Getting Along in the Family
Eric A. Snyder, Minister, Farwell Church of Christ
July 7, 2002
The story is told of a little boy sitting on his front steps with his face cradled in his hands, looking upset. His dad came home just then & asked him what was wrong. The little boy looked up & said, "Well, just between us, Dad, I’m having trouble getting along with your wife.
I recently heard a story about 3 elderly widows who lived together. One sister got up to go to bed, half way up the stairs she stopped and asked "was I going up or was I coming down"
One sister replied with hint of aggravation, "you were going up to bed."
A second sister headed into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich. Once in the kitchen she hollered back to her sister who was still down stairs; "what did I come in here for"
The sister responded again with a trace of irritation, "you went in to make yourself a sandwich" after which she said; "I’m so glad I am not as forgetful as the both of you are" as she knocked on the end table.
And then she got up and walked over to the door and said "Who is it?"
The family unity is the oldest unit of society. I don’t know if you’re like me but I really enjoy history. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t really care for the dates and numbers so much but I do like to look at the circumstances around historical events.
I have always found it interesting that society can change. Technology can change, countries can change, and new systems of government are created and put in the place of archaic ones.
I do not subscribe to evolution but everyone has to admit that at the very least we have developed. But through the test of time we have always some constants. Things that we could predict no matter what. One of these things is the family unit. How amazing that despite our humanity and irritation with one another we still have families in tact.
So today’s message is not really anything new, But it does give us a refresher course on how to treat people in our families. Be it immediate, extended, or our church family.
Our text today is Ephesians 4. And Paul is writing this passage to help people get along in God’s family. So I hope that you will consider 2 things this morning. How to be a better family member to those who are part of your family, and how to be a good family member in the family of God here At Farwell Church of Christ.
Ephesians 4:1-6 1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit-- just as you were called to one hope when you were called 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. .
Prayer
There is one body and one Spirit.
In the same way, you were called to the one hope of your calling.
There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all, through all, and in all.
God’s Family Values
God gives us some family values in this text that describes how He desires us to live our lives
Live in a way that is worthy of the calling.
First: Paul again refers to himself as a prisoner
He had been taken captive by Jesus and no longer was in control of his own life.
What we are speaking of here is something commonly referred to as “commitment”.
I can remember when I was younger and involved in a part time youth ministry in Niles Michigan. I was young and idealistic and like most young idealistic ministers I ran into a little snag in my ministry. I’m not going to tell you what happened but I will tell you that I was very disappointed in one of our leaders. And I began to think about whether I really wanted to spend my live in service to God through Ministry. Now the Niles Church was and is a good church but even in a good church sometimes things don’t always go the way that you want them to and I can honestly say I considered quitting. I was ready to walk away from it and find something else to do with my life.
Have you ever been there? Have you ever been so fed up with someone in your family that you were ready to throw in the towel? Have you ever been so frustrated with church that you were ready to back away and never go again?
Most of you would, I would venture to say all of you have experienced that before. Something is not going your way, You feel misunderstood, perhaps ignored, and you have been right on the edge of giving up. In fact some have given up. And you all know people who have stepped out.
They have abdicated their role as parent, they fled from their responsibilities as a spouse. Or they packed up the bags and said “I’ve had enough of the church” Perhaps some of you right now are having a hard time staying committed to your family or you church family. Or maybe you have even been placed in the awful position where you are asked to choose who your family is.
Anyway I went to see my grandfather. Because no one is a greater example of faithfulness to me than my grandparents. He has been married to my grandmother forever Almost 60 years. To me that’s impressive. He asked me how the church was doing and I told him that I had considered giving it up because of my frustration. I stayed in that ministry until I graduated college and found a full time ministry. But the one thing that my grandfather said to me was what got me through that event. And it has gotten me through a lot of rough times.
My grandfather look at me and said “Eric your going to make it through this, you know how I know?, It’s because you have ‘staying power’”
The ability to stick it out no matter what. Because you know that when God leads you through the storm, the other side is worth it.
What’s on the other side of your storm? What’s on the other side of your marital fight. What’s on the other side of your conflict with your kids or parents. What’s on the other side of your families tragedy? What’s on the other side of your struggles with others at church? What’s on the other side?
You know the truth is until my grandfather said that I never would have thought that I had this “staying power”
And there may be many of you here today who do not believe that you have that capacity. And because you don’t think you have the ability to stay strong your marriage is coming apart or your family is distant, or your church attendance is slipping. But the truth is there is a “staying power in all of us” we just have to decide what is the most important thing to us.
I was speaking with a friend this past week at breakfast and heard him say something like this, “How do we get the people to be committed?”
It is a question I have heard before and occasionally I have asked myself.
There is so much to do in any family and this is especially true in the church family .
Yet instead of working together we often – to avoid conflict – fail to work at all. We pack up and check out.
The truth is: there is sometimes conflict in the family…
There was certainly conflict in my family.
My parents were both divorced and them remarried to other people and the truth is, I blamed my step parents for my parents failed marriage. Even though one thing had nothing to do with the other.
For the first years of those marriages I created a lot of conflict in those relationships. And there was an unhealthy amount of tension in my family. I was one of those people who acted up simply to get attention. And I used my anger in destructive ways.
Even in church there are moments of anger and frustration. There are times of conflict in the body, but through it all It’s important to remember that what holds us together is mightier than what pulls us apart.
Let’s learn to get along here because some day we will live in mansions right along side one another.
Maybe we need to be reminded about whose calling it is to which we are called and that we belong to - His family - all of us.
Commitment is more caught – not taught. It builds slowly and unfortunately can be destroyed very quickly.
Let me say this and let me encourage you to hear this and burn it into your minds.
If what we enjoy today at FCC – the unity and oneness of purpose – if that ever shattered by a family fight we will have lost, and the effects will last for years.
Sometimes the consequences go on for decades.
Let us live in a way that is worthy…
Two steps:
Accepting one another in love
with all humility and gentleness, along with patience.
Maintain the unity of the Spirit.
Do your best
This is not easy.
We by nature are incompatible and competitive.
It’s hard for us at times.
Remember to do your best to be at peace with others…
Rom 12:16-18 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live in peace with all people.
By means of the bond of peace.
Seven Ingredients in God’s Super Glue.
One body
One Spirit
One hope of your calling
One Lord
One faith
One baptism
One God and Father of all, who is above all, through all, and in all
It’s for our own good and for our own power.
Barbara Brokhoff in Grapes Of Wrath Or Grace, writes about a man who tells of being on a bus tour in Rome which was led by a guide who spoke English. Their first stop was a basilica in a piazza which was surrounded by several lanes of relentless Roman traffic. After they were all safely dropped off, the group climbed the steps for a quick tour of the church. Then they spread out to board the bus, which was parked across the street from the church. The frantic guide shouted for the group to stay together. He hollered out to them, "You cross one by one; they hit you one by one. But if you cross together, they think you will hurt the car!" There is always much to be said for unity, particularly the unity of the Spirit.
The calling to which you have been called…
What will never change is the content which is the superglue of the kingdom of God. The mission of reaching out to the lost will never change and neither will our commitment to Jesus as Lord and Savior.
What must change is our methods – if we are going to have an opportunity to reach our friends and neighbors with the good news of Jesus Christ
Let me take a few minutes to tell you about how we are responding to God’s calling at FCC.
See the calling
Get Enthused enough to help!
Farwell Church of Christ will become the place that is "Helping People Find Their Way Home."
We are building a house for God’s people…
3 ways to can be more involved in what The Farwell Church
Celebration every Sunday
Become involved in a small group and meet other followers of Jesus who will care about you.
Become involved in an area of service, where you can offer your gifts talents and abilities.
Helping People Find Their Way Home - this is what we are about…
There is a story about the Special Olympics that were held in Seattle, Washington. Nine runners, all physically or mentally challenged, lined up at the starting line for the 100 yard dash. At the sound of the starting gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with the eagerness and joy to run the race, to the finish and win.
All started out good, except for one boy who stumbled. He turned over a couple of times and began to cry. The other eight runners heard the boy cry. They slowly turned around and paused Then they all turned and went back, every one of them. One girl with Down’s syndrome bent down and kissed the boy and said, “That will make it better.”
Then all nine of them linked arms and walked together to the finish line.
Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for 10 solid minutes.
Why did the runners finish like this? Because they all had the same heart. And they knew that the goal was to win.
But that the greater goal was to cross the finish line and it was better to do it together than to leave one behind, hurt and crying and alone.
Will you help?
I challenge to go to the next level of commitment.
Ellen
That’s what we’re all about. As families we need to grasp for our commitment level and be reminded of the unity that God has placed together.
If you need to make a commitment today to Join God’s family and become committed to Him we welcome you to come forward during this time today.
