DO YOU SUFFER FROM “COMPARISONITIS”?
By: Pastor Ron Crandall
INTRO:
All of us have a dislike for diseases or illness’ or something that is like a destructive process in an organism.
We do not like suffering, We do not like the bearing of pain or distress.
When we have a deficiency in an area or multiple areas in our lives we tend to either cover them up, kind of like the squirrel does his nuts, so no else can find them.
Or like the anteater we begin to bury our noses so far into the hole that should a predator come, he has a hard time escaping the terror that is about to take place.
If you were to search medical journals or textbooks, you will not find this illness listed in any of them, nor will your company’s disability or health insurance or worker’s compensation program reimburse you for it.
Yet we are looking at one of the most debilitating diseases of the modern world it is called "comparisonitis"-the tendency to measure one’s worth by comparing oneself to other people.
Make no mistake this morning: comparisonitis is a scourge. It is an evil task master to your self esteem and your emotional well being.
It is as widespread and destructive as any physical or emotional malady (disease) known today.
So this morning, “How do you establish your identity?”
Are you always comparing yourself to others?
If so, you are suffering this morning from “Comparisionitis,” it is a disease that can kill you!
It will leave you isolated from others in the church. It will leave you isolated between your family members.
It will leave you isolated from your friends.
It will leave you isolated from your co-workers on your job. These are people in whom you may be trying to lead to Jesus, but because you are letting this distructive virus loose you are bound.
Do you find ways to look down on others and think highly of yourself because you enjoy greater abilities, intelligence, status, or wealth than they?
Or do you look down on yourself and envy others because you feel you are not as capable, smart, powerful, or rich as they are?
You risk loneliness, because no one cultivates friends by always finding fault with others in order to feel better about themselves.
In our Main thought this morning Paul’s writes to the Roman church about this subject in just 33 words giving the church warning of its deadly grip:
Rom 12:3
3 For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly (not flashy, but reasonable and serious), as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.
(NKJ)
Jesus broke it down for the Jews in a parable, he wanted them to understand the nature of it’s seriousness.
Luke 18:9-14
9 Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
10 "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 "The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ’God, I thank You that I am not like other men-- extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector.
12 ’I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’
13 "And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ’God, be merciful to me a sinner!’
14 "I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
(NKJ)
The Pharisee was plagued by comparionits; "God I thank you that I am not like other men...extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector.’I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’
Yet the man who was despised by many the word says:
The tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ’God, be merciful to me a sinner!’
We need to take a look lives and look hard at our thoughts, our desires, our motives, and our actions.
Many times we try to cover up the reality of lack of relationship with God by masking the predicament of our situation by the belittling of another, we try and pass it off as just mere jesting…..
Yet it is cruel to the bone…
We like to come at people who respond with disdain (beneath one’s dignity) with comments like….
Hey can’t you take a joke?
You are making more of this than is really there? Oh really…
We do not like to be confronted about our secret disease which is nothing more than a rejection of what God plan for our lives and the path He has ordained for us… And being content with what He has given for it is all you need to feel fulffiled and loose the need to compare...
There are far too many, who say mean things, just to watch the reaction on others faces.
I am not talking about the world this morning.
I am talking about the church, the household of faith, and that is YOU!
We think we are being cute or clever… But how does God see it.
Last Sunday morning I ministered on Love, the only problem is that too many of us are in love with ourselves and not the lost.
We are more interest in being the center of attention than the vessel with a solution, who is Jesus Christ.
Adults like to say “oh you preach it pastor these teens need to hear this…”
This morning it not only the teens that need to hear this message! But we as adults and leaders need to heed what Jesus is saying.
What our teens hear and see us do they mimic… not in a minor proportion but in a mammoth proportion.
We then get angry with them because they are now doing what we example to them in our actions, thoughts and deeds towards others.
Now we are the target of our own folly.
Pastor you are taking the fun out of coming to church… if I don’t have someone to poke fun at it won’t be fun at all...
If that is the reason we come to church we are here for the wrong reason.
I did not come to chruch this morning to see who was and was not here, I came to be in the presence of a Holy God. To stand like the tax collector asking him to remove that in my life which is unpleasing to Him.
Yet, You’ve been around those kind of people who are a joy to be around... people who are suffering from comparisonitis need to be set free today so that they can truely be a joy.
There is a Chinese proverb that says “You can’t carve rotten wood”
As Jesus laid the text book case of “comparisonitis” out for us in the parable of Pharisee and the Tax collector we can learn some things from the parable.
The Pharisee was so proud of himself that he started off his prayer “God, I thank you that I am not like other men.”
Do you do that?
It sounds so right …. It sounds so noble ….It sounds so lofty… No, It simply sounds like sin!
But Pastor, I am just thanking God that I am not like others, But there is a devious attitude at work here …
Are you really trying to fool God?
The word says:
1. There is a way which seemeth right
Prov 14:12
12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
(KJV)
2. He is nigh unto those who are broken and contrite
Ps 34:18
18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
(KJV)
3. Sacrifices come from a broken and contrite heart
Ps 51:17
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
(KJV)
Are you truly broken this morning or is the stubborn relentless head of “Comparisionitis” rearing its head in your life.
Have you found yourself trying to build your self esteem up by looking down on others less fortunate or gifted than you?
Do you bury our noses in the affairs of others?
If the answer is “YES” to that question, then the enemy has already laid the tempting snare of wanting what another possesses before you. Rather than accepting the will of God for you.
Maybe you think it will make yourself look better, smarter, more talented than the individual you are envious of.
Maybe it is a car,
Maybe it is that new job with a higher salary than yours,
Maybe it is clothing a dress, a suit or it can be as simple as jeans,
It could be even an inheritance,
It even takes the surreal the bizarre turn of wanting another’s girlfriend or wife, or family.
Can you see the danger of “Comparisonitis” it is loveless and heartless it only seduces us.
Not be Christ like, but to be Christless.
I want you to know this morning if you find yourself trying to make others look bad, so that you appear good then you are standing on the precipices of disaster.
You are standing on the shaky ground of “Comparisonitis” because your identity becomes uncertain.
You will never be able to be sure about yourself or your relationships with those nagging secrets….
They will always be nipping at your heels, speaking into your ear, challenging you, daring you to take the next step.
Some will walk away this morning saying boy I am glad that this wasn’t for me.
If that even crosses your mind then this message is from God to you…. And you will be one step closer to a loveless life…
Everyone of us should be crying out to God “God, be merciful to me a sinner!”
Bill Gothard made three observations about loneliness:
1. Loneliness is the anguish I feel when I sense that I am being cut off from the spirit of others. ("I am full of heaviness: and I looked for someone to lament with me; but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none:’-Psalm 69:20)
2. Loneliness is the evidence that I was expecting others to meet my needs as only God can. ("My soul waits thou only upon God. For my expectation is from Him:’-Psalm 62:5)
3. Loneliness means that at that very moment, God feels the same anguish, toward me because my basic delight is not in Him. ("I will delight myself in the Lord and He shall give me the desires of my heart:’-Psalm 37:4)
He went to add , "Read Psalms when lonely; quote 73:25," which says:
“Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.”
I think I would be safe in saying that 75% of the people who suffer from “Comparisonitis” are very lonely people. Because they are vanity driven from all other shifts and they are forced to appeal themselves for admiration, thus, comes the belittling of others.
Comparisonitis is not a new disease actually it is an ancient disease.
Its beginning can be traced all the way back to Jesus’ time, and yes, even to the Old Testament.
Paul here in Romans 12:3 was addressing it to the roman church.
Certainly Paul was aware of how deadly it could be.
That’s why he offered an antidote for it-to see ourselves not as we stack up against others, nor as others evaluate us, but as God sees us (Rom. 12:3).
Ultimately,it is His estimation of our worth is what matters. And to Him we matter a lot!
God does not define us according to culturally defined externals.
Even our gender, ethnicity; family heritage, or body type are not of primary importance to Him.
No, He uses an altogether different set of criteria as the basis for how He deals with us, as several people in Scripture indicate:
Paul found that God’s grace made him who he was (1 Cor: 15: 10).
10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. (NKJ)
He also discovered that despite his past, God had made him into a new person (2 Cor: 5: 17)
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (NKJ)
Peter learned that God’s power gave him everything he needed to live his life and pursue godliness (2 Pet. 1:3).
3 As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, (NKJ)
Job realized that all he had-family, friends, possessions, and even his health-was ultimately from God (Job 1:21).
21 And he said: "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
22 In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong. (NKJ)
The Psalmists David understood that God Himself had created him, "fearfully and wonderfully.” Imagine what that did for his self-image! (Ps. 139:14).
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. (NKJ)
When we contrast the Pharisee and the Tax Collector who was the second man in Jesus’ parable.
The Tax Collector as despised as he was during that day, looked to God in order to see himself properly.
In doing so it exposed his sin, but it also brought about God’s Forgiveness and restoration.
He shows us the path to a true identity and healthy walk with God.
His relationship was based on honesty about himself and becoming more like Christ.
Many of us have forgotten the Christian ABC’s:
Act instead of Argue
Build instead of Brag
Climb instead of Criticize
Dig instead of Deprecate
Encourage instead of Envy
Fight instead of Faint
Give instead of Grumble
Help instead of Harm
Invite instead of Ignore
Join instead of Jeer
Kneel instead of Kick
Love instead of Lampoon
Move instead of Mould
Nurture instead of Neglect
Obey instead of Obstruct
Pray instead of Pout
Quicken instead of Quit
Rescue instead of Ridicule
Shout instead of Shrink
Try instead of Tremble
Under gird instead of Undermine
Vindicate instead of Vilify
Witness instead of Wilt
Exterminate instead of Excuse
Yield instead of Yell
Zip instead of Zigzag.
This morning if you suffer from comparisonitis...
There is hope this morning through Jesus Christ! You can make your self abased this morning spiritually, and you can remove your fingernails from others lives because you are content with who you are in God.
Job 5:17
17 Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty:
(KJV)
Prov 3:13
13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
(KJV)
What needs to change in your self assessment for you to see yourself as God see you?
This morning I want to invite you to raise your hand as I give the alter call just letting the Lord know I hear what you are saying and giving the enemy a sign that he can see, that you surrender your will to the fathers will and you do not need anyone else’s approval accept for His.
