One of the scariest moments of my life happened during my first few years of ministry here. Denise had just given birth to our first daughter and after about 6 months of maternity leave, Denise went back to work three days a week, which left me to watch our new girl. One Wednesday morning I had to preach at the nursing home and had no baby sitter so I had to take Clarissa with me. At this time I had just purchased a truck that was a standard and to tell you the truth I had never driven a standard previous to me getting the truck and I knew very little about how a standard operates. It was cold in the morning, and I had to scrape some frost of the window that morning, so I placed baby Clarissa next to the passenger door and walked over to the driver side and decided to “warm the car up” while I was scrapping the window. So I just reached inside and stepped on the clutch in just like that the truck started moving forward and I had to leap into to stop it. My first thought was about Clarissa. She had been right next to the truck, was she okay? I ran over to her and sure enough she was sleeping just as before but my heart was beating a million times a minute. It was the most terrifying experience in my life thus far.
Now let me ask you, what terrifies you? Psychiatrist will tell you that we are born with only two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned or acquired and we learn at an early age to be afraid of many things. I heard of one little boy who was terrified of the dark. His mom said “Honey, don’t be afraid. we’re right next door. And remember God is with you in your room.” The boy reluctantly tiptoed back into his room and slowly cracked open the door. He whispered, “God, if You’re in here, don’t you dare move or you’ll scare me to death!”
This morning we are beginning a new series entitled Facing our Fears looking at some of the most common fears we have today. One thing we all have in common is that we all fear on thing or another. One of my favorite cartoon scene’s is in the “Charlie Brown Christmas Special” when Lucy, the so called Psychiatrist is trying to diagnose Charlie Brown’s emotional problems. Assuming that Charlie Brown’s problem is fear, she list several phobias in an effort to determine which one he has. Finally she says, “Charlie Brown, maybe you have pan-a-phobia-the fear of everything.” Charlie Brown blurts our, “That’s it!”
Now many of us don’t have pan-a-phobia, but we do fear something. And sometimes that fear can be so great that it grips our lives in a stranglehold not allowing us to enjoy our fellowship with God or this wonderful life God has given to us. In her book “Tame Your Fears”, Carol Kent explains that God gave us the emotion of fear as a positive motivator. It keeps us alert, gives us adrenaline and gives us a sense of challenge about life. But God does not want us to be afraid in a sense that we allow our fears to cause us to either do the wrong thing or even not to do anything whatsoever. Rather than becoming slaves to fear, we must learnt to “tame” our fears, channeling them correctly by focusing on God’s promise to be with us through those times when we are afraid. Romans 8:15 says, “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
Now we want to start this series out by looking at a fear many of us tend to have whether we recognize it or not…and that’s the fear of Failure. No one here wants to be known as a failure. This summer will be my ten year high school reunion and to ensure nobody thinks that I haven’t been successful I plan on arriving in a stretch limo wearing a long tailed tux. Actually I won’t, I’ll be wearing short tails.
But our society puts such a high emphasis on succeeding that failure is viewed as the end of the world. Bill Walton, an analyst for ESPN, was commenting on the expectation that the media is placing on high school basketball player Lebron James and said that they’ve built the kid up so much that if he doesn’t come into the NBA scoring double double’s each night than he’s doomed to fail. One football coach told his team, “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” With such an emphasis on success, no wonder we tend to fear failing the way we do.
Maybe you’ve experienced some high expectations that you have not met. Maybe you haven’t made it to the top of your field and your career has somewhat plateaud. A lot of pressure to succeed comes from our families…the need to be a good provider, a good father, and a good husband and even though you may be doing wonderful…it just doesn’t seem to meet the standards that have been set.
Sometimes the pressure we as Christians place on ourselves to be perfect in everyway is overwhelming and when we fail to meet those high expectations we tend to question our faith and the love that God has for us. To fail family and friends is one things, but the feeling that you somehow have failed God is one that is almost unbearable.
In Luke 22, we have read this morning about a failure that took place in the life of Peter. On the same night of his failure, Peter had made the boast that he would never betray our Lord Jesus, in fact he made it a point to say that even if everybody else did so, he would not. But when the moment of testing came, and Peter had the opportunity to make a bold stand for our Lord Jesus, Peter blew it big time. He failed and it cut him to the heart. Luke 22:60 says, “Peter replied, "Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!" Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly.”
No whether it is the experience of failure or merely just the fear of failure, the impact on our life can be traumatic. And we can respond in many ways. One response we have is that we fear failure to such an extent that we become overzealous in our attempt for success. We become anxious and worry day in and out over if we will make it or not, will it meet everybody’s expectations…and so we fret and fret and overwork ourselves to the point where we lose sight of what is most important in our lives. Our only concern is that to succeed.
Jimmy Johnson who is a football commentator on Fox Sports so feared failure and wanted to succeed in his football career to such an extent that he lost sight of everything else in his life. When he was coaching on the college level, he had a wife and the appearance of a marriage because he said, “it was expected of college football coaches.” The wife and family was needed for social occasions. The day he was named head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, he wanted to succeed so much that he set about to rid himself of this excess baggage so he got rid of his wife. He didn’t need her any more and he didn’t lose any time in losing her. He confessed that he never bought his boys birthday or Christmas presents. He just didn’t have the time, and they weren’t a priority. So he single-mindedly threw himself into his football team, and in January, 1993, he made it to the top, #1, they won the Super Bowl. He had succeeded, but at what cost?
Another response is that since we fear failing so much, we fail to even attempt to try. I read this week about the first sermon Billy Graham ever preached. He said that he had 4 sermons prepared and he was so nervous that he preached all 4 in under 10 minutes. Now could you imagine if after that Billy Graham said, you know I’m just not cut out for this. I don’t want to endure that kind of embarrassment again.” We would have lost one of the greatest preachers of our time.
Now Many of you might have big dreams but you fear failing so much that you won’t even take the smallest risk. John Ortberg has a wonderful book and I just love the title of it…it’s called “If you want to walk on the water you got to get out of the boat!” And if you are ever going to accomplish anything of significance you’re going to have to take a chance. How many of you fear speaking in public so much because of what others might think so when you are asked to give a testimony that would encourage and uplift so many other Christians you shutter in fear and say, “I can’t do it.” What if… I mess up, What if I stutter? What if the all thing I’m silly? What if I fail? And so you are limiting what God can do through you because of your fear of failing.
But perhaps the worse response we can have is to come to the conclusion that we are a failure. Not just a person who has failed but a failure. Not something we do, but something we are. I call this “the Charlie Brown Syndrome.” We get so accustomed to failing that we identify with it.
Did you read the article in the paper a while back about the man in Buffalo, New York who was so distraught at his failings in life that he jumped out of a fourth story window and landed on a car roof below and suffered only a few facial cuts. He went back into the building, took the elevator to the fourth floor and jumped again, and once again landed on the same car roof below this time only breaking his wrist and ankle. A police officer than arrested him and took him to the hospital where I understand they put him in a first floor room. If that man felt like a failure before imagine how he feels now.
But when we few ourselves as failures we lose sight of who we are in Christ and we start to doubt our worth to God and to others so often depression results and suicide is not all that uncommon. “How can anybody love a person like me”…we say.
I often wonder how Peter felt right his failure. Did he question if God could ever love him again? Did he question his own faith? Peter would eventually learn that God still loved him and that God still had big plans for him. In fact, Jesus predicted that after Peter’s failure, Peter would still be used by God. Luke 22:32 says, “But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." Though he failed, In God’s eyes Peter was not a failure.
Now for the next few remaining moments, I want to share with you some practical ways that will help you overcome both your failures and your fear of failing. First, remember that everybody fails. James 3:2 says, “We all stumble in many ways.” and even those Christians who you most admire have made mistakes and have failed in their life time. One of the Christians I respect the most is Joe Gibbs, the owner of Joe Gibbs racing and three time coach of super bowl champions. I thought that everything he did was perfect, but in 1981, when he was head coach of the Washington Redskins He became involved in a real estate partnership in Oklahoma just as the Sunbelt boom was ending and ended up owing seven banks about $1.2 million. At one point, he became so desperate he said and I quote, "I got on my knees. . . . (And) I said, ’Hey, God, it’s in your hands. I’m bankrupt. The only person who can straighten this mess out is You.’ ".
And many great men from the bible failed as well. Abraham: God promised him that his wife, Sarah, would give him a son. But what does Abraham do? He sleeps with and has a child by his wife’s servant. He “failed” to believe God but God didn’t give up on him. God made Abraham the “father of many nations”. Jacobis another example. Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord, survived the flood then ended up getting drunk! Moses stuttered and was a murderer. David, think about David. God made David king. As king, David commits adultery with Bathsheba, then has her husband murdered to hide his “failing”. Yet, David becomes known as “a man after God’s own heart”. And the list could go on and on, we haven’t mentioned Jonah or Peter or Paul, so realize you’re not alone when you fail.
Next realize that your failure is not the end of the world. Failures can be overcome. There is a cross with a Savior on it who died for our sins and we can go to our risen Lord and confess our failings and He stands willing and ready to forgive. But not only can we be forgiven, but there is some good in mistakes. Learn to make the most of your mistakes. In the back woods of Arkansas there was a doctor who worked both as a veterinarian and a taxidermist. The sign on his door read, “Either way, you get your dog back.” Make the most from your failures. Learn what you did wrong and how you can avoid it in the future. Learn where your shortcomings are and improve upon them. Take it as an opportunity to renew your commitment to Christ.
Next, make the determination that you will not stay down. Proverbs 24:16 reads, “for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.” The righteous man doesn’t stay down, he gets back up. Peter failed Jesus and blew it big time, but when he turned back to Christ for forgiveness, God restored Peter and Peter would go on to be the leader of the first church and would deliver the first Christian sermon to a crowd that consisted of many of the same people who were present at the crucifixion. Peter failed but by God’s grace he got back up and moved forward.
Finally, and this is the big one, Realize that God’s love for you is not dependent on your success. God loved Peter before he failed and after he failed. God’s love is unconditional and our mistakes doesn’t change how he feels. When my girls make a mistake or do something I tell them not to do, I correct them, I discipline them but I never stop loving them, you know why…because they’re my girls.
And that’s the kind of love our Heavenly Father has for us. Phillip Yancey has a wonderful definition of grace. It states that there is nothing you can do to make God love you anymore than He does now, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you any less than He does now.” God’s love does not change. I spoke earlier about Joe Gibbs the former football coach, and he contrasted the love the world has and kind of love that God has. He said, “The world’s love says if you win, we love you. If you lose, we’re going to boo you. (But) God’s love is unconditional…” God loves you in spite of who you are or what you’ve done.
But the only failure that is complete is when you fail to respond to God’s love. Though God’s love is for everyone, salvation is reserved for those who respond to His love by placing their faith and trust in Jesus Christ and who seek to obey His commandments. If you have never responded to the love given to us in Jesus Christ we invite you to do that this morning by placing your faith in Him as your Lord and Savior. If you are ready to do this or if you have not yet committed to membership we invite that decision this morning as well. If you have a decision to make this morning please come forward as we stand and sing.
