Are you my mother?
Eric A. Snyder, Minister, Farwell Church of Christ
May 12, 2002
Have you heard about the next Survivor show they have planned?
Six men will be dropped off on an island with 1 van and 4 kids for 6 weeks. Each kid plays two sports and takes music or dance lessons. There’s no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, and do laundry.
The men have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. But there’s only one TV between them and no remote control.
They must be able to get a four year old to eat green beans. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves while driving or while making lunches.
They’ll be judged on how well they can make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one magic marker. The winner gets voted off of the island and gets his old job back!
Today we pay honor to all those ladies who know that being a mom is an adventure, where you not only survive, but thrive. God has blessed them with children. What an awesome responsibility. The Bible describes this virtuous mother and wife in Proverbs 31.
Peggy Wehmyer, Religion Correspondent for ABC News says, “A Positive mom is the most powerful weapon against the culture of despair and cynicism that assaults our children.”
For some of you this is a difficult weekend, it’s tough for you to come to church, you’ve prayed for a child but God’s answer has seemed to be no, or maybe you’ve experienced the pain of losing your mom or a child, and the memories are all consuming on a day like today. Maybe years ago you chose to end a pregnancy and Satan haunts you over something that you’ve repented of and that God has forgiven. Others of you just feel inadequate. Others are presently feeling incredible fulfillment from being a mom. Today I want to encourage all of you and remind the rest of us, of how important moms are.
Pouring your life into your children is a worthy calling.
The Washington Times reported on a recent survey released last year by the nonpartisan public policy group Public Agenda, which revealed that 80 percent of mothers between the ages of 18 and 29 would rather stay home and take care of their children than work full time. (quoted in Focus on the Family’s Citizen Issues Alert, 10/24/00)
Many single moms would give anything in the world to be able to stay home with their children, but it’s just not possible. However, when a mom is able to make that decision to dedicate her life to the home front, we ought to celebrate her as a champion of family values.
Susie Case was a Harvard Business School Graduate who worked on Wall Street as an Equity Analyst who followed computer stocks. She left her job in 1989 to start a family, saying that her relationship with God and her family had to take a priority.
She admitted, "It’s hard for me to go to Harvard reunions because I worry that [my classmates] think I squandered the exceptional opportunity I had."
But then she said this: "However, the sacrifices are worth it because relationships without regret are my best investment."
Relationships without regret! Moms who take good care of their families, whether they work outside the home or not, ought to be celebrated for the nurturing environment they provide.
Some of you have heard of Tony Campolo. Tony has spent much of his life traveling around the world speaking at Christian gatherings. His wife, Peggy, stayed at home and chose to pour her life into raising their two children, Bart and Lisa. Years ago when Peggy Campolo would occasionally travel with Tony, she found herself in conversations with some of the most powerful, impressive, sophisticated women in the world. Sometimes she would feel intimidated and question her own self worth.
Tony said to her, "Honey, why don’t you think of something you can say when you meet people, so they’ll know that you value what you’re doing and you think it’s important?"
Not long thereafter, they were at a party. A woman said to Peggy in a rather condescending tone, "And, dear what is it that you do?" Tony said he heard his wife respond, "I am nurturing two Homo Sapiens into the dominant value of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might become instruments of social transformation to turn the earth into the eschatological utopia which God has envisioned from the beginning of time. What do you do?"
The woman replied, "I’m just a physicist. I’m just trying to discover a cure for cancer."
Helen M. Young wrote in her book Children Won’t Wait, "There will be a time when there will be no slamming of doors, no toys on the stairs, no childhood quarrels, no fingerprints on the wallpaper. Then may I look back with joy and not regret. God, give me wisdom to see that today is my day with my children. That there is no unimportant moment in their lives. May I know that no other career is so precious, no other work so rewarding, no other task so urgent. May I not defer it nor neglect it, but by the Spirit accept it gladly, joyously, and by Thy grace realize that the time is short and my time is now, for children won’t wait.”
Moms, you are valuable.
Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.
- Anon
My mother’s influence in molding my character was conspicuous. She forced me to learn daily of chapters of the bible by heart. To that discipline and patient, accurate resolve I owe not only much of my general power of taking pains, but the best part of my taste for literature.
- John Ruskin
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
- Lincoln
Mom’s do so much that it is not possible to name them all in on one day.
But I would like to point out 3 key things mothers do for their children.
Proverbs 31:26 describes a woman who is great it says that “When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instruction”
Mothers help us find acceptance in the home
It’s refreshing to know that our mothers will always accept us.
I was a very obnoxious child. I never really got into too much trouble but I was always doing things to embarrass my family. I remember one time we went to a grocery store and there was a family there that didn’t look like me. And I remember saying to my mom “What’s wrong with those people” “are they poor mom”. My mother remembers the experience and talks about how embarrassed she was.
A few years later she started embarrassing me. I would bring girls over and she always seemed to know the location of all my bath pictures.
Even though we embarrass our mothers, even though we do things that would make them want to distance themselves from us, they still accept us.
Keith Hernandez is one of baseball’s top players. He is a lifetime .300 hitter who has won numerous Golden Glove awards for excellence in fielding. He’s won a batting championship for having the highest average, the Most Valuable Player award in his league, and even the World Series. Yet with all his accomplishments, he has missed out on something crucially important to him -- his father’s acceptance and recognition that what he has accomplished is valuable. Listen to what he had to say in a very candid interview about his relationship with his father: "One day Keith asked his father, ’Dad, I have a lifetime 300 batting average. What more do you want?’ His father replied, ’But someday you’re going to look back and say, "I could have done more."’"
While our mothers accept us they also encourage us to be the best we can possibly be.
When Thomas A. Edison was a child his teacher sent him home with a note which said, ’Your child is dumb. We can’t do anything for him.’ Mrs. Edison wrote back, ’You do not understand my boy. I will teach him myself’.
Mothers who understand and nurture their children are a credit to what God is talking about in Proverbs 31
But moms do more than offer acceptance.
2. Mothers help us find our identity in a competitive world
In the book “are you my mother” the author Paul Eastman tells a story about a bird that feels her egg about to hatch, so she sets off to find some food. While she is gone the egg hatches and the chic immediately begins to look for it’s mother. The chic goes to a cow, a dog, a cat and a bunch of other animals and machines. Eventually the bird ends up back in the nest and is fed when the mother bird returns.
We all look for our identity from our mother. We look for someone who looks roughly like us. The details might not be the same but we find our identity from the people who nurture shape and mold our lives.
It is in the home that we first develop our sense of who we are. Every child has aright to a secure, happy home life. Every child has a right to the love and nurture of his or her parents.
In relation to identity is the question of self-worth. Dr. James Dobson, author of several excellent books on raising children cautions us that, “A child can learn to doubt his worth at home even when he is deeply loved by his parents! Destructive ideas find their way into his thinking process, leading him to conclude that he is ugly or incredibly stupid or that he has already proved himself to be a hopeless failure in life.”
The famous Psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Adler had an experience when a young boy, he got off to a bad start in arithmetic and his teacher became convinced that he was “dumb in mathematics.” The teacher then advised the parents of this “fact” and told them not to expect too much of him. They too were convinced. Alder passively accepted the evaluation they had placed upon him. And his grades in arithmetic proved they had been correct. One day, however, he had a sudden flash of insight and thought he saw how to work a problem the teacher had put on the board.
None of the other students could solve. He told the teacher that he knew the answer. She and the whole class laughed. Then he became indignant, went to the blackboard, and worked out the problem much to their amazement. He then realized that he could understand arithmetic. He felt a new confidence in his ability, and went on to become a good math student.
We need to encourage our children. We need not only to surround them with love but we need to help them feel competent as people.
3. Mothers help us find belonging in God’s kingdom
Susannah Wesley, mother of John Wesley spent one hour each day praying for her 17 children. In addition, she took each child aside for a full hour every week to discuss spiritual matters. Mothers need to help their children find God’s design for their children’s life
G. Campbell Morgan had four sons, and all became ministers of the Gospel. At a family reunion, he was asked, by a reporter “Which of the Morgans was the greatest preacher? The father replied, “Mother!”
Mothers are essential t the work of God being done and carried out in society. They are the encouragers who help us discover who we are and what God wants us to become.
Ellen
Being a parent is all about sacrifice. Today God wants to remind you of His sacrifice. God is the ultimate parent and we hope our mothers shape our identity and help us find our place in God’s kingdom. Though your mother birthed you God created you.
Some of you have been looking for acceptance and identity all of your lives. You, like the little bird have wandered all over the dangerous world asking “Are you my mother” Are you my parent
God wants to tell you today. That he is everyone’s eternal spiritual parent and we really desire that spiritual nurturing we receive from him. So if you want to meet your father, if you are looking for acceptance we know that you will find it in God and we hope you feel accepted here.
Don’t waste another day searching for your identity without God in your life, if you need to make a choice to live every day with God as your father we invite you to come as we stand and sing.
