“How to Deal with the Way I Feel” part 3 (Help for a Heartbreak)
Brian A. Moon
One time there was a famous newspaper reporter that phoned a story into his editor. The story was about an empty truck that had a blown tire and then had rolled down a hill and smashed into a home. The editor was unimpressed and told the reporter he didn’t want to run the story because it was not that big of a story. "I’m glad you’re taking this so calmly,” the reporter said, “It was your house.”
Tonight we continue looking at “How to Deal with the Way I Feel” and more specifically at where do we find “Help for a Heartbreak.” Pain, suffering, and heartbreak are familiar topic’s in our country today after the events of 9/11, but it doesn’t have to be something as big as a truck smashing our house to bits, or a terrorist attack to bring about feelings of heartbreak in our lives.
I can remember being a freshman in high school and trying out for the baseball team. I had played Little League for years and this was to be the crowning achievement in my young baseball career. It meant pride, and respect, and most importantly, girls… The try-outs were 2 weeks long and I felt pretty good about my chances for success. I never will forget sitting there on the dugout bench and listening to the names being read off for making the final cut. As they finished reading the names and mine was not called, I picked up my bag and headed for the gate with big tear drops in my eyes. It was just baseball, not some big life threatening thing, but it hurt, it was heartbreaking for me not to make the team.
Heartbreak can come from the loss of a loved one, like a grandmother, or even the loss of a cherished family pet. It can come from a boyfriend or girlfriend telling you those wonderful words, “I think we should just be friends.” Or you can experience heartbreak by people making fun of you, and being made to look foolish in front of others. From people letting you down to letting yourself down, heartbreak is seemingly around every corner of our lives waiting to jump out and rob us of our joy. And heartbreak doesn’t just happen to the bad people of the world, good people like you and me seem to experience heartbreak as much or more than those people who we think deserve to feel it. How to we handle heartbreak, where do we find help for it? When I did not make the baseball team I could have handled the situation in one of two ways, a way that was positive, or a way that was negative. I could have indulged myself in destructive things like getting high, or getting drunk somewhere, or I could use this heartbreak to make me a better person. But how is this done, how do we handle heartbreak in a way that makes us better people? Today there are people that there entire career is Grief counseling, they guide people in how to grieve and handle heartbreak, but there is one thing these people cannot offer.
These human counselors lack the ability to comfort from within. Sure they can offer you advice and comfort from the outside, but they cannot dive into the middle of our heart and give you peace that springs from right where you hurt. And it is not just counselors, no human being is capable of helping you hurt, right where you hurt, because they cannot feel exactly what you are feeling. People experience things in as many different ways as there are people, so only a higher source can know exactly how you hurt.
1 John 3:10 “But even if we don’t feel at ease, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.” CEV
Only God can crawl into the middle of your hurt and comfort you right where you are at. Only he knows everything and only he is greater than our feelings.
We think we are greater than our feelings, we try to suppress them and bury them deep within our hearts, but they eventually come back to haunt us again later in life. That is why when we experience heartbreak the only true help is from God, he is the only way to handle heartbreak in way that will make us better people. And the first thing he says to do is:
Let yourself hurt
Ecclesiastes 3:1 & 4 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” NIV
Circle the words “time for everything” and underline the words “weep and mourn”
When we experience heartbreak the first thing to find “Help for a Heartbreak” is to do what comes natural, to mourn, to cry, to be sad. If God knows everything, he knows what is best for us, and he says there is a time to cry, and mourn and allow yourself to hurt from a heartbreak. If he says it then it must be a key to finding help in these tough times.
In a recent sermon, well-known pastor Bill Hybels shared this story: A friend of mine has a brain-damaged daughter. Sometimes the sadness she feels over her daughter’s condition overwhelms her, as it did recently. She wrote me this letter and gave me permission to quote from it:
". . . I can hardly bear it sometimes. My most recent wave of grief came just last year before her sixteenth birthday. As the day approached, I found myself brooding over all the things that she would never be able to do. What did I do? What I’ve learned to do again and again: I did what I believe is the only thing to do to conquer grief, and that is to embrace it. . . I cried and cried and cried, and faced the truth of my grief head on."
You see people who face their feelings and express them freely begin the journey toward hope. God made us this way; he gave us the ability to cry for a reason. It is not an accident that humans have this ability, but rather a way for us to deal with our heartbreak.
When Jesus Christ, God’s own Son was on this earth 2,000 years ago showing us perfectly “How to Deal with the Way We Feel” he even cried and mourned when he had a heartbreak.
John 11:33 & 35 “Jesus saw her weeping, and he saw how the people with her were weeping also; his heart was touched, and he was deeply moved… Jesus wept.” TEV
People today seem to think that letting yourself hurt from heartbreak is not acceptable, but our best example of what to do did the exact opposite! Jesus cried and his heart was touch, that means he had a heartbreak and the first thing he did in response was to cry and allow himself to hurt. Many of you in this room tonight have some hidden pain and sorrow in your life, you have suppressed that hurt and not allowed yourself to mourn and cry as you should. As a result you might be struggling with some things in your life right now, maybe it is a bad temper, or some bad habit that you have picked up. But don’t allow a heartbreak to be a negative force in your life anymore, allow yourself to hurt and grieve and mourn. Being heartbroken is in fact not as bad a place to be in if we look at all that God wants to do for us when we are hurting to make us better people.
Psalm 10:14 “But you do see; you take notice of the trouble and the suffering and are always ready to help. The helpless commit themselves to you; you have always helped the needy.” TEV
Circle the words “always ready to help”
God is always ready to offer “Help for a Heartbreak” he is always ready to come and make our hurt into something beautiful. Jesus echo’s this when he says:
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” NRSV
An oyster is a gross little sea creature but it goes through an amazing process to produce one of the most beautiful things in the world. You see an oyster gets a little piece of dirt, or debris caught in its shell and it becomes infected. Out of this painful infection comes something beautiful, out if it grows a pearl.
And just like the oyster, when we go through a heartbreaking situation Jesus says I will come and make something beautiful out of it, I will comfort you.
That leads us right into the next thing we should realize when we are in need of help for a heartbreak… we should remember that there are,
Bigger and better things ahead
Have you ever thought that a heartbreak could lead to something bigger and better… probably not. Most of the time when we are going through something that causes us heartbreak we don’t really think that this is a positive thing we are feeling. But it can be, heartbreaking situations can be used to for bigger and better things ahead. Sports teams lose a heartbreaking game, and then they use that as the motivation for greatness in the future. Getting dumped by a guy or girl hurts like crazy and all you want is for that person to accept you until Mr. or Mrs. Right comes walking by. And death seems like the most heartbreaking of all things to go through until you consider that it was through Jesus Christ death that all of us sitting in this room tonight can have life with no end. God sent his Son, Jesus, to this earth as a regular human being like you and me only to let Him die on a cross. But this death gave us life, you see all those times that we mess up, all our shortcomings, all our sins, and even all our heartbreaks were taken care of through Jesus Christ death. He lived a perfect life, a life with no shortcomings, and now that life is offered to us if we accept it. Now just because you have Jesus life in you, just because you are saved, does not mean that you will never experience heartbreak, but it does mean this,
Romans 8:28 “And we are conscious that all things are working together for good to those who have love for God, and have been marked out by his purpose.” BBE
If Jesus is the leader of your life, you have a relationship with him, then ALL things, including heartbreak, will work out to be good and not bad. The painful situation that you are going through right now, will only serve to bring bigger and better things into your life. God has a plan for your life, and his plan is for good things to come from it! God doesn’t get any joy from people’s lives being filled with heartbreak, but he does get pleasure if that heartbreak leads to something that is bigger and better for your life. The Bible says that even “though he brings grief, he also shows compassion to the greatness of his unfailing love.” God loves you, and he has a love that will never let you down, even if we feel let down by God because we are experiencing some heartbreak it only serves to bring us bigger and better things.
Psalm 126:5 “Those who sow in tears, Shall reap in joy.” NKJV
Circle the words “reap in joy”
If you have ever planted tears then the ultimate help for heartbreak is in realizing that with God you will reap in joy. The final help for heartbreak is to:
Find a friend
Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball. Breaking baseball’s color barrier, he faced jeering crowds in every stadium.
While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. The fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered. Then, shortstop Pee Wee Reese came over and stood next to him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career. When you need help for a heartbreak do yourself a favor and find a friend to share the experience with. Allow yourself to hurt, remember that bigger and better things are ahead, but also find a Christian friend to help you with your pain. One of the ways that God offers comfort to those who are heartbroken is by sending a friend your way to give you heavenly hugs of understanding and love.
The Bible speaks to this when it says:
2 Corinthians 1:3 – 4 “Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! He is the Father who is compassionate and the God who gives comfort. He comforts us whenever we suffer. That is why whenever other people suffer, we are able to comfort them by using the same comfort we have received from God.” GOD’S WORD
God sends his comfort and love through other people who have experienced just what you are going through!
He orchestrates people into your life that can be a huge help in the healing process, but you have to accept it. Not only do you have to accept their gift of love and comfort, but you also have to accept God’s gift of love. If you have never started a relationship with God through his Son Jesus, then you have never accepted God’s gift of love. Jesus was sent to die for us, he was sent to pay the price for our sins, and raised from the grave to give us the ultimate help for heartbreak. But you must accept this gift of love to find true help for a heartbreak because it is only in the love of Jesus that every heartbreak is healed.
Isaiah 61:2 – 3 “He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the LORD’s favor has come… To all who mourn… he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.” NLT
Prayer Time -----------
God we thank you that Jesus is the best friend we could ever have when it comes to help for a heartbreak. Thank you for sending him so that we can have life. If you are here tonight and you need help for a heartbreak, you need Jesus Christ in your life and you have never asking him to come and save you then right now cry this out to God as best you know how. God come and save me. Thank you for sending Jesus to die for my sins and my heartbreak. Please wash them away and help me to live a life that is pleasing to you. Come and take over my life and give me help for my heartbreak. If that was you then in the Bible it says that God will give you the power to be saved and one day you will live with him forever. Thank you God for your gift of salvation and the love you pour out on us each and every day. Amen.
