What it takes to be a Perfect Person
Last summer my wife and I visited NYC for our wedding anniversary. We stayed in Times Square which turned out to be both busy and safe. One of the most noticeable things to me in Times Square and in the whole of New York was that there were no dented Taxi Cabs. Not one. Not a scratch. Not even a minor blemish. Every cab we saw was clean and shiny.
It didn’t used to be that way. A couple of decades ago Times Square was seedy, run down, and a pretty dangerous place. What mad the difference. Well, I’m told that about 10 years ago the decision was made to catch the little things in the area. The vagrants, the graffiti, and the little problems were all cleaned up. When they did all the big problems like robberies and muggings started to go away too.
Control the minor evils and you will control the major evils at least that is the theory and it worked in NYC!
Big Lions vs. Little Foxes
Yet most of the focus goes on the big lions in our struggle to live rightly before God. Even Peter describes Satan as a vicious lion that seeking to devour and destroy us. It is a very powerful picture of the one who wants to tear us away from presence of God.
"Be on your guard and stay awake. Your enemy, the devil, is like a roaring lion, sneaking around to find someone to attack."
1 Peter 5:8
This hungry roaring lion is the image we have when we hunker down and defend ourselves from the attacks of the enemy. But it is not always the roaring lion that eats us up. In the Song of Solomon King Solomon tells of a marriage relationship that is like a fruitful vineyard. But then he warns us that it is the "little foxes" that nibble us to death.
"Our vineyards are in blossom; we must catch the little foxes that destroy the vineyards."
Song of Solomon 2:15
The lion of adultery can certainly destroy a marriage. But the "little foxes" of snide remarks, sarcastic comments, cynical observations, angry blasts, and cool responses gut the inside of a relationship and leave it a dry dusty shell. The words that come out of the mouth can not only eviscerate a marriage, they can also pummel a church leadership or ruin a students reputation.
James tells us in the third chapter of his letter that the most dangerous tool of destruction is the human tongue. In fact, he says that anybody that learns to control it has become a perfect person.
The word "perfect" doesn’t mean "without flaw" (whew!). It speaks of maturity, wholeness and completion as a person. The man or woman that has their tongue in check and under submission is a person who has become a complete and balanced person. He gives us several reasons that this is so important.
What you say has formidable power
Jam 3:3-4 CEV By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions. It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction.
Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” – lied. This is simply not true. Words do hurt. They can be very damaging or encouraging. It just depends on what we say and how we say it.
That’s why James compares the tongue to the bit in the horse’s mouth or the rudder of boat. It may be small but it is powerful. I have been preaching and teaching for over 30 years and I have found that words are very powerful. Lives are changed and people are transformed by the few words of an ineffective speaker as the Spirit of God infuses them with life.
There is a second reason we need to watch the words in our life.
What you say can set your life on fire
Jam 3:6 CEV The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person’s entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself.
What comes out of the mouth is an untamable beast. It’s like a wild animal – impossible to control. It is a forest fire that is beyond the ability of anyone to harness.
When I worked in summer camp (many years ago) I ran a floor scrubber. It was powerful and fun unless you locked the power on and then got a trifle relaxed. It was easy to set the whole thing spinning around and around in a circle with the handle coming at you at about 300 miles per hour. Kinda like a Battle Bot let loose in the dining hall. Out of control. That’s the tongue.
James gives another reason for the importance controlling your speech.
What you say takes on a life of its own
Jam 3:8 CEV But our tongues get out of control. They are restless and evil, and always spreading deadly poison.
The tongue is restless and evil. You only control your speech one time – when it’s formed and spoken – never again. Once a word is spoken it CANNOT be recalled. The damage is done and can never be undone.
One of my favorite paintings is by Rockwell – It’s call “Gossip” and pictures the faces of people who pass on a story one to another. It is a revealing painting.
It is important to catch the little foxes. There is another reason James gives.
What you say can be ruined by what you say
Jam 3:9-10 CEV My dear friends, with our tongues we speak both praises and curses. We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn’t right.
Jam 3:11-12 CEV Can clean water and dirty water both flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree produce olives or a grapevine produce figs? Does fresh water come from a well full of salt water?
Good speech is trashed by filthy language. Words are good or bad – never both. It is clear that water is pure or dirty – never both at the same time. You can’t be a person of character and class and have filthy language, swearing and cussing, outrageous flirting, dirty jokes, crudity and tasteless humor.
What you say reveals the inner thoughts of your heart
Jam 3:14-16 CEV But if your heart is full of bitter jealousy and selfishness, don’t brag or lie to cover up the truth. That kind of wisdom doesn’t come from above. It is earthly and selfish and comes from the devil himself.
What you say reveals the inner thoughts of your heart. Jesus put it this way:
Mat 12:34 CEV You are a bunch of evil snakes, so how can you say anything good? Your words show what is in your hearts.
It exposes your character and undresses your soul. Words reveal you in the most intimate and open way – either as good and kind or base and evil.
So, how do you catch the little foxes? How do you control your speech?
First: Guard your Heart
First the Defense:
Filter the Bad Stuff
Garbage In Garbage Out. You’ve heard the saying. It’s important that you watch your eye ports and your ear ports. You have to filter out the bad stuff. To keep bad stuff out of your heart and mind is critical.
I am appalled by what is on our TV sets today. Shows like South Park today and Bevis and Butthead yesterday. Even well written shows like “Friends” which are obsessed with sexual innuendo’s and humor. Watch the stuff that comes on your computer. I’m going to post a page linked to our website this week that tells you how to find and use spam blockers and web site blockers.
And you fellows should have your spouse hold the password! Don’t be proud and don’t be stupid… When a preacher says to his congregation “You don’t have to worry about me…” You know what? I worry about him – a lot!
Filter the stuff out first and then…
Rebuke and Confront the bad stuff when it can’t be filtered or you get caught off guard.
When you are watching TV and something with bad stuff comes on – switch the channel with a comment as to why you don’t accept that kind of stuff. That is especially important for you parents. Your kids need to hear your views on unacceptable language and behavior.
So what do you do when you get caught off guard? Someone tells a dirty joke and you laugh. Humor is connect to surprise and when someone tells an off color story sometimes you laugh in spite of your self. Don’t repeat it and don’t entertain it. Martin Luther said that you can’t stop a bird from landing on your head but you can stop him from making a nest.
Finally, Confess and ask God’s Forgiveness when you fail to filter the bad stuff out
No one has a perfect defense – especially not in our world. You will fail. You will stumble. But, you can also get a lot better! Especially if you are honest with God and ask for his help.
Now for the offense
Put Good Stuff In
Phi 4:8 CEV Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.
Put into your mind what is good and right. Think on these things and it will be reflected by your speech. Read good books – look for good authors. Read your Bible. Go to good movies (Yes, there are a few!)
Second: Guard your Tongue
First the Defense:
Stop before you say something and think about what you say… Practice these responses. In fact repeat after me: “Let me think about that!” and “I need to pray about that!”
I especially like to use the last phrase when some religious type is questioning me on something. Rather than getting mad at them I just out spiritualize them and tell them that I have to pray about it!
And here are a couple of rules to give you guidance: Never put on paper or in email anything you aren’t willing for the world to read out loud on CNN. Never say anything about someone you aren’t willing to say to them and then do it with love and respect.
Now the offense:
Eph 5:4 “Don’t use dirty or foolish or filthy words. Instead, say how thankful you are.”
It’s really very simple. You can’t just stop saying bad things… You have to become a Thoughtful and Thankful person of God. Make sure that when people meet you they are glad they did.
As servants of God my hope is that the Meridian Christian Church becomes known throughout the community for being a people of thoughtfulness and thankfulness. That is what will make the difference in them listening to us or blowing us off when we speak of the good news of Jesus.
Let’s close with prayer…
