There are few things that can hurt people like broken marriages. In fact, there are few things that can hurt a church like broken marriages. On the other hand, few things bring joy like a warm loving home built on God’s Word, and few things give strength to the church like warm loving homes built on God’s Word.
We have heard a lot about marriage here in the past few months. Ken Snell started our summer series talking about helping divorced people. Then Steve Lusk gave us four lessons on building marriage God’s way. Recently in Dalton, GA several of us went to the Bracheen and Falkner Marriage Enrichment Seminar.
Speaking of marriages, lots of marriages have occurred in our family in the past few months and I’m performing another one in about 2 weeks. Jenny’s sister Becky is getting married. Marriage is all around us. It is one of the basic God designed institutions in the world. Home and church are two biggies in the Bible.
Sadly, today we hear of nearly as many divorces as we do marriages. A wedding is easy, a marriage is not. God’s word has a lot to say about marriage. It also speaks about divorce, though not nearly as much. I like that. God focuses a whole lot more on what he wants us to have in a marriage that on how to handle a divorce. When God speaks about divorce, it is always a negative matter. No one ever celebrates a divorce in the Bible. Weddings on the other hand are big celebrations.
When we come to the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians we find what someone has called the most negative chapter on marriage in the Bible. Actually, it is a chapter not against marriage, but for singleness. This chapter could be called a theology of the single life in a world where most people get married. There are at least eight sentences in this chapter that argue for the benefits of the single life and that see marriage as a concession. The statements in verses 26 and 29 seem key to understanding this. The present distress makes marriage difficult.
I wonder what that distress was? One faint possibility could have been the high divorce rate of Corinth. That was a reality, you know. One writing that was discovered from the New Testament period from Corinth is from a woman who counted her age by the number of husbands she had had. We see in chapter 5 and 6 that the church has terrible sexual sin problems. Do you think divorce is a problem today? Corinth had it much worse. Perhaps Paul is thinking about these things when he writes this. Paul knew that marriage in such an environment would be difficult at best, and he never speaks negatively about marriage in other letters.
Someone once told me that the number one cause of divorce is marriage. When we look at the reasons some people get married, it is easy to understand how divorce is so common.
Notice some of the reasons for marriage in this chapter.
Verse 2 because of fornication
Verse 8 because of lack of self control
Verse 8 because it is better to marry than to burn with passion
Verse 36 to keep from acting unbecomingly
It almost sounds like these Corinthians have been watching too much T.V.
But does marriage solve the problems of fornication, lack of self control and burning with passion? Not if one keeps feeding those flames outside of their marriage. God’s word indicates that marriage can help, but it also warns those who are married to keep themselves pure. (i.e. Heb. 13: 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.)
So what can be done to help us have better marriages? Paul addresses adults here in Corinth, but to really help marriages, we need to start instructing our children in the ways and will of God for Christian homes. A great place to start is in the Old Testament.
Proverbs 5-7 records the words of a father to his son about sexual purity and delighting in his own wife and avoiding the adulteress. Moms and Dads, you would do well to take your sons and daughters and read these chapters together and discuss the will of God for your children’s sexual purity. Pray together about these things. Don’t you think that God knows what is going on here? Talk to him about it in prayer with your kids. Dads may need more help in this than moms. Dads, be careful that you speak positively about this with your children. Be gentle and honest. Take your lead from the Word of God in Proverbs. Kids today get their sexual information from all the wrong sources. God has plenty to say about the blessings and dangers of sexual experience. And any parent today who is not praying with their children and sharing God’s perspective on the subject of sex is doing their child a terrible spiritual disservice. Preteen and teen kids have a wealth of information today on these things, but many are terribly ignorant of God’s word on the subject! Dads particularly, listen to me now. You are responsible before God to train up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Eph. 6:4. Don’t dump this job on Mom. Dads need to pray with their kids and share their faith with them. Mom can coach you if you need it. In fact, my wife, Jenny has been my best reference for help in this matter. She has always been able to communicate better than me. I’ve been very blessed to have such a wonderful Christian wife and mother for my kids and I praise God for her.
Do any of you men here remember being 15? Probably most of us knew just enough about females to be dangerous. I love my dad, and he is still my hero today, but I don’t remember him telling me about girls and sex. I had some cousins, 3 of which are dead now, two of them were sexually active by their 15th birthday. They all went to church and could all name the books of the Bible and probably tell you a lot of Bible facts, but I don’t believe their dads prayed with them and talked with them about the dangers they faced every day in school and after school with sexual temptation. Dad’s ignoring the need here is dangerous. It is a recipe for miserable lives with no self-control for your children. When I was 15 I heard David Sain speak at a youth rally in Florence, Alabama. He addressed sex in the clearest and most biblical way I had ever heard, sharing openly about how God designed this for husbands and wives and that he and his wife were blessed by it and how he loved to make love with his wife. He said plainly that she was his and he was hers and no one else had any right to either of them in this way. He said God designed sex for that, and it is wonderful in marriage. Than he made Proverbs 5-7 come to life.
I remember that some adults were mad at Brother Sain for speaking so openly. But I was thankful. I still am. When Jenny and I married I was a virgin, partly because of his words from God’s word. He was the first Christian to show me how wonderful this was for just husband and wife and yet how important it was to wait till marriage and keep it in marriage. He made me see that what God wants for me are actually what is best for me anyway and the greatest blessing to my life.
Young people, listen to me. The greatest passion you can develop is a passion for knowing and loving God. He will bless your life with love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Your body will be your servant and not your master. The Holy Spirit will guard and guide your ways. You will do battle with the fleshly temptations and God will give you victory. You will live in such a way that when you look back on your life there will be no regrets.
Listen to me now. If you marry, and most of you will. Marry someone who will help you and your children get to heaven. That means you need to marry the strongest Christian you can find who will have you. And you need to be the strongest Christian you can be for your husband or wife.
Guys, look for someone who acts and talks and walks and dresses like Jesus is Lord and they know it. Girls, look for someone who you would like to see taking care of your children if you die.
If you can’t find anyone who fits the bill, just remember 1 Cor 7. Being single is just as Christian as being married.
