(Note: The title for this message is from a Rick Warren series; however the sermon itself is original)
In the 1960’s, during the Vietnam War, a new term was coined to describe soldiers who had been injured in battle, but who were still able to walk without assistance. They were called the "walking wounded". Originally, the term referred to physical wounds, but it soon entered the popular culture as a description of those who were suffering from emotional and psychological trauma. Many Vietnam veterans returned home to jobs and families, apparently healthy and whole; but they continued to struggle with the psychological after-effects of the war for years, long after their tours of duty had ended. And some are struggling even now. While I was researching this sermon I came across an organization called the "International Brotherhood of Walking Wounded," whose mission is to help Vietnam vets who are still suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
This week, we’ll be seeing many reminders of another traumatic event – the 9-11 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington. Thousands perished on that day. And for each person who died, there are dozens more who were personally affected by the tragedy. Husbands who lost their wives. Children who lost their fathers. Police and firefighters who lost partners. People who worked and lived in Manhattan, and witnessed the tragedy firsthand. And then the rest of us, all over the country and all over the world, who watched it unfold on television, watched in horror and disbelief as airliners full of people slammed into the World Trade Center Towers, watched as the buildings burned and collapsed, killing thousands of people. Even if you didn’t know anyone who died, you couldn’t help but be affected by those terrible images. And inevitably, in the coming week, as we watch the news programs commemorating the anniversary of 9-11, some of the feelings we experienced on that day will come flooding back in. How many thousands of people are still dealing with the emotional aftershocks of that event, how many "walking wounded" from September eleven are still among us?
I’m using this tragedy as an example because it’s a shared experience, something we’re all familiar with. But in fact, most of the experiences that create hidden wounds are not public events. Usually, when we’re bruised and broken emotionally, it’s because of some private tragedy; some personal trauma. Something that few other people, and perhaps no one else, knows about. Words spoken between a husband and wife, or between a parent and child. And as much as our friends may want to empathize, they can’t really understand. No one else can fully enter into our world, to feel what we feel, and to suffer what we suffer.
And so I wonder: to what extent are you and I walking wounded? How many of us have hidden wounds, known only to ourselves? How many of us are hurting, from the after-effects of toxic relationships or dysfunctional families; still recovering from old losses and betrayals; still hearing the echoes of unkind words spoken long ago? Probably most of us, to some degree or another. And it’s not as if all that hurt is in the past. We’re constantly being assaulted as we make our way in the world. Sometimes we’re bumped or bruised, sometimes we’re deeply wounded, but it’s simply not possible to live among other people, in a society, or a family, or a church, and not be hurt. That just the way life is; how it has been ever since Adam and Eve left the garden, and how it will be until Christ returns. We sin. We wound one another. Sometimes we do it unintentionally, out of ignorance or thoughtlessness. We may not even know when we’ve done it. Sometimes we do it on purpose, out of anger, or pride, or spite. But we all cause pain, and we all experience pain. As David expressed in Psalm 109:
"But you, O Sovereign Lord, deal well with me for your name’s sake;
out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me."
– Psalm 109:21-22
"But", someone might ask, "even if we do have hidden hurts and secret sorrows, so what? Why stir things up? Why not leave them alone, let sleeping dogs lie?" And my answer is that our pain is not as dormant and inactive as we would like to think. Even though it’s out of sight, even though we’re not consciously dwelling on it, our pain can still produce all kinds of destructive emotions and behaviors. Anger. Rage. Depression. Emotional numbness. Marital conflict. Alcoholism. And on and on. Now, I’m not a psychiatrist, and I don’t pretend to be up on all the theories about the subconscious mind. But I am a pastor and a counselor. And from experience, I know that often the roots of our problems go deeper than we realize, down into the parts of our soul that are hidden from public view.
The good news for all of us, no matter where we are spiritually, no matter what we may be struggling with, is that God is able to heal our hidden wounds. They may be deep and longstanding. They may be a tangled web of confusion and pain. But God sees and understands. And regardless of how sin has scarred us, He can make us whole again. He can calm the storm raging in our hearts. He can replace bitterness and despair with peace and joy. He can rebuild and repair what is broken. Our loving heavenly Father wants nothing more than to comfort us and strengthen us as his beloved children. And he will do all of these things, if we seek him and place our trust in him. As the Psalmist assures us:
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." – Psalm 34:18
"[The Lord] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." – Psalm 147:3
And as Jesus himself promised,
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." – Matthew 11:28-29
Is your soul troubled and restless? Are you weary and burdened in your spirit? Then come to Christ.
What I’d like to do this morning is talk about how we can experience rest and healing; how we can find comfort, and strength, and release from the pain of our hidden wounds. And I have three principles to suggest; three channels through which we can receive God’s power and blessing. What they all have in common is that they represent a turning to Christ in faith. Because ultimately, our trust isn’t in psychological theories or counseling techniques. We’re not relying on human wisdom, or intelligence, or advanced degrees. Nor will the answer to our quest come from the latest pharmaceuticals. Those things have their place; they may even be helpful, but they are not essential. They are not fundamental to our spiritual health. Because we are dealing here with the cure of souls, and the solution must be a spiritual one, a work of God accomplished within our hearts by the power of the Holy Spirit.
The first principle is this, that, healing comes through the application of truth to our hearts. Let me ask you a question: why is it so painful when other people mistreat you? Why does it hurt so much when someone you love speaks rudely to you, or harshly criticizes you, or becomes enraged at you? Because the implicit message, in their words or their conduct, is that you are not worthy of love and respect. You don’t deserve to be treated well. You don’t deserve to have your feelings taken into account. You deserve only contempt and rejection. Now, those attitudes may not be explicitly stated. They may not even be intended, although sometimes they are. Husbands and wives can say terrible, destructive things to one another. Siblings can be cruel to one another, and parents can emotionally abuse their children. I’ve seen parents whose attitude toward a child is constantly one of anger and condemnation. Nothing the child does is ever right, or good, or praiseworthy. And day after day, the parent pours acid on the child’s self-esteem. I’ll be honest with you; it makes me angry when I see people treating children that way. And it makes God angry. I’m reminded of Jesus’ words, that:
". . . whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." – Matthew 18:5-6
But whatever the source, whether it comes from a parent, or a teacher, or a coach, or a classmate, or a husband or wife, it hurts. It’s destructive. It attacks our basic identity, our fundamental sense of self-worth. Thankfully, the truth is a powerful antidote. What did Christ say about the truth?
". . . If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." – John 8:31-32
One of the things the truth releases us from is the destructive power of contempt and rejection. It tells us that, no matter what any other person may say, we are not worthless. We are not valueless. We are not unworthy of love. According to the Bible, we have great value to God; we are worthy of His limitless love. We are so precious to Him that He gave the life of His own Son in exchange for ours, so that He could have a relationship with us. He delights in us, values us, treasures us, loves us.
". . . ’I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.’" – Jeremiah 31:3
Over and over in the gospels, we see Jesus scandalizing everyone, by treating the lowly and the outcast with consideration and respect. According to society, they had little or no value. People like children. Women. The poor and the sick. Lepers. Prostitutes. Tax collectors. Samaritans. If any of these had judged their worth according to how they were treated by other people, they would have been way off the mark. But Jesus knew the truth. In his eyes, they had great value, and were completely worthy of his love. They were worth his time and attention. They were even worth his life, the life of the son of God. So were you and I, and we need to remind ourselves of that fact.
When I counsel people, for example, a woman who is in emotionally abusive relationship, I often advise them simply to speak the truth, as a way of protecting themselves from the destructive effects of demeaning treatment and harsh words. For instance, if a man calls his wife, "stupid," I would advise her to reply simply, "no, I’m not stupid". Or if he calls her "lazy," when in fact she is a diligent worker, she might say, "no, I work hard". And if he calls her worthless, and says that no one will ever love her, she could reply, "no, I’m not worthless. Jesus Christ gave his life for me, and he loves me". Note that I’m not encouraging anyone to be contentious or argumentative. We need to maintain an attitude of humility. But speaking truth into a situation is not sin. Now, there may be times when it’s not possible to do this verbally, when speaking up could be inflammatory. In that case, you can still state the truth to yourself silently, in your own mind. And that goes for anyone. Don’t leave a destructive falsehood unanswered. You need to bring the truth into the situation, even if prudence requires that you do it silently. Is this difficult? Yes. It requires courage and toughness of mind. It’s hard to maintain a confidence in your own worth when someone important or powerful is attacking you. And this is one place where scripture memory can come in handy. When you’re under assault, it can be difficult to think clearly. Memorized verses can help guide your response.
And so the first principle for receiving healing is to affirm the truth. The second channel for receiving healing for hidden wounds is faith. Remember that God had a good purpose in allowing you to be wounded. No one can do or say anything to harm you without his express permission. Your parents, your wife, your employer – none of them can do anything to you that is contrary to God’s purpose and plan for your life. They are not that powerful. If they hurt you, it’s because God has permitted it. Even Satan, when he wanted to afflict Job, had to get God’s permission first. And although God gave Satan permission, he set limits on what he could do.
"Then the Lord said to Satan, ’Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.’
’Skin for skin!’ Satan replied. ’A man will give all he has for his own life. But stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.’
The Lord said to Satan, ’Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.’" – Job 2:3-6
Similarly, we read in other places that it is God who afflicts his people, because no matter who the instrument may be, it is God who is ultimately in control. For example, in Job chapter five, we read,
"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal." – Job 5:17-18
"Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds." – Hosea 6:1
Does God afflict us? Does he wound us? Yes. But not out of anger. All of God’s anger, and all of the punishment, for our sins was poured out on Christ on the cross. When God wounds us, it is always in love. It is always for our benefit and our ultimate blessing. He may do it to teach us some lesson, or to wean us away from some sin, or to help us to refocus our eyes upon him. There are as many reasons as there are people, because God deals with each of us as an individual. But the point is this: if we have been wounded, it is not because we live in a random universe filled with unseen dangers. It’s not because God has abandoned us; nor is it because He is unable or unwilling to help us. Our wounds, every one of them, come from the hand of a loving Father who does not delight in afflicting us, but only does so out of necessity, in order to accomplish his good and wise purposes in our life.
Now, as you think over the things you’ve experienced, you might object to this idea. What possible good purpose could God have had in mind for the mistreatment I suffered from my father? Or my ex-husband? Or my former business partner? Or those nasty folks at the last church I attended? I don’t know. And it’s likely that you won’t know either, this side of heaven. But in the end, you have to decide whether you’re going to believe the Bible or not. Either God is truly God – meaning that He’s sovereign over all things, including your life. And He’s good and loving, as the Bible says He is, and worthy of your trust. And He’s working all things to the good of his people, including you. Or else He’s not, and you might as well abandon Christianity and find another religion more to your liking. Personally, I prefer to worship the God of the Bible – a good, loving, wise and sovereign God whose actions I don’t always understand – instead of a God who would like to do the right thing, but who just isn’t powerful enough to pull it off. That kind of God would hardly be worthy of our allegiance.
Third, we receive healing from hidden wounds through forgiveness. It is no sin to be wounded. But often, we sin in response to being wounded. We harbor anger and bitterness in our hearts; we indulge fantasies of revenge; we speak and act out of hatred and resentment. We act as if the Old Testament principle of "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" were still in effect. But it’s not. Christ has given us a new rule of life, one based on love.
"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." – Luke 6:27-28
What is Christ talking about here? What "enemies" is he referring to? Osama bin Laden? Saddam Hussein? Perhaps. But He’s also talking about forgiving people closer to home. Forgiving your father for being selfish and self-absorbed, and for never coming to any of your high school football games. He’s talking about forgiving your mother for being hyper-critical and never giving you a single word of approval. He’s talking about forgiving your wife for criticizing you in front of your friends; forgiving your husband for his outbursts of anger; and forgiving your children for not turning out the way you hoped they would. He’s talking about forgiving the people who have wounded you in the past, and who continue to wound you now. Does that mean you’re saying that what they did was OK? No. In fact, it means the opposite. It means that what they did was hurtful, and wrong, and even sinful, but that you choose not to hold it against them. You choose to forgive them their misdeeds against you, just as Christ has forgiven your sins. Do they deserve it? No, of course not! That’s just the point. Neither did you.
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." – Ephesians 4:31-32
And what does the Lord’s prayer say?
"’Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’ For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." – Matthew 6:12-15
Forgiveness is a test of the genuineness of our faith. Those who refuse to forgive are demonstrating that they’ve never known God’s forgiveness themselves. But in the context of today’s message, it’s important in another way. Because without forgiveness, there can be no healing. As long as you hold that anger and bitterness in your heart, you won’t be free. Only as you grant forgiveness to those who have wounded you, and even those who wounded you long ago, can you gain freedom from the hurt and pain they caused you.
So in closing: how do we gain healing from hidden wounds? First, by affirming the truth about ourselves, that we have great worth and value in God’s sight; second, by trusting in God’s sovereign love; and third, by seeking God’s grace and power to forgive those who have wounded us.
And finally, let me say this: God never intended for you to deal with your hurts alone. He placed you in a church body, with other imperfect people who are trying to follow Christ, who are trying to live according to the truth, who are trying to trust in God’s sovereign love and trying to forgive as they’ve been forgiven. They need your help and you need theirs. We need each other. So let’s admit our struggles to one another. Let’s encourage each other. Let’s pray for one another. And together, let’s keep our eyes fixed on Christ, looking forward to that great day when all sin and pain and sorrow will finally be a thing of the past, when God will wipe away every tear from our eyes.
(For an .rtf file of this and other sermons, see www.journeychurchonline.org/messages.htm)
