She was just a hooker, a lady of the night. And normally we wouldn’t even consider her to be in the running for “Mother of the Year” but then again, it’s not wife of the year we are looking at, it’s mother of the year and the two aren’t always the same. Maybe you know the story, maybe you don’t. We don’t know a whole lot about her, we know that she was a prostitute; we know that she lived with at least one other prostitute, we know that she was a new mom and we know that she had a major problem.
It seems that both the heroine of our story and her roommate gave birth at the same time, which was probably an occupational hazard of their particular profession. And they both had sons, one morning shortly after the boys were born it was discovered that one of the children had died in the night. The cause given was that the mother had rolled over and smothered him. It’s here that the story gets a little confusing. The mother with the dead child claimed that it wasn’t her son, that her colleague had switched the boys in the night after the accident. The other mother protested her innocence and maintained that she had done nothing wrong and that the children had never been swapped.
One of these women was lying; both could not be telling the truth. People do that you know, they lie. Honest. I’ve been in the ministry for a hundred years, well maybe not quite a hundred years but over twenty years, and I’ve seen people lie. I have sat down with couples in marriage counselling and she has said black and he has said white, and to look at them you swear they were both telling the truth, and yet they couldn’t be. I’ve heard her say “He does this vile thing” and him say “no I don’t never have.” And I just shake my head. They sound like a couple of kids, “Did too” “Did Not” , Did too” “Did Not”, “Did too”. It’s amazing sometimes that any children actually survive to adulthood. It’s like I tell my children, “Kids you know where liars go?” and they know they answer now and they both respond, “Yes, Ottawa.”
And so we have a problem, who is telling the truth and who is lying? The story is found in the Old Testament book of 1 Kings, David has died and Solomon his son has become king of Israel. Ruth is going to come to read the story for us, and I’m going to ask that you stand for the reading of God’s word. 1Kings 3:16-28
To put this story into context we need that understand that shortly after Solomon had become king, he went to a place called Gibeon to offer a sacrifice to God and while he was there he had a dream where God appeared to him and offered him anything he wanted. Anything. Suppose God appeared to you and made you the same offer. “Say Bob, you can have anything you want, you name it and it’s yours.” What would you request? A better job, a bigger house, a nicer car? More money, a happier marriage, There are probably a dozen good request that you could make, all valid choices. But listen to how Solomon responds in 1 Kings 3:9 Please make me wise and teach me the difference between right and wrong. Then I will know how to rule your people. If you don’t, there is no way I could rule this great nation of yours. Of all the things he could have asked for he asks for wisdom. Maybe he didn’t need to ask for wisdom, maybe he was already wise because listen to how God answers his prayer, 1 Kings 3:12-13 So I’ll make you wiser than anyone who has ever lived or ever will live.
I’ll also give you what you didn’t ask for. You’ll be rich and respected as long as you live, and you’ll be greater than any other king. You gotta love that.
And so Solomon goes back to Jerusalem and throws a feast for his entire court. It’s not long after that the two prostitutes show up with this compelling problem. This is to be the first test of Solomon’s wisdom. During my preparation for this message I came across an interesting little tidbit that was part of an assignment at the Harvard School of Law. It actually uses this story as a case study, this is what it says. It looks as if Solomon were deciding who was the real mother. But the evidence, namely the differing responses of the two women to the prospect of the child being killed, seems quite ambiguous when judged in terms of its probative value on the question of which woman is the real mother. One can easily imagine further facts about the two women and the child that would affect our view of the significance of their responses. Suppose there was evidence that one of the women was a brutal child-hater who already had more children than she wanted, while the other was a person who opposed all forms of killing and who had been trying for years to bear a child. Would this evidence be relevant? How would it cut? A brutal child-hater who already had more children than she wanted might prefer to have the king kill the baby rather than see it go to her hated, lying neighbour. Perhaps the neighbour was indeed a saintly person who had wanted a child for years and, when she found her baby dead, had pulled a switch but then repented when she saw that the king was about to kill the baby. Is it possible that Solomon concluded that he could not decide who the natural mother was and therefore based his decision on a quite different ground, namely, who would be the better mother? Well maybe but the scripture that Ruth read this morning said that it was the woman who really was the mother who jumped in and saved the life of the infant.
So what can we learn from this story and from this mother?
1) She was Perseverant. I wonder how many different avenues this woman how already exhausted? Did the two women work for the same madam or pimp had she asked them to intervene? Had she gone to the local authorities? Perhaps the magistrate? Had they all given her the same answer, “There is nothing we can do, how are we supposed to know which one of you is lying?” How often had she considered giving up, just throwing up her hands and saying it’s no good, I’ll never have my child back? And if she had of done that what would the result have been? Her child would never have been returned, she would have gone through the remainder of her life full of self doubt and self loathing. For the rest of her time on earth she would have been plagued with “What ifs” and “if onlys”
And yet deep down inside she knew that somewhere there would be someone who would listen to her, that somehow the truth would come out. Most of us will go to extremes for our kids, we drive them back and forth to music lessons, soccer, hockey, baseball, hockey, school events, dances, did I mention hockey? We want our kids to have the very best and we are will to persevere to make sure they get the very best.
And we don’t give up on them, we want them to do the very best they can do in school, in sports, socially. And we push them and encourage them, sometimes we berate them. But we do it so they will achieve and be the very best that they can possibly be, although sometimes I wonder if we are pushing them to be the very best we should have been or could have been. And we try not to give up, even though at time that would appear to be the easiest thing to do. As parents we are supposed to be the ones that know the benefits of perseverance, they are children we are adults.
They can’t see the end result, they think we are just being annoying when we continue to pester them about doing their home work, and practicing their piano and brushing their teeth. But we know that in the end those are the things that will make the difference. That when they are adults and have an education, can play the piano and don’t’ have to keep their teeth in a glass they will thank us. And it’s not something that we do once, you know in grade one your kid comes home, you say “Don’t forget to do your homework.” And that’s the last time you have to mention it. And every parent here knows the truth of Margaret Thatcher’s statement when she said “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” This woman was willing to go the second mile and the third mile and the fourth mile, even if it meant that she, a prostitute, would have to make her way to the throne room of the King of Israel, the spiritual leader of the nation to plead her case.
We all know the need to persevere in the things of the world, school, sports, music, but how about the spiritual? Are we willing to go the limit to make sure our kids are in church, go to youth group are involved in spiritual things. After all if they blow their education they can go back for upgrading, if they don’t learn piano oh well, they probably won’t make it to the NHL anyways and they can always wear dentures, but eternity is forever. And remember you may have to fight that battle more then once to win it, but it needs to be won.
I don’t know who Robert Strauss is or what he was referring to but he could have been referring to parenthood when he said “It’s a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired, you quit when the gorilla is tired.”
And it was Julie Andrews, who said Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th. I think it was Suzanna Wesley, John and Charles Wesley’s Mother who had nineteen children, twelve of whom live. Once she was telling one of her children something and someone said “That is the tenth time you’ve told that child that.” And Suzanna replied, “And if I’d only told them nine times, I would have wasted my time.” You understand what she meant right? It might be the next time that sticks.
2) She was willing to sacrifice Here was a woman who was willing to give up everything for her child, her time, her pride and even her child. We all know that raising kids require sacrifice, right? Financially you all heard how much it costs on an average to feed, clothe and educate your children. An article in US News started off this way “To examine in coldly economic terms a parent’s decision to have children is widely thought to be in bad taste. A child, after all, isn’t precisely akin to a consumer product such as a dishwasher, a house, a car, or a personal computer--any one of which, of course, is cheaper to acquire and usually easier to return.” According to The Centre for International Statistics at the Canadian Council on Social Development in 1998 the cost to raise a son to the age of 18 was $159,927.00 and it was $158,826.00 for a girl. When I first looked at the figures I didn’t understand, why more for a boy, then I looked at the breakdown and realized that the extra food required by a teenaged boy was greater then the extra clothing required by a teenaged girl. That was in 1998, today it would probably be close to $170,000. That’s a house in Bedford, three BMW Z3s, ten Harleys. And that’s before they go to college. But of course the sacrifices don’t end there. We make sacrifices of our time, or our energy, and for the most part they think you enjoy getting up at 5 a.m. to get them to hockey practice and that you enjoy waiting up until midnight or later to make sure they get in safe and sound. And for the most part we are willing to make those sacrifices.
And it’s those sacrifices that make us parents; South African Writer Nadine Gordimer said “There is no moral authority like that of sacrifice.” And Mothers you know that, how many times have you used sacrifice as your moral trump card? “After all I’ve done for you, carried you for nine months I was as big as a house, my feet swelled up like Bedroom slippers, do you want to see my stretch marks? And then, and then, you want to break my heart, well go ahead.”
But this woman was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, she was willing to give up her child. She would give up her opportunity of being a mother for her child. That’s what set her apart from the other woman, with the other woman it was all about her. I have a cousin who became pregnant when she was a teenager, in Australia we’d say she fell pregnant, which always caused me to have all kinds of weird mental pictures, opps, thump, “Dear I think I’m pregnant.” Anyway, when my cousin was still in High School she gave birth, and gave the child up for adoption to a Christian couple who couldn’t have children. She felt that as much as she wanted to keep her child that they would have more opportunities with that family. That’s not always the case, sometimes single moms make the sacrifice of raising a child by themselves because they feel that it will be in the best interest of the child. My mom was a teenaged mom, and she didn’t do a half bad job with my sister and me, then again my sister is in and out of jail all the time, well actually she works for the corrections department, I like my story better.
Oh and when you make those sacrifices so they will be better scholars, better hockey players, better musicians don’t forget to make some sacrifices so they will be better people, better Christians. Like getting up on Sunday Morning so they are in church, getting them out to youth events, paying for them to go to Christian rallies and Christian Camps. We have literature on the back table about Caton’s Island which is second to none when it comes to summer camping programs. You say “Denn we can’t send them to hockey camp, music camp, computer camp and a Christian Camp” Yeah you’re probably right, so you figure it out.
3) She Was Willing To Go To A Higher Power Here’s the question, do you take your kids to a higher power? Not the king, God. Do you pray for your children, over your children and with your kids? I have a confession to make, we are not good at “Family Devotions” I hope that didn’t just destroy your image of the perfect pastoral family. We’ve tried, and we can do it for awhile, read scripture and pray together, but then it gets tough, we can’t get everyone together, we’re tired and I know that’s no excuse.
But we do pray for our kids, Angela prays for them when she has her quiet time with God, I pray for them when I have my quiet time with God. And here’s something we do, I’m not bragging, don’t get me wrong this is just something we do. Every day when my kids go to school they know that they are not stepping out through that door until I place my hand on them and pray for them. When I’m not home Angela does it. We thank God for who they are, we ask God to protect them and be with them, and we ask God to draw them closer to Him. It’s not always an eloquent prayer, sometimes it’s a rushed prayer, but we pray for our kids everyday.
You do not have what it takes to be a parent, but God does and he can give it to you. If you aren’t praying for your kids then you need to start and at the same time pray that God will make you a better parent. James the brother of Christ tells us in the letter he wrote, in James 1:5 If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God wants you to do—ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. And what parent doesn’t need wisdom?
As far as we know the Apostle Paul never married and never had children but this could be the cry of a father or mother. Here are God’s word for you today, Mother’s Day 2002. 2 Corinthians 4:8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit.
If you are a parent today I want to pray for you. So I’m going to ask all of our Parents, mothers and fathers to stand.
PowerPoint may be available for this message contact me at denn@bccnet.ca
If you could build a church for a dollar . . .
Would you?
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