Families are funny things, and I don’t mean funny in the sense of humorous. Families are a strange and wonderful and dangerous thing. The people that we love the deepest are probably part of our family. In a family unit there is the potential for the most fulfilling and closest relationships that are possible here on earth. But with that closeness there is an inherent danger. If trust is broken or if some bitterness arises, those relationships that have the greatest potential for love also have the potential to inflict the deepest wounds. Nobody can hurt you like a member of your family. Because you entrust them with a part of your heart, you are most vulnerable to pain from those who are closest to you. I think that might have been why George Burns said, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
I say those things out of my own personal experience. The people in my immediate family are the closest people to me on earth. My wife, children, mom and brother are people I would do anything for, and who would do anything for me (well, sometimes I struggle to get the kids to clean up their rooms or bring in the garbage cans, but you know what I mean). My most fulfilling relationships are with my family. On the other hand, the aunt who recently died and the uncle who is in the hospital, our relationships have been estranged for years. Except for a few isolated occasions, we haven’t seen one another for about 15 years. It all traces itself back about 25 years and I don’t even know what it was all about, but for some reason my father and his brother and sisters quit talking. As a result, last week at my aunt’s funeral my family gathered with that part of the family for the first time in 15 years. We were cordial and polite, I don’t even know if there are hard feelings any more. I do know that at some point some pretty deep wounds were inflicted, and the repercussions and scars are still evident.
Our family isn’t unique. There are probably skeletons in your family history also. Just open up the Bible and there is all kinds of family strife going on. Cain killed his brother Able out of jealousy. Jacob bargains with Esau for his birthright, then tricks his dad, Isaac out of Esau’s blessing. Joseph’s brothers are jealous enough that they want to kill him, and their compromise is to sell him as a slave. Jeremiah’s family deserted him because of his unpopular message. Even Jesus’ family one time thought he was crazy, and came to take him back home to get him to come to His senses. Nothing is more challenging than maintaining peace within any family affair.
That’s why it is somewhat surprising that when God is looking for an image to use to describe the church here on earth, the one he uses most is the image of a family. The New Testament is cram packed with the idea that the church is a family. In Ephesians 2:13 Paul tells us that we are members of God’s household. In Matthew 12:46-50 it says, 46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” 48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
The image is woven so deeply into the fabric of Christian thought that you almost miss it. God is constantly thought of as a “Heavenly Father” who provides for the needs of His children. We often refer to the people of our church as “brothers and sisters in Christ” or our “Church family.” Quite honestly, there are so many references in the New Testament to this idea that I couldn’t even begin to touch them all, and the idea has so many implications that I could talk all day and still not get to all of it. (Pause) You will be glad that I love my brothers and sisters too much to do that to you.
Instead of pouring out a bunch of random Bible verses, I hope to focus our attention on the family relationships that are so important. You see, what this idea of the church as a family tells us, is that DNA or genetic lineage doesn’t determine a family. Family is determined by relationship. The New Testament uses a Greek word “Koinonia” that most English versions translate “fellowship.” But fellowship is more than a little chit-chat over coffee and donuts. In the Bible, fellowship is all about sharing yourself with others. “Koinonia” involves being involved in life with one another, knowing what is going on, holding each other accountable, helping out where help is needed, working side by side and even sometimes covering someone else’s back. Now there are two types of relationships that are going on in the church that you have to understand if you are going to flourish in the family of God.
1. Relating To A Heavenly Father.
One of the principles that the Bible teaches is that God hates sin. He is so repulsed by sin that He cannot help but pour out His wrath on it. God’s holiness demands that sin be punished. That is a terrible reality to every human being, because there is not one of us in this room who is not a sinner. God loves us, every one of us. But because of our sinfulness the Bible tells us that by our very nature we are “objects of God’s wrath.” If that were all there was, the end of the story would be death and hell. But the Bible is a message of good news.
In John 1:10-13, we learn that not every person on earth is a part of God’s family, only those who believe in Jesus. Speaking of Jesus, John wrote, "But although the world was made through him, the world didn’t recognize him when he came. Even in his own land and among his own people, he was not accepted. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn! This is not a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan—this rebirth comes from God." (NLT)
You see, when we believe that Jesus is God’s Son and place our trust in Him, our position with God changes. Instead of having to live in fear of His wrath, we can live in the confidence of His love. We begin to have “Koinonia,” fellowship with Him. We share our lives with Him, and He shares His blessing with us. He is not just our creator, He becomes our Father in Heaven who provides for our needs and disciplines us when we need to be straightened out. We turn to Him when we are in times of need and we thank Him for the things He does for us. Don’t take that for granted. Jesus died on a cross so that we could relate to God as a Father instead of an object of wrath. God wanted to adopt us so much into his family that He sent His only perfect Son to accept the penalty for our sinfulness. What kind of incredible privilege is that!
So in Romans, after Paul explains that we are adopted into God’s family when we place our faith in Christ, He goes on to tell us that when we come to recognize that fact, it changes the way we behave. Listen to what Paul writes in Romans 8:15-16, So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God’s very own children, adopted into his family—calling him “Father, dear Father.” For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God’s children. (NLT)
When you think about God as a Father who loves you so incredibly much, it changes your attitude about sin. I don’t think I really understood this until I had kids myself. As a Father, I love my kids no matter what they do, but when I see them do well, my heart swells with pride. When they don’t do as they know they should, my heart grieves and it’s painful. Knowing that, and knowing how much God loves me, I want to live to please Him. If He tells me to live a certain way, I want to make Him smile by living that way. When He tells me I should stay away from something, I want to stay away because I love Him and don’t want to grieve Him. I want to live up to His loving expectations. But even when I don’t, He doesn’t disown me. He might discipline me. He is always there to hear my apologies, and He never holds a grudge. The great news about God is that, unlike me, He is a perfect Father. He longs to relate to you. He wants to hear from you regularly in prayer, and He is always there to really listen when you speak. He also wants you to listen to Him when He speaks.
What I have noticed, though, is that often when we get too busy to spend time with God, we begin to feel distant. Realize that if you are at a distance from God, He hasn’t moved. Make sure that you are regularly relating to your Father in heaven by talking, listening and obeying His Will.
2. Relating To Our Brothers and Sisters
The second part of our Christian family relationships is the ones we have with our brothers and sisters. Once again, the idea of “Koinonia” is right at the heart of how we have to relate to one another. We need to share ourselves, our time, our blessings from our Heavenly Father, the things that are going on in our lives, they all get shared among the family. (Read Acts 2:42-47) That early church was so captivated by God’s love for them that it literally overflowed into each other’s lives. That’s the way it is when you have a close relationship with your heavenly Father. It makes you closer to your brothers and sisters in Christ. As a matter of fact, in I John 3, the apostle said that there are two main ways to tell if somebody is a part of the family of God. First of all, He said that someone who is a part of the family will do what the Father says to do. The second way that you can tell if someone is part of the family is if they love their brothers and sisters in Christ.
In our small group last Sunday night we were going around sharing prayer requests, and someone just wanted to offer a prayer of thanksgiving for this great and loving church. What a great testimony it is to hear people who are excited about how loving their church is. This church really is great at loving. I see a lot of genuine fellowship going on Sundays as people laugh and share together. Many of you are involved in one another’s lives throughout the week, you get together and pray with one another. When we have a family member who is in difficulty, there are those who surround them and help out. Sometimes it means bringing in meals, or watching kids, or even helping out financially. Folks, that is “koinonia.”
For those of you who have been here a while, you are very familiar that several years back there was some intense family strife in this church. Disagreements arose, and 17 or 18 years ago there was a family split. When that happened, New Life Community Church was begun. As with any family split, that was a very painful experience. Nobody can hurt you like members of your own family. I have to tell you, it was great to see people from Nashville Christian Church and New Life Community Church working side by side to cut and split firewood for people in the community who need it for winter heat. Now I wasn’t here, so I can’t speak to what happened. I know from my own experience that those type of things are incredibly painful. But there is a sense in which we can rejoice today because of what God has done through that experience. There are now two churches serving in the Nashville Community. This morning somewhere between 600 and 700 people will gather between these two churches. Our Heavenly Father is doing great things through both congregations, and the fact of the matter is, that if we both continue to grow closer to Him, we will grow closer to one another. Thank God for His mercy, that He keeps on working and keeps on loving even when we struggle to follow Him.
Now I want to challenge you this morning to give yourself more diligently to developing these family relationships. With God, don’t neglect the opportunities you have to listen to and speak with Him. Read His Word regularly. Pray without ceasing, while you’re driving or showering or getting ready for bed at night. Make sure to live in intimate fellowship with God, a heavenly Father that loves you and longs to relate to you every moment of the day.
Secondly, deepen your relationships with your brothers and sisters in Christ. The truth is, you are going to be spending eternity with these people, so you might as well learn to like them now. Invest yourself in others. Get involved in a LIFE class or small group. Get with a ministry team to serve with some of your brothers and sisters. Enjoy your family! Not only that, but thank God for surrounding you with others who love Him and desire to serve Him.
