SERMONIC / WORSHIP THEME
Opening Statement: Few emotions are more painful than the emotion of loneliness. Deep loneliness is often experienced right after the holidays. The gifts have been opened. The parties have been given. All of the friends and family have returned home and the cookies have been eaten. Being alone after the holidays feels like a cold January wind that cuts through the layers of our warmth and security. Think of the single person enduring the pain of a broken romance. Think of the divorced person who doesn’t know what to do with his or her time over the holidays. Think of the inmate behind the bars of solitary confinement. Think of the military person overseas. Think of the widow whose table is still set for two. Think of the parents whose arms ache for a missing child. Think of the person who may be around acquaintances everyday but still has no vital connection. We’ve all been there – a part of the crowd but not of the community. There’s never a time in life when we can completely escape from loneliness. It will sneak upon all of us, even in the midst of a crowd and can last for a few moments or for a lifetime.
Transition: These thoughts will prepare you for the passage that we’ll be looking at today. A cold January wind cuts through 2 Timothy 4 as we look at several factors that contributed to Paul’s loneliness. Deserted by friends, opposed by an enemy, and unsupported in his court appearance by Christians who were perhaps afraid of imprisonment themselves, Paul writes…
Text: 2 Timothy 4:9-21
Recitation: 4:9 Make every effort to come to me soon. 4:10 For Demas deserted me, since he loved the present age, and he went to Thessalonica. [Demas was caught up in the materialism of the day] Crescens went to Galatia and Titus to Dalmatia. 4:11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is a great help to me in ministry. 4:12 Now I have sent Tychicus to Ephesus. 4:13 When you come, bring with you the cloak I left in Troas with Carpas [Perhaps Paul was being pursued by Roman officials and left it behind in a rush. Whatever the reason for being without it, now he really needs his coat while in the Mamertine Dungeon in Rome.] and the scrolls, especially the parchment ones. 4:14 Alexander the coppersmith did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him in keeping with his deeds. 4:15 You be on guard against him too, because he vehemently opposed our words. 4:16 At my first defense no one appeared in my support; instead they all deserted me—may they not be held accountable for it. 4:17 But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message would be fully proclaimed for all the Gentiles to hear. And so I was delivered from the lion’s mouth! 4:18 The Lord will deliver me from every evil deed and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever! Amen. 4:19 Greetings to Prisca and Aquila and the family of Onesiphorus. 4:20 Erastus stayed in Corinth. Trophimus I left ill in Miletus. 4:21 Make every effort to come before winter [When you try to travel in winter, there are too many delays. This is the second time he asks Timothy to come to him. Look at 2 Timothy 1:3-4)]. Greetings to you from Eubulus, Pudens, Linus, Claudia, and all the brothers and sisters. [Those who probably visited him in prison.] 4:22 The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you.
Title: Living with Loneliness…Even in A Crowd
MESSAGE
Background: Due to persecution, Paul was in prison in Rome, more than likely in the Mamertine Dungeon, located just across the street from the old senate building in the Roman Forum. You can still visit there today. There is a circular cell you enter by descending some steps; its only light is an open hole in the roof. There, beside the river, damp and dark and cold, was very likely where the Apostle Paul wrote this last letter to Timothy, his dear son in the faith. Writing from prison in Rome and sensing that the end was near, Paul gave his final words of encouragement, challenge, and caution to a young man that he had mentored and discipled in the faith. Paul sent this letter hoping that Timothy, who was in Ephesus (2 Timothy 1:18), would receive it in time to come to him in Rome before anything bad happened or winter set in (2 Timothy 4:9, 21). But if not, then this letter would serve as Paul’s last will and testament and would prepare Timothy to do the work of ministry in Paul’s absence and to ensure that the gospel was extended to the next generation. According to tradition, Paul was beheaded shortly after this letter was written. Whether Timothy made it to Rome in time is not known, but we know that his letter was preserved.
Key Word: Paul gives us SEVERAL PRACTICAL APPROACHES to controlling and living with our loneliness.
OUTLINE
Pull your friends around you.
Quotation: In 2 Timothy 4:9, Paul wrote: “Make every effort to come to me soon…” In 4:21, he said: “Make every effort to come before winter.” “Luke is with me,” (4:11) he said. “Pick up Mark and bring him with you (4:11).”
Clarification: This is not solitude. This is loneliness. Solitude is when you are alone so as to increase the quality of your time with God. Loneliness is when you are alone and you need human interaction. This is where Paul is.
Explanation: Some of Paul’s friends had deserted him. This was not a popular time in history to be identified as a Christian. Some of his friends had been deployed to other ministry assignments. Notice that Paul did not turn to alcoholism or drug abuse to try to ease his loneliness. He turned to his Christian friends. There were three that he needed in particular: Luke, Mark, and Timothy. Usually, it is two or three close companions over the years that we want to be with. In Paul’s case, it was…
Luke: Luke was a physician and probably a Gentile (cf. Col. 4:10-14 where Luke’s name is included with two other Gentile names). He wrote the Gospel of Luke and the Book of Acts. He traveled with Paul on many occasions and wrote a history of Paul’s journeys. He could be the one who was writing down the words of 2 Timothy for Paul. Perhaps Dr. Luke offered use of the term “gangrene” (2:17) to the Apostle. He was a true friend of the Apostle Paul, traveling with him as he spread the gospel and planted churches (see the “we” passages of Acts – Acts 16:10-17; 20:5-21:18; 27:1-28:16) and staying with him when death was near (2 Timothy 4:11). They had fought some battles together.
Mark: This was the cousin of Barnabas (Acts 13). Mark failed on the first missionary journey and this put him on Paul’s blacklist. He wanted nothing to do with him after that (Acts 15). However, something has happened. Loneliness and the passing of time have enabled Paul to see the value of Mark.
Timothy: Timothy is mentioned more than any other person in the salutation of the Pauline letters (2 Corinthians; Philippians; 1 and 2 Thessalonians; 1 and 2 Timothy; and Philemon). This indicates his close companionship with the Apostle. Timothy’s father was of Greek descent (Acts 16:1) and we are not sure if he had any spiritual impact on the family. Timothy’s mother and grandmother seemed to have been the dominate spiritual influences in his life, teaching him the Hebrew Scriptures (2 Timothy 1:5; 3:15) and Paul was the one that evidently introduced him to Christ (1 Corinthians 4:17; 1 Timothy 1:2; 2 Timothy 1:2). Paul ordained Timothy into the ministry (1 Timothy 4:14; 2 Timothy 1:6) and he became Paul’s devoted assistant, despite being sickly (1 Timothy 5:23), timid (1 Timothy 1:7), and young (1 Timothy 4:12).
Illustration: I just got through working my way through Bobby Knights biography, My Story. He tells about his basketball-coaching career and about his basketball philosophy. What many people do not realize due to the negative press coverage is that Bob Knight had a college graduation rate for his basketball team that was second to none. He graduated players. He also had raised thousands of dollars for Indiana University. He was responsible for library improvements and for the hiring of two endowed professors to teach at IU. Of course, he clarifies the issues that surrounded his firing from Indiana University in a way that balances what the press had said about him. As tough and crusty as Bob Knight appears to be, there’s one area that softens him more than anything. He repetitively points out how much his friends have meant to him over the years. It’s his friends, especially those who contacted him that first winter that he didn’t have a team to coach. He had been coaching basketball for over 30 years and now he had no team to coach. Many friends called him just after he was fired from IU, offering jobs, homes, fishing trips, and opportunities. John Madden even called him and Ted Williams had some great things to say in the press about Coach Knight. The feeling that you pick up on in the book is that outside of his parents and his upbringing in Orville, Ohio, that the single most important thing in life to him has been a friend in time of need.
Application: There is no such thing as a person who never feels lonely and who has no need of human friends. Human friendship is God’s loving provision for mankind. Nothing can warm the heart like companionship. When our spirit is lonely, we need friends. It’s winter for some people in your family or under your own roof – a son or daughter who is secretly aching to talk about things that are deep in their soul. Warm their heart by being their friend. Maybe it’s an elderly parent or grandparent who feels discarded, or the guy at work who’s always the odd man out, or the child who’s shunned by fellow students. Or the former friend whose call you don’t return anymore. The winter arrives at different times for all of us. In a winter season of life, pull your friends around you. Don’t control them or impose upon them; but get with them and be warmed by their companionship.
Quotation: Karl Menninger, the great Psychiatrist, was asked what a lonely, unhappy person should do. He said, “Lock the door behind you, go across the street, find someone who is hurting, and help them.”
Take care of your physical needs.
Quotation: 2 Timothy 4:13 says, “When you come bring the cloak which I left at Troas with Carpus.” Even menial tasks like this can be such a ministry to someone who is lonely.
Definition: The cloak would have been an outer garment of heavy material, circular in shape with a hole in the middle for the head. It was kind of like a glorified poncho, only with a lot more warmth and protection from the damp, cold dungeon air.
Explanation: When our body is cold, we need clothing. Lonely people need to take extra care of physical needs. When we’re lonely, it’s easy to let ourselves go by ceasing to care about our health, our looks, our hygiene, or our diet.
Illustration: When I’m feeling lonely, the single most important thing that I can do, strangely enough, is go play basketball at the Y. That does me more good than anything.
Application: Eat right. Exercise regularly. Take care of yourself. God has promised to provide all of our needs, but He’s given most of us a brain to figure some of these things out. Paul was taking precautions here to fight against the cold and so should we.
Grow the mind with good books.
Quotation: 2 Timothy 4:13: “…Bring…the books.”
Explanation: When our mind is bored, we need books. Don’t allow loneliness to isolate your thoughts. Instead, stimulate your thinking with great reading or listening to books on CD. Learn something new. Stretch your mind. Get a different perspective.
Illustration: Since graduating from college in 1991, I don’t know a time in my life that I haven’t been working through some kind of book or project. Lifelong learning keeps our mind active and positions us to be able to do new things.
Illustration: Howard Hendricks tells about a lady who had a passion for reading and who every time he would see her, she would ask him, “Name five books you’re reading right now.” She was passionate about lifelong learning.
Application: Become a reader or a lifelong learner and you’ll find that hours of loneliness become opportunities for growth. If you’re extremely lonely today, get busy reading.
Spend time in the Scriptures.
Quotation: 2 Timothy 4:13: “…Bring…the books, especially the parchments.”
Explanation: Commentators suggests that Paul is probably asking for his own personal copy of the Scriptures when he asked for the “parchments.”
Definition: The parchments would have been some scrolls made from the skins of animals. It was the way the Bibles were made back then. Paul was asking for his Bible. He knew that God had revealed Himself to us in this book and that God’s word has the answers for how we do life, even when in a time of extreme loneliness.
Application: Be a student of the greatest anthology of books ever assembled together in one book that we call the Bible.
Watch out for the negative thoughts.
Quotation: Paul states: “Alexander the coppersmith did me a great deal of harm (4:14).” “At my first defense no one appeared in my support; instead they all deserted me (4:16).”
Exposition: We don’t know what Alexander did to Paul. Perhaps, he was responsible for having Paul arrested. Imagine the struggle that you would have in thinking about the very person who had you arrested and put on death row unjustly. And regarding the first hearing that Paul had which preceded his formal trial, no one showed up. One author has noted that Roman law would have permitted Paul to employ an advocate and call witnesses. But among all the Christians in Rome there was not one who would stand at his side in court to speak on his behalf. Perhaps they were fearful of arrest themselves. So imagine the disappointment in the heart of the great church planter when the church itself had let him down.
Observation: This moment was for the Apostle, his Gethsemane. I think he probably caught site of the executioner’s sword. He had to face this ordeal alone, for at the time of his greatest need, all deserted him and fled (Mark 14:50). And just like the Savior, he did not hold it against them. And God made him a Daniel and shut the lion’s mouth against him, an allusion to Nero and the Satanic forces behind him (4:17).
Explanation: Paul deserved to have himself a pity-party. When we feel forgotten and shelved, we can give ourselves a pity, feel-sorry-for-me party. That doesn’t help our loneliness any. Thinking about who did us wrong and who wasn’t there for us when we needed them to be there, drives us further into the winter chill of isolation. Nostalgia can have a way of magnifying our lonely feelings.
Clarification: In both of these memories (Alexander who was out to get Paul and friends who failed to show up), Paul concluded that the Lord would repay Alexander in keeping with his deeds and that the Lord himself stood by Paul when nobody else did. So Paul turned the negative stuff over to the Lord.
Application: This is a great application point. Turn the negative stuff over to the Lord. Forgive the failures of others so you can go on and have a relationship with them, so you don’t have to be lonely.
Illustration: There’s someone I know today that refused to make amends with her family. Now, older in years, she lives life alone. You don’t have to do that. She’s creating her own loneliness by a hard heart. Forgiveness could break loose the love and compassion that’s being held back from one another due to bitterness.
CONCLUSION
Recap: Pull your friends around you. Take care of your physical needs. Grow the mind with good books. Spend time in the Scriptures. Watch out for the negative thoughts. And, you’ll be well on your way to Living with Loneliness…Even in a Crowd.
Application:
Some conclusions that believers can make…
1. Defections from the faith must not hinder our devotion to the cause. Demas left Paul for the present age.
2. Departures from those we love are common experiences in the life of servants. Just when Paul needed him the most, he sent Tychicus to Ephesus to take care of things there.
3. Sickness afflicts even Christians and it isn’t always God’s will to physically heal us. Paul left Trophimus sick in Miletus. God can bring good out of sickness. Sickness becomes sacred when we hear the voice of God in those quiet, sick moments. At other times, sickness must be endured for purposes known only to Him.
4. Partnership with others for God’s glory can encourage us to the very end as we face death.
Some conclusions that unbelievers can make…
1. You may be lonely today deep inside, but you don’t have to be. The Bible teaches us that we are spiritual separated from God and that this contributes to our inner loneliness.
2. This present world is passing away. Give yourself to something eternal.
