FIRST DATE
Song of Solomon 1:7- 2:7
In our last study we found the Shulamite woman desiring to be with Solomon. She was also concerned about the fact that Solomon might be more attracted to one of the other “available” women.
In this study we find Solomon meeting the Shulamite woman and then having dinner with her. We will follow this date and see how the date goes. We also will find some helpful hints for dating and a very good “piece” of advice in the last verse of our text.
Setting Up The Date
Song of Solomon 1:7-10(NKJV)
(TO HER BELOVED)
7 Tell me, O you whom I love, Where you feed your flock, Where you make it rest at noon. For why should I be as one who veils herself By the flocks of your companions?
THE BELOVED
8 If you do not know, O fairest among women, Follow in the footsteps of the flock, And feed your little goats Beside the shepherds’ tents.
9 I have compared you, my love, To my filly among Pharaoh’s chariots.
10 Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, Your neck with chains of gold.
Song of Songs 1:7-10(Message)
Tell me where you’re working- I love you so much- Tell me where you’re tending your flocks, where you let them rest at noontime. Why should I be the one left out, outside the orbit of your tender care?
THE MAN
If you can’t find me, loveliest of all women, it’s all right. Stay with your flocks. Lead your lambs to good pasture. Stay with your shepherd neighbors.
You remind me of Pharaoh’s well-groomed and satiny mares. Pendant earrings line the elegance of your cheeks; strands of jewels illumine the curve of your throat. I’m making jewelry for you, gold and silver jewelry that will mark and accent your beauty.
The Shulamite woman was getting frustrated because Solomon seemed too busy to meet with her. She was very anxious to spend time with Solomon and was afraid he just didn’t want to see her.
Solomon assured her that she just needed to be patient because he thought she was very beautiful. I am sure that she was very relieved to know that Solomon was attracted to her, but probably almost immediately she began to worry about how their time together would go.
It is interesting to watch how people worry so much. It is easy to laugh or criticize this woman for being so paranoid, but almost all of us have done the same. During the dating process, one must be patient and remember that God is still in control. I believe that sometimes we want something or someone so bad that regardless of what God tells us to do, we continue to pursue that anyhow. Be careful!
Just A Thought
Traditionally, men are the ones to initiate the dating process; but in recent years women have become bolder in these areas. How do you feel about women “asking” men out on dates?
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Setting Of The Date
Song of Solomon 1:12-2:2(NKJV)
THE SHULAMITE
12 While the king is at his table, My spikenard sends forth its fragrance.
13 A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, That lies all night between my breasts.
14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blooms In the vineyards of En Gedi.
THE BELOVED
15 Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove’s eyes.
THE SHULAMITE
16 Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also our bed is green.
17 The beams of our houses are cedar, And our rafters of fir.
1 I am the rose of Sharon, And the lily of the valleys.
THE BELOVED
2 Like a lily among thorns, So is my love among the daughters.
Song of Songs 1:12-2:2(Message)
THE WOMAN
When my King-Love lay down beside me, my fragrance filled the room. His head resting between my breasts- the head of my lover was a sachet of sweet myrrh. My beloved is a bouquet of wildflowers picked just for me from the fields of Engedi.
THE MAN
Oh, my dear friend! You’re so beautiful! And your eyes so beautiful, like doves!
THE WOMAN
And you, my dear lover- you’re so handsome! And the bed we share is like a forest glen. We enjoy a canopy of cedars enclosed by cypresses, fragrant and green.
I’m just a wildflower picked from the plains of Sharon, a lotus blossom from the valley pools.
THE MAN
A lotus blossoming in a swamp of weeds- that’s my dear friend among the girls in the village.
Their first date must have been a dinner date. As they were eating she was quietly wondering what he was thinking. She was hoping he noticed how sweet she smelled. Finally, Solomon broke the silence and told her how beautiful she was. As he looked into her eyes he told her that she had beautiful eyes. She returned his kind words with telling him how handsome he was. She then told him that compared to some of the other “available” women that she felt very average. He replied to her that she was like a lily among the thorns. Meaning he thought she was the most beautiful of all the women.
Did You Know?
The Shulamite woman was thinking about how she smelled. It was an oriental custom for a woman to wear a small bag of myrrh, a perfumed ointment, around her neck at night. All the next day a lovely fragrance would linger about her.
There are several good dating tips in this section of Scripture.
Dating Tip #1:
Notice that their first date was over dinner. This is usually a good place for a first date. Men, the place you take the woman does not have to be fancy, but does need to be nice enough that it shows you care. See Solomon had taken her to his banquet hall. Not just anyone could eat with the King in his banquet hall. Now I do know that it can be awkward, especially for women, to eat in front of someone; but eating is something we all must do anyhow so why not share that time together.
Dating Tip #2:
In order for a date to be successful, their must be some talking. If both people just sit there and eat as fast as they can, not look at each other, and not talk; this will be a long painful experience for both people. Men, again notice that Solomon started off the conversation by telling her how nice she looked and how beautiful she was. People love to be complimented on their appearance and it is an important part of dating not to overlook these compliments.
Dating Tip #3:
It is a given that on the first date that you are going to be a “nervous wreck”, but try to calm down and enjoy the date. Even if the date is going terrible, it will soon end and you can move on. Probably the most important advice I can give anyone on their first date is: Be yourself! Don’t make up things to make yourself look good. Don’t put on a show. If this relationship is meant to progress, then it will progress regardless of how “boring” or inferior you may feel.
Setting The Other Women Straight
Song of Solomon 2:3-7(NKJV)
THE SHULAMITE
3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, So is my beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, And his fruit was sweet to my taste.
THE SHULAMITE TO THE DAUGHTERS OF JERUSALEM
4 He brought me to the banqueting house, And his banner over me was love.
5 Sustain me with cakes of raisins, Refresh me with apples, For I am lovesick.
6 His left hand is under my head, And his right hand embraces me.
7 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.
Song of Songs 2:3-7(Message)
THE WOMAN
As an apricot tree stands out in the forest, my lover stands above the young men in town. All I want is to sit in his shade, to taste and savor his delicious love. He took me home with him for a festive meal, but his eyes feasted on me!
Oh! Give me something refreshing to eat- and quickly! Apricots, raisins- anything. I’m about to faint with love! His left hand cradles my head, and his right arm encircles my waist!
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe- and you’re ready.
As after most dates that go well, there is some “bragging”, especially to the competition. The Shulamite woman was very quick to tell those “available” women how well the date went. She let them know that although it was a dinner date, that he focused all of his attention upon her. She told them about how he held her and about how much she was in love with him. She also let them know that she was planning on pursuing this relationship with him.
In verse 7 we are given a very important “piece” of advice. The Shulamite woman tells the other women not to rush into things. In essence what she is telling them to do is remain pure until they are married.
Pre-marital sex is a common problem in our society. Many times this occurs because one of the people in the relationship feel like if they will have sex with that person that it will keep that relationship from breaking up. Unfortunately what sex before marriage does is “taint” the relationship. Many times this is what destroys the relationship instead of holding it together.
I pray that God’s children would preach abstinence before marriage and not get into this “protected sex” mentality. I would also say that if you are a person that has had pre-marital sex that although you cannot change that fact, you can and must go to God and repent of that sin. He will forgive you. This does not mean to continue on having pre-marital sex. Resist this temptation through the power and strength given to you through Jesus Christ.
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Wednesday Evening Bible Study
Series: Intimacy (Study In Song of Solomon) #2
February 12, 2003
Bel Aire Baptist Church Marriage Class
Pastor Shawn Drake
