“How to Deal with the Way I Feel” part 4 (Always on Top of Anger)
Brian A. Moon
In the spring of 1894, the Baltimore Orioles came to Boston to play a routine baseball game. But what happened that day was anything but routine. The Orioles’ John McGraw got into a fight with the Boston third baseman. Within minutes all the players from both teams had joined in the brawl. The warfare quickly spread to the grandstands. Among the fans the conflict went from bad to worse. Someone set fire to the stands and the entire ballpark burned to the ground. Not only that, but the fire spread to 107 other Boston buildings as well.
It is amazing how out of hand things can get when we get angry. In a US NEWS and WORLD REPORTS article I read this:
From road rage to fights in sporting events anger is the most destructive of all human emotions!
Each of us have our own little stories that we could come up and tell about how we have blown our tops and reacted in anger. We all have faced things that have made us angry and full of rage. Life is just that way, we want things our way, we are not patient people and anything that keeps us from the pursuit of happiness causes our blood to boil.
The other day I was in my office and something was not going right, I could not get this document to print for about the 300th time. I have this bad habit though of stomping my feet and tossing things around my office when stuff doesn’t work and on this day my wife was in the room and she said to me, “Do you think anyone can hear you when you do that?” As I sat and thought about that I had to laugh because I can just imagine what it sounds like from somewhere else in the building… “Oh, don’t mind that banging and thumping, that is just our pastor”
The bad thing about anger however is that when we react in anger we always regret it, we never act out in anger and in the long run come out better for our outburst. Feelings get hurt, relationships get damaged, conflicts begin, and we usually look very foolish. Have you ever seen someone get really mad, it is so foolish looking, you are almost embarrassed for them sometimes. So how do we always stay on top of anger? What can we do to keep our anger in check and not spewing out on other people? The Bible has a verse that I would like to share with you that might get us going in the right direction.
1 John 3:10 “But even if we don’t feel at ease, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.” CEV
Underline the words “greater than our feelings”
You can try to go to some anger management course that teaches you how to manage your feelings, but only God is GREATER than your feelings. For us to be “Always on Top of Anger” we must look to God as our source of strength and self-control, and we must begin by figuring out:
What is causing the problem?
Recently in this series we talked about stress and how to have success over it, and anger is a lot like it.
Before we can be on top of it we must first figure out what is causing us to get angry. Ben Franklin once said, “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” Getting angry at things from time to time is just life, someone bumps into you while walking in the mall and you might get a little mad but after a second or two you are back to normal. Sometimes we can limit the amount of anger in our lives by simply avoiding certain things that make us mad. If you know that large crowds pushing and shoving to get somewhere at the same time makes you mad then don’t go to Busch Gardens on the Weekends. But, for most of us there is a deeper issue at work when it comes to our anger. When you react out of anger, or you carry it around with you for long periods of time, you have grudges and want to get back at people, it is never just because one isolated incident made you mad.
Anger is something that if you don’t stay on top of, will build and build until every little thing that goes wrong will send you into a blind rage. Also much like stress, our hearts play a role in being “Always on Top of Anger” If you are having some anger issues in your life, you are constantly dealing with getting mad and losing your temper then may I suggest you look at the condition of your heart.
The first heart condition that contributes to anger is: selfishness, the attitude of its all about me.
James 4:1 “Why do you fight and argue with each other? Isn’t it because you are full of selfish desires…” CEV
Circle the words “fight and argue” and the word “selfish”
When we think that the world revolves around us and that everyone else is just in the way of us getting what we want done, It is always going to bread anger because the world does not work that way, it is not about just you. When other people get in our way, or they cut us off driving, or they are a little slower handing us our change than we like, or they do not respond in a manner that we like we get angry. This is all because of the selfishness that sits just below the surface in our hearts. When we are selfish we are going to get angry and react out of that anger. To “Always be on Top of Anger” we must get rid of this selfishness.
James 3:16 “Whenever people are jealous or selfish, they cause trouble and do all sorts of cruel things.” CEV
The other heart condition we must watch out for is pride, the attitude of I am better than them.
The following is an actual transcript from a radio transmission between a US Navy vessel and the Canadians off the coast of Newfoundland in 1995.
Canadians: please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.
Americans: recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid collision.
Canadians: negative, you will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.
Americans: this is the Captain of the US Navy ship, I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: negative. I say again, you will have to divert your course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER, USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST IN THE US FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPAINIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFTEY OF THIS SHIP AND ITS ESCORT VESSELS.
Canadians: We’re a lighthouse, you’re call…
When we have pride in our hearts we automatically assume that we are better than anyone else, and this will lead to anger in your life. Not only will this lead to anger in your life, but pride will trick you into thinking that you should hold onto your anger.
Listen to what God says about this though:
Ephesians 4:26 – 27 “If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry – get over it quickly…” TLB
Circle the words “get over it quickly”
When we have pride we hold onto anger and do the opposite of what this verse says, that is why we have to check our hearts for pride before we can “Always be on Top of Anger.” After we have identified the problem we can move on to the next step and that is to:
Stop and R.E.L.A.X.
Doctors from Coral Gables, Fla., compared the efficiency of the heart’s pumping action in 18 men with coronary artery disease to nine healthy controls. Each of the study participants underwent one physical stress test (riding an exercise bicycle) and three mental stress tests (doing math problems in their heads, recalling a recent incident that had made them very angry, and giving a short speech to defend themselves against a hypothetical charge of shoplifting). Using sophisticated X-ray techniques, the doctors took pictures of the subjects’ hearts in action during these tests. For all the subjects, anger reduced the amount of blood that the heart pumped to body tissues more than the other tests, but this was especially true for those who had heart disease. Why anger is so much more potent than fear or mental stress is anybody’s guess. But until we see more research on this subject, it couldn’t hurt to count to 10 before you blow your stack.
The medical community is finally coming up with the same advice God gave us thousands of years ago.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Don’t be quick-tempered – that is being a fool.” TLB
When we are getting angry we need to stop and R.E.L.A.X. which is a nice acronym for: Release your anger to God, Express thanks to God, Let God come and work, Accept what he says, and eXpect him to take away your anger.
The first thing you should do is:
Release your anger to God.
1 Peter 5:7 “Turn all your troubles over to him, because he cares for you and is watching over you.” WE
Give your anger to God don’t keep it inside of you to build up. 2,000 years ago God sent his only Son, Jesus Christ, to this earth to take all our anger, and sin upon himself and then die on a cross so that we can be set free from things like anger and sin. You can “Always be on Top of Anger” if you release that anger and rage over to God. Next you should
Express thanks to God.
Philippians 4:4 “Always be glad for what the Lord has done, I will say it again, be glad.” WE
Circle the words “Always be glad”
God has given us the ability to “Always be on Top of Anger” because he was willing to take all the stuff that is wrong with the world upon himself. He sent Jesus to right all the wrongs, and to give us the power we need to be free from wrong things in the world like anger. Because of this we should be glad and thank God for all that he has done, in doing this we begin the process of walking away from our anger.
The third thing we should do is:
Let God come and work.
Romans 12:19 “Dear friends, don’t try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says, ‘I am the one to take revenge and pay them back."’ CEV
When someone makes you angry, when some situation comes along and you feel like fighting back, don’t!
Let God come and work in the situation, he says “Let me handle the revenge factor, you just cool of and don’t make the situation worse.” Next we should:
Accept what he says.
1 Peter 3:9 “Not giving back evil for evil, or curse for curse, but in place of cursing, blessing; because this is the purpose of God for you that you may have a heritage of blessing.” BBE
God wants to bless you when you are faced with an angry situation, but we must accept what he says as true! Otherwise we will do exactly what that verse says not to do, we will repay evil for evil because we think God will not do what he says he will do. Accept what he says!!! The final thing we should do in R.E.L.A.X.ing is:
eXpect God to take away your anger.
When we release our anger to God, express our thanks to God, let him come and work, and accept what he says then we should also expect God to do what he says he will. God will come and help keep you “Always on top of Anger” but we have to have faith that he can and will do this. If we say to ourselves, “God is not going to take away my anger, he can’t do that, I need something more practical” then we are right… God won’t come help us because we doubt that he is able, and we reject his gift. The final thing that we must do may sound funny, but it is the hardest thing to do…
Exchange grace for rage
The word grace means this: to have mercy, to pardon, and an undeserved act of kindness. The word rage means: violent and uncontrolled anger, and a fit of violent wrath. Rage is the natural human response when we are wronged, hurt, or mistreated. Grace however is God’s response to all the times we have wronged, hurt, and mistreated him. Grace is what he displayed for all the world to see on the cross where his Son Jesus Christ died. The wrath and rage of God was poured out on Jesus not you and me, and this is the response that he demands from us if we are to “Always be on Top of Anger.”
Matthew 6:14 – 15 “If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” CEV
When people make you angry and you feel rage raising in your heart remember what God did for you, he exchanged grace for rage! God offers us the ability to “Always be on Top of Anger” through a relationship with his Son, Jesus Christ and tonight you can begin this amazing relationship that will exchange grace for rage in your life. You can be forgiven of every sin, and given a gift of eternal life with God, along with the only true way to beat anger in our lives.
Prayer Time ----------
God we thank you for sending Jesus to this earth to help us “Always be on Top of Anger” and to always be on top of sin.
If you have never started a relationship with God through Jesus and tonight you need some help with anger and you need salvation for your soul; then cry out to God as best you know how and tell him that you are sorry for all those times that you have messed up and sinned. Ask him to come and save you and believe that he can. Ask God to give you help with anger and help to live a life that is pleasing to him. Tell him that you need him.
If that was you then in the Bible it says that God will give you the power to be saved and that you will spend forever with God one day.
God thank you for salvation, thank you for exchanging grace for rage and help us to do the same. Amen.
