney J. Buchanan
February 16, 2003
Mulberry St. UMC
Mt. Vernon, OH
www.MulberryUMC.org
Rod.Buchanan@MulberryUMC.org
Experiencing the Freedom of
Confession
Questions for February 16, 2003
1. How does the idea of confessing your sin strike you emotionally?
2. Why do we need to have confession as a regular spiritual discipline in our lives?
3. Why is the idea of sin and confession so out of vogue in our culture?
4. Read 1 John 1:9. What is God’s response to our confession?
5. Read the story in Luke 19:9-14. Why does God reward honesty? What are the benefits?
6. Why is it important to be specific in our confessions?
7. What genuine emotion should accompany our confession? Why is this important?
8. Read James 5:16. Why are we so reluctant to do this? How could this benefit us if we practiced it?
9. Remorse means you are sorry you made an error. Repentance means to stop and turn around and go the opposite direction. What should we do as a result of a genuine confession?
10. Could the lack of genuine confession be detrimental to our spiritual and emotional health? How?
