August 11, 2002
My daughter, Jennifer, sent me the story of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.
"You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so, I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "This is good!"
"What do you mean, ’This is good?’ How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you."
The story teaches that we should look for the blessings in everything! Now that is not a bad thing – especially if your attitude is a little negative. You would do well to dwell on the lovely things. However, it is a better thing to look for God’s way than His blessings.
Many Christians today want to center on blessings, blessings, blessings. Blessings aren’t bad, but they are not the center of the target here. Blessings are a by-product of obedience and watchfulness over our Christian lifestyle. They are not the end we seek – they are the serendipitous overflow of a life lived under obedience to the direction of God.
An example of this showed up in a recent article of the Florida Baptist Witness about Fathers:
…[a] study, reported in the Journal of Marriage and Family, concluded that conservative evangelicals make better fathers than their secular counterparts. The study suggests that evangelical dads are far more likely to read with their children, eat dinner with them and engage in outside activities together. The Boston Globe reports that, according to the study, fathers in a nuclear family with "strong religious and community ties" are "most likely to show up at dinner and put their kids to sleep reading ’Goodnight Moon.’" Of course, this data leaves some secular academics scratching their heads.
"Evangelical Protestant fathers, including Southern Baptists, are very involved with their children, which I found surprising, given their tendency to embrace traditional gender attitudes," University of Virginia sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, who conducted much of the research for the study, told The Washington Times.
Dr. Wilcox’s reaction is predictable. Secular observers seem to wonder how people hold to such bizarre understandings of male headship and the complementary roles of men and women in the home. The sociologist asks himself why such "oppressive" views of gender roles and family life shouldn’t produce homes seething with resentment and neglect. After all, wouldn’t one expect that conservative evangelical dads would dismiss childrearing as "woman’s work," while they attend Billy Graham crusades or uproot South American rain forests, or do, well, whatever it is that evangelical men do?
Perhaps there is another explanation. Perhaps evangelical fathers are more committed to their children, not in spite of their biblical understanding of the family, but because of it. (1)
The point here is that following God’s method of being a father as a man of God first will provide the kind of home kids need. In the end that is the biggest blessing a father can have…children who are loved, and in the end respond well to him. The blessing of having loving children who love you, Dads, is not the target; setting the example so they will grow up as strong followers of God is the target. But in the process they come back and bless you. Bonus on top of joy!
Nehemiah displays several principles that can help every Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt and Uncle as we apply them to our roles in family life. The principles are for raising your kids and grandkids. It has to do with how to live a watchful life.
In our study of Nehemiah we’ve seen how, against great odds and opposition they rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem in just 52 days. Once the shell to the city was rebuilt it was time to concentrate on building up the homes. They had to build and keep watch at the same time.
Principle #I. Watch the BORDERS Carefully
1Now when the wall was rebuilt and I had set up the doors,and the gatekeepers and the singers and the Levites were appointed, Nehemiah 7:1 (NASB)
Godly watchfulness is a constant theme in the Bible:
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4.23
Watch yourselves, that you do not lose what we have accomplished, but that you may receive a full reward.
9Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; 2 John 1.8-9
In 1991 I preached a message to the church I was serving. It was near Independence Day. I said this about our political roots:
We were founded as a Democracy, based upon the basic Judeo-Christian model of Holy Scripture; we have been called a Christian nation - Our pledge of allegiance even says we are one nation under God. But we are no longer a Christian nation.
There are some looks you never forget. At the sound of my words, one lady had the look of someone who’d been shot between the eyes. She didn’t move the rest of the service, deep in thought. After the service she came to me and said, “Oh, Pastor, are we not a Christian nation any more? What are we?” I gently placed my hand on her shoulder and said, “Dottie, we are a secular nation”. She thought a minute, and then asked, “When did it happen? Nobody told me”.
When it comes to watching the borders at home, parents cannot be too careful. I answered the phone this past week. A single father wanted help with Christmas. I questioned the man and found out he doesn’t go to church, but he allows a church to take his children (both pre-teens) every Sunday. They go all the way from down around Denton to Winston.
When I asked the name of the church the man couldn’t remember it. I said to him, “Mister, you let them take your kids 30 miles, and you don’t even know what church it is?” His reply was: “Well I trust them; they’re real nice. They bring the kids bubble gum and stuff every week.”
Now, folks, that’s not watching the borders of home.
Principle #II. Examine the BUILDERS Constantly
2then I put Hanani my brother, and Hananiah the commander of the fortress,in charge of Jerusalem, for he was a faithful man and feared God more than many.
Nehemiah 7:2 (NASB)
Nehemiah didn’t put just anyone in charge of the city he’d just risked his life to rebuild. He chose men who were faithful and men who feared God above others’ example. How did he know these men were faithful? I can’t really say, but I will venture a guess that he investigated thoroughly by reputation as well as proving them in the work; what convinced Nehemiah was probably their daily example of working on the wall and leading others.
It was that way in the early church as they selected leaders:
8Deacons likewise must be men of dignity, not double-tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain, 9but holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10These men must also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons if they are beyond reproach. 1 Timothy 3.8-10
Many churches these days hold a popularity contest when they elect leaders – or a political and friend-building exercise. That isn’t Biblical. It isn’t even smart. Just because you like someone doesn’t mean he makes a good leader. On the contrary, leadership means holding firmly to the stuff, even when people don’t like it – or you! When you choose leaders make certain they are committed to this church, and to God’s principles. Anything less is not examining the builders or watching the borders.
Now, it’s important as parents to make certain there are Godly people exercising Godly discernment who are leading our children. A question that should constantly be on our minds is: Are our Sunday School classes building lives or are they simply entertaining or “babysitting” our children? Are we guilty of being activity directors or are we in the spiritual development business?
The same can be applied concerning the upcoming trip to the National Acteen Convention for our young ladies. The people we send with them will be of the highest character, acting (and expecting the girls to act) with dignity and pure Christian deportment. There is no “wiggle room” on any of that.
I served in a church once where there was a dark past hovering over the youth ministry. A few years before I arrived, two young adults (a man and woman) were co-leaders of the Youth Department. They were both married, but not to each other. They took the youth to camp that year, and hid nothing of their passion for each other. She got pregnant.
Ladies and gentlemen, that obscene example split that church wide open the year I accepted the pastorate there. (In retrospect I sure wish the Pulpit Committee had told me about it before I came there.) The reason was poor choice of leadership. Those folks should not have been in leadership. They had no commitment to God’s Word. Leaders especially have a responsibility to avoid even the appearance of evil
Abstain from all appearance of evil.
1 Thessalonians 5.22
What that means is, even if there is nothing going on, make certain what you do doesn’t even give that impression – not by the world’s standards, but by Christ’s standard. I don’t counsel with women unless one of two conditions are met – either my door is open, and our secretary is in the next room, or my wife is present. I could say nothing is happening…I want everyone to know nothing is happening. I’ve been accused of being afraid of women because of my stance on this – I’d rather be accused on the side of
Christ than stand silently convicted.
That’s what it means to constantly examine the builders. You have to take a look at who is influencing your children…and your own life. Kevin Garvey has a thriving business in Broward County, Florida. He is the only trapper licensed by the county to remove nuisance alligators. In 2000, he received 616 alligator complaints and removed 97 animals. The top spot in his county [for gator sightings is] Weston, a meticulously groomed planned city. Seems the homeowners there, who spent up to $700,000 for their homes, did not expect [or] appreciate giant reptiles in their idyllic new community.…Weston and other planned communities are often built right on top of the marshlands that were previously inhabited by the offensive reptiles….Such a story begs the question: How could anyone who moves into prime alligator habitat be surprised to see alligators there? (2)
In the same way, why do so many Christians settle for lifestyles that invite trouble, then act surprised when they fall into sinful conduct? Nehemiah examined the life of those leaders he put in charge of running Jerusalem. In the lives of our children and grandchildren, it is no less important.
The borders must be carefully watched, and the builders must be constantly examined, and then….
III. Follow the BLUEPRINT Faithfully
61These were they who came up from Tel-melah, Tel-harsha, Cherub, Addon and Immer;but they could not show their fathers’ houses or their descendants, whether they were of Israel: Nehemiah. 7:61 (NASB)
The whole assembly together was 42,360, besides their male and their female servants, of whom there were 7,337; and they had 245 male and female singers.
Their horses were 736; their mules, 245; 69their camels, 435; their donkeys, 6,720. Nehemiah 7:66-69 (NASB)
Unless you read the passage closely you can miss something. Starting at verse 6 there is a long list of the members of each family. At verse 61 we are shown the list of those without valid claim to being in the family. They presented themselves as part of the nation of Israel, but they had no birth certificate proof!
Verses 66 – 69 add up the total (even the mules) of all the true members of the household – positively excluding those pretenders.
There is a word to each of us here about being in the family. At the end of the service today we will sing a parting song…”The Family of God”. The lyrics go, I’m so glad I’m a part of the family of God. For those folks who lived near Jerusalem, had called themselves Jews, part of the family of Reuben or Judah, or whatever, there came a time when proof was required. When there was no proof, they were put outside. The parallel is easy to see from Matthew 7:
21“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’
“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.’
There is that about the Christian family. It is open to anyone; God has said so! On the other hand, God has also said how that happens; there is only one blueprint for salvation. You come via the cross, not how good you’ve been, or how much money you’ve given, or how often you’ve gone to church.
The blueprint to follow is to confess to God the fact that you are a sinner, believing that Christ died for you to take your punishment for sin. And, by faith you receive the forgiveness He freely offers anyone who will come to Him that way.
Incidentally, until you come to Him that way, nothing you ever do as a parent will work out. You cannot raise a Godly child without a Christian parent. It takes a watchful life. It begins with the blueprint.
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FOOTNOTES
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(1) Russell D. Moore The Evangelical Dad Is A ’Strange Phenomenon’ To Some, Baptist Press, 11/21/ 2002
(2) Ed Rowell, Franklin, Tennessee; source: USA Today (7-24-01)
